May 24, 2004
Mostly imperceptible to the human eye
Well, most of ya'll might have noticed that I tweaked the index and .css templates a bit here and there. Ya'll know me, always tryin' to keep my blog lookin' spiffier than anythin' in my real life. I 'spect if I put as much effort into findin' me a fine honey as I do tryin' to compose snarky posts on a regular enough basis to keep ya'll entertained, I would likely have Renée Zellweger hangin' off my arm at some exotic location, or some other such pipedream. No, ya gotta stick with what ya are middlin' decent at, if ya ain't good at nuthin'. 'Bout the only thing I am really good at doin' is lawyerin' but that only works where the law is fully in effect. The jury is still out on that question in our local arena, I 'spect. I hear both the good and bad 'bout most ever'thin' connected with the local courts and the people who ply their trades within those courts. As with most things, ya never know what to believe and what not to believe. As is my wont, as many of my regular readers know, I tend to be a skeptic, along the lines of a citizen of Missouri. If'n ya want me to be a 100% believer in what ya are pushin', ya gotta show me it is true.
OK, take a deep breath here. How did I ever get from I tweaked the templates to show me all of your evidence? Man, was that a scenic trip or what? I really enjoyed the part where Renée Zellweger was hangin' on my arm. And her hair smelled nice, really nice. Do what? It is my pipedream, here, Buster, and I can sniff Renée Zellweger's hair in my own pipedream if I so choose to do so. Now ya ruined it! Renée is nowhere to be found and I find Benji in my lap. He smells like a dog. Well, actually he kinda smells like a dog that has had a nasty encounter with a skunk.
Hey, ya'll attorneys in the audience, quick! Can ya sue an imaginary butt-head for ruinin' your pipedream? My gut feelin' is no, but heck, if the families of people crossin' the border illegally and endin' up dyin' in the desert from thirst can sue the US of A for failure to provide water fountains in the midst of such desert, I figure I might have a shot, right? And, I was havin' a really luscious, tropical pipedream starrin' jes' me and Renée Zellweger and poof, she is gone, and I am stuck with a stinky dog. That jes' clamors for litigation or action of some sort.
OK, now this is gettin' a bit bizarre. It seems that Benji from my pipedream is lickin' my navel. That is just yucky. I am now gonna have to go wash a bunch of imaginary dog slobber from my belly button. Are you supposed to use regular soap and water to do that, or do you use the imaginary soap and water that comes with the Acme Pipedream Kit? End of report.
Posted by Tiger at May 24, 2004 11:46 PM