OK, since the book is finished, I need an outlet for my creativity. I thought I did a pretty good job on that last creation, I would try to see it from the other side:
I am -insert age- and [ own my own house / have my own place / have my own room / sleep on someone's couch / have a spacious box down under the Main Street bridge ]. My current mode of transportation is [ by limousine / in my own car / on my hawg / by bicycle / on the bus / hitching ]. My last [ wife / girl friend / old lady of other type ] dumped me because [ I lost my job and couldn't or wouldn't look for another / her ex got out of prison / she fell down the stairs and the cops made her get a restraining order / I could no longer deliver what she needed ]. I swing like [ an elephant / a horse / "size doesn't matter" ]