Read My Lips - the blog

Just a dab of Happily Ever After Potion

Well, it seems that Hollywood has stolen one of my gags and put it into a major motion picture. I ain't gonna tell which movie it is, but surely ya'll remember I was the one who was sayin' that the Democrats' donkey symbol was an ass, right? What? You don't remember this? Yeah, yeah, I know I said jackass and not merely ass, and that the movie just used the term ass and not jackass in reference to a character mostly referred to as Donkey, but still, I have a feelin' that people from Pixar are readin' my blog.

O' course, that might not really be all bad. I am mindful of the fact that I am probably not the first one to refer to a donkey as an ass or jackass, and likely not even the first one to do it for humorous satirical purposes. So, I guess I will allow this slight faux pas to pass. Damn it , I used French. 'Scuse me while I go wash my mouth out with soap. Please also pardon me further, as I fully plan on doin' so with the remainin' bit o' imaginary soap left over from last night's Acme Pipedream Kit.

Speakin' of that Kit, that soap, and last night, I just wanted to tell ya'll how utter hard it was to get that damned bar of imaginary soap out of that box. Acme must have kept the price down on the Pipedream Kit by puttin' certain products within the Kit without bein' properly wrapped. Do you realize how slippery a bar of imaginary soap can be? I could hardly grasp it long enough to pull it from the box. I finally got it firmly wrapped inside a terry cloth washrag and successfully removed it, and did use such to wash that imaginary Benji slobber out of my navel.

Tonight, I am too tired to daydream about anythin' includin' Acme Pipedream Kits. However, I can tell all of ya'll that I am now an official purveyor of fine Acme Products. I am the sole and exclusive distributor of those Pipedream Kits. All ya'll Roadrunner hunters send in your supply lists.

Did I not mention that I was tired? But, then again, I forgot to tell ya'll why I was thinkin' havin' people from Pixar readin' my blog was not so bad, didn't I? Well, mostly has to do with that book, the one none of ya'll seem to keen on knowin' 'bout. It might just be somethin' into which Pixar people could sink their teeth. But, ya'll ain't interested in that, are ya? Nope, all ya'll are concerned with is the report. Has the navel seen any action today? Did it come under fire from the enemy? Did it fire upon any enemies? Did it take prisoners? Is this line ever inane? I did say I was tired, didn't I? End of report.

Oh, by the way, there was no conscious omission in not choosin' someone as today's Stupidest Human of the Day™, I was just too busy to look around for one today and no one gave me any nominations for such either. As such, all humans were smart enough today so that no one was stupider than any other. That's my story and I am stickin' to it.

Posted by Tiger at May 25, 2004 11:28 PM