Read My Lips - the blog

Apr.21, 2006

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi met two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, an eavesdropping cafe patron overheard their conversation. "Preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear."

None of them willing to admit that anything was impossible, they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, after the Pentecostal preacher and the Rabbi failed to show up at the coffee shop twice, the priest did some calling and found that both of them were in the local hospital.

Father Flannery, his arm in a sling and walking on crutches, first visited the Pentecostal preacher. "My," he exclaimed, "I thought I had problems until I learned that the two of you were in the hospital! When I found my bear, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation. What about you? Did you convert your bear?"

Reverend Billy Bob did not look too well. He had an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. However, he would not be outdone. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL. brother, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just as you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising JESUS!"

The priest told the Pentecostal preacher that the rabbi was down the hall in the same hospital. They called the nurse to bring a wheel chair, and together they went to visit the rabbi. They both looked down at him as he lay there in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

After they were in the room a few minutes, the rabbi spoke. "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."