Read My Lips - the blog

A jealous neighbor rears its head and asks to be heard

It was a wet and dreary day today and that, coincidin' with the final culmination of a week's worth of work, kept my brain fogged for the better part of it. Ya'll didn't take any pity on me, either. I let down on the bloggin' effort just a whit, and ya'll stayed away in droves. I am beginnin' to wonder if my flagrant use of the forkin' "F" word is offendin' so many of my readers that I need to delete this blog and start anew with a G ratin' or if'n ya'll are just gettin' bored with my navel. I am actually thinkin' it likely has a lot less to do with ya'll not likin' my navel that it does about my lackin' boobs. I think I have visited the theory 'bout bloggers that do have boobs seem to draw much more attention that bloggers without boobs, for the most part. I ain't changed my mind, but then, I find that, on occasion, I too skip along my blogroll skippin' over some of the guys to get to the gals. It's all my navel's fault though, 'cause my navel craves female attention. I apprears that my naked navel is of the opinion that soft female hands caress much more smoothly than my coarse male hands. I mean, it ain't like I got rough callouses or such, as I mainly use my hands to keyboard and lift a cup of Dr. Pepper to my mouth. It ain't like I am diggin' ditches or ejaculatin' elephants* or some other really manly activity, but I also don't slather lotion on them so as to give them that silky soft texture that drives my navel wild.

Anyway, my navel has intimated to me that I should ask that some of ya'll gals leave some little notes tellin' it just how ya feel about it. It does not have high navel esteem, it seems, and requires a bit of affirmation that it might not always be stuck with my mostly accidental man mitt caresses as its sole form of affection. My penis has also asked me to pass along a couple of requests, but I ain't goin' there -- at least not this evenin'. I mean, here I am thinkin' 'bout curtailin' the flagrant use of the word fork and my penis is wantin' me to establish a whole new category entitled Tales of the Enchanted Penis. I have attempted to get it to understand that penile fantasies are a dime a dozen dozen** among bloggers, and as I am a non-conformist by my very nature: if ever'one else is doin' it, then I am avoidin' joinin' in on that activity. My penis then advised me that such attitude probably had a lot to do with why it spent most of its wakin' moments fantasizin' 'bout some excitin' activity instead of bein' actually involved in some excitin' activity. Even as brain fogged as I am this evenin', I can almost see its point. Maybe I will just go to bed and mull that over. Anyone wanna join me? My penis asked me to pose that question. End of report.

*It's a hard job, but I suppose someone has to do it.

**Oh, now that's really gross.

Posted by notGeorge at March 12, 2004 11:02 PM