January 05, 2005

Chicken Soup for the Common Cold

So whatta ya think? Does a big hot bowl of Dollar Store two-fer-a-buck chicken noodle soup that ya are gonna have to go out in freezin' weather to get really all the much better for ya than say heatin' up some of Emperor Ramen's Magical Manna™ ya have already on hand when ya are down for the count with a really bad cold? Well, ponderin' the complexities of the foregoin', I did venture out and dined 'pon a Sonic-sized™ order of tots sprinkled with chili juice and watery cheese sauce.

I also stopped by Dollar General, the closest thing we have to WallyWorld in this tiny burg, after my meal 'cause I noticed the oil light come on in my monstrous, gas-guzzlin', oil-burnin' and leakin', ancient appearin' ('93) Champagne-colored Lincoln Town Car.* That is usually a sign that I need to get some oil. It needs an oil change soon and may soon be up for an engine overhaul unless my luck changes a bit. I'd like to purchase a Cooper Mini or another 87-92 LX 5.0 hopefully non-red Mustang Convertible in top condition.

To get back to the Dollar store ... as I went to pick up the two bottles of oil I needed, I sorta circled the store hopin' to find one of those hot oil radiators for sale. There were none to be seen, which I had already 'spected prior to lookin' 'round for such. Those radiators seemed to disappear quickly in the three days between the first day I saw them, when I happened to be jes' a bit short on cash, and the next time I stopped in. None had been delivered subsequently, I was informed. I guess I'll put that on my lookout list for when I can hopefully drop by Walmart tomorrow after court is over.

I also neglected to pick up any two-fer-a-dollar cans of chicken noodle soup while at Dollar General. That slight neglect crossed my mind after I got home. Additionally, I wondered if I should have also picked up some mentholated rub to apply on my chest so to assist my breathin' after I fall asleep. I quickly, however, recollected why I no longer ever purchase any of that mentholated rub. That crap is jes' too difficult to wash off completely from your hands. On more than one occasion, I can 'member 'speriencin' the excruciatin'ly painful searin' of my delicate optic tissue 'pon innocently and groggily knucklin' the corners of a weary eyes followin' a supposedly thorough washin' of my hands after havin' used some of that stuff on previous occasions.

I also remember somethin' 'bout gettin' plenty of rest. I felt I did a thorough job in accomplishin' that prong of the cold recovery formula today as I spent most of today either drinkin' Dr. Pepper or catnappin' as noise from the TV was fillin' the background, often while fully reclined on the sofa or my bed and I am promptly headin' back for the rematch. My navel is urgin' me bed-ward, wantin' to avoid any more encounters with the sofa. An earlier encounter with the cord of a couch cushion seems to have left an indelible mark on its psyche. Ponder that point with a healthy servin' of Emperor Ramen's Magical Manna™ and get back to me on it. End of report.

OTBTJTB™ Why? jes' 'cause.

*Did I ever tell ya'll that I figgered out the reason so many underworld characters seem drive Lincoln Town Cars is 'cause ya can actually fit three dead bodies inside the trunk of one. The trunk of my car smells like one or two of those carcasses musta rode 'round for a couple of hot summer days 'fore the right ditch or swamp or construction site to dump the body (or bodies, as the case may be) was found. The rank aroma is ghastly and nauseatin'. It grew so bad that I threw a skunk in the trunk and drove 'round with is rattlin' 'round back there for a few days in hopes the trunk linin' would absorb enough of of its spray to mask the stench of death that emanated from within the depths of that massive trunk. My plan only succeeded in pissin' off a skunk. Sorry skunk. Sorry PETA. [not!]**

**The only thing close to truthful in the previous footnote is the fact that ya really could likely fit 3 dead bodies into the trunk of a Lincoln Town Car. The rest, of course, is from within my imagination.

Posted by Tiger at January 5, 2005 08:15 PM | TrackBack
Comments

There are a couple of those air-freshner things that might work. The ones I have tried were Glen-20 and some Amway thing. In both cases it cleared out the smell caused by storing rubber boots (galoshes?) that were extremely sweaty (from mowing the grass) in the boot of the car.

Posted by: Ozguru at January 10, 2005 12:22 AM

BTW - I have nbo idea what a Lincoln Town Car looks like :-)

Posted by: Ozguru at January 10, 2005 12:23 AM