Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:
Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.
February 2001 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.
Has anyone noticed the new star in the sky? If you haven't, slip outside some night and have a gaze. How to find it. Just pick out the brightest one you can see and wave -- it's the space station. That is so cool. Wish I could go up and visit but afraid I am a few bucks short. Heard that Russia it taking a man up for several million dollars.
Been shining up the place some, even give one of the dogs a bath last week. Thinking maybe I'll attract me a woman. Some days it is mighty lonesome 'round here.
Well Sir, This is the month for lovers -- old and new. Before I get to jawin' 'bout what ails this old earth and what we ain't gonna do about it, I want to mention a swell place for gettin' fixed up for your sweetie. Guys are welcome too. This lady friend of mine has the gol-dernest business for cuttin' and curling hair and fixin' your face to make you look more beauteous 'n you are supposed to be. If you live anywhere near Abilene, Texas you ought to go see her. Just give the name thing down yonder a nudge with your mouse clicker and see what all she has to offer. And boys, y'all need to have a gawk at the pretty girls a working over there. They are cuter than a June Bug on a Watermelon.
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I ran across the following story and thought it would be fitting right now -- or anytime.Who I Am Makes A DifferenceThanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference they each made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a week.
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people."
That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes A Difference" on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I love you!"
The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom explaining why I had killed myself and asking you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all." His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain. The envelope was addressed, "Mom and Dad".
The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference.
The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life...one being the boss's son. And the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson.
Who you are DOES make a difference.
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Gun Refresher Course by Art Tupin
a.. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
b.. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
c.. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
d.. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
e.. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
f.. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
g.. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
h.. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
i.. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
j.. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
k.. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
l.. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
m.. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
n.. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
o.. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
p.. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
q.. 911 - government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
r.. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
s.. Criminals love gun control - it makes their jobs safer.
t.. If Guns cause Crime, then Matches cause Arson.
u.. Only a government that is afraid of it's citizens try to control them.
v.. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
w.. Enforce the "gun control laws" in place, don't make more.
x.. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
y.. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
z. "...a government by the people, for the people..."
It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven. --Josh Billings
Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.Posted by Tiger at August 17, 2003 10:22 PM