Read My Lips - the blog

Episode No. 1

Well, Rusty has passed, and so for your entertainment, I had to find some other old geezer to pass along his wisdom. I hope ya'll like the one I found. He is just a lonely old guy sitting by himself most of the time, wishing some old friends would drop by or something. I hope you enjoy his thoughts:

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

First Edition: August 2003 - updated when Willie get the itch

Just sittin' here thinkin' back to the days when me and Hil was young and she used to care about my poor wee willie a bit more'n she does now. I am pretty sure she don't give a whit about my willie anymore. Maybe I am the only one who cares about my willie. Seems Monica won't return my calls.

I was talkin' to a fella the other day and why we was talkin' ‘bout not gettin' any, he said somethin' like how most people liked only to mess with them of the other sex, but there was them homos that liked to lay down with their own kind, and then there was bunches of horny people that didn't care if'n they laid with their own kind or the other sort, just whatever they could do to ease their horniness. When he was sayin' that, I kinda thought about Hil. I ain't sure if'n she is gettin' some with some other guy or some other gal, but she sure ain't gettin' some with me. Her choice though, not mine.

Anyways, that fella I was talkin' to was real nice, like. He had a pretty smile and he winked at me when we parted. He said, "I would like to to see more of ya sometime," and then he winked. That was a really nice fella.

Now, another thing that I been thinkin' on is this Ben Affeck fella. Now what is this deal, he was hangin' with that Jennifer Lopez but now he is hangin' with that Britney Spears. Does that guy have thing for skanks or what? Speakin' of skanks, if you read this Monica, call me, please! I'm desperate, baby.

Stu walked in the other day and caught me with my pants down. Tweren't no one with me. Sad, huh? I was just playing wank the willie all by myself. Sure do miss the days when I could just call on an intern or something. It sucks to be a has-been.

That new fella that took over my old house in Washington sure does have a pretty wife. I bet she takes better care of his willie than I came to ‘spect from Hil. See, I couldn't ever tell the public that I woulda never been doin' Monica if ol' Hil had been doin' what a wife is supposed to do. All'n she was ever worried about was her career and that damn health care stuff.

See people didn't know the real Hil. Well, maybe some of them old cronies of mine in the Arkansas Statehouse did, cause I know they often referred to her as "Chilly Hilly." As skanks go, she was the coldest skank I ever ran across, and damn, but she is the skank I went and married.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?