June 27, 2006

June 24, 2006

It's normally against our personal policy to post any Bush-bashing jokes, because we have too much respect for our current Commander-in-Chief; however, according to Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and David Letterman, any current sitting President is fair game to poke fun at. Therefore, in such spirit, we must bring you the following:

Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that three Brazilian solders were killed in Iraq. To everyone’s amazement all the color drained from Bush’s face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, “Just exactly how many is a brazillian?

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June 11, 2006

Mavs series lead increased to 2-0


Heat 85 at Mavericks 99

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June 11, 2006 (Watching Game 2 edition)

Heard this one by ear the other day:

It seems a man's mother had a stroke while he was out of town, and, upon his return he rushed down to the local hospital to check on his mother's condition.

"I've got some good news and some bad news," said the young doctor on call.

"Well, let me have the bad news," replied the young man.

"You're mother has lost the ability to speak," said the doctor.

That's not so bad," said the man.

"That's not all," continued the doctor. "She has lost use of her arms. She'll have to be fed and cared for."

"It'll be hard to get someone to stay while I'm away."

"Sure," continued the M.D. "And, since she lost the use of her legs, you'll have to arrange for special transportation, as well."

"You have to do what you have to do," I guess, the young man replied, his voice full of the concern he had with the foreseen changes to his finances and personal lifestyle.

"Sure," the doctor stated, "And, since she is now fully incontinent, you'll have to clean up after her, too."

Now fully chagrined by the circumstances, the young man finally asked, "Well, what was that good news?"

The doctor looked him in the eye and said, "Oh, it's that I was just now just pulling your leg. You're mother died."


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June 08, 2006

Chiming in a bit late


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Another of those weird thoughts that come to mind

What with recent movie events such as Freddy vs. Jason, and Alien vs. Predator, I am wondering if we should expect Rocky vs. Rambo to appear at one of our local theaters sometime in the very near future. Stallone vs. Stallone. It would have to be better than Judge Dredd.

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June 02, 2006

June 2, 2006

Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers club after work. One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m. We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six.

I offered to call home for Rick. When his wife answered the phone, I said, "Rick has been kidnapped. Put five dollars in small, unmarked bills in a plain brown paper bag and throw it in the door of the officers club." Then I hung up.

A short time later, a waiter brought a grocery bag to our table. In it were Rick's baseball glove, a tennis racket and a teddy bear. Attached to the bear was a note: "Rick can play kidnapped until 7 p.m. Then he must come home."

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