August 20, 2004

So what the flyin' fish does it mean, anyway?

Well, this day begun with this message:

Your Friday, August 20, 2004 Horoscope, Taurus!

You will get locked in the middle of some passionate drama today, perhaps blocking your ability to think clearly about consequences. Focus on how a person normally in your position would handle the challenges.

It began with a bang, as ya can likely tell from last eve's Nightly Navel Gazin' Report™ which found its way to the forefront in the late innin's of my early mornin'. 'Member the discussion of the muddy red clay where the street in front of my house used to be? Well, I don't think I tol' ya 'bout the muddy boots and pants that I parked right beside my entry door after my tread across it on my way in last eve.

So, here I was a tad bit weary after a really bad night, had arisen jes' a bit late and faced a muddy pair of boots I was gonna have to put on my feet so as to get to court this mornin'. I just brazened across, and then worked in a large puddle, in the school parkin' lot where I have been forced to park, with a stick and a couple of yards of grass, to scrap as much of that mud off my boots as possible, before enterin' my car to drive the two or three blocks to the courthouse. I was timely enough. I had mud on my pants however, and still some mud on my boots.

Court went well, and I used my lunch hour to exchange a defective product at Wally World in our neighborin' town and dined on some sumptuous salad and a couple of pizza slices at CiCi's with my friend Matt. I returned to court awaitin' my turn to tell the judge stuff about why we should or should not keep an ol' case on the docket. I actually had one that had made the dismissal docket which was settled, but there was still some discussion goin' on in an attempt to get the paperwork in a form agreeable to all parties. I got it retained and the afternoon swept by. It was Friday, and I left an hour early. I came home hopin' the street had dried enough so that I could park in my own drive, but no such luck. 'Cause I had not wanted to carry the 20lb. dog food across that mud last night, I had to jes' throw my dogs a pitiful handful of some cat food that was given to me by someone as I left this mornin' on my mad dash to be at court on time. I was now gonna have to get some kibble across the muddy street in some manner on my return home.

I eyed the scene and saw that I could actually walk on a walk at the school for a 100 yards north to the street, use that intact asphalt street to traverse across to the other side, then walk back down 100 yards lots on that side to my house. Along with the 20 lb. bag of dog chow, I needed to transport my cup of Dr. Pepper, a video, my camera, and a box of dog biscuits . Thankfully, the dog biscuits were still in the plastic bag from Dollar General where I purchase most of my dogs' consumables. I easily slid the video and the camera into that bag and I could easily carry that bag with the same hand in which I held my cup after I had slung the bag of kibble on my other shoulder. Still, there was that 100 yard walk. That was a lot of stuff to transport over that distance. Then I thought about that Dollar General bag. I reopened my trunk to see if I had any more of those bags scattered about in there, which was, in my mind, a good bet. I easily located two polypropylene bags from a couple of pillows I bought when I was on that trip to Florida, whenever that was. I slid these bags over my boots and pants cuffs and tied them in place with a dog leash and the cord from the flash disk I carry 'round with my book's manuscript on it. Then usin' such as galoshes, I walked right through the mud and easily made it into my drive without gettin' a bit of mud on me from my efforts. Surprisin'ly, although I felt myself sink deeply into the mud as I crossed, the mud had not stuck as badly to the polypropylene bags as had attached itself to my boots durin' last night's crossin'. I think we can safely say that my horrorscope for today was right on the spot, huh?

The navel is still givin' me the cold shoulder for havin' neglected it durin' yesterday's visit to my brother's house. I can gladly state that, despite its juvenile snit, I have covered my responsibilities to the relationship and have safely protected it from the red clay mud on ever' street crossin' and have worked hard to keep it as cool as possible in the humid environment in which it found itself durin' most of today. End of report.

Posted by Tiger at August 20, 2004 11:59 PM