This is the tenth of the monthly columns my late dad wrote:
Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you might even agree with parts of it.Rusty Rucker No. 1 - Rusty Rucker No. 2 - Rusty Rucker No. 3 - Rusty Rucker No. 4 - Rusty Rucker No. 5 - Rusty Rucker No. 6 - Rusty Rucker No. 7 - Rusty Rucker No. 8 - Rusty Rucker No. 9 - poems. Posted by Tiger at July 27, 2003 04:35 PMMay 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.
Technology has done caught up and is running circles around us. Wonder how many VCRs have been flashing 12:00 for more ‘n five seasons? If them that makes ‘em are so blasted smart, why don't they set the time at the factory? Or have a button you could push to start the clock and set it with one touch. No, scratch that. The trouble with most doohickeys now is too many buttons -- half are never pressed for fear they will blow up the dad-blasted hen house.
Stopped by a fellers house t'other day ‘cause he invited me over to see his new Digital High Definition TV. It was right fancy to stare at, but the picher looked same an all others I'd seen and I told him so.
"Well, " he says, "that's ‘cause they haven't started broadcasting HDTV yet."
It were about the same nonsense as me buying a brand spanking new Studebaker Wagon ‘n see if somebody happens to come along and gim'me a team of draft horses. I don't think so. Heck, b'fore he gets the chance to see what its like, they may be somtin already better.
After he had done with showing me his pride and joy -- cost a bit more than I paid for my farm 50 years ago -- I happened to look over on a little side table and remote controls were piled up like firewood. At my questioning he told me, one was for the TV, one for the VCR, one for the satellite dish, and one for the CD Player, but what really scratched my funnybone, one was a universal to replace all the others, but he couldn't remember which buttons did what ‘cause every last one of them had multi-functions.
"Besides," he said, "It will only do basic commands. So I need the old remotes for more suffocated programing."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Don't know. Never learned how to do any." With that he got up, walked across the room, and pulled the TV's power cord from its wall socket.
Never was one to waste time. When I got nothing to do, I whittle. Keeps my hands busy and I don't run out of toothpicks.
Both my hounds got into it with a skunk a while back. Smelt right pungent at my place for a while. Never did find out who won, but I dang sure know two dogs that lost. I tied ‘em to a willow tree down by the creek so they could get water and heaved biscuits at them for a week. S'pose they'll think twice ‘fore they tangle with a striped cat again.
Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!
Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, we tend to neglect the faith that moves mountains.
--Eric Hoffer(Var.)NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!