May 27, 2004

Keep an eye out for cunnin' foxes

Ya'll remember back on Sunday when I gave ya'll a link to the Official Listin' of Moron Classifications? Yeah, like an of ya'll ever read much of what I got to offer here, huh? It was funny, go read it. However that bein' said and done, I thought I might take the opportunity today to give ya The Official Moron Test:

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. How many outs are there in an inning?

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?

tells you to take one every half an hour

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
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9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?

11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?

13. What was the President's name in 1960?

The answers and scorin' are contained in the extended entry.

Here are the answers:

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
....Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
.....One (1). You can only be born once.

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
.....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.

4. How many outs are there in an inning?
.... Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
....No. He must be dead if it is his widow.

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
..... Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
..Two (2). You take two apples, therefore YOU have TWO apples.

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
......One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour has passed.

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
..... Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
...... None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.

11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
..... Meat ... that is self-explanatory.

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
...Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? Twelve. It's a dozen.

13. What was the President's name in 1960?
...Georgw W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.

So, how did we do?

13 correct.........GENIUS...you are good.
10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head.
7-9 correct........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average?
4-6 correct..........SLOW...pay attention to the questions!
1-3 correct..........IDIOT...what else can be said?
0 correct......CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON!

Posted by Tiger at May 27, 2004 11:35 AM
Comments

Only 12. I have no idea about baseball.....

Posted by: Ozguru at May 27, 2004 11:12 PM

Interesting but the test is fatally flawed. 8 of the given answers aren't necessarily correct:

3. Depends on what calendar you're using.

4. Depends on what game you're playing.

5. With the way they're mucking with marriage law now it's entirely possible that a gal could marry a dead guy.

7. Depends on whether the apples were mine in the first place. If they were then I've still got 3, just in different locations. If they were somebody else's then I've just got the two that I made a break with.

8. A tad over an hour, unless you disobey the doc's instructions or take zero time to actually take a pill.

9. Seventeen. Some are dead.

11. Depends on where he lives. In much of the world he wouldn't be weighing anything. In other parts of the globe he'd weigh the product he sells.

13. Depends. President of what?

Posted by: Jim at June 2, 2004 11:18 AM