Read My Lips - the blog

Mr. Green came by today

OK, so we had our First Annual (hopefully) Moonshine Festival today, and as I had told you, I had a part in such. Back in the 20's, our county was the Moonshine Capital of Texas, because our Sheriff and County Attorney were part of the situation. The Texas Rangers came to the area, started choppin' up all the stills and arrested several moonshiners, as well as the County Sheriff and County Attorney. For many years, no one in town would mention such, as many of them were relatives of those that were arrested and were part of the situation. Most of those involved and their brothers and sisters have died. Most of their children are now really old and the grandchildren are proud that their grandparents were moonshiners. Now we started a festival to share that part of our history.

I was playing a travelin' patent medicine doctor, like a snake oil seller, sitting on the foot rail of a '26 Ford Model A car and would try catch everyone that walked by and tell them a story. The radio DJ was walkin' around before he went on the air to see what was goin' on so as to describe the event on the radio. I must have impressed the radio station DJ with the story I was tellin' because he came by later and allowed me to tell the story on the radio. Wanna hear what I had to say?

I guess ya'll heard about them smashin' up all them stills, huh? Well, my business is doing well. People have been comin' to me all week to assist them with their problems. Just like Mr. Green, who was just here. Mr. Green was tellin' me about having this fierce pain in his stomach. He said, "Doc, it is horrible. My stomach cramps and it is so intense, I cannot seem to get to sleep at night. Can you help me, Doc? Do you have somethin' that will help me out?

I reached into the back of my car and grabbed a bottle of Professor Sortor's Magical Elixer and handed him a bottle. Then I said, "Now Mr. Green, this stuff is about 20% alcohol. You don't have any adversion to drinking alcohol, do you Mr. Green?"

Thereupon, Mr. Green stated, "Doc, you have looked into my heart and peered into my soul. You are a life saver, Doc. How can ever I repay you?"

"Just like yesterday, the price is 50¢."

"And just like yesterday, I don't have 50¢. Can't I just give you a chicken like I did yesterday?"

"Mr. Green," I have company comin' over this weekend, so you had better make it two chickens. And you be sure to pluck 'em this time."

I got more laughs than not. It took me awhile to come up with that story, but it seemed to be appropriate for the event. However, I am now plum tuckered out and think I will go watch a movie and then go to bed. Of course, as usual, I might be back at some later time.