November 24, 2004
OUCH, that hurts! I really mean it!
Snarky inane prolific writer sought for position as blogmate on this site.
Earlier today, I arose from my chair as I do often on a regular basis several times a day, when I heard a pop along one side of my lowest vertebrae followed immediately by another pop on the opposite side of that same vertebrae. I knew immediately that such spelled disaster for my holiday weekend. Throughout the day, my back has stiffened and is very painful. I tried to lay down earlier, but my mattress has been in a bad need of turnin' for several months, but I had not been able to successfully line up someone to assist me in flippin' that king-sized monstrosity. I went to the convenience store that I regularly haunt and the staff there, which sees me so often, could tell I was in distress. I explained the situation and one of the employees, a high school football player, agreed to come over to assist me with the mattress flippin' when he got off of work at 8:00 pm. When he had not shown by 8:30, I reluctantly took on the job single-handedly, and successfully wrestled that mattress off of the bed, then lifted the part that was on the floor until I could slide it up onto and over my body as I was laid back over the box springs. The turn was eventually completed and I remade the bed, usin' a completely brand new set of sheets I purchased several months ago. The single-handed mattress turnin' severely aggravated the trauma to my already achin' back. I doubt I'll be goin' any where for T'Day now. I might not even be able to get out of bed. I 'spect all the chiropractors will be takin' the day off, anyhow.
~insert French language lyrics from ancient Doris Day movie~ Although my navel is in the same general area as the injured vertebrae, it appears to be unaffected.
End of report.
Posted by Tiger at November 24, 2004 09:39 PM
You are taking on another writer?
Mattress turning I can do. Snarky inane prolific writing up to your standards - NBL*. In fact I don't think there is anyone up to your standard in the blogs I read :-)
[* Aussie for Not Very Likely except that Very is replaced with the Great Australian Adjective.]
Oh, there's a few 'mong the ones I read. ;) Maybe I need to rephrase it to read:
Seekin' prolific readers of snarky inane writin'
Now, mate, the
B wouldn't stand for
Bloomin', would it?
Well, I Bloody should have known that!
No, you bloody well shoulda known that.
Get the slang right and you can talk to anyone, even those who supposedly speak the same language...
P.S. One of the reasons I enjoy reading you is because you write in your local vernacular...
I like it on the rare occasions that OzGuru does the same.
(As long as I'm spamming your comments anyway...)
And one of the reasons I enjoy it is that you'd never use the term 'local vernacular' while talking in it. ;)