Read My Lips - the blog

The frailties of being human

Yesterday was one of those days when everything I did seemed to result in injuring myself in some way. I had early court, so I awoke a bit earlier than is my norm, and I nicked myself shaving. Now I have been shaving for many years, and although I shave with disposable razors without any type of lubricating cream, I have likely nicked myself only three or four times in my entire shaving lifetime. I attributed the latest nick immediately to needing a fresh razor for my next shave.

My next stop was the store where I stop for my morning cup of Dublin* Dr. Pepper. I dropped my money on the floor as I attempted to remove it from my pocket and bumped my head on the counter coming up.

Off to court: 20 minute drive and thankfully no problems. I actually had no problems at court, either, unless you count the fact that the elevator was out so I had to climb stairs to reach the proper level and spent about 10 minutes.trying to catch my breath.

After court, I went to Staples to pick up a few office supplies. This was when I went through the exercise of testing several chairs in order to select my new home office chair. What I did not previously disclose was that the absolute first one I sat in had fallen over completely onto the floor with me in it when I was checking to see how far back I could lean. I felt a really sharp pain inside of my right knee. When I left the store after paying for my purchases, I was limping badly. I felt a tightening in my back when I put the chair in the trunk.

I then went to lunch, and was almost immediately knocked into the wall by this very large obese young lady who did not watch where she was going in her hurriedness to catch up to her departing friends.

I returned to the office, unloaded the supplies and my secretary asked if we could rearrange her workstation so that she could have a more comfortable keyboarding position from which to work. I remembered I had this fold down computer table in the storage closet that would easily replace a portion of her work area and could be used to provide a keyboarding station. Well, it slipped from my fingers as we carried it to her office and it fell across the top of my right foot.

Later, after we finally closed up for the day, I went home and took the chair out of the trunk of my car and carried it into the house. Thankfully, though my back was still tight, I did no further damage. I opened the box just inside the door and used the large expanse in the middle of the living room to assemble the chair. Although the box said use no knives, I did use the little Swiss Army knife I have to slice through the tape sealing the box, and then again to cut through some of the tape binding plastic bags over several of the parts. How and why I was still holding my little knife, still open, in my hand when I began putting the pieces of the chair together, I do not know. However, I was still holding it and I ended up stabbing myself in the inside of my left forearm. Luckily it was a small shallow cut, but it bled like I had sliced into a major artery.

I was not actually feeling like Captain Klutz yesterday. However, I am positive I finally found sufficient evidence to prove that our pathetically frail human bodies can sometimes be their own worst enemy.

*Dublin Dr. Pepper is produced by the Dr. Pepper Bottling Plant in Dublin, Texas which uses the original recipe, including the use of Imperial Pure Cane Sugar instead of corn syrup as is commonly used by every other bottler in the US.

Posted by Tiger at June 12, 2003 04:02 PM