Read My Lips - the blog

Apr. 2, 2004

After 3 weeks in the garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking; the smell, the sights --- everything is wonderful. But I have just one problem. It is these three breasts You have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, and snagging them on bushes. They are a real problem." Eve went on to tell God that many of her other body parts came in pairs such as her limbs, eyes, ears, and that she felt having only two breasts would leave her more "symmetrically balanced" as she put it.

"That's a fair point," God replied, "but it was My first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts so I figured you only would need half that. But I see you are right and I will fix that right away." God reached down and plucked the middle breast from her and threw it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the garden. "Well, how is my favorite creation doing now?"

"Just fantastic" she replied, "except for one other oversight on Your part. See how all the other animals have paired up? The cow has her bull, the ewe her ram, and I have nobody."

God thought for a moment and said "Eve, you are right. I will create a mate for you from a part of your body. Now let's see . . . where did I throw that useless boob?"