in my dreams. Heck, I ain't sure I am qualified to be the guy who carries the bucket. I was jes' thinkin' however, that if I was a judge, I could rename this column the Nightly Gavel Raisin' Report™. Kinda catchy, what? I went to the State Fair of Texas today. I saw a really fat pig and a whole lot of people. Some of 'em were fat. A whole lot of 'em were fat, and a whole lot of them seemed to be makin' pigs outta themselves, what with the variety of stuff they was crammin' in their mouths. Then again, it is the State Fair -- and I 'spose if there is a time and a place to make a pig outta oneself, the State Fair is the place to do it. I also saw some really purty quilts, but that is another story, altogether.
My navel is still in a snit and said if I didn't post a joke that was the cause of it havin' received a bit of second-hand pleasure from the associated belly laugh, I was not to even mention its existence in this report. Hard to post a Nightly Navel Gazin' Report if ya ain't allowed to mention the navel, right? So I relented. The joke is in the extended entry. There are some colorful words within the body of said joke. View at your own risk. End of report.
A Tennessee Mountain Woman went to the doctor who told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asked her husband,Posted by Tiger at October 2, 2004 11:18 PM"What is a specimen?"
He replied, " Danged if I know. Go next door and ask Edith, she's a nurse."
The woman went next door, came back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body.
"What in the world happened?" asked her husband.
"Danged if I know," she replied.
"I asked Edith what a specimen was and she told me to go piss in a bottle, I told her to go fart in a jug and then all hell broke loose."