Read My Lips - the blog

Feb. 25, 2005

In the "I Wish I Had Said That" Dept.:

Fathers are men who give daughters away, to other men who aren't nearly good enough, so that they can have children that are smarter than anybody's.

and then, in the "I Guess You Really Had to Be There" Dept:

Four ministers often had theological arguments amongst themselves, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd pastor out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, Lord!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

It was a beautiful, sunny day but the moment the minister finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above them. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!"

But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the pastor prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, Lord, a bigger sign!"

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning came forth from the cloud and slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

"I told you I was right!" cried the minister, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The Pastor was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "YESSSS HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"

The minister put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well, there you have it?!"

"So what," shrugged one of the other pastors, "now it's 3 to 2."

Posted by Tiger at February 25, 2005 02:03 PM