July 09, 2004

July 9, 2004

How to tell you have a BAD Lawyer:

1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
6. A prison guard is shaving your head.
7. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
8. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."
9. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
10. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
11. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
12. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

Posted by Tiger at July 9, 2004 10:49 AM

I hope I never do any of those things! :)

Posted by: Lawren at July 9, 2004 04:14 PM

And to think I was hanging on to your details in case I needed a lawyer during my US trip :-) Fortunately none of the litigious individuals I met have decided to sue me (yet?).

Posted by: Ozguru at July 12, 2004 05:33 AM