Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:
Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.January 2001 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.
T'other day I went into the Post Office to pick up a package too big for my mail box. It were some pictures and gifts from my daughter and her kin over yonder in Tennessee. Well, that's beside the point. What I am aimin' to tell you is that I had a long wait and went downstairs to a break room. On the way I spotted a sign pointing to "MUSEUM". Well sir, hit were a sight. All the old post office paraphernalia. I started thumbing through a binder of old letters and found the one I have attached. Now I know we was nearer to the government back in 1881 but am plum tickled to find a letter from the custodian of Abilene Post Office to The Secretary of Treasury, Washington D. C. asking for $1.50 to buy a lawn sprayer. Can't help wondering if he ever got it.
Click right here to see a bona fide copy of the letter
[There was a scan of the letter which was unrecoverable. The following contains the text of the letter.
Abilene, Texas
April 16, [1908?]The Honorable (Omirred),
The Secretary of The Treasury,
Washington D CDear Sir:
We need a lawn spreyer very badly for use on the lawn here. I hsve found that Geo. L. Paxton of this place will sell us an excellent one for $1.50.
As this is a necessity I trust that you will be pleased authorize the purchase there of.
Thanking you I beg to remail,
Very Respectfully,
(With held)
Custodian]While the clicker is handy take a look at my adoptive wolf -- Misu and tell your friends how bad full blooded timber wolves are after a little lovin'.[*]
Let me tell you this. I got several letters from folks that agreed with me on the gay v/s Boy Scouts issue, but I didn't get a single one defending the deviate behavior. Don't reckon they wanted whatever lame-brained defense they night offer published. Shucks! Was hoping I'd get me a pen-pal feller who would try to convince me it's okay to bugger my fellow men. I don't think so.
Wasn't that president election a doozy? Don't s'pose we'll ever know just who got chosen, but I kinda think we came away with the best of what was offered. Just haft to wait and see.
Lordy, this sure is starting out to be a wintery winter. I kinda like it, but maybe I wouldn't be so gung-ho if I lived some other place. Not much chance of that. Would miss the110 degree days in the summer to say nothing about the dust storms. Those little dust devils ascooting across my field are pretty cute 'til they fetch their daddy by. Ever notice how Texas and tornado seem to go hand in hand?Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!
The time has come to stop the sale of slavery to the young. --Lyndon Baines Johnson
*This link is no longer available. I am not sure what happened with Misha, but I am sure she is well and looked after.
See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.
Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.
Posted by Tiger at August 16, 2003 11:11 PM | TrackBack