Well, too bad I had to quit college--Might have been a great writer--maybe a poet. You see, unlike my half-sister Moolissa, I have intelligince.
To show you, I'm gonna rewrite "'Twas the Night Before ______mas" to reflect modern thought.
'Twas the night before RamaHanuKwanzMas, and all through the house
Not a critter was stirring--Ain't no man in my house!! [Durn it!}
When up on the rooftop there 'rose such a klatter
I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter.
And what to my wandering eyes shud appear
But a fat man with a sleigh with 9 FEMALE reindeer.
Yes, he talked to them often and called them by name.
(You could hardly expect such a man to be sane.)
All had girl names 'cept the strange leader deer
Who needed a nose job (or drank too much beer).
The other deer taunted and called her some names
I didn't hear all, but they refused to play games.
To humor this deer who thought she was a guy
The fat man let her lead these deer who can fly.
And instead of Gretchen, Berniece or Hermiane
She's known now as Rudolph, with nose that is shiney.
"On Daisy, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen!
"On Connie and Cupie and Donna and Susan!"
And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
"Happy RamaHanuKwanzMas to all, and to all a good night!"