Read My Lips - the blog

A desperate tale of salty times

I was once sailing smoothly along on the ship of life when I somehow slipped and fell overboard. The next thing I knew, I was swimming in a sea of sorrow or dog-paddling, so-to-speak, in deep sh*t. How thankful I was that someone quickly threw me a Lifesaver® that I did not even care that it was a Spearmint Lifesaver®. Ironically, you see, I positively abhor the flavor of spearmint. I have often supposed that it had simply been enough that someone actually cared enough to throw anything to distract me from riding downward on the swirling undertow in my ocean of despair. I soon found myself again encircled by sharks, and, once surrounded by such circle of friends, I quickly found my sea legs once again.

I have, lately, again begun to see the sea gulls circling overhead and the water has already climbed up to my navel. If you see the water around me start to swirl, please don't flush again. I appreciate your attention to these minor details. Please be sure to read the original story that I penned earlier today. I think you'll really enjoy it. End of report.