November 21, 2004

A cornucopia of Sunday mornin' inanity

cornucopia.jpgHey! Next This is the start of T'day week, and already we are findin' those who are railin' 'gainst the commercial outlets who eagerly dismiss any effort to reference such event so as to begin to busily festoon their stores, if not yet properly so festooned, with Yuletide fare. My friends, all the rantin' and ravin' in the world ain't gonna bring such untimely efforts to a halt. Nope, long ago, the leaders of all the major American businesses met clandestinely in an location very near the place where Jimmy Hoffa's body is buried. It was decreed that it was good for America that they each seize ever' opportunity to increase sales durin' the largest sales period of the year. By the way, do ya get to be a journalist jes' by sayin' you're one?

For those of ya'll that wonder 'bout things, thanks to this mornin's highly successful efforts, I am no longer full of it, at least in the literal sense. I am still quite eager to receive the feedback I requested here, however, and have vowed to go postal at the end of the day if I don't see a plethora of commentary, one way or the other.

Seems that Bush went Bubba in Chile. Gangstas in south central LA immediately issued a challenge for said Prez to come try to flex a bit of muscle in their neighborhood. Micheal Moore has tentatively agreed to film the rumble.

In a feeble attempt to dull the pain of his otherwise worthless life, some junkie in Canada got 30 days for legibly forgin' a script. When the pharmacist found he was able to actually read the writin', he alerted the Mounties. At sentencin', the judge tol' the ignorant junkie to practice scribblin'. It mus be a pretty slow news day when Kevin Aylward starts prowlin' FARK for stories. ;) I can do that. Emoticons in posts have been officially OK'd by Buzz. Speakin' of checkin' FARK for stories, did anyone see this: Yahoo! News - Man cuts off thieving teens' penises?

[Addendum: Have I uncovered evidence that some FARKin' is goin' on over on Dean's World with Joe Gandleman?]

In other news, quite sad news, to be precise, it has been reported that our ol' friend, Intelligence Bill, has died.

Opus will be reviewed at some later point in the day. I got an urgent errand to run. I got a late night call from Fry's last eve and it seems that my laptop has finally been repaired and now I gotta make a costly trip into the city in order to retrieve my property. I figger, as long as I am near the mall, I might as well get an early start to my Christmas shoppin', or lack thereof. I'll likely spend a few minutes lookin' at a bunch of crap and thinkin' that I really ought to buy such for someone I know, like you. Don't be holdin' your breath in anticipation of that happenin', however. Nope! Bah Humbug, I say! Jes' go back to eatin your foul fowl and leave me alone!

Posted by Tiger at November 21, 2004 10:35 AM
Comments

Frys exists in Texas as well? I couldn't believe my first trip to Frys - I need to blog that experience some time - it was like a garden warehouse but full of computers....

Posted by: Ozguru at November 22, 2004 02:28 AM

So what does it take to be allowed to call oneself a journalist?

Posted by: Andrew Phelps at November 25, 2004 12:55 AM

From Mirriam-Webster Online:

Main Entry: jour·nal·ist
Pronunciation: -n&l-ist
Function: noun
1 a : a person engaged in journalism; especially : a writer or editor for a news medium b : a writer who aims at a mass audience
2 : a person who keeps a journal
OK, OK, I give up. Although my blog could easily be considered as a journal due to my daily publication of the diary-like Nightly Navel Gazin' Report™, I have never actually considered myself to be a journalist, in the proper sense of such term. However, given the foregoin' definition of the word, it does appear that I do have the right to call myself a journalist, whether this be deemed a journal or not, simple 'cause I write with the intent that my crap be read by a mass audience. O' course, since I have yet to have been read by a mass audience, by my personal definition of what constitutes a mass audience, I 'spose that I should truthfully label myself as a failed journalist, right? However, on the other hand, as I am likely gonna soon have book in publication that I am hopeful will be well received by an excessively massive audience, won't that make me a best-sellin' author?

So, in all truthfulness, should I ever feel like callin' myself a journalist, I would do so, thusly: Tig - Journalist, in the most generic sense of the term.

And, by the way, Andrew, I actually meant no offense to you by my comment -- it was jes' a snarky observation. ;)

Posted by: Tig at November 25, 2004 10:02 AM

Tig,

Heh. My use of "journalist" does include the meaning having to do with keeping a journal, but that's only a small part of it.

I fit both of Merriam-Webster's definitions. Being published/broadcast in five or six publications (more than once) with mass audiences, as well as being paid, is enough for me to consider myself a journalist. Besides, it is the field I am immersed in, contribute to, and follow closely.

Posted by: Andrew Phelps at November 25, 2004 10:50 AM

I actually did look signs of such on your site prior to formulatin' my snarky comment. I jes' missed any clues 'bout such ya might have left. ;)

Posted by: Tiger at November 25, 2004 11:22 AM