January 02, 2005

Polka-dotted pantaloons & a second layer of skin with a drop seat


****SPECIAL READ MY LIPS ANNOUNCEMENT****
feel free to read and comment 'pon 2014
****SPECIAL READ MY LIPS ANNOUNCEMENT****

Ya ever noticed how fashionable is it used to be to go out actually wearin' more undergarments than most people currently have in their top drawer at any one time? What with hoops, corsets, pantaloons, bloomers, garters, leggin's and the like, why'd anyone invent a chastity belt? It'd take all night jes' to get naked enough to do anythin' with all them garments to get through. People of that age had servants to assist them with dressin' and undressin'.

'Course, then there is always them shots in the westerns where people seem to be bathin', once in a blue moon, whether necessary or not, while still encased in their long handled underwear, drop seat properly buttoned, thank ya very much. It was as if they had decided it was a good idea to wash themselves and their underwear at the same time. That's a pretty handy trick to 'member, ya'll bachelor guys. Bathe! Wash your underwear. Do it at the same time if necessary, but do it --- often!

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the United States Department of Navel Observations, North Central Texas Division, batteries not included. For an edited transcript of these proceedings, suitable for framin', please send a SASE, along with 15¢ Canadian, no pennies, no stamps, to Burrell, Shoe Box 1262, Newark, Illinois 55501.* End of report.

[Addendum: I forgot to tell ya'll 'bout my idea for a good comedy skit. Extreme Home Makeovers project: Oscar the Grouch. Send him away to Disney World for a week while they redo his beat up ol' trash can into a shiny stainless steel dipsy dumpster. Oscar's reaction: quite grouchy and thoroughly unimpressed. That's all. End of Addendum.]

*Uh, don't send stuff to this address. It's all a joke, ya'll.

Posted by Tiger at January 2, 2005 09:43 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Hint--If you wash yore undies in the river, be shore it ain't the RED RIVER.

Posted by: Heloise Hinte at January 3, 2005 11:20 AM

People of that age had servants to assist them

So who dressed the servants? Or is that why there were so many stories about the upper class consorting with the lower class - they were easier to undress?

Posted by: Ozguru at January 3, 2005 04:53 PM