March 17, 2004

The Night of the Livin' Dead*

Ya know, there are times when ya get off work so worn out that you mindless stumble homeward without a conscious thought in your head or any remembrance of how you got there once you arrive. But then you seem to liven up just as you hit the door, you change clothes, splash on some cologne and go out hobnobbin' with your peers at some local gin joint until such point as you blindly stumble home without a conscious thought in your head or any remembrance of how you actually got home when you wake up in the middle of the night passed out in a pool of your own vomit.

Of course, then you reach middle age where you go through step one of the foregoin' scenario, but you don't enliven when you hit your front door. You often find your self pickin' yourself up off the floor in the middle of the night layin' in a pool of your own drool. My forkin' feet hurt. Hard marble courthouse floors and hard concrete jail floors are not soft on the tootsies for some reason. Also, my eyes are droopy, or maybe drippy even,** it is hard to tell lookin' at them from the inside, ya know. I would love to stay up and tell ya all about how fresh and alert my navel is and maybe about how attention starved my penis continues to be,*** but I feel my King sized, not Cal King sized, bed with the non-fittin' fitted sheets atopped with that double layer of goose down that is soon losin' its value as the days grow warmer and soon the nights will follow. But alas, partin' is such sweet sorrow, or maybe ya'll are forkin' glad that I am gonna shut up for awhile. Heck, what do I know? I am just the night watchman.**** End of report.

*With my sincerest apologies to and greatest admiration for George Romero, who made the movie I dreamed of makin' while I was too young to make it and too stupid to know I wanted to make it.*****

**Heavens to Murgatroid! Exit stage left!

***Great George, let's don't go there tonight, please!

****I really don't have any idea about what that is all about ... it just popped out and I didn't have the heart to delete it. ttffn™

*****I am havin' a very hard time with this link ... can someone give me a hand with it?

Posted by notGeorge at March 17, 2004 10:08 AM