Sometimes I forget it is Friday. That explains why I forgot the carry the garbage cans to the curb. I 'm just glad I also failed to realize today was the 13th ... otherwise I wouldn't have walked under that ladder while that black cat crossed my path to come into the house and open my umbrella. I learned, though, why my momma always told me it was bad luck to open an umbrella in the house -- it brushed some items on a nearby table as it opened, one of which fell off and was broken: a mirror. Oh, you want the joke? OK:
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.Posted by Tiger at January 13, 2006 07:05 PM | TrackBackWhen the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents, as well as the family cow, dead and decided to go down to the river to drown himself. At the river, he encountered a mermaid sitting upon the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. Have sex with me five times in a row and I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but failed to satisfy her on his fifth attempt. The mermaid swiftly drowned him in the river.
Next, the second oldest son woke up and, after discovering what had happened, also decided to throw himself into the river. Meeting the same mermaid, he heard, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid. He, too, was drowned in the river.
The youngest son woke up and discovered his dead parents, the dead cow in the field, and that his brothers had disappeared. He, as well, decided that life was a hopeless prospect and went to the river to throw himself in. As had his two brothers, the lad met the mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?" The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request.
Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he continued, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough Already! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."
"It's a deal, then," replied the young man. "Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Don't die on me in the throes of passion like that old cow did!"