Read My Lips - the blog

Beware! Bargains Ahead Afoot

On Sunday afternoon, my son and I decided to visit my daughter, who lives in the metropolis ninety miles away from the rural area where we reside. Soon after our arrival, my daughter decided that she wanted to go shoe-shopping. Of course, my son and my daughter's boyfriend were thrilled with the idea, especially considering that they had been looking forward to watching the Super Bowl that evening. Thinking that a cup of her favorite designer coffee might take her mind off shopping long enough that the mega-mall's closing time would be too near to make the trip worthwhile, we all walked to the neighborhood coffeehouse to sip the exquisitely overpriced java.

However, her plans were not daunted, for she knew of a wonderful discount shoe warehouse in a strip in close enough proximity that we still had enough time for the excursion. After we arrived at the huge store, the three of them browsed in the designer shoe aisle while I headed for the bargain racks at the back of the store. After all, since this was a discount shoe warehouse, a sale here should be quite a deal. However, finding nothing which suited my budget, I caught up with my crew in time to see my daughter's boyfriend pick up a shoe.

Obviously thinking that it was the ugliest shoe he had ever seen, he handed it to her and said, "How about this one?"

Seeing the designer label conspicuously lettered on the shoe, she exclaimed, "Oh, those are really nice!" But her expression changed as she looked at the price on the box. "But they're four ninety-nine," she said.

"$4.99--Why so cheap?" her boyfriend asked, puzzled at why that would bother her.

"No, they're not $4.99--They're four hundred ninety-nine dollars."

We can only surmise what makes these shoes so valuable. For once, I was right there with my son and my daughter's boyfriend, as we considered what might set these shoes apart from everyday footwear.

• Maybe they massage your feet as you walk.
• Maybe they will take you home if you click your heels together.
• Maybe they have a radar detector that causes your heavy foot to let up on the gas pedal of your car if a police car is nearby.
• Maybe they will unlock you car or your house if you lose your keys.
• Or perhaps they increase your metabolism with every step you take so that you never gain weight.

After visiting still another store in the strip mall, staying until it was ready to close, we then headed for a local Italian establishment which had educational restrooms. I can now say "Excuse me" in Italian. It sounded sort of like "Skoozie" if I remember correctly. None of the other phrases appeared to be useful in my locality, and I promptly forgot them.

Posted by Susan R at February 7, 2005 02:56 AM