November 30, 2004

If this is Tuesday, then I survived the night

Well [artesian if ya really must know*], it is a brand new day filled to the brim with unknown new opportunities and the same ol' problems. Wouldn't ya think that someone whose profession is to continually deal with other people's problems would be properly equipped in dealin' with his own problems? Were ya aware, as well, that my profession also has, by a large margin, the highest suicide rate among professions? Why is that, do ya wonder? I could actually write volumes on it, very borin' volumes that you wouldn't want to read, wouldn't read, and I wouldn't blame ya for not readin' 'em.

No siree, on this fine bright, frigidly cold day, I ain't wantin' to dwell on those dark matters which so often come 'round to utterly suck the life out of me. ~why did I suddenly think of her?**~ I'd much rather think of those unknown opportunities, although I do wish that I knew what they were gonna be. I'd like to prepare to meet them. That way I could be ready to put my best foot forward, which would be my left one, as, for some reason, that boot always seems shinier. O' course, on the other hand, or is it foot, if the opportunity turned out to be givin' some worthy individual a good butt kickin', my best foot would necessarily be the right one. And, should the opportunity be somethin' involvin' a big pile of money, I 'spose either boot could carry as much of it as I could need. Speakin' of opportunity, does anyone really know what time it is? Ain't that highly dependent 'pon where ya live? I have a sneakin' 'spicion that is really a problem if ya live in Chicago or is in or ever was in a band by that name. So why don't ya jes' go put that in your Funk & Wagnell's and smoke it. Oh, George, is that ever' from the time a'fore most of ya'll was born. I'll jes' sit down and shut up now!


*Somewhere close to 12 out of ever' 10 people will turn at this point and run away, screamin' to themselves: What in the everlovin' flickity-flack is this guy talkin' 'bout?

**Names are not important here. She'll know who she is.

Posted by Tiger at November 30, 2004 09:51 AM