August 02, 2003

Episode No. 16

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Editor's note: Upon opening the file with December, 1999's column, I noticed it was just a rerun of the Christmas poem from the December, 1998 column. As such, I saw no reason to republish such here. However, just on a lark, I clicked the link for the lost October, 1999 column and remarkably actually accessed that column. So, instead of the expected December, 1999 column, what follows is the previously skipped October, 1999 column. Additionally, as a bonus, I retrieved the title graphic for the Rusty Rucker column.

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

October, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Starting my 2nd. year with this issue. Thanks to all my loyal fans who drop in each month to read the latest scoop. I have tried to make this issue special, but will never know how you like it unless you write and tell me.

SUBJECT: Reno's Ramblings

I didn't actually hear this speech , but the information came from a reliable sourse.

Read this alarming statement from Janet Reno:

"A CULTIST is one who has a strong belief in the Bible and the Second Coming of Christ; who frequently attends Bible studies; who has a high level of financial giving to a Christian cause; who homeschools for their children; who has accumulated survival foods and has strong belief in the Second Amendment; and who distrusts big government. Any of these may qualify a person as a cultist but certainly more than one of these would cause us to look at this person as a threat and his family as being in a high risk situation that qualifies for government interference."

-- Janet Reno, Attny. General of the United States during an Interview on CBS "60 Minutes" on June 26, 1999.

Do YOU qualify as a cultist by Reno's definition? Are you (as defined by the US Attorney General) a threat to the U.S.?

This concerns me. Does it bother you?

Everyone in this country -- "the land of the free" -- with computer access should copy this and send a copy to every other man, woman and child who has the ability to read.

There is a heap of uproar lately regarding Police sales of confiscated firearms. This knowledge leads me to wonder -- WHAT ABOUT CONFISCATED DRUGS? You hear all the time about the Coast Guard, FBI, or some branch of Police making a raid whitch yields a huge amount of drugs -- OFTEN TONS. How many times have you heard or read when or where those drugs are being destroyed? Hummmmmm!

Statistics show that Americans work the first three hours of every day just to pay their taxes.

That must be why we can't get much done in the mornings -- we're government workers!

You remember, I mentioned a while back that the POPULATION BOMB has already gone off. This is evidenced by all the starving people around the world. Think I read someplace that two-thirds of the world populaion goes to bed hungry every night. I don't suppose that is an accurate statement, 'cause millions and millions have no bed to climb in. Now those of us that have the power to enforce birth control have failed to use it and seems like God (AKA Mother Nature) is steppin' in to help out. Is it my imagination, or are there lots more killer earthquakes lately than ever before in history? And what about killer diseases like HIV. Now they say the fastest spreading virus is hepatitis C and it is even a more deadly killer. I just lost a close family member [*] to cirrhosis of the liver, brought on by this dreaded disease. It, like HIV can be transmitted by sharing drug needles and having unprotected sex with an infected person, but the reason it is more deadly -- THE VIRUS CAN SURVIVE MUCH LONGER OUTSIDE THE BODY.

Our government keeps talking about sending more money to Columbia to help fight the drug lords that have taken control of that country. Seems to me like we could send the mone okay, but in the form of CARE packages. They could be delivered by Stealth fighters with CARE to drop them on the most needy. The processing plants. There is something wrong when government is willing to spend billions to fight someone else's war in Europe while doing next to nothing about this invasion that is destroying our nation and killing our young. I say, pass a law to make it an Act of War for any nation to export illegal drugs to the USA -- and if they can't inforce them, we should step in and help. This is the kind of foreign aid I can relate to.

Expect I done figured out why it is so dry here in Texas. There is only so much sunlight to draw water into the sky 'n when it all falls on North Carolina there just ain't none left for the rest of us. Either that, or the collection plate has been coming up short on Sundays.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Public confidence in the integrity of the Government is indispensable to faith in democracy; and when we lose faith in the system, we have lost faith in everything we fight and spend for.
--Adlai E. Stevenson

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

*That close family member was his wife, my mother, who had contracted Hepatitis C through blood given during a surgery almost a decade previously.

Posted by Tiger at August 2, 2003 11:35 PM
Comments

As it turns out, this is an urban legend -- Janet Reno never said that, nor did she appear on 60 Minutes on the date the legend says she said it. See here:

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/reno.htm

The site deals with urban legends of prettymuch every genre there is, politcal and otherwise.

Thanks,
Ryan Thompson
Oregon

Posted by: Ryan Thompson at June 11, 2004 07:14 PM

Thanks Ryan, and I am aware of snopes. The person who wrote these columns was my father who is now deceased. I am so very very aware that almost ever'thin' in most of these columns are hoaxes and such. My only purpose is to pay homage to my dad by republishin' his columns, which are likely worth exactly what you paid so as to read them, nothin' 'cept maybe gettin' a chuckle or two. If I remember correctly what it says at the top of each of these columns:

Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.
You are not even required to agree with any of it if ya don't want to do so.

Posted by: Tiger at June 11, 2004 08:19 PM

Cool.

You'd be stunned at how many websites still list the Reno speech as being non-fiction, LOL :)

Posted by: Ryan Thompson at December 27, 2004 03:43 AM