Read My Lips - the blog

I snatched a veiled conclusion out of thin air

While it was being so quiet, of late, my navel was hatching an egg of some type. In its own immutable way, during my regularly scheduled gazing adventure, it disclosed the plot to a new sit-com it had developed and was planning to pitch to CBS. The current working title is "I Love Juicy." It's the story of a Cuban nightclub performer in Miami and her Puerto Rican husband, Miguel "Mickey" Mercado," an out-of-work drug runner who runs an exclusive Jewish delicatessen out on the back of a '72 Ford Pinto. Joining in on the televised festivities will be close neighbors and friends, Burt and Ernest Hertz, whose marriage is only recognized in Massachusetts. My navel has put a lot of thought into this show and I was very impressed with the script for the pilot episode. The part where Juicy walks in on a naked Ernest performing the Heimlich maneuver on her naked husband was pure genius. I guess it's safe to say that I am quite proud of my navel and hope that you are impressed, as well.

On the other hand, if my navel is going to be going behind my back and using portions of my own brain, I prefer that it'd, at least, be going into the empty parts. Its newly created sit-com is now housed where I used to store my recipes. I'd had long envisioned a time when I might grow famous by changing my name to Amos and marketing bags of delicious cookies produced from recipes I'd secretly stolen from Betty Crocker's grandmother. Well, never you mind about any of that because that plan is really out the window now. It did really have potential, though, didn't it? Drats! End of report.