December 03, 2004

Extra! Extra! Another athlete accused of steroid use

Look, this jes' has to be said. Ya'll need to quit gettin' up in arms 'bout all this supposed steroid use 'mong athletes. Don't ya all know they will be replaced by robots, possibly as soon as the end of the decade? I mean, seriously, look at the recent trend: factories swap human workers for robotics, movie makers replace actors with CGI created characters, retail outlets replace clerks with self-checkout lanes, and ya think as soon as they do find an android that can consistently hit over .400 and bang out 100 HRs a season, Steinbrenner won't find a way to get one of 'em on the Yankees roster? Steroids, schmeroids, at least they are flesh and blood. In the case of Bonds, even if the steroids make him stronger and able to hit the ball harder and farther, I don't think they really assist him in the actual effort of gettin' the bat head to collide with the ball. Hand-to-eye coordination is a gift of nature and experience. They ain't figgered out how to put that into handy injectable form.

[UPDATE: OK, so here is this story from today's Ft. Worth Star-Telegram. Jes' this one little paragraph shows a goodly percentage of Americans are already on board for usin' any variety of chemicals in order to improve their health, mental condition and what-not:

More than 40 percent of the population is taking at least one prescription drug, and one person in every six takes three or more, the government reported Thursday.
Seems to me that even our public school officials feel it is necessary to medicate ever' unruly child, these days.

I say, jes' raise the bar to a new level. If ya wanna be a sports hero, ya gotta take performance enhancin' drugs. If ya don't wanna take performance enhancin' drugs, then stay outta the pros. Heck, seems to me that all the money and fame in the world is not worth the shortenin' of one's lifespan from the internal damage to your liver and kidneys that rampant steroid use causes. But there are always those that think it won't happen to them. By the way, whatever happened to Mark McGwire? Is he dead yet?]

Extra special, newly-designed robotic spork polisher awarded to Steven for the pointer.

Posted by Tiger at December 3, 2004 10:56 AM
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