Read My Lips - the blog

Episode No. 7

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playin' pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Monday, September 1, 2003

Wow, it seems to have been a few days since I reported what had occurred in my life. First of all, my suspicions about what Hil has been up to of late are highly aroused. Oh, I like sayin' highly aroused, it just gives me goose bumps to think about bein' highly aroused. Oops, let me get my mind back on the subject at hand, Hil and her hijinks. I just found that the Senate was not even in session durin' the last few days of last week. Nope, I found out that Hil had gone off to some Caribbean island on some junket supposedly financed by some lobbyist. That is just wrong! It is not like I didn't let her accompany me on every trip I took when I was in the Big House. Heck, she was even in on the thin' between Monica and me. Hil wanted to videotape it, but Monica got a bit squeamish when the camera came around. Well, anyway, I think Hil is up to something, and it sure ain't tryin' to give me some. She ain't been up to givin' me some in a long time. I bet she is givin' some to somebody down on that island. I just bet she is.

Well, I was glad when Heather finally made it the other day. I told Stu and Benji that she was here to take dictation, but I am quite sure they knew what kind of dictation she was taking. That was about the sweetest dictation I have experienced in a long while. In fact, I am not too sure she didn't take dictation much better than Monica, or even Hil back when she was up for takin' a bit of dictation from me every once in a while.

Yesterday was kind of a down day. I was pretty spent from havin' gotten every penny of that grand I handed over to Heather for the quality time she expended with me. I pretty well hung around the house and watched some football and stuff. Stu and Benji hung around and watched it with me. I didn't even catch Benji eyein' my ass or anythin' all day. It was just like three regular guys all hangin' around and drinkin' beer, rootin' on their favorite team. Of course, it was not all fun and games, because In the first game I was rootin' for Colorado State and they were both rootin' for Colorado. It looked at the end of the first half like Colorado had won, but those scrappers from Colorado State almost came back and I was a hootin' and a hollerin' like somethin', I don't know what. But in the end, they just did not have enough, They lost it by 35-42. Then came the Arkansas State - Texas A&M game and was that a strange game. Arkansas State just moved the ball up and down the field but could never punch it in. Again, right at the end, it looked like my boys from Arkansas State could possibly come back, but they faltered, final score 26-11, but the game was closer than that.

Yesterday I just sat around and caught up on some correspondence. Tony Blair wanted to know how I was and what I thought about the war in Iraq. I couldn't let him know I had supported GWB's actions in goin' in. It was not the party line. I just had to hem and haw about how it had bogged down, how it looked like the administration had bit off more'n it could chew and how it was all a big mistake not to get a bit more international support and doin' a bit more plannin' before goin' in. I wanted so badly to tell him that I wished I had thought of goin' to war against Iraq. Maybe then I would go down in History as a President that did something, instead of the President who got a blowjob. I wrote a letter to Chirac, the head of France. I told him how unfair it was that everyone was jumpin' on France for havin' done the right thing. I finished that letter, I had writers' cramp so took a rest. I went to go check on the boys and they was arguin' about why they had missed the MTV Awards. Seems there was some skank mouth kissin' between Madonna and Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. I think Benji said somethin' ‘bout missin' seeing Jason Timberlake's fine ass or somethin' like that, but Stu shushed him when I got close. Them tellin' me about them skanks doin' all that mouth kissin' got me to fantacizin' all day about them three skanks. What I could do with a skank threesome like that. Heck I might need to swallow a dozen Viagras again. I just got up in my room and dreamed of the four of us rollin' around on the bed and stuff, and finally just could not stand it a moment longer and had to wank the willie a bit.

I was havin' the weirdest dream right before I woke this morning. I was dreamin' Monica was here and was swallowin' my willie long and deeply. It was such a grand dream. I remember it was so real I felt it was actually occurrin' and I felt myself comin' to a conclusion and awoke. As I tried to focus my eyes, I head the door slam and feet runnin' down the hallway. I had such an enormous wooden willie and it was exposed, my havin' somehow kicked the covers off durin' the night. There I was with this enormously engorged willie and I guess the maid must have come in and seen me, got embarrassed and gone rushin' off down the hall. It must have been a really good dream, because my willie was really moist, almost damp. You don't think that maid had been in here doin' a Monica on me, do you? I have been wonderin' about that all day. She is too good lookin' to be a real skank, but I would let her do me. She wouldn't have to sneak around like that if she wanted to do me. Heck, it ain't like I wasn't enjoyin' it. I wonder if I ought to ask her to come back in here and finish the job. I wonder what Stu and Benji are doing. Maybe I can get them to accompany me down to watch them field hockey gals. Oh, wait, it is Labor Day. There ain't no school today. I wonder if Heather is in. Do whores take holidays off?

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?