Read My Lips - the blog

Episode No. 3

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Al called me today. I figured he wanted to discuss some strategy about how to get the nomination from the Party, but he was lookin' for Hil. I wonder if that is who she is gettin' it from. I never thought of ol' Al as a ladies' man, but then I saw that smooch he planted on Tipsy during that last run at the big house. Tipsy is pretty in a real skanky sort of way. I wonder if they are swingers. Heck if Al is low enough to do my Hil, I guess I am low enough to do ol' Tipsy.

Anyway, I told Al Hil had headed back to Congress, so he said he would try to catch her there. After he hung up, I called up the boys and told them we were going for a walk. I have to do that, you know, some stupid rule, like anyone hates me enough to do anything. They was not real happy about the timing. Benji like "Price is Right," and it is a pain for him to tear away from Bob Barker. Benji is a strange one, he is. I still ain't sure he hangs the right way.

So, we finally got Benji out and we all went walkin' down to the girl's prep school on the edge of town. I like to catch field hockey practice. The skankiest gals play field hockey. I just hid back in the bushes and watch them for the longest. I was gettin' a pretty good woody, and would have loved to wank the willie, but Benji was hangin' real close. I was hopin' he was eying the gals, but I was afraid to look back ‘lest he was eying my willie. I don't want to be givin' ol' Benji any ideas that I swing that way. Like I said, I ain't real sure, but I ain't wanting to take any chances either.

I was just standin' there in the woods when the ball got loose and came rolling my way. I am not sure if that skanky li'l red-headed gal saw me, but she circled that ball so that when she bent to pick it up, she shined that ass right in my face. I think I would have dragged her right then into the bushes and had my way with the little wench, ‘cept damn Stu musta been reading my mind. Just as I was ready to make my lunge, he grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around. "I think it is time we were gettin' back, Mr. President." I like when they say it that way. I makes me think back to the time when all I had to do was snap my fingers and some gal would come in, drop to her knees and unzip my pants. Those were the good ol' days. Damn that Monica, why doesn't she return my calls.

I got some dumb ol' speakin' engagement tonight. Usually I look forward to such things, since there is always the off-chance I can snag a minute with some skank in a dark corner or somethin'. But Hil set me up to do some fund-raisin' at some homo club. I just know I am gonna get my ass pinched or somethin'. I think she does these things on purpose. She really does hate me, you know? Now where the fuck is that damn blue pin-striped suit? If they are gonna be lookin' at my ass, I might as well make it presentable.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?