Read My Lips - the blog

The Report that was not there

Oh my oh my. What time is it? Did I ever stay out too late last night!! Having had three drinks over four hours and as well having eaten half a plate of cheese-fries, I left the party a bit after midnight. It was a really dreary long 90-minute drive back to the house. Traffic was light and the raceway was open. I just fell in line with the high-speed convoy that traversed southward on the North Dallas Tollway, then worked my way through the maze of dead downtown Dallas so as to miss the mix-master. South Dallas was dead.

After I passed through the no-man's-land parts of Southwest Dallas and the lack of convenient stops along Hwy. 67, I finally made a stop Love's in Midlothian. All I needed was to fill my cup with fresh DP, as well as disposing of the remains of the last cup in the appropriate manner. It really is hard to find a good place to relieve oneself right along the side of the road anymore, especially in the urban areas. What might have been a very routine incident got a bit hairy when I was leaving, as I had parked very near two motorcycles. I am acquainted enough with enough middle-aged biker club members to know when I see the real thing. The two guys that were tinkering with their saddle bags were not your average weekend riders. Bandidos.

Anyway, being the savvy Texas sodbuster I am, I knew enough to keep my head down and to avoid eye contact with those modern outlaws. Like three little monkeys rolled into one, I see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

By the time I rolled in here --- all I was looking for was a tub of hot water in which to soak for a half hour before climbing into a freshly made bed. What I found was the same bed I had crawled out of the previous morning, musty and disheveled. I was too weary to do anything other than to crawl bleary-eyed beneath those two layers of goosedown* to hibernate. And hibernate I did.

Yep, I forgot all about making the Nightly Navel Gazin' Report™ last eve, although that live broadcast I did from the party could have served well as such, if my navel had been allowed to come to the party. You see, it was pouting on the day I decided to RSVP for the party and did not respond if I ask if it wanted to come along for the ride. As such, I did not include it. Not being on the guest list, it was not allowed in the door. I had to leave my navel hidden within a potted plant while I attended the blogger bash. And if you'll buy that ... yada yada .. I'm out.** End of report.

*As spring is officially approaching, I am hopeful one layer can be removed and stored for several months to come.

**Meaning I out of here not I am out of the closet.***

***Which in no way infers that I am in the closet.****

****Of course, that might be exactly where I left that hat for which I have been searching***** all day.

*****Remind me to tell you how I once found my eyeglasses in the freezer.

Posted by Tiger at March 19, 2005 04:04 PM | TrackBack