December 31, 2004

Days of Old Lang Zine

I hate to admit it, but when I was a kid, there were some songs that I used to sing and always wondered just 'zactly what they meant--such as "Auld Lang Syne", for instance. Always thought they were singin' about some guy named "Old Lang Zine"--ya know, kinda like "Old Mack Donald"--and never had a clue what it was about.

It was the same with "Silent Night." I use'ta think that a "virgin" was like a green pasture where they found the mother and child in the manger.

I always did think that "Lang Zine" was a funny name, but then I've heard some stranger ones since then. We use'ta travel a lot when I was growin' up. My family often tagged along on my dad's business trips. Sometimes we had to wait all day in a motel room with not much to do, so I would read phone books. There were two names that I never will forget [I hope they're not yores if yore readin' this]--Cozy Quaddlebaum and Chile Puddaphat--both in the same town!

Even stranger were some of the names that I heard when I worked for the Welfare Department. For example, one lady [??] named her first child "Syphillis" [She pronounced it Si-fil'-is], a name that she found on one of


the papers a doctor gave when she was leavin' the hospital. The next year she came in with her second child named "Gonneria"--said she couldn't quite remember how it was spelt but it was on that same paper where she found "Syphillis."

The there was the woman whose three sons were named "Elmer, Jr.," " Elmo, and "Elmore" and the one who named her four daughters "Krystle", "Kristine," "Kristina", and "Kristin."

It's no wonder that when we heard this joke, we thought it was a true story.

A woman was in a serious automobile accident, and was unconsious when her twins were delivered. When she awoke, her brother came to visit and told her that she had had a boy and a girl, and that he had been asked to name them.

Knowing her brother, she took a deep breath, dreading to hear what he had named them.

"Well, I named the girl Denise," he said.

"That's a nice name, what did you name my son?"

"D'Nephew, of course."

Posted by Moona at December 31, 2004 09:00 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Rumor has it that former Heavyweight Champion and current promoter of an electric fatless grill, George Foreman, named ever'one of his seven children, George.

Posted by: Tig at December 31, 2004 11:26 AM

I think I once dated her daughter, Herpes.

Posted by: Mr. Ed at December 31, 2004 11:33 AM