Read My Lips - the blog

Can I trade you 4 diphthongs for that $50 multisyllabic word?

Well, I didn't do much work today. I wasn't plannin' on doin' any work today, as I had to take part in a Memorial Day service at our local senior citizen center just before noon, but as I pulled my car out of the drive this mornin', that beep that lets me know my tank is almost empty went off. Now I try to be a good local citizen and do as much shoppin' locally as possible, but gasoline is one thing that I usually go to the neighborin' town to buy. When the price difference is 10¢ to 12¢, you can save several dollars if your tank takes more than 15 gallons or so to fill. Of course, I drive back and forth to that town so many times a week, that usually it is just a stop at Walmart on my way home. I was in a hurry for some reason last time I came home and did not have time to stop. Knowin' I was gonna make the trip over, I remembered I had a couple of things I wanted to file with the District Clerk the next time I was goin' over, so I stopped by the office and picked up the files. I say I picked up the files. Actually, I forgot how I went back out to my car and had backed it out into the street and was ready to drive off before I noticed I did not have the files. Anyway, I had to back track and go unlock the door to go get them. That second try cost me a meetin' with a client, as I got caught just as I was comin' back out the door with the files in my hand. So, I spent a few minutes speakin' with my client, and then was finally on my way.

Whew, this is gonna be long, it seems. Well, anyway, I went and filed the papers, ran around the courthouse for a few minutes and joked with a few of the people that work there, then I went to one of my favorite places in the town to eat breakfast. Lo and behold, one of the members of our local Lion's Club was there as well. He was drinkin' coffee with some other old guys. I tell ya, it is a tradition in these country towns for old guys to gather together ever' mornin' to drink coffee. Ever'where I go, I see groups of old men sittin' 'round drinkin' coffee and talkin' 'bout the weather, whose land they are drillin' a gas well in, and how much the price of land has gone up over the last few years, as well as how much more taxes they have to pay. Well, after they left, he came and joined me and we conversed while I finished my breakfast. I didn't discuss my fears about what I was gonna do when I got old bein' as how I don't drink coffee.

He had actually formerly lived in that town and had a lot of old friends there, he said. He also told me somethin' I did not know. He said at some time in the past, near the turn of the past century, there had been a bad yellow fever epidemic in Galveston, and the Santa Fe Railroad had a trainload of infected people they were movin' from town to town tryin' to find some town willin' to accommodate these ailin' people. Well, our neighborin' town was the only town willin' to take all those people, he said. The railroad rewarded the town by creatin' their repair center there, and became the biggest employer in town. He said they paid really well and it assisted a lot of the townsfolk to get fairly wealthy. Well, I finished my breakfast and was already runnin' late, so I sped on off to Walmart, bought that shoppin' card that saves me an additional 3¢ a gallon, and filled up my tank. It still took over $30 to fill it. Unbelievable!

The ceremony went without a hitch, or at least no significant hitch that would have been noticed by a bunch of elderly people who were a bit miffed we had interrupted their domino games, and I came on home. I was hopeful that there were a lot of Carnival submissions in my hotmail inbox, but there were only a couple. Thus far, I have only gotten about 11. From what I am doin', it takes me a considerable amount of time so as to prepare each submission for publication. I am now beginnin' to fear that ever'one is gonna await the last moment and swamp me with submissions. I worked up the submissions I got, includin' one left over from last evenin' where the person used so many $50 words that I had wanted to reread his submission with a clear head just to make sure I understood what he was attemptin' to put across. I sometimes find entries on blogs like that. I personally have quite an extensive vocabulary. It is seldom that I get flabbergasted while readin' someone else's posts, but it does seem to me that there are like a lot of others who might find such efforts hard to understand. Is not the point of most of our blog postin' to communicate ideas to others? How are you gonna do that when your writin' is so far over their head that they have no clue as to what the heck you are tryin' to say? Jes' sumthin' to think about, I guess.

Anyway, no further submissions came in for the remainder of the day. I tried to watch a movie on one of those cheap DVDs I buy at Walmart from time to time. Sometimes it is quite evident why the DVD was so cheap. This movie is horrible. It has Peter Coyote and Danny Glover in it, but the dialog is idiotic, the actin' is horrible, and the story is like The Prisoner done by a 6 year old. The title is Deadly Drifter. Pass this one up, seriously. I mean the character does not know what is goin' on and you sure as heck don't. It is paused and I will likely get through it, or maybe I won't. I know it ain't gonna be tonight. I got zoo duty on the next two mornin's so I am gonna make it an early night tonight, provided I get this dang report finished soon.

My arm is startin' to hurt. Actually, it has been hurtin' for most of the day. I just got back from the store where I refilled my cup with Dr. Pepper and purchased a pint of mint-chocolate chip ice cream. I know ya'll Yankees think like Ben & Jerry's ice cream and crap like that is good, but there really ain't nuthin' better than good ol' Blue Bell. I promise ya that! So, anyway, just prior to that store run, I was just sittin' here thinkin' some Carnival submissions would soon come in, and while I was whilin' away that time, I redid my title graphic. I did it in Flash, as I had been plannin' to do for some time, but after I got to tinkerin', I actually decided that any animation would be distractive and there was no necessity to add loadin' time as well. I am pleased with my creation.

I wanted a mascot of some kind, but I searched for a cat with a pirate hat and a hook on its paw, as if. No, I already had someone else in mind. He is the one up there, but I ain't gonna tell ya who that is. I bet he looks familiar to some of ya'll, and the first correct guesser gets a handful of Kudos, or somethin'. I still have some plastic-ware in the prize basket as well as a stuffed raccoon. The raccoon is not a plush toy, but a really bad taxidermy job. The thing stinks. Actually, I just gave ya'll a load of bull. I ain't really got no stuffed raccoon in the prize basket. I don't even have any plastic-ware in there. In fact, I don't even have a prize basket. What I do have is a ton of Kudos. As far as I know, those are imaginary, and one thing I do have in abundance is imagination.

Well, that seems like enough utterly inane crap about me and my life for this report. Let's get to the navel, 'cause we all know that is what ya'll come here to read about. Well, it has been a hot and muggy day and the navel quickly became a moist and sticky lint magnet. I therefore have covered it with a lint free garment. Such makes it unobservable, but I can truthfully report that it is voicin' no complaints about its condition. I am unsure about the condition of little cherry mole, however. It has already shown a tendency to be a bit shy. End of report.

Posted by Tiger at May 28, 2004 11:17 PM