November 14, 2004

Whatever happened to Love & Marriage?

OK, here's a SPAM header that caught my eye as I scrolled down the Junk box in one of my hotmail accounts:

jessamyn ARE MY NIPPLES WEIRD? Nov 13 2KB
I didn't open it, of course, 'cause how would I know if her nipples were weird anyway? I mean, even if I thought they looked a bit weird, that is only the opinion of someone who really doesn't give a crap about how anyone's nipples look anyway. I am into navels, 'member? ;) 'Sides, seems to me the only way to really examine them would be in person, not by lookin' at pictures of such on the Internet. They might not even be real - - the pictures, I mean. I 'spect a lot of what they offer you to see is the result of a lot of photoshoppin', either that, or the world is full of a lot of skanky p**ckteasers tryin' to pull a buck or two out of some guy's pocket jes' for showin' him a bit of flesh. Actually, from the proliferation of tittie bars within the City of Dallas, I 'spect there are enough of the latter within that area, alone, to supply the needs of ever' porn site on the Internet.

In another SPAM header:

Crazy Millionaire I want to teach you 'Hot to get $20,000 i... Nov 13 106KB
Like I am gonna trust some guy claimin' to be a millionaire who can't even spell a simple word like HOW right in the header of his offer to assist me in also becomin' a millionaire. I passed on this one too.

Now, lest you think I actually spend that much time with all this SPAM, I admit I do scroll the headers before hittin' the dump key jes' to make sure that somethin' I really wanted wasn't in the mix. The ones I mention here are only the ones that caught my eye long enough to actually read and reflect upon the header. This next one, however, was almos' enough to coax me to open it:

America_ Dream :Living&America Dream (DV-Visa-GreenCard... Nov 13 8KB
I ain't quite sure what DV is, but a place that provides both a Visa and a GreenCard sounds like too good a deal to pass upon. Oh wait, when they said Visa, they weren't talkin' credit card, were they? Well, heck, guess I'll pass on that one too. OK, here we go -- flushed all 51 of 'em.

Posted by Tiger at November 14, 2004 10:58 AM | TrackBack
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