Yikes, but what my arm is not hurtin' like Hell. I ain't sure what carpal tunnel syndrome is, but if it means that you damn arm bone feels like it is on fire, I think I got it bad on the right side. Maybe I am lucky and it is only a stress fracture. Whatever it is, it is not givin' me any pleasure ... despite my predilection for findin' some painful experiences to be fun here and there* and my unusual ability to withstand pain to a great extent. I am not sure if it is the pain or the worry that I might be permanently afflicted with something that will keep me from manipulatin' mouse and keys to my heart's desire. Even, more incredibly, it might be the end of my pathetic love life .... what little bit of love life my involuntarily imposed asexuality allows me to experience. I damn well ain't gonna describe the ins and outs and ups and downs, or the utter lack thereof which constitutes my love life. I will leave that bit of TMI completely to your own imagination. You can almost bet that anything you imagine is actually much better than what actually occurs. If it be any consolation, however, I will tell you that there are times when my navel actually plays some part in the endeavor. That part also, I will leave to your imagination. Feel free to conjure whatever scenarios you desire. As I said, they are most probably so much more erotic than the real thing. I suppose things might be better with coke, but as I have no coke, am aware that coke is illegal, and have no idea what effect coke actually has on the body, that things might actually be worse with coke. Actually, I am truly beginnin' to think things might be better with a healthy dose of saltpeter every day. I also wonder if that really works or is it some old wives' tale of yesteryear. What in the hell is saltpeter anyway? I think it is that potassium nitrate that is used for salt substitute for people that are on low sodium diets. Or at least that belief is why I have always avoided the use of such substance.
I actually abhor goin' to the doctor for any problem, advice or whatever. Mostly this is because I don't really want to know that I am dyin', that my cholesterol is high, blood pressure is high, stress level is high, or that the doctor's bills are especially high for the little bit of crud he actually did do durin' the visit. My dad once said he understood why a doctor's business was called a practice. He said it was because they really didn't know how to fix you, they just continued to practice on you until they either found somethin' that eventually cured you or you died. I almost have to agree with that impression, because I know I have not felt much confidence in any physician ... well, except maybe for that last proctologist I saw. I mean a guy that actually looks up you butt must have enough love for his job to shoot straight with you, huh? I trusted the guy, I really did. I had to trust him, because he had his whole hand up my ass. I forget now exactly why that was. What I do know is that I was both impressed and shocked that a person's whole hand and a goodly portion of an arm could actually fit into my butt. I also remember that the sensation of havin' that hand and most of that arm up my butt was not very pleasurable. I decided then and there that my prostate could rot and disintegrate before I was gonna ever go see any proctologist again. Of course, would it not be ironic if the cure for carpal tunnel syndrome turned out to be as simple as shoving your hand and a goodly portion of your arm up someone's butt.
Now, if the foregoin' discussion did not completely run off the three remainin' readers I still have, my animal magnetism is much stronger than I previously believed to be possible. However, I fear goin' forth further, first because my arm is still hurtin' like hell and secondly, because my arm is still hurtin' like hell. End of report.
*Oh spank me, baby! Yeah!
Posted by notGeorge at February 16, 2004 11:08 PM | TrackBackSaltpeter is indeed potassium nitrate; its effect on one's libido is more legendary than chemical.
Posted by: CGHill at February 17, 2004 01:01 PMThe old carpal tunnell problem! In addition to my other
aging problems..I have that too along with tendonitis
in both hands--that damn burn! Better there I guess, than buring when you pee.
I found that you do a lot of unknowning things to your hands when you sleep that adds to the day time pain.
I discovered that wearing a pair semi firm gloves at nite
helps eliminate the sleep time damage that you can do.