Read My Lips - the blog

July 29, 2005

I have to thank my Aunt 'Net for forwarding the following ditty to me:

Dear Diary:

Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed over a year ago, and I had yet to pay for them.... Boy oh boy, did we go around!! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I'm automatically stupid... I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year...that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up, and I haven't heard back...Guess I won that stupid argument....

July 29, 2005 - Round 2

Oh, just because I love you all --

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient and to fulfilled your purpose. I told you to be the spiritual leader in your family. Of all of you only one obeyed. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Sorry, I'm momentarily sweltering in sweat

I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies to all the people in Texas and in other places in the world who are suffering all this unbearably hot weather. I'll readily admit that I have absolutely no control over the situation nor feel any of the blame falls on my shoulders. I do, however, believe someone really ought to apologize. I am a big enough man to bear the brunt of that responsibility.

Thunderous applause from Down Under?

Unbelievably, OzGuru, who has read both, compares my book to Harry Potter and infers my efforts are more read-worthy. I like his way of thinking.

To update all of you who are eagerly awaiting the next installments of the Alien Attitudes trilogy, the first draft manuscript for Book Two is up to 118 pages and, time permitting, the words are flowing easily onto the electronic page.

Most accidents happen at home

I just slipped in the bathroom and took* a really nasty fall. As far as I can tell, I am not bleeding anywhere nor do I think anything is broken. However, my butt is cracked.

*I'd research how this particular euphemism came to be but I'm fixing to go somewhere right now.

The Death of the Daring Fly

Well, I have thankfully conquered my dragon and didn't even have to tilt windmills. For the past two or three days, there has been this really small fly that has caused me to slap my head more times than I have since I quit believing everything in the newspapers* was true. I was almost sure he was a superfly of some sort, like a performer for whatever vermin are likely sitting around my current rump roost.** He would fly back and forth, right in front of my eyes, then land on my nose just long enough for me to make a wave, then start a series of landings on my sweaty forehead and dart quickly away, causing the numerous head slaps. Following that foregoing ritual, it would then land on my hand, probably to chuckle about its great show of skill versus such a formidable foe as myself. This heroic little aeronaut's Waterloo turned out to be the non-variance of its routine. He died as a result of a well-timed swap with my trusty flyswatter. I'll give him his due, he was a crafty little fly.

*Especially that Weekly World News.***

**I am going to claim IP rights on that phrase until I find any predecessory use.****

***I still believe in the Bat Boy. He bit me on the leg once.

****Of course, if you want to do the research for me, feel free. I am such a procrastinator.

Have I lost my audience?

Well, what from being busy trying to get that book finally into print, running here and there trying to sell a copy of two, and then being sick as a dog for almost three weeks now, and busy as a beaver with my day job, I have been quite lax in my blogging duties. What, first I quit doing the Nightly Navel Gazin' Report™ for lack of any response, then dropped Eye on Opus™ because I got tired of lamenting how tired the strip is, and lastly ceased even putting the Friday Funny™. Well, I wouldn't blame ya for giving up on me, but I am still here. It'd be nice to know you are out there, too, so it'd be great if you'd drop a comment or two. And we thank ya for your support.

My Magnificent???? Obsession

As those of you who come by regularly know, I have recently published a book: Alien Attitudes: Alura Allen, Alien at Large, which is the first book of a planned trilogy. Just getting to this point has been a effort. I often wonder at the amount of time I have spent and the physical pain I have experienced just to get my story into good enough shape to share with the world.

I found, from my recent experiences at the Annual Roswell UFO Fest, that I am not alone in trying to market a self-published sci-fi/fantasy, nor am the only one who is promising there are still two future books to come before you'll get to the end of the story. As I stood in the middle of the floor at the Roswell Convention Center looking around at the dozen or so tables and the very small crowd walking around, I quickly caught a glimpse of my very own future. If, despite the great reviews I have continually received during the entire development process, I have failed to generate enough interest in my project to interest a publisher or literary agent, do I stand that much greater a chance of interesting enough of the public in my efforts to ever make this project successful? These sorts of questions plague me often, often causing me to lie awake at night when I should be peaceably dreaming.

I think back on that vision of all those proud authors sitting behind those tables stacked high with copies of their books. I remember there were two different fine looking gentlemen offering a very attractive first book of a proposed trilogy, and recall that both times I wondered if or when the trilogy would be completed. I have already begun to receive feedback from those who have purchased and read my own book and nearly all are asking for the second book already.

I, most thankfully, do not need to live off the profits from my book sales ... and, thankfully, with POD, do not have boxes and boxes of printed books stacked in my garage of which to dispose. As such, I see no urgent need to spend great portions of time promoting sales of this first book. I believe in this project and believe my time will be much better spent in getting the next two books into print as soon as possible.

My book is for sale on the internet in both printed and downloadable form. I also have a hundred copies or so on-hand for use in sending autographed copies to those who would like to request one. Cost for an autographed version is US$25.00, but includes delivery costs to those within the US. If you would like to order a copy, email me at roguegenius [at] gmail [dot] com.

It'd never have walked in my day

"A virus ate my homework." Our dogs took the blame when I was in school.

Despite the severe beating, the horse is not yet dead

Due to some feedback I received recently, I have added much more to the preview sample of Alien Attitudes: Alura Allen, Alien at Large. You can now read the first 75 pages, including the title and dedication pages, just by clicking here. It'll cost you nothing to download and read this small (428kb) .pdf file which can be easily read using the free and freely available Adobe® Acrobat Reader easily configured on your favored operating system.

The slap down from outer space

The body snatchers invaded my town. After a most thorough examination, they found my body to be unworthy of being inhabited.

Is the end of the agony anywhere near?

I don't think I have been as unproductive as lately since I had mono in college. It may be the medication or just my body's need in fighting the infection; either way, I have been sleeping almost all the time over these last few days. Thankfully, I do believe this last antibiotic is working and the abscess is shrinking. I have an appointment to have the tooth pulled on Tuesday. Getting the dentist to understand my decision to lose the tooth instead of paying a thousand or so in order to have the work done in order to save that one tooth was the hardest part of my efforts, so far. Of course, I am already prepared to feel a lot of pain when that tooth finally comes out. Hopefully, that will be the end of my problems until I can find a way to raise the money to do what needs to be done. I am going to have to sell a whole lot of books to reach that point. ;)

Who killed the tooth-fairy?

I developed an abscess this last weekend and went to see the dentist on Monday. Left with a basic script for antibiotics and codeine laced analgesics. Except for some severe nausea accompanying the codeine usage, little else changed, except the severity of my abscess developed. Medicated, in pain, or, as is most likely -- highly medicated and still in pain. To make the proverbial long story short: I have been less than my productive self this past week. At least that's my story this time around. It's real --- wanna send the tooth-fairy over my way?

It's starting slow, but I am still expecting BIG THINGS

I am unsure exactly what happened, but I climbed from way down at the bottom to 211 on the lulu.com ladder today. I think that is a good sign. So, show of hands, how many of you have already purchased a copy of my book?

By the way, did you see my first review:

In Alura Allen, Alien at Large, the first book of his Alien Attitudes trilogy, Terence A. (Tiger) Russell demonstrates his uncanny ability to spin a yarn, interspersing the shining filaments of originality with cleverly-woven threads from classic stories. A book which may be read on several different levels, it would doubtlessly appeal to both youthful and mature readers. Mr. Russell exhibits the ability to describe his unique characters in such a manner that the distinct personality of each comes to life for the reader.

As the main character, a spunky and independent-- though sometimes naïve-- teenage girl, interacts with her newly-found alien friends, even characters which would upon first impression be bizarre and incredible, actually become believable. Though it would seem impossible, even the unique character “R.J.,” whose appearance is no more than a blue flash of light, displays a range of emotions which engage the reader, as does another character, “Brink-o-link,” whose brain is floats atop a metal canister. Another major character in the book, a muscular, upright elephant-man, will surely win the hearts of readers from his first introduction, just as he drew Alura’s sympathy when she met him.

Moreover, the plot is full of action; as the book progresses, it becomes increasingly difficult to put down.

The book ends with some unanswered questions which leave the reader hungry for the second book of the trilogy. I, for one, can hardly wait for the second book’s publishing. I would encourage everyone to buy this book. - Evelyn Erskine*

*I am pretty sure this is a friend of Moona's but she won't confirm that fact.**

**She has sold twice as many as I have so far in the local area, as well.

Housecleaning and opening the door for the newcomers

I have sorely neglected my blogging here lately, concentrating more on promoting my book than anything else. Of course, over the last two-plus years, I have moved from trying to be a worldly news commentator to being a snarky inaniac™ to being a creative entertainer to being an author trying to get people to buy something fantastic.

I still want to urge you to buy a copy of my book. I can promise you that it is worth the money you have to pay to get your own copy and worth the time you'll spend reading it.

Now, for the reason I was writing this post. For some reason, I decided to do a bit of housecleaning in my main blogroll: 1) taking out all those Munuvians, as all are already listed in the Munuvian roll; 2) deleting all those blogs that have since gone defunct; and 3) axing any blog that has not been updated since 12/31/2004. I was sad to find so many great bloggers have gone on to greener pastures, thinking they had just moved to another location and I was too late to find the marker to tell me where to go. If you were on the roll and are no longer there, I apologize. There was no malice in my removal of anyone from the list.

Of course, having now removed a couple of dozen blogs from the roll, I would love to add a couple of dozen new ones to it. Here's the scoop. Leave a link in the comments telling me why you should be added to my blogroll. I'll check the blog of every such commenter, paying attention to the following details: how long you have been blogging, whether your posts are interesting; the topics upon which you post, and the type of blogging service you use. [All Munuvians are ineligible because they are already on the Munuvian roll, and, if you are a Texas blogger and do not currently appear on the Texas roll, you are entitled to a spot there upon request.]

Also, as I was going through the list, seeing who was still around, I found a couple of memes that I felt worthy of my participation and have included my returns on those in the extended entry.

Hmm, seems I have suspected this for a long long time:

You scored as Gunshot. Your death will be by gunshot, probably because you are some important person or whatever. Possibly a sniper, nice, quick, clean shot to the head. Just beautiful. Suicide 80% Gunshot 80% Disappear 67% Disease 60% Natural Causes 60% Bomb 53% Stabbed 47% Cut Throat 40% Poison 40% Eaten 33% Suffocated 33% Accident 20% Drowning 7% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

source

Your Daddy Is Darth Vader

What You Call Him: Pops Why You Love Him: He's the Mack Daddy

Who's Your Daddy?

There and back home again*

I have returned home from the Roswell UFO Fest safely and a lot less naive about what an uphill battle I have in getting Alien Attitudes: Alura Allen, Alien at Large atop the NYT Bestseller list. I encountered several other people at the event in similar circumstances.

I had gone to the event thinking it was the perfect crowd to start the ball rolling on publicizing my book, but found, instead, the crowd to be mostly conspiracy theorists, abductees, abductee wannabes, and the fringe crowd that surrounds such individuals. These were congregated in the same hotel where I stayed, as that was where the regular lecture series played during the festival. In a blocked off part of downtown, while live music was played on the stage in the background, were a few vendors selling food, t-shirts, alien merchandise of varying type, and the assorted what-know one expects to find at these small town events. In the Civic Center, they had several sci-fi authors set up to for book signings. Nowhere were the crowds anywhere near large and were so much smaller than what I had expected to see in attendance, that I was disappointed from the very first.

As such, I went on side trips to the nearby mountains and to Santa Fe. I did have fun and leaned a valuable lesson, as well. I am glad I went and glad I have come home again.

*The non-Bilbo Baggins authored version.

Despite the current hoopla, the world is currently safe

OK, I am firmly ensconced in my room and, as you can see, was successful in connecting to the Internet. I have been around for most of the day, having arrived in Roswell before lunch. The early crowd was small and I saw no aliens, other than the plethora of replicas to be found, especially in the UFO Museum. I did see one little guy that greatly resembled Gollum, but he did not take delight in my pointing such out.*

I am finding some interest in my book. Sales are still lagging, but then I have yet to perform the final step to have it listed so the major booksellers can sell it either over the net or in the bookstores.

I thought I was well prepared. Did happen to throw both a telephone cord and an Ethernet cord in the bag so as to be prepared for whatever kind of connection I found available. I somehow forgot to pack up the power cord. I am, therefore, limited to amount of power left in the battery. Currently I am still over 85% but the power drops quickly. I'll report again tomorrow.

*This is a joke. I saw no such person.**

**You'd be surprised what you can be forced to state when covered by a nasty looking ray gun.

I do have pictures and will post them some time soon ... if I remember. ;)