Read My Lips - the blog

Take a double dose

As there was not report for last night, I suppose you probably want to know about how my navel was when I finally got a chance to observe it last evening. It actualy had a red score right below it last evening, as I suppose sitting all day in the car wearing my belt had caused such to cut into my stomach a bit, and it left such sign. Thankfully, although my lower belly did suffer a bit from situation, the navel was not affected.

This evening, I see no sign of such scoring, which is puzzling in itself, as I was wearing the same belt again all day and spent the day sitting in the car driving as I did yesterday, and yet, there is absolutely no sign of such scoring on my lower belly. However, the belly button itself does seem to be open a bit more than usual, but I am almost sure that is because the belly seems to be a bit bigger than it was last time I checked. I guess having two very large meals over the last two days, as well as having consumed as much alcohol in the last two days as I have all the rest of the whole year put together may have caused it to swell a bit. However, that makes it even more curious about why the belt did not leave a score on it, doesn't it? And, with such remark, that ends this report for yesterday and today.

Well, I never

I usually allow almost any kinds of comments, as long as they have something to do with the post, to stay up for everyone to read. I believe everyone should have their say, even if they are asshats or are wearing tinfoil on their heads. However, I came back and saw someone had put links to a porn site, a penis enlargement pill selling site, and several other sites in a comment. I had no problem immediately deleting such comment. I really doubt anyone but I had seen it, though, as it was on the post I did to let you to update your link from http://fixitsoonihope/***-rant.html to http://fixitsoonihope/. Any such comments in the future will also be deleted and I will ban anyone who does such from my site.

I am home safe & sound

OK, I left here at approximately 11:00 am yesterday. Now after driving 813.0 miles over the last two days, I am safely home. Of course, you know I took a detour to stop by and see Denita, so it was about 10:00 pm last night when I hit Eagle Pass, Texas and stayed the night. It was a bit out of the way to go through Blanco, but I wanted to do so anyway, not only to have a chance to meet Denita, Eric and Zane, the cutey (and glad I came the day after the event Denita told on her blog), and when I looked at the map, I noticed Luckenbach, Texas for song fame was very near, that is why I decided also to go a bit out of my way going down to Mexico. Luckenbach is a hole in the road, actually you have to turn off of the road to see the town, as it is not on the main road anymore. Although it is a hole in the road town, it is really popular, or, at least, it was yesterday, because the town was filled with Cooper Minis. I thought Morris was the one that made them. Oh, well, who knows, maybe Cooper bought Morris out. Goes to show how much I was keeping up on that type of car. Anyway, I was really surprised how many were there. They seem to be pretty popular, and, I guess like everyone how own a Harley goes to Sturgis, SD, Luckenbach, TX on Labor Day Weekend must be the destination if you own a Cooper Mini. I just drove through, had a look at the crowd, most of whom seemed to have a longneck bottle of beer in their hand, then I headed to Fredricksburg, TX and had a nice German food dinner with a nice beer.

I walked up and down the street looking in the various shops, reading the menus of all the German food restaurants, and such for an hour or two, and as I watched everyone, I had an epiphany: Here I was, a single man, all by myself, and I went in and out of every shop and did not buy one single thing. In every couple I saw, the man would be standing outside a store holding several bags, usually, while the woman was inside the store looking around for something on which to spend money. I saw a couple of groups of women only and in such groups, every woman was carrying at least on item she had purchased. I am always having the women who own stores in this town always complaining that I never seem to come in and buy anything they have for sale, and I have always said it is because I already have too much stuff anyway. From now on, I am going to just tell them it is their fault because they have not found me a wife. I had forgotten that all of this crap I have too much of around here is because my wife loved to shop and buy crap for which we had no use. She died, of course, and now I have all this stuff for which I have no use. I just cannot see adding to it. Of course, if I had a new wife, I bet she would be eager to add more crap for which we would have no use to the existing crap we for which we have no use.

After I left Fredicksburg, I drove and drove through some beautiful country and finally ended up in Eagle Pass, as I mentioned. I passed several cheap motels, well not that many, as Eagle Pass didn't have a whole lot of motels, all of which either looked too scary to stay in overnight or had no vacancy signs flashing. I finally tried the Motel 6, which was not displaying any sign, and which was full, but at least the desk clerk told me the Holiday Inn Express still have some vacancies. $89 for f**king room. I watched a couple of hours of HBO (Mission Impossible) and went to sleep. I arose early this morning, ate a toasted and buttered English Muffin and had 6 ozs. of OJ in the breakfast room, then checked out and drove across the border to Peidra Niegras.

I saw about 20 Dentist Offices, but not much more. It was pouring down heavy rain and the streets were flooded. No one was out, so I just looped around the town, looked at it, and came right back across the border. I never know why they pick me, but the U.S. Border guards decided to have a look through my car. Maybe I looked too much like a Middle-Eastern terrorist or something, but no real problem except the time.

I left Eagle Pass and drove to Del Rio. I decided not to drive into Acuna, as was no use having my car searched for a second time in one day, so asked at the first place I stopped if they had a bus that would take you across. They have such in El Paso, which is the way I always go into Juarez. The person said they did and gave me directions. The bus was not running today, and I found out from the cab driver that took me over that the bus service had gone out of business about a month ago. So I paid an American cab $12 to drive me across the bridge. probably about 2 miles on the whole trip.

I got out of the cab, walked up and down the streets looking in all the shops, and really only saw one shop that had anything I really wanted, some really neat china cabinets. I have too little storage for all my kitchen crap, so that is something I could really use. However, even if I had had my car, I could not have fit that in the trunk. I ended up buying a belt with some silver conchos and gold plated longhorns in the middle of them, paid some guy $2 to shine my boots, and ate lunch in the restaurant of the hotel where the cab had dropped me off. I had 3 Tequila Sunrises, with nachos and cheese enchiladas. I had hit town about 10:30am and by 2:30pm, I had had all of Mexico I wanted for this trip. Acuna is famous for its Boys' Town and I had thought about going to check it out. I do like girls, but I am not really into those kind of girls, if you get my drift. I saw the cab driver who had brought me across letting some people out and tried to get him to take me back. He said he couldn't. I guess it is some rule that American cab drivers bring you over and Mexican cab drivers take you back. He asked this cabbie that had just put two passengers in the back of his cab if he could take me back, so I sat in the front with him for the trip back. We had to swing by the hotel where the couple had stayed to pick up their luggage, then sit in a long line going back across the bridge before we got to customs. They tagged us and we had to go at the tables and let them search through the couple's luggage. I just sat on the table, as I had nothing on me but the belt. The guard found one Cuban cigar in their luggage and made the young girl go in the building to fill out some paperwork so they could seize the contraband. She was scared, but came back out telling us about the two US Airmen who were inside and had been caught trying to bring drugs back across. My guess was that they scored some pot, but she didn't know any details, only that the two guys were really scared.

Finally, I was dropped off where my car was, and I headed north by northeast toward home. It rained heavily in parts, and I was fearing these two low water crossings on the road back, hoping I would be able to cross. Last time I had driven back from Del Rio, last summer when I went to Langtry just to see the Jersey Lilly, the South Llano River had been running over the road at both of those crossings. I was almost sure I was going to be stuck when I got there, what with the pelting rain and such. Surprisingly, when I did finally arrive, neither crossing had any water crossing the road. The remainder of the trip home was fairly uneventful.

If you want the Road Trip Roadkill Report, read the extended entry:

Road Trip Roadkill Report

Armadillos - 9

Skunks - 6

Turkey Vultures (or other bird) - 5

Cottontail/Jack Rabbit - 11

Racoon - 6

Dog/Coyote - 2

Possum - 4

Snake - 1

Unidentified - 17

Posted by Tiger at 09:41 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Cabin Fever and other such stuff

OK, it is already beginning to look like this is going to be another slow blogging period during this long weekend. As for me, I have a severe case of cabin fever, so I have decided to head for Mexico, destination Cuidad Acuna. Blogging will resume when I return. Until then, if you are one of the people who are stuck for the weekend and needing something really snarky to read: delve way back into my archives. There are some postings in April and May that very few have ever read.

Happy Labor Day to all! No lawn mowing, ya hear?

[UPDATE: Still on the road to Mexico, just stopped by Denita's Internet Cafe for a sec as it seemed to be on the way. Just finished my herbal tea, paid for my five minutes of Internet use, and am ready to get back on the road. I am somewhere about 1/3 of the way there.]

Some pure SNARKINESS for your midmorning enjoyment

Go read this post on Ravenwood's Universe. That last line is a drink alert situation.

Get ye back to the drawing board!

OK, although I had seen blurbs pointing to this one several blogs, I ran across another one at Dean's World, and what with today being a slow blogging day,* I decided to run a few passages of my own through The Gender Genie. It states that this program is "[i]nspired by an article in The New York Times Magazine, the Gender Genie uses an algorithm developed by Moshe Koppel, Bar-Ilan University in Israel, and Shlomo Argamon, Illinois Institute of Technology, to predict the gender of an author."

I ran three fairly large blocks of my writing from the last couple of days, and in each instance, it identified the author as being female. The last block I ran was this:

I have not really posted much about that California recall mess as I live in Texas and we are pretty much of the opinion here that anything that occurs in California is weird. That recall thing is proving us right by the moment. Still, if I was in California, I would vote for Georgy. I admit I might just be voting with my willie. She is hot!

On my blogging rounds, I have read snippets of stuff about that recall crap here and there. I have found some of the stuff about Arnold to be funny, but lately there has been a lot of talk about Bustamante and this MEChA gang who claims to have some ties to the Aztecs or something. Now I have always thought the Aztecs did have a fascinating culture, but didn't they sacrifice virgins to the Gods? Damn, but that is a horrible waste of virgins.

I was f**king wrong, OK!

I said something about Robin Williams Peace Plan in a comment to this post on michele's blog, a small victory. In one of the following comments to that post, I found this entry:

Whatta maroon. Anyone actually sitting and watching the events of September 11 with even the smallest "undercurrent of optimism" is a despicable human.

On a side note, that's the second time today I've heard someone touting the "Robin Williams Peace Plan" like it's some real thing. It's not.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/williams.asp

Posted by Solonor at August 27, 2003 10:25 PM [emphasis added]

Now I am going to attribute this to Robin Williams, as it was attributed to Robin Williams when I found it in a group I belong to. I actually did a search using one of the phrases from the following to see if I could confirm it was actually from Robin Williams, and what I did find was that it was posted in several places, but no one attributed it to Robin Williams. Finally, thanks to my friend from the group who originally posted it, I was pointed to this link which will take you to the google cached page for WECR 102.3. That radio station does not seem to have much interest in archiving previously posted things on their site, I discovered by trying to locate their original version of that cached page. OK, now that I have cleared up the attribution, let me give you the plan:

OK, so maybe this was not composed by Robin Williams and was written by some Harley rider after riding through the Black Hills of North Dakota with the wind blowing through his locks and his thoughts on what in the heck to do about all the unAmerican sentiment that seems to be barraging our compassionate and sympathetic country from far away places. It could be that his momma wrote it while sitting on the toilet. All I know is that I did not write it, but I wish I had. As for it not being real, I challenge that statement because it is untrue. The damn thing exists and has been widely published. I cede the point that it might be wrongfully attributed to Robin Williams.

Of course, it could be that snopes is wrong. Since their purpose is to debunk Urban Legends, I cannot believe that to be true, but it is possible.

Am I pissed at having been publicly called on the carpet for my error? I already have my own Spelling Police agent who publicly points out my misspellings. I appreciate the unjaded eye looking over my stuff and seeing what I miss. No, I am unconcerned about having been found to have misstated a fact. I can admit when I am wrong. To speak truthfully, I am so appreciative that someone took the trouble to do my fact-checking, that I invite Solonor* to read my entries regularly and to feel free to point out any errors in my fact reporting as he can find.

As for the plan, it still makes sense, whoever composed it:

*I would like to thank Solonor for the head's up on the opening up of the BBC archives, and would like to publicly inform him that his blog entries ride under the left hand column when viewed in 600x800 resolution. I am supposing he never thought to check such.

[UPDATE: In the comments, Solonor said the problem I experienced visiting his site was a temporary glitch. I confirm that such glitch has been corrected. I retract my statement about his not having thought to check such and sheepishly apologize. I am unsure what the deal is with the BBC Archives that he discussed. I still hope they are available for free downloading at some point.]

The Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!) I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets "lost" or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

9b) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" - Robin Williams

In the deep dark cavern of flesh

Well, today has had its ups and downs, but overall was a much better day than yesterday, I guess. I still have not found a navel rubbing partner, so I am still stuck looking at the same old soft haired surrounded navel that I seem to gaze at every night. I was just wondering about that tiny mole I discovered existed in there a few days ago and was wondering if it has always been in there and I just never noticed, or if it is something new. Of course, now I am wondering if anyone has ever had navel cancer. Not something I enjoy thinking about and surely not something I would want to be the first person ever to get. I think I will not worry much about navel cancer and just go back to thinking happy thoughts like rubbing navels with someone soft, sensual and succulent. Female, of course. Thankfully, I believe that will conclude tonight's report.

Damn, there were just so many of them

OK, OK, I know ya'll wonder why I have not posted anything since 7:42 p.m., but I was checking my Ecosystem for some reason, I do not know why, because it had not changed since this morning, and saw that link for the New Weblog Showcase. I remembered I had urge everyone to vote for their favorites, and had not done so myself. So, I have been checking out all of the entries, and no, I did not review them all. I kinda decided there was not that much interest in my having done so for the amount of time it actually took. Heck, it took long enough just to locate and read all the entries in this week's contest. Anyway, here are the ones I liked:

Snooze Button Dreams: Kids trade bad habits like Pokemon cards (PBD) - cute!

How to Become a Hero: Listening like a hero - worthy read but dated from June

Lex Libertas: "No Blood For Coal!" - Excellent but republication of earlier post

Maine Catholic and Beyond: So What's the Deal? Am I Named for a Saint or Not?! - I can't answer his question

The Bored Friends Groupblog: Going To See The Pope.... - scroll for it, August 18, 2003

Don't Be a Hero: Iraq Mobile Phones Musical Chairs - Very interesting

On the Fritz - Troll Alert!: Mad Donna — The Religious Zealot Troll - Excellent! I love it!!!

Baked Chunk: Thoughts on Midgets - what goes on in some people's brains simply amazes me

Colorado Luis: Puro Mestizo - Interesting Analysis/Commentary

Notorious B.L.O.G.: Boycott RIAA - Very Interesting Idea

Uh, I wouldn't normally do this but . . .

OK, I kept seeing this on several different blogs today and my damn curiousity got the better of me, so I decided to give it a try:

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Yea, verily: Who is that, running along the tarmac! It is ***, hands clutching two hardened pitas! And with a spectacular bellow, his voice cometh: "I'm going to hump you until there are no limbs left to break!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

The Friday Funny from George*

Before we get to the funny part, for some reason this was in the Friday Bad Joke list sent to me this week. While it is not funny, it is definitely something so true that I thought it was worth sharing:

Remember five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Now regrettably, it iwas difficult to find the best joke this week for some reason, but after much diligence in searching through the list, I picked this one:

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child.

After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.

The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.

In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."

*This is Cherry's dad's name, and is not the George whose name I often use in vain in my blogging efforts. My understanding, however, is that he is very close to Him whose name I replace with the name George so as to not violate one of the Ten Commandments. Uncanny, huh? and there is no coincidence. It is something that just came to mind at the time I wrote that bitle.

Is it real or is it . . .

Photoshop? Check this out and make up your own mind.

Put yourself in his shoes . . .

If you were a butt-ugly teenager living in Minnesota, what would you be doing for fun?

attribution: like everyone has not posted on this, but eenie, meenie, miney, moe, I give this one to Jen

One of life's most puzzling questions

If you told a joke and nobody laughed, would it still be funny?*

*Only respond if you read this. Those of you who can't read are not required to respond.

And the good guys are?

I have not really posted much about that California recall mess as I live in Texas and we are pretty much of the opinion here that anything that occurs in California is weird. That recall thing is proving us right by the moment. Still, if I was in California, I would vote for Georgy. I admit I might just be voting with my willie. She is hot!

On my blogging rounds, I have read snippets of stuff about that recall crap here and there. I have found some of the stuff about Arnold to be funny, but lately there has been a lot of talk about Bustamante and this MEChA gang who claims to have some ties to the Aztecs or something. Now I have always thought the Aztecs did have a fascinating culture, but didn't they sacrifice virgins to the Gods? Damn, but that is a horrible waste of virgins.

News Brief

Well, I just got back from making a trip to the next county on some court business and was listening to the radio on the way there and back. It seems the biggest news was that some peace hatin' people in Iraq killed a large passel of peace lovin' people in Iraq. That is sad. Of course, I also think it is sad that people continue to say we shouldn't be over there in Iraq huntin' down peace hatin' people who kill peace lovin' people.

Oh, the utter verbosity of it all!

"That's the key - whether speaking or writing, when you run out of something to say, shut up." Lynn S

[Of course, if you still have something to say, you can either footnote or update. I just had to add that.]

Remembering a Great Man and changing times

I had really wanted to post something about Dr. Martin Luther King yesterday, it being the 40th anniversary of his famous "I have a Dream" speech, but was distracted. CG Hill was not so distracted and gives us his glimpse into memories of that time.

I do remember 1963, just barely. I was 8. Some time around that year, we had a black family that moved into the neighborhood, right around the corner from where I lived. They had a little girl that was one year younger than I who went to our school. It was less than a block away from both of our houses. I do not remember there being any hooplah by anyone when they moved into the neighborhood or when she began classes at Johnston Elementary in Abilene, Texas. I do not remember anyone treating her any differently than any other kid in school. I have always believed that until they become prodded, cajoled and controlled by adults into forming certain biases and prejudices, children are about as race neutral as anyone. Oh, I know we kids did have problems being around disabled people, usually having to stare at them because they were, indeed, different. Some of them we actually laughed at. Was it cruel? Probably, but children seldom intend to be cruel in such cases. They are just so innocent and truthful that they laugh when something amuses them.

As for my relation with that little girl, I treated her like I did all other little girls at the time. I basically avoided all girls because they were icky and had cooties. I did change my opinion of girls a few years later, but I have tried to never change my opinion that skin color is not a factor I use when choosing my friends and associates.

Late Breaking News

Frank J has been killed in a suicide bomb attack by a local convenience store owner, recently emmigrated from the Middle East.*

[Update: Christopher Hitchens, who cannot spell his own name, was struck by lightning after writing a commentary for The Slate that says, in part:

One is presuming (is one not?) that this [***] is the same god who actually created the audience he was addressing. This leaves us with the insoluble mystery of why he would have molded (“in his own image,” yet) a covetous, murderous, disrespectful, lying, and adulterous species. Create them sick, and then command them to be well? What a mad despot this is, and how fortunate we are that he exists only in the minds of his worshippers.]

**What? You haven't been reading the Wicked Willie™ series?

***The term "this" was referring to the "God that created the Ten Commandments".

And now for the rest of the story:

Here is the next day's newspaper story about the trial I finished up on Tuesday night. It seems that they mentioned my name quite a few times in this one. ;)

Now say "Goodnight," Gracie!

"Goodnight Gracie."*

*It still plays in Indianapolis, huh?

Talk about being rock hard!

And you thought Wicked Willie™ and his woody willie was bad, you could see what Mother Earth puts up with.

Could it really be?

Well, one thing I can say about my close observation of my navel this evening, or is it officially morning now, is that it is one part of me that is not pissed off as hell. It seems pretty apathetic about my whole ordeal of today. Quite strangely, though, I could almost believe that the soft strands of hair that surround it have actually grown in number and are engulfing it more closely than on my last observation. Could it be that getting really pissed off causes navel area hair to thicken quickly? Hmm, I will have to remember to autheticate this postulation the very next time my blood pressure goes off the scale. Such remark ends this evening's report. I hope you have enjoyed this little foray into inane navel gazing.

Well, it ain't an Instalanche . . .

but 67 hits so far from one link still ain't that bad. Emperor Misha gets blogrolled even though I am scared of his dog.

Are ya ready for a discounted look at J-Lo?

Susie said Gigli is finally opening at the Dollar movies, or did she?

Episode No. 6

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playin' pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Oh, did I ever wake up refreshed this morning. I had a big wooden willie, but it was mostly because I needed to go pee. Them skanks never understand that, and gosh, some of them try to jump on you when they see it, and they just do not understand when you push them away and jump up and run off to the bathroom. As much as I love rollin' with some skank, it ain't all the comfortable with them jumpin' up and down when ya got a full bladder. Dammit, bitch, let me go piss.

Of course, I didn't have no skank to bother me this morning. Hil is still in Washington doin' Senate business or bangin' someone or something. All I know is she ain't here. Anyway, it ain't that bad when she is away, because it ain't that good when she is around, and when she is away, then I can be bad.

So today I gave Heather a call. She is such a sweet skanky lookin' gal. Actually she does remind me a lot of Monica. I did my best to sweet talk her into comin' over and gettin' my willie really wet and stuff. She was not buyin' the freebie stuff and told me that there had to be some financial angle or her boss would just not let her come out. I don't know all the ins and outs of that business, but I was definitely hankerin' for some ins and outs involvin' my willie and some of the moist and warm spots on Heather's skanky body. I told her about my credit card problems and asked her if she could arrange for cash payments. She said of course, she could. They did not usually do that, because they wanted to make sure the payment was made before they made the trip, but she trusted me enough to come on out. The price: $1000.00. I thought, hot damn, I wished I was a skank. I would have gotten to be a millionaire havin' fun instead of rippin' off taxpayers. Anyway, she was on her way.

I rummaged around in all my sock drawers and such and all I could come up with was about $450.00. I asked Stu if I could borrow some, but he said he was broke. I wanted to ask Benji, but was afraid he would ask me to do somethin' for it, and I was not wantin' to do what I thought he would want me to do for any amount of money. I called the Secret Service supervisor and asked if I could get some replacements for those two. maybe someone who had a pocketful of money they could lend me. He just laughed. I asked him if I could use his credit card number, and he laughed even louder and then hung up on me. I work for Big George now, he said, as he slammed the phone in my ear.

I went into Hil's room and started rummagin' around. Finally in one of her closets, I found a suitcase just crammed full of $100 bills. She might be cold-hearted and frigid a skank as there ever was, but that woman could charm large sums of cash out of lobbyists better than anyone in Washington. I was pretty sure she would not miss $5 grand, so pocketed a packet of hundreds and went and stowed my $450 back into those old boots at the back of my closet.

I got enough to call Heather a few more times. Hey, maybe if I use it to buy a lot of chocolates, I can talk one of those young skanky Field Hockey players at the Girl's Prep School down the hill into meetin' me in the bushes for a little game of hide the willie. Hey, don't pop it now, Willie, my boy, Heather is on the way. Save the good stuff for later.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?

In my Life*

OK, this day surely did not turn out to be the kind of day I hoped it would be. I had hoped to take off tomorrow and Monday, have a 4 day weekend and go on a road trip. I had even posted such here earlier, Then the shit hit the fan. Let me give you a bit of the back story.

About a year ago, this lady who is related to my good friend Frank comes by and says she would like to work for me because she is bored and needs something to do. At the time, I was not making all that much, and I could not afford to pay anyone to assist me. No problem, she says, as she has a financial situation where she gets $2000 a month. I will not go into that part of the story as it is not important. Anyway, I said, sure, come in and start working. Well, right from the start there is a problem, as she has no transportation and lives a bit outside the town. As she was working for free, I was not all that worried about it, but it seemed to bother her a lot. I would go out every morning and drive her in, if possible. Things went all right for the first few weeks, and then she started missing work fairly regularly as she seemed to have some illness that no one could figure out. The doctors kept telling her she had an ulcer, and that was about as far as it went. About this time, I started having problems with my car, mostly because my A/C was not working. The problem was found, but what it was, was that the compressor worked, but the switch was broken. Well, we priced the switch, and it was about $300, so I asked him if there wasn't a way to just put a toggle switch somewhere so that I could just manually turn on the compressor when needed. I had actually done this before for a couple of other switch problems on other vehicles to fix the horn and headlights. So he rigged it up. However, somehow it was rigged up to draw straight from the battery instead of only working when the ignition was switched on. I was regularly forgetting to flick the compressor off and I would come out every morning and finding my battery was dead. I did finally get the mechanic to redo the connection so that it would not be live unless the ignition was on, but by that time the battery was fried. So off to Wally-mart I go to get a new battery. I come right back, intending to have him check all the circuits to make sure we got that problem fixed when this guy pulls up with this Lincoln Town Car who gets out and asks if the mechanic knows anyone interested in buying it for $4K. It was a very nice car, and much better than the one I was driving. I said I was, and took it on a test drive and bought it.

So, here is where the problem started. I decided since I had a spare car, I would allow the lady to use mine so as to get back and forth to work. The deal was that only she could drive it and that she had to maintain insurance on it. Her medical condition got worse and she came to work less and less as she was spending more and more time going to the doctor. They finally found that she had a grapefruit-sized cyst on her pancreas and that there was something wrong with her gall-bladder. So she had surgery. They removed the gall-bladder and drained the pancreas cyst and she was hospitalized for about a month. She actually comes back to work before she was told to, but that does not last long. She is still feeling bad. Soon she is back in the hospital, the cyst turns out to be a tumor, thought to be benign and they remove her spleen. Later they find she has cancer, really severe cancer. She had had it all along. She never comes back to work, but I cannot really take the car, because she does need it to get around. I soon find, however, that a couple of parts have been stolen off of the car and someone has broken out the window on the drivers side. I am not happy, but still, I feel some compassion for her problem.

About this time, her 19-year-old daughter moves to town and wants to take over as my secretary. She does need to be paid. She has a young baby. I agree to hire her, but also agree that she has to work for a bit less than she might get at another job but is free to bring the baby. This is no problem. Her mother actually keeps the baby at first, but then her health really fails and the baby begins showing up at the office more and more often. However the young lady is very hard worker and seems to like her job. She is there on time and works until closing time. Then she confronts me and says she needs a bit more money. I think, OK, she deserves it, so I raise her salary a bit. Then she needs more and more time off for this and that, then wants Fridays off. Still, she gets things done when she is there and it is less important that she is there when I am there. I mean, I am paying peanuts, practically, although she is probably eating better than I am. Still I don't feel bad about paying her.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, her sister and brother come in from California, because mom is failing fast. At one time, they are saying she is moving in with her mom in Galveston so she can be treated at M.D. Anderson. I pass along word that I do not want them taking my car when they move. I am not sure what happened at that point, but I think my secretary told her that she would not move down there. Anyway, she decided not to move.

Well, I kept noticing my secretary's brother was driving my car here and there. I know there is not any insurance on the car. I am still aware it is the only car that my former secretary had, but I am very uncomfortable with the car being regularly used without being insured.

Today, the straw that broke the camel's back hit. The brother, who seemed to begin hanging around the office taking up more and more of my secretary's time said something about going to the next town over, but was afraid to drive mom's car because there was something wrong with it, and I got a bit agitated. They are not only driving around without insurance, which creates a liability issue for me, but they are not maintaining the car and are destroying it. I say something about it and the brother says something about how I had given the car to his mother in exchange for her working for me. I had heard that once before, and it was not true. I have the title to that car, there was a distinct arrangement and I started raising my voice and growing quite angry. This was right at quitting time, after I had announce my plans to my secretary.

Well, I decided, devil-may-care, I am not going to be robbed, made a fool of, or whatever. I go by my secretary's house, to let her know that this problem was going to be dealt with so I could see where her loyalties would fall. They fell where I thought, and she quit. I still don't have the car, but my secretary came by a few minutes ago and gave me the door and mailbox key. I said something about the car and she said she was going by her mother's house to tell them to bring it over to my house. She and her family are going back to Galveston with her grandmother for a few days, she said. I never did tell her what I had planned to do if the car was not brought back. I hope they do bring it back, because I would hate to have her come back and find out what my continency plan is. It will not be a happy situation for any of them. Regrettably mom is expected to die within the month. I regret this and regret what has occurred, but her suffering should not mean I have to do so. The brother seemed to be quite reckless, and having him running around in my car with no insurance having no regard for my rights was just a bit more than I could stomach. I can only give so much, and then I have to draw the line. I drew the line today. How far the shit will fall, I do not know. I may have destroyed a large part of my political base. However, I am gambling that such will be much less traumatic than being sued into oblivion when brother gets drunk and plows into the side of someone in an uninsured car owned by me.

*No apologies to Frank J for the use of this title. It just fit.

Jennifer is history . . .

at least as far as blog-city and blue dragon is concerned. She is now another planet circling the munu star and is using MT. Woohoo! Now, did I hear right? Did she decide to give up on the Blog War stuff?

Oh, before I forget, be sure to change your blogroll link to http://jenlars.mu.nu/.

Wow, they mentioned me . . .

You already know the outcome and they haven't put the next day's news up, so here is the local paper's report of the trial before the reporter left for the day. They barely mentioned me in this one. ;)

For a more bizarre story out of the same paper, see this. Seriously, this is quite disturbing.

Things that might come to pass . . . or not

I just finished reading this delightful mother/daughter conversation as retold by LeeAnn of the cheese stands alone,* and my thoughts began to drift. I pondered the possibility of there coming a time when someone would actually make a movie of my life, and whether or not there would even be a place to introduce a stunt weenie in that picture.

*I am so glad LeeAnn is back among us. I had missed all of that cheesiness.

And a wise man spoke

It seems a Federal Judge has curtailed the plans of the US Navy in scattering low-frequency sonar throughout the majority of the world's oceans because such has been found harmful to whales.

It appears that I may not be the only one who pays attention to the Book of Roddenberry. As such Book foretells: In the 23rd Century, a large being will come to Earth seeking to communicate with a humpback whale, and if finding none, will destroy the Earth. Now, the book does indicate that the salvation of the Earth depends upon our future descendants having made contact with the Vulcan species, having mastered interstellar space travel, and having devined a method to travel through time, none of which is possible as of this date. One may suppose that the judge is of the belief that such prophesy may indicate that it is necessary to live in harmony with all of the world's creatures.

attribution: Mark of Not Quite Tea and Crumpets

It came like an Anna in the dark

Well, I was not paying attention last night and I see my hit counter crossed that ephemeral 15K marker at 11:31:54 pm Central time and the 15,000th visitor was our own Anna of Primal Purge who came to see what I had said about her in this post. She even left a comment.

As consolation for having been visitor No. 15,000, Anna is hereby entitled to the serene thought that she is but one among fifteen thousand. Now ain't that a kick in the pants?

In a whole other life

Except for the extreme desire to be rubbed up against another, more attractive, navel, there is very little else to report with regard to my nightly navel gazing activity. Of course, that does make one beg to wonder if there is a more attractive navel to be found anywhere in the universe. It might be that such desire should be modified to just another navel and dispense with that more attractive crap. Such remark concludes tonight's report.

Heh! Indeed!

According to Jeff Trigg, activity in Canada is disproving all the old myths about the effects of marijuana use. Read the whole thing.*

*What can I say? Glenn Reynolds does get the hits, so maybe he is on to something. ;) Besides, it is his birthday.**

**Thanks to Kevin for the head's up.

Danger, Will Robinson! Put down your drink, quickly

SilverBlue has posted another hilarious cartoon!

Talk about funny. Can you believe

The number 23 has ___ digits: they are a ___ and a ___.

So what do we make of this?

The new CNN-USA Today-Gallup poll found 77 percent of the 1,009 Americans interviewed earlier this week disapproved of U.S. District Judge Myron Thompson's order to remove the monument. [full story]

attribution: Boots and Sabres

*I purposefully left Hindus, Buddhists, and Taoists off the list because I have found that members of such religions are very tolerant of other people's rights to publicly practice different religions.

Episode No. 5

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Well, thankfully, the overdose of Viagra® finally wore off durin' the night. Of course, I did not sleep all night, as I kept one eye open, watchin' Benji as he stood in the doorway. I have strong suspicions about him.

Hil is still doin' Senate stuff, and I am still here without a woman in the house. Of course, when Hil is here, it is pretty much like not havin' a woman in the house. She has her room down the hall and only comes in here when she needs some help with a zipper or somethin'. Why did she grow so cold after Jennifer Flowers started tellin' all them awful lies about me. Just because one stupid skank forgets to dry-clean her dress for six months, my life goes in the crapper. Life just ain't fair.

People think all I do is think about sex, sex and sex all the time. That just ain't true. I think about food sometimes, ‘specially when I am really hungry. I even like football, especially the cheerleaders. And I like other sports too. Gymnastics are cool, ‘cause I like to think of all them skanky titless gals wrapping them strong thighs around me when we are playin' ride the willie. I especially like them weightliftin' gals. There ain't a finer bunch of skanky heifers in all of the world. Yeah, I don't just think about sex all the time. I think about food, and I think about sports.

Oh, and I do think about Monica. That gal could do a vacuum job on a willie like no one else. I mean I just get a wooden willie just thinkin' back on them times. I ain't really wanting to think on that right now, though, ‘cause I had about all the wooden willie stuff that a man could stand yesterday. I'd a just as soon keep my thoughts somewhere else for the rest of today.

Tomorrow, I think I might give that Heather gal a call again. I bet she would do a cash deal, if I talked to her real sweet. Now what was it I said to Monica that first time? I know it will come back to me before I make that call. Heck, she might give me a freebie if I lay it on really slick. If I give her that charm I used to used when I stood up in front of the American public and denied ever having sex with Monica, she just might do me for free, at that. Now where did I leave that number for my speech writer?

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?

Blog, blog, blog and then what?

I sometimes wonder if I should continue this blog. I enjoy sharing all my inane and snarky thoughts with everyone, but I wonder if I am really writing for more than about three or four fans. There are only about three or four people who comment on my posts regularly. I get a lot of hits, but a large majority of them are Google search hits. I suspect that most do not find what they are really looking for, so jump in and jump right back out. I seem to be climbing up the Ecosystem ladder, but I sometimes wonder if it is just due to two or three of my blog friends how link to my posts on a regular basis.

I do really try so hard to post things that are not seen on other blogs. I am sure some of it is not that great, but then even every thing posted on InstaPundit is not that great to read. Am I on the wrong track? Is my stuff not really all that entertaining? No one is pointing out my posts on their blogs, except for the same people who are my regular fans.

I know it takes time to build up a good readership, and I have only been at this since April 4th of this year, but I see some others that started about the same time that are much more popular, get many more comments, and seem to be recognized by the top dog bloggers on regular occasions. I don't know, but I feel funny about things. I was near the top of my class in almost every grade through law school without much effort. I was even runner-up as Soldier of the Month in my Division while I was in the Army. I am a good attorney, although not financially successful as I wish, but then I am not as greedy as most of my contemporaries, feeling it is important to assist people even if they can't pay as much as you deserve. That is just me. I have always been someone who felt like it was a part of your life to share with those who needed it.

I just do not understand. Is my life so dman uninteresting?* Are my thoughts just too inane? Is my view of the world too warped for anyone to understand? Does anyone want to guest blog for me so this blog does not fall off of the face of the Blogosphere while I take a much needed vacation over this long weekend?

*Actually, this one I think I might already know the answer to. Yeah, it is pretty damn uninteresting from this vantage point.

Real Life Adventure

Today was a very bizarre day. I woke up this morning with another sinus headache. I slept in kind of late to make up for getting home so late after waiting almost all night for that jury to finally come to a verdict. After I finally decided to go to the office, I passed my secretary's house as usual, because it is actually on my route to work. This is a small town and she lives between here and my office which is about, oh, what?, like walking six blocks from here. I stopped to check on why she had not come in, and she said something about her mother and her chemo treatments. I had actually stopped by her house after court last night just to check up on what had happened at the office the last couple of days, and we had discussed her maybe taking the afternoon off to accompany her mother. It was not yet 11:00 am. She tells me there are some important messages waiting for me, so I leave, not really happy that she had not stayed until lunch like we discussed. I understand her needing time off, and I feel I am quite generous, but this has been a really slow month. The pay that she has received this month is just a tad more than I have made. I am not all that eager to pay someone who does not work, but I like her, she does work hard, she is young, needs the job, etc. I just was not smiling when I left.

I get to the office and am trying to get my internet to connect so that I can download all those damn emails that collected over the last couple of days. I am responding to some young lady asking me some nutritional advice on this Expert thingy I am on with About.com. I actually only identified myself as an expert as to identification of symptoms of anorexia, being as my wife was anorexic and died because she was anorexic, I believe I have some insight into the symptoms of anorexia. Anyway, so in walks my secretary.

She is not happy. It is not the office situation so much, as it is that some neighbors of hers had told her thay had overheard someone in one of the local businesses telling people that she and her husband were selling drugs out of their house. The rumor is that you stop in front of their house and honk three times and one of them comes out and gives you the drugs.

I accompanied her to this business and allowed her to try to get to the bottom of it. The person said someone had told her, and that she had not said anything. She is going to call this supposed person and have them come there. However, three young men later came in and were talking with her while we were there, who looked back in our direction several times. This infuriated my secretary who jumped on the lady about it. She asked her if she had called the people, and the lady said he had, but that they refused to come in. About this time another lady came in, and the first lady said this is the person that lives in the blue house. This was all getting a bit too much for me, as I knew both of these women, and had actually considered them to be close acquaintenances. I got a bit vocal and said something about there was not truth to these rumors and the bullshit needed to stop.

One of the young men, a rather sizeable fellow comes to where we are and says something about me having said the word "bullshit" and gets very aggressive. He got right in my face, in a threatening manner [funny how he laso used the word "fuck" to me in his show of machismo] and I told him to go ahead and swing. He backed up, ranted for a bit longer. I just ignored him.

So, we leave there and go to the local Sheriff's Department where she and I and the Sheriff discuss the rumor and, at my suggestion, she invites the Sheriff to bring a drug dog over to her house. He says if she gives her consent, he will definitely do a search for drugs in her house. This is to put all the rumors at rest. I have been in her house several times, and I also know her landlord, who makes regular visits to her house, and I am sure there is no drug dealing going on there. These kids barely have a pot to piss in and have, as of today, a five month old daughter.

We go back by her house and just let her husband know that the Sheriif might be coming by sometime in the next couple of days. As we pulled up in front of her house, the neighbor across the street comes out. I did not know he was the person living there, but I also know him, as he is the ex-husband of the woman who had arrived after us at the business establishment. He is also the former boyfriend of one of my former secretaries. He just wants to explain that he had gotten the call, and that he had never said anything about the drugs. It seems that the woman and his ex-wife had been visiting at his house one day. His ex-wife and he actually have a strange relationship and she does spend a considerable amount of time with him. He has a girlfriend, however, and I am not all that sure how that all plays together. It turns out that the young man was his son, and he said he was probably just being protective over his former step-mother. My secretary goes over to his house to discuss something, so I am sitting in the car waiting for her to come back out.

Up pulls the damn kid who had threatened me. Now he decides to sit on the curb right across the street and stare at me. I am sitting there for well over 30 minutes. He just sits there and stares. It was hot as hell outside and this ignorant putz sits there and stares like he is scaring me or something. It was so bizarre.

I later find out he is fresh out of the Marines, and his dad thinks he is still full of aggression from his time in the Corps. This punk has done pissed me off. I am contemplating provoking him into taking a punch at me so I can get him locked up for some serious time. I have a plan.

The very next time I see him, I am going to approach him very apologetically, advise him that I am a veteran who had received an Honorable Discharge, and that I could understand how someone like him must feel to have been booted out of the Marines because opened his mouth and blurted out his admission in violation of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell rule. If that doesn't provoke him to take a swing, he is even dumber than he looks.

Did I hear this right?

Did Anna say she was hungry enough to eat a cow?

Oh my! How SNARKY can you get?

Venomous Kate thinks she has discovered the back story on why Acidman is currently on vacation.

Delays in your flight plans

OK. I waited a bit on this. I wanted to get home and do a bit of research on the authenticity of the following and see if I could not find out a bit of information on the identity of the named author. I was unable to accomplish either. However, I still think the sentiment displayed in the following anecdote is so overwhelming, I decided to just let ya'll have a look. Check the extended entry, as it is a worthy read!

I sat in my seat of the Boeing 767 waiting for everyone to hurry and stow their carry ons and grab a seat so we could start what I was sure to be a long and uneventful flight home. With the huge capacity and slow moving people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I simply shook my head knowing that this flight was not starting out very well and although I had a great bunch of meetings while conducting business on this trip, it was quickly becoming tarnished with these delays in my getting home to my loved one whom I had not seen in several days.

The meetings although fruitful were long and I had not slept well, not to mention those blasted new dress shoes that rubbed a blister on my heel. I was pretty focused on "my" issues and just felt like standing up and yelling for some of these clowns to get their act together and focus on taking their seats. knowing I couldn't say anything that would really help, I just thumbed thru the sky mall widget magazine from the seat pocket in front of me. You know it's really getting rough when you resort to the over priced and mostly useless sky mall crap to break the monotony and inconvenience of the trouble "I" was going thru. With everyone finally on board and seated, we just sat there with the cabin door open and seemingly no one in any hurry to get us going even though we were well past our scheduled take off time. The paper work had not yet come in to the flight deck, the attendants just stood around talking.

No wonder the airline industry is in trouble I told myself. Don't they realize we have some place we are supposed to be? We should be treated with more importance, after all we are the customers, right?

Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all "that we were being delayed"...as she paused, the entire plane let out a collective groan.

She resumed her announcement, 'we are holding the aircraft for some very special people who are on their way to the plane and that the delay should not be more than five more minutes. Their connecting flight had traveled a long way and we would get underway just as soon as possible."

Now, I have had this happen to me before and more often than not, I had to catch the next flight or even go to another carrier to get to my destination. Still, I was grateful for the times when they waited for me, so I thought that I would go back to my sky mall pages and try to forget just how much "I" was being inconvenienced.

As the word came from a scrambling attendant down the connecting tunnel to the main cabin door I thought that maybe she had some information that would let us know why we had been sitting there for over 30 minutes!! Had someone finally given word that after waiting six times as long as we were first promised that "I" was finally going to be on my way home? Why the hoopla over these folks? Just get their butts in a seat and lets hit the gas, I thought to myself.

After a few minutes we were all "locked on" when the attendant came back on the speaker, semi expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be announced as the reason the aircraft was delayed so long. I thought who cares, let's go!

She announced in a loud and excited voice that we were being joined by several United States Marines returning home from Iraq!!!!

Just as they walked onboard the entire plane erupted into applause.

The Men were a bit taken by the surprise of the 340+ people cheering for them as they searched for their seats. It didn't stop, they were having their hands shook and touched by almost everyone who was within an arm's distance of them as they tried to push thru the aisles. Whistles, cheering, an occasional "oorrahh", one elderly woman kissed the hand of one of the Marines as he passed by her, and the applause didn't stop for a long time as they continued toward the back of the aircraft.

When we finally got air born I am sure I was not the only civilian checking his conscious as to the "delays" in me getting home from my "hard business meetings", finding my easy chair and remote, a cold beverage, and tending to my blister". In fact I felt pretty stupid as I am sure many did. After what these Men had done for all of us, and I had been complaining silently about "me" and "my issues"?

It sure made me realize that as much as I told myself that I didn't take for granted some of the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the American way of life and that it sometimes seems like a personal attack on one of us when things don't go exactly right...I was doing exactly that. I was taking it for granted. I took it for granted when others who had really paid the price for my ability to moan and complain (even if it was just to myself)...let alone a few minutes delay to me so that those HEROES could go home to their loved ones.

I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order and minutes before we landed I suggested to the attendant that she announced over the speaker a request for everyone to remain in their seats until our Hero's were allowed to gather their things and be first off the plane. The cheers and applause continued until the last Marine stepped off and we all rose to go about our too often taken for granted everyday freedoms....

I felt Proud of Them. I felt it an Honor and a privilege to be among the first to welcome them home and say Thank You for a job well done.

I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lesson learned. I have said it before but I can't say it enough, THANK YOU to those VETERANS and ACTIVE SERVICEMEN AND WOMEN who may read this, and a prayer everyday for those who cannot because they are no longer with us. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Phil Power

Ya gotta love this!

I have gotten another avalanche of stuff being forwarded email from my Aunt Jeanette. Most of you who are regular readers know I pick through such and if I find something really worth sharing, I will do so. Here is one I loved, and I hope you do too:

Long-Distance Calls

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and worked east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign which read: "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the Pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor explained that the golden phone was, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he paid the price he could talk directly to God. The man thanked the Pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, San Diego, Chicago, Greensboro, Tampa and all around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign and got the same answer from each Pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Dallas, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the Pastor.

"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone. I have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents. Why?"

The Pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now... It's a local call."

Blogosphere is up to snuff

NZB reports that the Ecosystem has passed Hosting Matters' concerns and is now fully back on line. As such, the New Weblog Showcase is up and these new bloggers need your votes. Go check them out and vote for the ones you like. Even new bloggers need your help. I have discovered several of the great bloggers on my blogroll in the past by looking through these entries. There is always some bloggy goodness to find. Take the time to do so. I am sure they will appreciate your looking at their offerings.

As for myself, I have found I am now number 167 on the list, still solidly in the Large Mammal zone. If you have not yet blogrolled me, please do feel free to do so. With your help, my readership will pick up and hopefully, at some point in the future, I can evolve to have opposable thumbs or something. We thank you for your support.

Step right up! For just one thin dime . . .

you will see things that will delight, amaze and surprise you. This week's Carnival of the Vanities is hosted by Rhesa of Creative Slips. It highlights a couple of my often overlooked political diatribes.

I missed announcing yesterday the opening of the week's Bonfire of the Vanities, hosted weekly by Kevin of WizBang!, upon which I fed one of my lesser appreciated posts to fuel the flame.

Take a day to reflect

michele, in her ever eloquent way, says that despite the media not planning anything grandiose to display on the day, September 11th will be a day to remember all who were and are still affected by the occurrences on that fateful day of just two years ago. While, geographically, I am far from the scene of that tragedy and vile attack upon thousands of innocents, I watched the coverage on that morning and for days afterward. I know I will never forget. I join michele in hoping you will not forget either.

You get my vote on that

The Husband works as a corrections officer at a federal prison. The other day when he came home from work, he was more disillusioned that ever. The prison's drug dog had caught two visitors attempting to smuggle drugs into the inmates they were visiting. That in itself wasn't unusual. What was out of the ordinary is one of the women caught was a 76 year old grandmother.

All my grandmothers ever did for me was give me unconditional love and set an example of an honorable life that I seek to emulate.

I do believe I got the better deal. Linda

Episode No. 4

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Oh, this was the most miserable day. I somehow got my Viagra® moxed in with my vitamins and swallowed several of them this morning and did I have the hardest willie in the world all day long. Benji would not leave my side for some reason. I swear he was right at my shoulder every time I looked around. I don't know where Stu was. I know he was close, because that is his job to be close, but he was nowhere as near as Benji, and I am not sure it is his job to be quite so close every minute of one day.

Anyway, having a hard willie like that is miserable, especially if you wife is away doing important Senate business, your old girlfriend won't return your calls and you are afraid to wank it yourself because you damn bodyguard won't leave you to yourself long enough to do so. I mean he followed me in the the damn bathroom everytime I went to piss. Let me tell you, it ain't all that easy to piss with a hard willie either. You have to sit like some bitch and kinda force it under the seat and hold it down there with one hand to keep from sprayin' it out the crack between the seat and the rim of the bowl. Benji offered to assist me in holding it once or twice, but I just gave him a hard stare about it. I can handle my own willie myself, at least when I am pissin'.

My willie is still rock hard and I am not sure when it is gonna stop being hard. I really would not have minded having a hard willie for the whole day if I just had anything interesting to do with it. However, Stu seldom showed himself all day and I didn't want to venture down to the Prep school to eye the field hockey playing skanks without him around to shield me from Benji. I wish Benji would go away, because I would like to go to bed. I am tired, I have a rock hard willie, I can't find no use for it, or any release for my itch. This has been the most horrible day. Why the Hell don't you call Monica? I ain't been this hard for ages, sweetie and I could use your special talents so it don't go to waste.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?

I know it's there some place

My eyes are glassed over to the point that I cannot seem to see far enough to gaze at my navel this evening, however, by tactile exploration, I believe such is in good form. As for there being any lint, Cheeto® crumbs or cigarette ashes, I cannot tell if any is in there, but as I was dressed up in a shirt, covered with a tie, and then wearing a sports coat over such shirt, I am of the belief such was perfectly covered all day. I suspect the only thing that could possibly be in there would be some lint from the shirt I was wearing. I will have to await for tomorrow morning to check it out visually. I am of the opinion, however, that there will be no surprises, and believe such navel is in perfect shape. Please assume the same and have a nice night. This ends tonight's report.

Dog & Pony Show: Day 2

Day two of the Dog & Pony Show started with me getting to court at 8:45 am, with the trial to start at about 9:00 am. All parties were ready at such time. The case was a two count indictment for Felony DWI, one count for an arrest made in May of this year and the second count was for an arrest from March of last year. To be charged with a Felony DWI, the defendant must have been convicted of two prior DWIs within the last ten years. The State had convicted my client of two in 1987 on the same day where I client had plead guilty to both. He was put on two years probation for one of them, and given 28 days, with 28 days back time on the other one. Not that great of a deal, but I was not his attorney at the time, and it probably got him out of jail. He has been sitting in jail since the arrest in May of this year.

The DA read the indictment to the jury. My client plead not guilty to both the charges, and true to the enhancement convictions necessary to be charged with Felony DWI. The first witness was a probation officer just to prove up the two prior convictions. The state had very few questions to ask, and neither did I. I could have made them jump through a lot of hoops to get prove up those convictions, but would have just wasted the court's and jury's time, as there was really no way to challenge such. As we had already plead true to such, it actually made no sense to do such, so I just let the exhibits come in without objection. The time was about 10:30 am and the judge recessed the court for 15 minutes, which I was glad to see, as I was about to wet my pants. One of the downsides of drinking 32 ounces of Dr. Pepper while driving to the next town for court.

After the break, the DA called the police officer on the May 2003 and questioned him and showing the videos from the arrest site and in the jail where the defendant was given the field sobriety tests. At about 11:35 or so, they passed him off to me. He was a young officer, but my client did not look that great on the videos. I hit him hard on his knowledge about the testing and about how quickly he came to the decision to arrest my client. I also questioned him about some things that my client did well. He was actually very more naive that most police officers and gave away a bit of ground. I was pleased, but still the videos were not that great. Lunch time, and we were recessed until 1:15 pm. After lunch, the state re-questioned the officer to try to mop up a few of the mistakes he had made while I had questioned him. I figured there were no other questions worth asking and did not want to give the DA another chance to come back and ask him more questions as I thought I had him pretty well on the ropes. The second police officer was called. The more experienced DA in the two person team questioned him, he was an older officer, an assistant supervisor for the department, and the experienced DA and he proved up the second charge pretty easily, although both seemed to agree it was a close case, but that there was enough evidence to believe the defendant was guilty. I asked the officer very few questions, as the tape was pretty good and almost all the stuff I could have asked this officer, I had asked the other officer, and I did not want the jury to hear how a more experienced officer would answer those questions. The State rested. I asked for a recess to discuss with my client whether we would put him on the stand. The judge granted it. I had originally thought I was going to have to put my client on the stand, but at that point felt like he would have more to lose by being subjected to vigorous cross-examination than he would gain by explaining his side of the case to the jury. We returned from recess and I rested, both side closed and the judge again recessed the jury for an additional 15 minutes so the charge could be prepared. The charge is an instrument that explains the applicable law to the jury and provides to them the questions that they are to answer. In this case, they were to find the defendant either guilty or not guilty on both charges.

The returns and arguments begin. The older DA begins and argues for 10 minutes. He says something that I thought was unbelievable, but says the second charge is not something they are worried about and that they had only brought that charge so the jury would have an opportunity to see the defendant in a very close case as opposed to how he appeared in count one, where he did not look so great.

I began my argument by showing amazement that a DA would have admitted that one of the charges in the indictment was a throwaway. I said, yes, I agree there is a marked difference between defendant's appearance in the later case, but I also pointed out that the arrest had been made at 2:00 am on a Saturday morning when the evidence showed the defendant had arisen at 6:45 am the previous morning and after he had worked all day. I said the difference was fatigue, not intoxication. I slammed the field sobriety tests as circus acts and the wobbly eye test. I explained how everyone in the court had a job and how it was the DA's job to prosecute the case and to argue for my client's guilt, but how their job was to look hard at the evidence and see it for what it was. I pointed out the several normal things that my client had done well. I said from the point alcohol was smelled on his breath, he had been placed under a microscope and that everything was tainted by the perception of the police officer in looking for things to prove the defendant was intoxicated. I talked about how the line between when one had drank but was not affected and when one became affect was a grey line and that we agreed that the defendant was very close to that line, but we believed he was on the good side of that line. I explained that on one side of that line he would go home and on the other side, he would be branded a felon. I put the ball in the jury's hands to decide which side of that line he fell.

The younger, less experienced DA closed out argument by asking the jury to look at the details and she listed all these various items the police officers noted as clues of intoxication. She ended by asking them to find the defendant guilty on both counts.

Now really count two was not that great, and the DA had been offering from day one to dismiss it if we would plead to the other count. I had not put much effort into countering it after the first DA's admission that even they were not worried about a finding of guilt on that case. It appeared they thought they could win the first count, and I put all my effort into defense against the first count.

At 3:30 pm, the jury was sent into deliberations. About 4:30 pm, they sent out a note asking to be able to review the tapes with regard to count one. I and both DAs were of the opinion that they had decided to acquit on count two and were only deliberating a decision on count one. At one point during the viewing of the second video of count one, the presiding juror said something to several of the other jurors and asked to have the video stopped. The retired for further deliberations. I thought they had seen what I had pointed out and the DA thought they had seen what she had pointed out. Thirty minutes later, the second note comes out. The jury has voted to acquit on count one, but the vote is 8 guilty, 4 not guilty on count two. Everyone is in disbelief. The judge sends in a note telling them to continue deliberating.

About 6:00 pm another note. Jury is still deadlocked on count two, now it is 7 guilty, 5 not guilty. The judge sends a note telling them to please continue deliberating, but if they are hopelessly deadlocked to please send a note.

7:15 pm, another note. We are still deadlocked, vote is 6/6. Judge sends in dynamite note which says basically that mistrial means another jury will have to go through the same process, hear the same evidence and will have just as difficult decision to make, so please deliberate and make a decision, but do so only with a clear conscience.

8:10 pm, note: Why were both counts tried at the same time, and what is the standard for field sobriety tests. Just responds that he cannot answer these questions, that the charge contains all the information that he can give.

9:15 pm, we get the word the jury has finally arrived at a verdict. There had been raised voices heard from the jury room for over an hour at the end, but the final vote was acquittal on both counts. There were 12 very hazard and grim faces in that jury box as the judge thanked them for their service and discharged them to get back to the their lives. That is probably the hardest $12 most of them had ever earned for two days work. I was court appointed, so I don't make a killing but it ain't that bad. My client was happy. He gets to go home and is not a felon. I advised him to stop drinking and driving. Do one or the other, but if you drink, pay someone to drive you around, it is cheaper in the long run. The younger DA had been forced to await the end, as the other one had seniority and went home. She congratulated me. She wanted to talk to the jury, I guess to find out what they liked or didn't like about her work. I wanted to tell the ones who had finally relented to acquit that my client had sat in jail for 5 months awaiting this trial, so as to let them know he had not gotten off quite scott free. The jury didn't want to hang around and talk to anyone, and I knew that. I just let them get home.

I got home about 10:00 pm, and dropped by my secretary's house to let her know the trial was over, and to see what I had missed the last two days. I have a lot to do tomorrow.

Generic White wrapper

I am running late and nothing really inane has come to mind. Sorry.

Oh, no . . . now this is ugly

As I said before, I was a bit down, maybe it was the fact that my visitor count seems to have been falling of late, but then the Blogosphere also seems to have been slow everywhere. So, I was just chillin', watching nothing in particular flickering across the TV screen as my thoughts drifted off to George knows where. I was smoking a cigarette, or more exactly, holding a smoldering cigarette as my aforementioned thoughts were somewhere in the ethosphere of ponderville™.* I came to my senses to notice that a very long ash was hanging most gingerly from the end of my cigarette and was moving it slowly toward the ashtray when, yes, you guessed it, it fell off. Well, guess where it ended up? Man, are you swift today, because you are right. It fell right into your favorite navel, the one you come here nightly to read about. Do you know how hard cigarette ashes are to get out of a navel? A lot harder than getting Wicked Willie™ to think about anything besides sex, I can tell you that. I have doused said navel into some water, applied some soap, scrubbed with a wet piece of terry cloth, and yet, I still think I can see some tiny vestiges of cigarette ash down in that navel. That concludes this rather ugly report on the condition of my navel.

*I figured I had better trademark that one quickly in case Lileks came a'callin'. ;)

OK, if you say so . . .

"i'd rather be pale, little-boobie me than fry myself or insert bags of salt water in my chest." sepi who also said: "i hope someone reminds you that 90% of dads (i.e., men in general) are TOTAL MORONS who do sucky things."

Too pooped to post

I dunno, is it the heat, the slow blogging, my exhaustion from my hard day, or am I just burning out on blogging? I visit blogs, read what they have to say, and am finding nothing exciting to share with anyone. That is not to say that no one is writing anything worth reading, because that is not the truth. I just cannot think of anything snarky enough to say. Maybe I will just take a long break, gaze at my navel for awhile. I might feel like coming back later and give ya'll a report of what I find. If I don't, I am afraid Susie will not get a bit of sleep tonight.

Kick the can and kick ass

Link to something funny, found via Jay.

Episode No. 3

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Al called me today. I figured he wanted to discuss some strategy about how to get the nomination from the Party, but he was lookin' for Hil. I wonder if that is who she is gettin' it from. I never thought of ol' Al as a ladies' man, but then I saw that smooch he planted on Tipsy during that last run at the big house. Tipsy is pretty in a real skanky sort of way. I wonder if they are swingers. Heck if Al is low enough to do my Hil, I guess I am low enough to do ol' Tipsy.

Anyway, I told Al Hil had headed back to Congress, so he said he would try to catch her there. After he hung up, I called up the boys and told them we were going for a walk. I have to do that, you know, some stupid rule, like anyone hates me enough to do anything. They was not real happy about the timing. Benji like "Price is Right," and it is a pain for him to tear away from Bob Barker. Benji is a strange one, he is. I still ain't sure he hangs the right way.

So, we finally got Benji out and we all went walkin' down to the girl's prep school on the edge of town. I like to catch field hockey practice. The skankiest gals play field hockey. I just hid back in the bushes and watch them for the longest. I was gettin' a pretty good woody, and would have loved to wank the willie, but Benji was hangin' real close. I was hopin' he was eying the gals, but I was afraid to look back ‘lest he was eying my willie. I don't want to be givin' ol' Benji any ideas that I swing that way. Like I said, I ain't real sure, but I ain't wanting to take any chances either.

I was just standin' there in the woods when the ball got loose and came rolling my way. I am not sure if that skanky li'l red-headed gal saw me, but she circled that ball so that when she bent to pick it up, she shined that ass right in my face. I think I would have dragged her right then into the bushes and had my way with the little wench, ‘cept damn Stu musta been reading my mind. Just as I was ready to make my lunge, he grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around. "I think it is time we were gettin' back, Mr. President." I like when they say it that way. I makes me think back to the time when all I had to do was snap my fingers and some gal would come in, drop to her knees and unzip my pants. Those were the good ol' days. Damn that Monica, why doesn't she return my calls.

I got some dumb ol' speakin' engagement tonight. Usually I look forward to such things, since there is always the off-chance I can snag a minute with some skank in a dark corner or somethin'. But Hil set me up to do some fund-raisin' at some homo club. I just know I am gonna get my ass pinched or somethin'. I think she does these things on purpose. She really does hate me, you know? Now where the fuck is that damn blue pin-striped suit? If they are gonna be lookin' at my ass, I might as well make it presentable.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?

Dog & Pony Show: Day 1

Well, at 8:15am, I was in the courthouse ready to begin another rousing Dog & Pony Show. I spoke with my client about needing to sign an application for probation, and he declines, then the DA approaches me with a much better offer, which my client still declines. I think my client's chances of getting acquitted are slim, but he refuses to budge, saying either the jury convicts him or they let him go. So, off to the Dog & Pony Show we go. The jury panel arrived approximately 9:30 am. The court had actually ordered a double panel, thinking there might be two trial possibilities this week, but everyone else fell through but mine so we had a shitload of possible jurors. After the general qualification questions, the judge allowed anyone who had some excuse to come forward to explain their reasons. Approximately 25 people came forward and came up with one excuse after another. Most were pretty good excuses, but not valid excuses for jury service, but with so many, both the DA and I agreed one after another to allow them to go. I think we kept 2 out of the 25, and those two had not really wanted off, just thought maybe they were not qualified.

We break, come back, and then the DA starts questioning the prospective jurors to discover what biases, experiences, and what-not they might have that would make them less than desirable jurors for this case. He is not finished when lunchtime arrives, so we recess for lunch.

After lunch, he resumes for about another 10 minutes. Then I get up and do my questioning and spiel for about 45 minutes. I have never felt like it was necessary to go over the same ground as the state, but I see other attorneys who think they have to do it because it is on their outline. I do my outline for each individual trial, on the fly. That is how I have always tried criminal cases, on the fly. There is actually so little you can find out about testimony until it occurs, because there is no discovery in criminal cases in Texas. Well, there is, but the DA's always say they have an open file policy, and they do. You can look all through their file and take whatever notes you wish, but you can't get copies of anything. Mostly anything you get is an outline or case report anyway, and what the police officers say on the stand is usually much more than they write down. They have learned to make their statement brief, so that they do not lock themselves into facts. That makes it easier for them to change things to counter any defenses you propose.

Anyway, the jury was finally seated, and the real show starts tomorrow. The police officers take the stand and tell their side of the story. I already prepped the jury on my "truth is relevant to perception" philosophy, so tomorrow we see if they paid any attention. I actually like this jury. It is a lot of housewives and blue collar workers. Much better than the usual 12 bankers, accountants, and engineers I get. They are so ultra-conservative as a rule that they require the defendant to prove his innocence before voting for acquittal.

It is amazing how few people understand picking a jury. You don't pick them, you pick the ones that you know or think will not be good for your side, the other side does the same, and then you use the ones left over. You don't pick good jurors, you eliminate bad ones ... or at least try to do so.

I guess what I love the best is that there are so many attorneys in the world, and so few who really love to do the whole Dog & Pony Show! I love jury trials. It is the closest to stand-up I ever get. I got quite a few laughs today. And they really liked my tie. I know, I asked them.

It's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Kelley from Suburban Blight has returned from vacation and posted a very long and extensive Cul-de-Sac. I scanned the listing and saw bunches of bloggy goodness for your reading pleasure. She even made a passing remark that you should stop by here and see one of my less interesting posts. She really shouldn't have.

I may need some time to recover from the shock of it all.

Hot and Sticky, and not talking pancakes

Well, the day started off on the cool side so I did not see any reason to turn on the air conditioning. In fact it was a bit chilly, so I put on a t-shirt to fend off the goosebumps. Comfortably I sat before this very same computer all day blogging endlessly, finally cranking on the fan directly behind me when it began to warm up. So intent was I to put every inane thought that entered my head down for everyone to not read today, as I became thoroughly convinced that no one was reading anything I wrote anyway, I did not notice that it continually got warmer and warmer. In fact, I failed to notice how very warm it had gotten until after the sun had set. This house has gotten down-right hot and sticky. While my navel has remained at normal body temperature, it is definitely sticky. I did a very thorough inspection to ensure that none of the lint or loose threads from the t-shirt had become lodged in its moist interior. Surprisingly, but thankfully, nothing was found. Well, nothing was found except a slimy film of sticky moisture. The normally soft hairs that outline the perimeter of the navel area are matted against the skin. It is not a pretty sight. Hopefully another round of immersion into a goodly amount of hot, sudsy water will replenish all to their ideal state. That concludes tonight's report.

Watch where you're aimin' Buster!

Oh George, can you believe this game?

attribution: Da Goddess via LeeAnn

Need some cheese for that cracker?

Woohoo, LeeAnn is back, after I had given her up for dead. the cheese stands alone is back on my blogroll, and full of cheesy goodness. Go visit and welcome her back!

Recall the Warren Commission!

It seems someone has discovered the identity of the second sniper in the Kennedy assassination.

How many kids does it take to make a band?

Cherry has a picture of her family orchestra on her blog. Cherry is the cute one.

Episode No. 2

OK, time to get comfortable, put your feet up and get ready for another glimpse into the life of your old friend Wicked Willie.

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

This is goin' to be short, ‘cause Hil will be gettin' home from shoppin' soon. Had a really rough day. Seems Hil was dead set on us makin' an appearance in church this mornin'. I had to put on that damn blue pin-striped suit again. I hate that suit. It crawls right up the crack of my ass. I wanted to throw it out, but Hil bought it and she thinks I look so great wearin' it. She picked Chelsea up on the way in last night, and it was good to see my Punkin' again. She is not looking as pudgy as last time I saw her. Too bad, though, 'cause she was gettin' a real skanky look goin' there for a bit. Now she looks too damn preppy. Anyway, Punkin' will be goin' back to school soon, so gonna be awhile before we all get together, least that is why Hil thought it was good for us to be goin' to the church this morning.

It really sucked, though, ‘cause I had my mind all set to call up this gal I met the other night. Seems she took a likin' to me, so I figured with the gals all off to the church, I could sneak her up here for some R&R, if ya get my drift. Well, so I went to church. It was a real snoozer, as usual, with the parson just blabbering about sins and stuff. I really never pay no mind to any of that. I figure that if I could sell the American people on what a decent guy I was enough to get them to elect me to that big white house in Washington, I won't have no difficulty gettin' St. Peter to open those Pearly Gates for me after I am gone. Church is for losers, but you didn't hear me say that.

Well, after church, Hil and Punkin' decided to go into town to do some shoppin'. Hil wants to make sure Punkin' has enough of them preppy clothes to snag a worthwhile man to assist her in her climb up the ladder of success. I heard Hil tell her to be careful and not fall for some loser like her old man. That really hurt, you know. I was the damn President of the United States and just becuase I get caught with my pants down one time, all of a sudden I am a loser in the eyes of my wife and child. It just ain't fair.

Well, they really wanted to drag me along on their shopping trip, but I said the sermon gave me a headache, so they let me ride home with Stu and Benji in the green car and they took the limo into the city. I thought, cool, now I can call Heather. I ran right up here and picked up the blue phone, the one with the secure line, and dialed in the number from the card she had given me. I hear this sweet voice on the other end. "Hello?"

"Heather? Is that you? It's me, Willie!"

"Oh! Hi Willie. Heather is not in, but she was expecting your call."

"Not in! I only got an hour or two free time. When is she gonna be back?"

"Well, she is out on a call, but I can come up if you'd like."

"Seems me and Heather had talked about an arrangement. She was gonna do something special for me."

"Oh, she told me. The blue dress thing. Yeah, I can do that."

"Can you get up here. I am really needin' some assistance."

"Yes, I can get right on the way. All I need is your credit card number."

"Credit card number? I can't be putting something like this on a credit card."

"Oh, don't worry about that sweetie, it shows to be a charge from a book store."

At that point, I just hung up. Hell I would have an easier time explainin' to Hil that I bought a hooker than I would tryin' to explain to her why I bought a bunch of books. She would be really suspicious if I bought a bunch of books. She would be thinkin' I was tryin' to find a way to be smarter than she is. Damn that Monica, why won't she return my calls? I wonder if Jennifer Flowers remembers me? I seem to have her number around here some place.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?

The High-Speed Blues, music and lyrics by ***

So, want to know why I am stuck with dial-up? Check out the extended entry for the screen shot from my latest check as to available high-speed service to my address.

Do these pants make me look fat?

Well, as you might can tell, I did a bit of sprucing on the old blog today. I mean, after all, it was so quiet, and I just was not in the mood to post a bunch of stuff no one was gonna read anyway, so did a bit of changing to make things a bit more interesting. So, anyone like what I did to the place? You don't have to anwer if you aren't here, OK?

Is it pun to be groan?

John Cole has posted a couple of real groaners.

In anticipation of it all

I was just in the kitchen opening a can of biscuits. I always hate opening a can of biscuits. You hold the can in your hand and slowly unwrap that label off until the can bursts open to reveal the biscuits inside. I just hate the anticipation of that can popping open in my hand. I don't know why, as I have never been harmed in any way, it is the just not knowing that makes it so hard to do.

It is a lot like getting a shot, I guess. You sit there, not wanting to look, just anticipating that needle being stuck into your skin and imagining the pain that will accompany it. Seldom does the pain actually bother me, it is just the anticipation that it might be different this time.

I find the opposite reaction to sexual anticipation. Although it has been some time since I actually had any sexual encounters, I actually do reflect upon those few recent ones quite often. I find that I actually seem to enjoy the anticipation of the sexual activity much more than I enjoy the sexual act itself. Craving the tactile sensation when someone touches and caresses your skin is a more intense sensation than the actual touching and caressing. I remember when my wife was alive, sometimes she would call me at work and tell me how very horny she was and how she could just not wait until I got home. I would be excited for the rest of the day, just imagining what was to come. On many of these occasions, her feelings would have changed by the time I actually arrived and I did not realize the actual activity I had eagerly anticipated throughout the day. My wife was sick and the chemicals in her body changed rapidly from minute to minute on some days. I never got upset that she changed her mind, because I was aware that the day's anticipation of the night's activities was more likely the highlight of that activity anyway.

Hmm, the thoughts one gets while opening a can of biscuits.

Well, Hell's bells, something smells

OK, so maybe my Wicked Willie™ series is not gonna be the hit I thought it was. Should I just kill any ideas of a continuation of this series?

Tony is still Always Right

Well the contest is over, and, surprisingly, the voting concluded that the new name of I Am Always Right should be I Am Always Right.

Too many criminals or are laws too strict?

The Justice Department reported last week that at the end of 2001, more than 5.6 million adults -- one in every 37 U.S. adults -- were either in state or federal prison or had done prison time during their lives.*

What does this say about American society? Almost 2.5% of all Americans have served prison time? Does that include all the ones who were charged, given probated sentences, and successfully fufilled served out their probation? If not, I suspect those numbers would increase the percentage of Americans who have been charged with a major crime. This is both alarming and appalling. Is our society so decadent and evil? I disbelieve that we have this many truly bad people in our country. I just can't do that. In fact, as a criminal defense attorney for a number of years, I find that most of those charged with crimes are not all that evil, are not all that bad, and mostly are just stupid or did something stupid. Money, or the lack or it, has a lot to do with the propensity of someone to do something categorized as criminal, whether it be selling drugs, using drugs or taking something of value from someone else. Sex seems to be the second motivation for people doing something that would be categorized as criminal. Most violent crimes seem to take place in the household and are emotional reactions. They are very disturbing, but often the situation is the result of the several people's activity, and yet only one gets punished. I still don't know all the answers, but the continual warehousing of people is such a big drain on the government coffers, it seems there should be some discussion of alternatives.

*This quote comes from 2002 crime rate lowest since studies began in 1973, report finds CURT ANDERSON, Associated Press Writer as reported on SFGate.com. attribution: TalkLeft

So long, virus attacks?

Kathy Kinsley provides links to free virus protection and firewall programs. If you do not have both of these types of programs installed, please do so. I mean, after all, if you can do it for nothing and it might save you big bucks if you had to hire someone to erradicate a nasty virus from your system, it does make a bit of sense to take precautions, doesn't it? Oh, and please stop opening those email attachments that come from senders you don't recognize. In fact, I don't even open ones from senders I recognize unless it is something I was expecting.

I am geek/0™ and yet have been online for almost a decade without ever having gotten a virus infection. I am pretty sure I have only gotten alarms from protection programs on a couple of occasions. You do not have to be a techno-wiz to keep your system secure, you just have to use common sense. Uh, and in additon to those programs that Kathy provided, I think everyone should have Ad-Aware. It is also free for personal use. It is very useful for tracking down those data miners that send personal information to websites through cookies.*

*Or at least I think this is what it does. Some techie might be able to explain it more correctly, but I do think my explanation gets to the gist of the matter.

Pulp goes the weasles

Graham Lester has pegged the way to create a Hollywood blockbuster, or how to make a thoroughly bad movie.

BUSH headed for trouble?

Howard has analyzed a Newsweek poll announced on Voice of America and suggests the problem with the Bush administration may lie at the feet of Rumsfeld. I actually may be one of the few, according to the results of this poll, who think the administration is actually doing a fairly good job in Iraq. However, I am wondering how America feels about the absolute worst part of the Bush Administration: Attorney Gemeral Ashcroft. I mean the guy appears to have no compassion for anyone or to show any qualms about stepping all over the rights of any person, American or otherwise.

What do women really know about men?

One thing that I have to do almost daily is check my hotmail accounts. Oops, I guess I let it slip that I have several*. I actually have accounts on Netscape** and Yahoo*** too, but mostly, I use the hotmail accounts more than any. Why? Well, primarily because with MSN Explorer I can easily sign in to each individual account just by clicking the appropriate icon. So, where is this going? Well, upon initiation of the browser in each account, I am taken to the MSN Explorer home page. I see this page on several occasions during the day, and I usually check to see if there is anything interesting on that day's offerings. Today, I found something I did think was worth sharing: 10 myths women have about men. I won't make you go to the MSN homepage to see it, however, and have published the whole article in the extended entries.

*I actually have one predominant hotmail account that I use. The additional accounts usually relate to one program that I have downloaded and had to give an email address to register. I found that by creating a new email address for use with each program, I could actually track which ones of them were selling off addresses to SPAMMERS. Most of reputable companies got good marks.

**This address was primarily associated with my now defunk comic strip site, and I rarely even check it. I am not ever sure it exists.

***This address is primarily connected with my Yahoo personal ad. It gets very little traffic, except for the hundreds of SPAM messages for penis enlargement pills.

10 myths women have about men By Susan Hayden

As perceptive as women can be, they have yet to figure out the male psyche — an interesting and sometimes frightening place from which men forge their own unique approach to life.

To gain a little perspective on man and his muse, we approached a variety of men with some of the more common female perceptions of them. Not surprisingly, we found out that a lot of those beliefs are, in fact, misperceptions, and the guys we spoke with were more than eager to clear them up.

Though a highly subjective survey, here are some of the more interesting truths revealed from the mouths of men:

1. Men are not interested in what women have to say
"Men are interested in what women have to say," countered Chris, 27, "as long as it involves one of the following: Our favorite sport, our favorite activity or your naked body. For example, many men would find it extremely interesting if a woman said, 'A couple of years ago, I got so drunk that I showed up nude to a football game.'"

2. Men want somebody who is just like their mother
"Men do want somebody who will love them like dear old Mom," admits Eric, 42. "But sometimes Mom also annoys us; we don't want you to be like that. So love, nurture and spoil like her — just don't be her."

3. Men only think about sex
"Well, yeah," says Paul, 34. "Thinking about sex takes up a good portion of our brain power, but we don't spend all of our free time pondering when we'll make our next move." Paul also adds, "There are actually plenty of women who are more interested in sex than we are."

4. He's spoiling me, so he must have plenty of money
"No, I don't," assures Brady, 49. "I'm going a little outside my comfort level to woo you, but plan to return gradually to my normal level as you fall, hopefully, madly in love with me."

5. If I sleep with him on the first date, he won't respect me
"Not necessarily," suggests Juan, 21. "My impression of you is based more on how you treat me and how we connect than whether or not we're intimate on the first date."

6. I can change him
"No, you can't," replies Jacques, 30. "Oh, you might get us to behave differently for a while. We might wear some newer shirts or clean up after ourselves for a few weeks, but I'm only doing it because I want to do — at least that is what I'm telling myself."

7. Men are interested in my dating history
"I couldn't care less about your sexual history," says Thomas, 19. "I don't care if you've had one or 20 partners; just don't tell me about any of them."

8. Men don't like women who make the first move.
"Sure we do," returns Romero, 39. "It's less work for us and shows us you have good taste."

9. Men prefer inexperienced women
"That's one of the great myths," admits Chuck, 52. "In reality, we'd rather be with someone who knows what they're doing."

10. Men are strong
"No," assures Michael, who just turned 40. "We're babies, especially when we've got a cold or you break our hearts.

It might be better than an Instalanche

Well, it does seem that I am now #1 on the returns for a Google search on filthy lingerie.* What with all those sex-crazed perverts out there in the World Wide Web, I suspect I can expect a lot of hits from that positioning. Of course, I still seem to be getting plenty of hits on searches for michael jackson bankrupt and ted williams head is still leading in the current Google search hits, but somehow, I see filthy lingerie as being in such demand as to bring a regular number of hits for a long, long time to come.

While I sometimes think that the hits I get off of the search engines are really inane and probably do not affect my actual readership, I was delighted to discover someone from Japan visited my page looking for picture of horny toad. I do have a link on that post to an actual picture of a horny toad. I might not have picked up a regular reader, but I did do someone a service. That is a satisfying feeling.

*The bizarre part of this scenario is that the post that is linked on Google is a blurb about my having been #12 on an MSN search for the same words.

Poor Susie didn't sleep

As you can likely see, last night's report is very, very late. My internet connection was very intermittent, there was no traffic in the Blogosphere and I had stared at annika's navel armada with fantasies of a more in-depth, personal examination of each and every one of those lovely navels. Further observation is therefore necessary before a report on that submission shall be ready. However, as to the reason this report is given late is that I fell asleep very early last night.

As for your favorite navel, it was observed for reaction during the point where I was examining the photograph of those succulent feminine navels, and it did quiver a bit during that time. I am unsure if the response of said navel was due to its own volition or was a reaction to the movements of its close neighbor that seemed to be getting quite excited during my fascination and fantasizing about my in-depth, personal examination of each one of those succulent feminine navels. Such fantasy was short-lived, however, as I imagined the futility of such dream. The navel relaxed as its neighbor lost interest in the game. End of this report.

Excuse the mess, please

I am really sorry for the postings made today so far. Maybe it is the start of the new school year, the upcoming Labor Day weekend and the ending of summer, or just because it is Satruday, but this has not only been a dreadfully slow newsday,* but there has been an appalling lack of blogging.

I only mention this because there may be some of you who are visiting this blog for the first time. Excuse this mess of crap posted today and just scroll down to the posts from yesterday. They are more indicative of what you generally find on this blog. Thank you for your attention and your readership.

*There were actually a couple of news stories on which to report, but the other 3 or 4 bloggers blogging today all said something about them. I do try not to redundantly post those stories that everyone else has already reported, unless I actually have something to add.

Homey don't play that game

Now has all this link contest stuff gone far enough? To me, it just does not seem to be all that entertaining or even worth that much effort just to get a link on a blog.

attribution: McGehee

Another new blogger

It seems that OLDCATMAN has a blog-child of his own. Well actually, it is OLDCATMAN's actual fully grown, 42-year-old son, who has decided good old dad is having so much fun blowing brain farts that he wants to ramble a bit about being an Average White Guy. He started Thursday. Not doing bad for a beginner, and like me, he is a widower. They did have a kid before his wife died, however, so he is having to raise his 9-year-old daughter without a mother. I bet he will be having some interesting tales to tell in the future. Right now, he seems to be getting his feet wet and getting the hang of the blogging game. Do give his blog a look. You might actually like it. ;)

Delightedly blind-sided

When I saw a blurb about Jimmie "JJ" Walker having a blog,* I expected something very different than what I found. He talks about real issues and presents his viewpoints well. What is very surprising is that his viewpoints are much more conservative than I would have ever imagined. I loved this entry:

Jimmie on Dating…
At this stage of his life, Walker realizes he'll never marry. He admits that he's too self-centered, and selfish. While he admires people that have and raise children, he prefers not to have or date women with children.
He says rather than send troops to Iraq... we should send divorced women with children... they're the angriest ... meanest seqment...of american society... He doesn't date much, saying he's too boring. Because of his busy road schedule, when he's at home he's a real homebody. He prefers to stay at home ,watch T.V. (C-span, Fox News and Sports), workout and have quiet dinners.Women must go out...all the time...and Walker loves being at home , ladies won't accept stayin' at home. His loves are politics, talk radio (sports and politics), and working out. He says that totally leaves him out of the dating scene, even though he has secret crushes on newscasters, Nora O'Donnell, Dana Bash , Lynda Lopez , Carol Costello ,Carol Chandler, Lila Feng, Suzzann Malveaux, Brook Anderson , Liz Cho, Lynda Loveland, Alicia Acuna ,Jenny Harrison, Ann Coulter, Linda Stouffer, and Kathleen Kennedy. He prefers to date hassle-free women, which he jokingly says, there aren't any of those left.

*It kinda looks like a blog, but the posts are not time stamped and there are no permalinks.

Bloggy Goodness relocates

Yes, Anna has deserted blogspot and moved here. Kindly adjuct your linkage appropriately.

Crocodile tears of laughter

The title is all I got, sorry. Just read this.

attribution: uh, site loaded so slow, I closed the page where I found the link. I forget where I found it. bad ***! [slapped my own hand] sorry!

[Update: attribution: McGehee by way of Transterrestrial Musings]

Episode No. 1

Well, Rusty has passed, and so for your entertainment, I had to find some other old geezer to pass along his wisdom. I hope ya'll like the one I found. He is just a lonely old guy sitting by himself most of the time, wishing some old friends would drop by or something. I hope you enjoy his thoughts:

Wicked Willie lives on the upper floor of a lavish mansion on a secluded estate. Once the leader of the free world, he fell from grace as the woman who stood behind him walked over his back on her climb to success. Now a mere disbarred attorney, he is often left alone, with just the company of Stu and Benji, his two federally-assigned bodyguards. He just sits around playing pocket pool, and allows his thoughts to drift on some of the more important things in life. Here are his thoughts. Maybe you will get a chuckle or two and maybe you will even agree with parts of what he has to say.

First Edition: August 2003 - updated when Willie get the itch

Just sittin' here thinkin' back to the days when me and Hil was young and she used to care about my poor wee willie a bit more'n she does now. I am pretty sure she don't give a whit about my willie anymore. Maybe I am the only one who cares about my willie. Seems Monica won't return my calls.

I was talkin' to a fella the other day and why we was talkin' ‘bout not gettin' any, he said somethin' like how most people liked only to mess with them of the other sex, but there was them homos that liked to lay down with their own kind, and then there was bunches of horny people that didn't care if'n they laid with their own kind or the other sort, just whatever they could do to ease their horniness. When he was sayin' that, I kinda thought about Hil. I ain't sure if'n she is gettin' some with some other guy or some other gal, but she sure ain't gettin' some with me. Her choice though, not mine.

Anyways, that fella I was talkin' to was real nice, like. He had a pretty smile and he winked at me when we parted. He said, "I would like to to see more of ya sometime," and then he winked. That was a really nice fella.

Now, another thing that I been thinkin' on is this Ben Affeck fella. Now what is this deal, he was hangin' with that Jennifer Lopez but now he is hangin' with that Britney Spears. Does that guy have thing for skanks or what? Speakin' of skanks, if you read this Monica, call me, please! I'm desperate, baby.

Stu walked in the other day and caught me with my pants down. Tweren't no one with me. Sad, huh? I was just playing wank the willie all by myself. Sure do miss the days when I could just call on an intern or something. It sucks to be a has-been.

That new fella that took over my old house in Washington sure does have a pretty wife. I bet she takes better care of his willie than I came to ‘spect from Hil. See, I couldn't ever tell the public that I woulda never been doin' Monica if ol' Hil had been doin' what a wife is supposed to do. All'n she was ever worried about was her career and that damn health care stuff.

See people didn't know the real Hil. Well, maybe some of them old cronies of mine in the Arkansas Statehouse did, cause I know they often referred to her as "Chilly Hilly." As skanks go, she was the coldest skank I ever ran across, and damn, but she is the skank I went and married.

Well, I wish I had a good ride, so ya'll come on back here if'n ya need what I got to give, ya hear?

Allegorical Analogies or something like that

According to some of the Blog War propoganda I have seen around, this might also apply to a few bloggers. [read more]

Thanks michele*

*who seemed to have found such at some place called Blue Green Egg.

Take a goofy idea, add all parts of California . . .

Ding! Ding! Ding! Lead by example....what a concept. Hitlery Klintoon's dream of, "It takes a village to raise a child", is coming true.

"Welcome to McDonkville! How may I control your life today?" Serenity

Shiftless blame shifting

[faux frog™ news story] “Citizens of the U.S. experience heat waves or summers that are just generally hotter than France. The widespread availability of cooling systems in cars, offices and homes, a singularly American luxury, prevents the kind of widespread deaths there that we’re seeing in the less technology-absorbed Europe.” Erica

George, there are 20 of 'em

I put up 20 posts under yesterday's date. I do need to get a life.*

*Right now, however, I think getting some sleep would be an ideal idea.

Another inane Google Search

I get so many hits from Google searches, the most popular of late is Ted Williams Head. However, I am most delighted to currently be #2 for faux frog!

Something from real life®

I was in court today for some really easy stuff, like telling the judge these two cases he wants to dismiss because no action is being taken are fine with me to dismiss because they were all settled out of court: one had been to get a receiver to sell a house, and upon being served with papers on the case, the other party just agreed to sell the house, and the other was a child custody matter where the opposing party went to prison so my client got custody without making further payments on his case. The judge was late, and I actually had another hearing in another courtroom* that I needed to get to soon. I was just hanging around, spouting off about how the next county is needing to build a new jail because they are short on space, and in my opinion they would not be needing to do so if the DA was not so hard-headed when it came to plea negotiations. The court reporter said something about me not being afraid to climb on my soapbox.

It reminded me of yesterday's Chamber of Commerce luncheon when the President of the Chamber asked the lady next to me if she would mind getting called on to lead the invocation. She declined for some reason, I forget, and the President said she would ask this other person. I asked, "How come you never ask me to lead the invocation?" She said, "I am always a bit afraid of what you will say." I think she knows me pretty well, huh?

*I really thought this was weird. We have a County Judge that normally holds court one day a month, and two district judges that sit in the next county with which we share both such disticts who each hold court in the county once a month. So we regularly have court three days in the month. Normally, though, the district courts hold court on Wednesdays. County Court holds court on Friday. We already had County Court this month, but this was like a special day where there were a bunch of really old cases and some JP Appeals. The County Court rarely does any civil business, so this might be the once yearly Civil Court day. We also had already had both District Court days, but Monday starts Jury Week, one about every three months, so the District Court was handling pre-trial matters in readilness for next week's jury trials possibles. We only have one courtroom, unless you use the Commissioner's Court room. Today, it was used. District Court was held at 1:30 and thankfully the County Court was beginning at 2:00. I easily walked across the street to the other building where the Commissioner's Court is housed after my bried appearance in District Court to appear for my County Court matter. It was a JP Appeal that was dismissed because the party presenting the appeal did not appear. I guess she decided it was easier to move out of that house than to pay the attorney she hired to prosecute the appeal.

The quest continues

Efforts in finding a suitable guest navel continue, although arduous innuendos directed toward annika have not yet netted results. As such, the regular navel is being diligently observed and appears to be mostly unchanged from last observation. Wait, there is a small bit of something in there. What is it? Oh, a grain of salt. A quick belly shake should dislodge it. It does. Navel returns to idealistic state. End of report.

Chuckles the Clown, an inanity by ***

Another funny picture over at SilverBlue. Where does he find this stuff? I must be in the wrong timezone or something. ;)

Watch your back, Glenn Reynolds

Some new blogger is whining about his readership. If he checks his site tracker stats to see who is reading his blog, maybe he will make it here to see me tell him, no comments and on blog*spot, not a good combination for great readership potential. Readership takes time.

And for that blogger and any other really new bloggers who happen to read this, a tip, really don't get a tracker until you have been blogging for a couple of months, seriously. It is much easier to build readership by just posting stuff that you enjoy posting, and not worrying so much about who is reading it. After you find your niche, and begin to get some comments and feedback and are sure you are gaining some continuous readership, then you start checking your stats.

Readership development for new bloggers 101: Read other blogs and comment on their sites. Most of us are narcissistic enough to check out who is commenting, especially if we like the comments. Build a blog friend ring, if possible, with blogs that are in the younger/newly started group, and link back and forth to each other. That assists the whole group. When someone ventures onto one of the blogs, they find links to the others. This will increase popularity for the whole group.

James felt sorry and started a Parkwaylanche. James actually has a good readership, has no comments and is on blog*spot, so he is the exception to the rule. ;)

Ya just never know - do ya?

Seems some j. mccune, a dude or maybe dudette, it being so hard to know unless you actually see whether they have boobs or not, decided he/she liked my blogrolling baldilocks so much, he/she decided to link my blurb. OK, he/she got my attention, so, being the kind blogger that I am, I decided to peruse his/her blog: Notorious B.L.O.G.. During this perusal I find a delightful tale regarding another trademark infringement case. I likely would have missed that but for that trackback.

blogrolled as well

"I know where you live"

Now wouldn't this give you nightmares?

Late last week someone broke into the house, being relatively careful not to break anything, and nothing was stolen. But sources said the burglars also made it clear they wanted the victim and her family to know they had been there.

They said whoever broke in moved several items and locked the family dogs in a bathroom. [full story]

attribution: Kevin [WizBang!]

It couldn't have been any better*

"This is not the Daily MonopolyL.A. Times, the San Francisco Chronicle or even the Orange County Register. It. Is. A. Blog. On a typical day, I'm lucky to get more than 200 unique visitors, many from out of state. Meanwhile, at least 8 million Californians are expected to vote on October 7. Do the math.

Put differently, the chances of some snarky remarky on this blog having any measurable impact on the success of your favorite candidate on October 7 is about the same as the odds that you will be personally invited to burp the national anthem at Carnegie Hall. If he/she can't stand the infinitesimal amount of heat generated by one medium-traffic blog with a barely-pronounceable name, then he/she shouldn't go within a 500 foot radius of the kitchen.

That is all." Xrlq

*Kathy K has me channelling country tunes now. See comments to this post.

It don't float my boat

"Next Gray will be patrolling street corners in sequinned hot pants" Cracker Barrel Philosopher.

Now Tiger says - - -

I am going to post this entire posting I found at The Volokh Conspiracy:

[Eugene Volokh, 5:11 PM]

Pointless parentheticals: How Appealing quotes this line (for a reason irrelevant to this post),

Chittakone Chanthasouxat ('Chanthasouxat') and Keopaseuth Xayasane ('Xayasane') (collectively, 'Defendants') appeal their convictions for drug-related offenses

and says in passing "Of course, a persuasive argument can be made that all three of those parentheticals are unnecessary too, but don't get me started."

Well, this does get me started. Why do lawyers think it's helpful to have obvious parentheticals like this? If there is only one Chanthasouxat in the case, people will release [sic] that Chanthasouxat refers to that Chanthasouxat. If there is more than one, then you shouldn't call either Chanthasouxat. Likewise, there were exactly two defendants in the cases being considered in the opinion; who else would "Defendants" refer to?

Sometimes, a parenthetical like this may be helpful, for instance when one is introducing an acronym that's common enough to be worth using, but not so common that it's obvious. But often -- as here -- the abbreviation (whether a last name or "defendants") is so utterly obvious that I just see no reason at all to include it.

Grrr. Well, feels good to get that off my chest.

Chittakone Chanthasouxat (hereinafter referred to as "Idiot C") and Keopaseuth Xayasane (hereinafter referred to as "Idiot X") (collectively hereinafter referred to as "Idiots") appeal their convictions for drug-related offenses.

Chittakone Chanthasouxat (hereinafter referred to as "Persecuted Citizen C") and Keopaseuth Xayasane (hereinafter referred to as "Persecuted Citizen X") (collectively hereinafter referred to as "Persecuted Citizens") appeal their convictions for drug-related offenses.

He likes it, he really likes it!

I blogrolled baldilocks! Thanks Ith, who thanked Jay.

I think I need a bigger hat

"Actually, I don't know if the Pentagon is a well known fact or not so let's keep it under our hats, eh?" Jaboobie

There are two sides to every story

So how come these poor people can't seem to find out why some Feds kicked their door in, handcuffed them, searched their home, and then left without finding anything? Governmental Oppression Ashcroft-style.

FOX vs. Franken: Finalized

Well, it seems the judge in the FOX vs. Franken case has issued a fair and balance ruling. "There are hard cases and there are easy cases," the judge said. "This is an easy case. This case is wholly without merit, both factually and legally." It a parody, FOX, fair use, no injunction for you, the book goes to stores.* End of story.

attribution: Volokh

*and I ain't buyin' it, but what do you bet all the press makes it a hot item?**

**I actually might put a sticker on it saying something like this book is being sold against the wishes of FOX and their attorneys.

News Flash!

-- Alabama chief justice suspended pending outcome of ethics complaint for defying court order to move Ten Commandments. via CNN email updates

Why Tiger?

Commenter the girl* in the following post asked:

Is your Tiger name a reference to American Graffiti? This has nothing to do with the entry, but I felt I must ask.

When I was a little boy, my Dad always called me Terry the Tiger. I am not sure why I got that nickname, but it was better than my brother's: Podink P. Possum. My sister was merely Pete. This nickname faded away and disappeared after I grew up. Some of the kids in high school tried to tag me with the nickname Lizard, but after I pelted several of them with some sizeable rocks, they decided it was best not to call me that.

When I was practicing law in Dallas, there was a pretty well-known attorney there called Tiger Leach. I am not sure if he is still alive, but have no reason to think otherwise. I never did attempt to use such nickname there, and just was glad to be called Terry.

However, when I first moved to this area, everyone was always telling me about this attorney that used to be here back in the old moonshining days, a Rhodes' scholar, reknown to have single-handedly scored on an opposing team when at Baylor**, who lived in a cave, and all other kinds of legendary stuff. His name was Bull Adams. Well, I came here with the goal of becoming equally legendary, so figured the only way to compete with a "Bull" was to have an equally formidable nickname. Tiger, although abandoned for a number of years, already belonged to me. It was rightfully still my nickname. It doesn't hurt that the local football team is also called the Tigers.

*Is this an alias for Nicole?

**Legend has it that for some reason all the other members of the Baylor squad were disqualified, injured or something, so instead of forfeiting, Bull Adams took the field by himself, picked up the ball, and, with several opposing players hanging all over his immense frame, plodded down the field to score a touchdown. I am not sure if he kicked the extra point or went for the two point conversion. The legend is a bit hazy in parts.

A Friday Joke from Frank

OK, my local friend Frank decided ya'll should have another Friday Funny, so sent me one via email. It is a bit risqué, so venture into the extended entries at your own risk.

Two old men decide they are close to their last days on earth and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "go up to the first two rooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.

These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The two men go up the stairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home the first one says, "You know, I think my girl was dead!"

"Dead?" says his friend, "why would you think that?"

"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."

His friend says, "I think mine was a witch."

"WITCH!!! Why the hell would you say that?"

"Well, I was making love to her, kissing on her neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window.

Susie pings and scores! The crowd goes wild!

Well Susie has found the time to slather a bit of linky love all over the place. I particularly loved what she said about the Nightly Navel Gazing Report™ being worthy of your attention.

A little bit of this and that

Thanks to Glenn of Hi. I'm black!, I found this entry about one blogger's dissatisfaction of being outed by a reporter:

Here's the thing: remember when I said yesterday my archives and images were going to be messed up because I was cleaning up? I lied. In reality I agreed to give an interview to a local reporter about blogging on the condition that my URL wasn't published. The reporter didn't follow through with our agreement, and my URL was published in a regional newspaper. Both my boss and my mother-in-law read the paper in question cover to cover every day. I panicked a bit. [Nicole: go fish]

In my interview, Paul asked, due to the honest nature of what I disclose about myself, if there was anything I wish I had not published, or something along those lines. I basically said I wasn't afraid of telling the truth about myself.

I am not sure I want everyone in my local area to read this blog. I live in a small town, and I really don't want my comments to become a forum for discussion of local issues. I have had some of my local friends who do read regularly ask me why I don't discuss local items more often. Well, mostly, I think it is because, except for those things I experience first hand, most of what I could discuss is based upon gossip, hearsay and the grapevine, and except for select locals, would be of very little interest to anyone unfamiliar with small town life in this small town in particular. I mean our weekly rag, and a rag it is, already reports on all the local car wrecks, who was arrested and convicted,* how much rainfall we received over the last week, some items about what is happening in the school, what the county commisioners are doing, and some other items. There are no editorials or letters to the editor, and I am pretty sure the majority of the people buy it to find the garage sale ads in the classifieds. I don't want to do local editorials on this blog, and I don't want to post letters to the editor. This blog is intended for the world audience. This blog is dedicated to the pursuit of the truth or whatever is funny, whichever comes first. If I wanted the URL of this blog to be reported in the newspaper, I could just buy an ad and publicize it.

*However, they never seem to report on the results of trials where someone is aquitted or on those cases in which the charges were subsequently dropped.

Friday Joke

Well, the Friday joke list came in from Cherry's Dad, via Cherry and here is the one I liked best:

A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.

She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you one thing . . . there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight.

Friday Fun™

OK, MSN has listed 10 Words You Simply Must Know. Wouldn't it be fun to compose a post using all 10 of these words? If you should choose to embark on this exciting adventure, please link back to this post so that your efforts can be seen and recognized. Are ya up to it?

i think it was rigged*

annika did not win the sexiest female blogger contest, and, as she is the sexiest female blogger,** hands down, the contest musta been fixed. for shame!

*no use of caps was intended and no equipment malfunction is to blame. it was blogger's conscious choice to post without caps, so there!

**and the only one i have seen naked.***

***i wish.****

****read into that whatever you wish, but it is just a natural male fantasy coming to light.

a-Slippin & a-Slidin'

A Special Edition of The Nightly Navel Gazing Report: Instead of the regular gaze at the navel prior to providing the nightly report, said navel was immersed in a bit of warm, sudsy water, in an area lit solely by candlelight. The navel appeared serene and sudsy bubbles amassed to encircle said navel and creating the semblance of the navel nesting in a halo of soft foam. This visage was softened by the warm glow of said candlelight. As the level of the water continued to rise, the bubbles moved in to conceal said navel from further observation.

Talk about nuthin' to write home about

or to even sit here and write about. Hmmm, seems to be very little going on, at least things that about a million other people haven't reported. Let's see, there are the Blog Wars, but I am not picking sides so don't read any details about such, uh, seems the truce is off between Israel and Hamas, like that is any surprise, they finally caught Chemical Ali, although I am almost sure they reported killing him once early in the war effort, and the 10 Commandments are coming down off the side of the Supreme Court building, in Georgia, I think.

I tripped through the blogroll and saw some interesting stuff, but really nothing I thought was interesting enough to write about. Maybe everyone is having a bad blog day today, or maybe my bad blog day just makes all blogs look blah. I do have 3 out of 4 of the movies I recently ordered waiting to be watched, more so to check the merchandise than to see the movie, as a couple of them I have seen very very recently. Just new additions to my Best Picture Collection. Still awaiting the arrival of Going My Way.

Not done for the night, though, so stay tuned. Surely something exciting will occur at some point in the evening.

The trouble with my connection

My friend Frank, who comments often, came by for a visit today and told me why we have had crappy connections all week. We are with the same ISP although his connection is better as I think he has newer phone lines than I do. Anyway, unlike me, who never calls and listens to their excuses, he had gotten in touch with our provider and it seems one of their servers is down, so the routers are getting backed up. We both suspect that it got hit with the Blaster virus or something, but they are scrambling to find the problem. I knew it the connection was crappier than usual, and, although the problem is still not solved, at least I know why. And, of course, now you know too.

Am I here yet?

Yes, I am actually here. I just have a lot of things one my mind. Nothing of any real importance to any one but me. Nothing all that interesting to anyone else, and not even all that interesting to me. Just life. Sometimes there are parts of it that are not that much fun, like worrying how you are going to get your bills for the month paid when not much is coming in. I will get beyond this, though, in a bit.

Just a quickie

In and out - just wanted to admit I was so brain dead last night when that Instalanche came in, I added that update to the wrong post. Actually the post that Glenn linked was better than the one I thought he linked.

As always, my undying affection for my loyal readers, More to Come .... Later .... I hope!

I guess he did anwer my question

Well, I surmised about what the effect of one little mention on InstaPundit would do to your visitation rate and Glenn did show me. As of this point, his blurb has brought me somewhere about 3000 hits. Of course my the average time that a visitor stayed on the site dropped from approximately 3 minutes to just over 1 minute. I am still number from the giant spike that Instalanche caused on every one of my Site Meter graphs. I have court this morning and am late, so blogging will be light during the day. Please feel free to read through yesterday's offerings, and then start reading your way through my blogroll. There is a lot of bloggy goodness to be found. Have a nice day!

Fueling the flames

It looks like DavidMC is storing fuel for next weeks Bonfire of the Vanities™ [™ is not mine, it belongs to Kevin of WizBang!]

Now let's trip through the Blogosphere for some other flame fodder.

Uh, from what the commenters are saying about this the truthfulness of this photo, Dean needs to toss it on the fire.

Actually, not much to throw away over at OLDCATMAN's place, but the lack of permalinks cost him a blurb. He really is overlooked when you are looking for something interesting to read.

Susie is harping for voters to make Pixy something in the sexiest male blogger contest. Susie actually nominated me also, but the support was lacking. I don't usually do well in contests regarding the sexiest anything ... well except for navels. I do have a sexy navel. I mean if it wasn't something to write home about, why would you be reading those Nightly Navel Gazing Reports?

I dunno, SilverBlue might have gone a bit too far with the inferred imagery on this one.

What? Rocket Jones made no mention of me?

Yikes, this one may not even need to go to the Bonfire. It smoulders on its own: Venomous Kate in for Kelley. Suburban Blight = Snake's Nest? Tread lightly across the threshhold.

Uh, I wasn't quite sure what to make of this.

Now May I please have your attention!*

OK, now that my daily visitation rate has climbed to a sufficient level, I have decided to give up the practice of law and embark on a new career. I am now an online distributor of miracle penis enlargement pills. Discount prices guaranteed. All I need is like 10,000 email addresses. Can I have yours?

I shall be designing a graphical link to display along the top of my blog in the near future. Until that time, if you would like to know more about my fine product, click here.

[ed. note: please note new category name initially being used with this post]

*So how many Google hits do you think I can score off of this entry?

My blogchild is growing up

[beaming blogfather] Is this a blog post, or what? [/beaming blogfather]

Oh my George, it's that time again!

The Nightly Navel Gazing Report™ Try as I might to find a guest navel for gazing upon for this evening's report, no volunteer could be located. As such, the only items to report are that the navel appears normal, is unchanged from its previous gazing observation period, and is otherwise unremarkable. This concludes tonight's report.

Digging my way out

OK, the Instalanche has come, and, although it was a real experience to get 1400 to 1500 hits* from a single link on InstaPundit, I really did not find it to be an enjoyable experience. Why? Well, primarily because it was a link to a post that really was not as worthwhile as that hit rate justifies. In the post below I pointed out one that I think would have been worthy of that amount of readership. I would love to have that many people read some of my political commentary, or just come by each day to find a chuckle or two from one or two of my daily offerings. Heck, I was thinking, myself, that the Nightly Navel Gazing Report was developing into something worth the price of admission: a few minutes of your time.

I may not be an academic. I have a BA in Political Science and a Law Degree, so I do have basic educational background to have a somewhat clear understanding of what goes on in the world. My intelligence may be suspect, but it rates among the higher primates in the jungle. I might not be the top banana in the bunch, but I am outta the reach of the smaller monkeys. I am almost absolutely sure that my crap is worth reading, or, at least, some of it is. I am pretty sure that I have five or six daily readers now, so there are some few who seem to agree that I have something worthwhile to offer.

Yet, I have 1500 visitors come to my site and what do they read? A blurb about the effects that one mention by Glenn Reynolds skyrockets visitation rates, commonly referred to as an Instalanche. Was I being punished for noticing that? Or did I just phrase it in such a way as brought a smile to Glenn's face? Why pick that post as the initial showcase of what I have to offer on my site? No, it really doesn't please me. That spike will go away in a week. Although it blew away all of my previous highs in visitation rates, I mean seriously blew them away, there was nothing unique or interesting enough about that particular post to give anyone a reason to venture to my other offerings.

I did actually post an update in the message after I investigated where people went after hitting the link . I concluded that most such visitors just clicked in, maybe read that mundane (not inane) posting and closed out. I added the update suggesting that an opportunity existed for the visitor to look around a bit. Some did. I think if I ever get another Instalanche, I will do another such update before allowing an hour to pass. I really want readers, not hits. Hits are only prospective readers, and, if what they hit is not choice, they don't stay. I know I don't. I sometimes hit a site two or three times before I blogroll it. How I get there depends on where I find the links: trackbacks, comments, or a link on someone's blog that I read. I want you to read my stuff and I want to want to read yours. I am sure there are people who can find absolutely no interest in anything I have to say and I find there are sites in whose content I absolutely find no interest. I kind of like the people like me: the ones who question stuff; the ones who find humor in everything; the ones who don't get seriously bent out of shape as history unfolds and mother nature does her stuff, the ones who have compassion, trust, and belief in the goodness of mankind; and the ones who want to do their share but are not wanting to do more than their share. I call myself a snarky inaniac™ and I believe that to be a "fair and balanced" way of looking at myself. What do daily readers of mine think?

Run this one up the pole as Tiger Rags about being badly Instalanched.

I suspected as much!

I was checking my visitation rate and noticed quite a jump and when I looked at the graph, I saw that I have over 60 hits last hour.* I thought, Jeez, someone big saw something they liked and people are coming to see what it is. Yes, I did finally get my first blurb on InstaPundit. Of course, he pointed to this post. If I had had my druthers, I wished he had linked to this one, because, despite being something I wrote over 30 years ago, it is something I would like a lot of people to read.

*I have received over 200 in just the first 10 minutes of this hour.

Still needed: your voice

Tony says there has not been enough people voting on which title he needs to use for his new blog name. Please, go vote for B.

If only I had the right stuff

I am almost sure I would not be practicing law if I had the right stuff to make $250 as easily as this.

attribution: Cracker Barrel Philosopher

The train is leaving on Track 7

I don't know how many times I have been to On the Third Hand and seen that tagline saying "Proud Members of the Brigade of Bellicose Women" and wondered if bellicose meant something about being appropriate people for wearing moo-moos instead of parading around clad only in underwear, so decided to finally look it up. Man, was I ever on the wrong track. It means favoring or inclined to start quarrels or wars. Maybe I ought to just stick to navel gazing and give up on thinking, huh?

Why did I think of this?

I was sitting here in my BVDs just thinking why it seemed a guy could walk around the lake all day in nothing but a pair of Speedos and except for the occasional crack about how big his gut was or something, no one thought much about it, but let me go outside clad only in my BVDs to fill the dog water and from the reaction of the neighbors, you would think I had bombed the UN Delegation in Baghdad. So, here I was thinking, why is it such a big deal for people to be seen in public in their underwear? I mean what actually is the purpose of underwear anyway? When gals wore dresses, I could see some reason for the wearing of panties, as I often caught a site of some panties, just wishing I could see what was underneath. And, there has been the occasion when I have neglected to zip up and was glad there was an inner garment to hold sneaky snake from venturing out through the negligently unfastened fly. So, I was thinking, it is not against the law to walk around in your underwear and when it is really hot, you don't really need all those extra clothes anyway. I thought, maybe I ought to start a campaign so that more and more people paraded around in their underwear. But then I thought of people on whom I really wouldn't want to see that much exposed skin. Maybe I ought to start a campaign where everyone who looks good in nothing but underwear should walk around in nothing but underwear, and all the others should wear moo-moos. I think I would look much better in nothing but my BVDs than I would in a moo-moo. Hey, does anyone know how to correctly spell moo-moo? Does anyone but me and my deceased mom even know what a moo-moo is? My mom thought moo-moos were the greatest garments every invented, and she was one of those that likely looked much better in a moo-moo than if she had paraded around in nothing but her skivvies.

And you wondered about it, didn't you?

It seems someone has answered that question that has been on everyone's mind since the Blackout of Naught-Three: Why does Texas have its own Power Grid?

Blackout postmortems have noted that America's electricity system consists of just three regions—the Eastern Interconnection, the Western Interconnection, and the Texas Interconnection. Why does the Lone Star State have its own power grid?

Partly because of a historical desire for self-sufficiency and partly because of that famous "Don't Mess With Texas!" attitude. The majority of the state's residents live within the region regulated by the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, an "island" that generates and supplies all its own electricity—unlike, say, New York City or Detroit, whose residents found out the hard way that lots of their power comes from Canada. (A small sliver of Western Texas gets its juice from the Western Interconnection, while a few customers in the north and the east are hooked into the Eastern Interconnection. Still, ERCOT handles 85 percent of the state's electricity needs.)

The state uses more electricity than any other, 44 percent more than runner-up California. Much of this is used by industrial customers such as petrochemical plants and oil refineries.

Despite Texas' massive thirst for electricity, ERCOT has been able to provide cheap power with few service hiccups. In fact, Texas electricity is cheaper, per kilowatt hour, than the national average.

source: Slate: Why Texas Has Its Own Power Grid by Brendan I. Koerner, Updated Tuesday, August 19, 2003, at 10:05 AM PT

Why fight Glenn Reynolds?

I just want to point out that Rocket Jones got mentioned on InstaPundit yesterday, and look at this. It is unbelievable what one little blurb on the Blogfather's site will do for your visitation rate*, huh? Here is hoping it boosts that visitation rate on a continual basis!

[UPDATE: One of you Instalanchers is gonna be Visitor No. 10,000. And all of ya that came here via the link on InstaPundit, please feel free to see some of my other stuff while you are here. As for what you will see, I am mostly a snarky inaniac™]

*And if the Ecosystem was working, I would see him climb far over my paltry 207 per day visitation rate due to this one day surge.

Baylor Bear Blues

Well, it seems the problems at Baylor continue. Already the basketball coach is in the middle of turmoil: probably going to be indicted for assisting in covering up the murder of one of his players and an investigation into NCCA infractions in association with that program. The athletic director was ready to give up his post as soon as a replacement was found, but I heard this morning he changed his mind and decided to just leave now, before a replacement was found. I have not thought of anyone with their head so far up their ass as to do a visual examination of their own prostate to take over as athletic director for the Baylor program, but I was thinking that Dennis Rodman would fit right in as the head of the basketball program. He has already shown a willingness to play loose with the rules, and it is still suspected that he was involved in that cigar boat incident on Lake Lewisville a few years ago that destroyed a poor girl's face and has been involved in covering up his involvment for years.

Go forth and multiply!

It seems that Alex Frantz of Public Nuisance has analyzed marriage from the dictates of the Old Testamament,* complete with footnoted references. The Biblical view of marriage is a real eye opener.

*However, the lawyer side of me does note a bit of a paradoxical conflict between the dictates of Rule 2 and Rule 4. It would appear that if the situation that existed in Rule 4 should occur, in almost all cases, in accordance with Rule 2, the Rule 4 marriage would be invalid and the bride would be subject to immediate execution.

attribution: James at OTB

Mittwoch meandering

You know how two events can come together to give birth to some inane thought, don't ya? I just had such occur. It seems the radio was playing Charlie Daniels' The Devil Went Down to Georgia while I was perusing this week's finely delivered Carnival of the Vanities over on Outside the Beltway and it got me to thinking about how the Devil came down to Texas and got a couple of Super Bowl trophies and ran a good team into the ground. Well, Tex and Tom are no longer with us, so there just ain't no goin' back, so let's just hope the Big Tuna is the ticket to move them Cowboys forward. Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys, unless they got the stuff to win.

I don't need a crystal ball

I don't even need my glasses to make the Nightly Navel Gazing Report. Said navel has been quite busy today, what with having captured several Cheeto® crumbs which seemed to have taken a real liking to the moist atmosphere found therein. They evaded removal by dismembering themselves and burrowing deeper into the crevices of the navel walls. The navel took on an orangish tinge during this episode, and said Cheeto® crumbs were finally only eradicated through use of soap, water, and a wet piece of terry cloth. At this hour, the navel is back in its natural condition. No lint or Cheeto® crumbs are visible.

What's with this new virus going around?

OK, running around the blogosphere and reading the headlines of an list I am on, I keep reading about another email virus going around. I guess I am not on anyone's email list who is infected because I have not gotten anything like that in my email. It also might be because I fogged the hell out of my computer with cigarette smoke to kill all the virus apreading mosquitoes who might be hiding in there. See, I knew there was a good reason to be a smoker. Between that, and all the great coughing I do, which seems to be great exercise for my abdomen, and, oops, let's not go too far with explaining everything ... yes, TMI warning, and you really do not want to know. While I am on the subject, if you are young, do not smoke or have not smoked long, quit or never start. Seriously. I know this is a do like I say not like I do, but I am an addict. I can't quit or at least I have not found a way yet. It is not like I wished I couldn't do so, but it seems like if I am not smoking, I cannot think straight. I am serious about that. There are benefits to some of the drugs you get from smoking, in my opinion. It is the way they are delivered into your system that is the problem. Now if that was not the greatest circling posting I ever did, I am a monkey's uncle. Wait, now, I am pretty sure I am not related to Frank,* so I had better retract that, just in case I am wrong.

*Hey, I had to snark on someone, didn't I? Besides, maybe it will draw the attention of Glenn Reynolds.

There is always a first time

I did something for the first time on this blog, ever. I actually posted something, then decided to completely delete it. Why? Well, for some reason, I could not get it formatted the way I wanted, and then I decided none of ya'll were really interested what kind of SPAM I received today anyway. So there!

If you were one of the unlucky ones that actually caught a glimpse of it between the time I posted it and the time I successfully rebuilt the site to delete it, I am sorry, but I am not responsible for your medical bills because you were shocked to see what kind of crap I receive on a daily basis. All risks in the viewing of any posts on this site are assumed by the viewer. I have absolutely no control over what your reaction might be and you are here because you wanted to be here, weren't you? ;)

Did you come for a quick visit in Texas?

Deb Yoder says she has been to "the heretofore undiscovered tenth circle of hell." We often get that reaction from first time visitors to our Great State of Texas during the summer. I mean, when they say it is "Hotter than Hell" here, they mean it literally. Was somewhere near 100 today with a whopping 80% humidity. It is still not hot enough to turn on the A/C, but then I, like most Texans, are used to the hot summer heat.

Ain't that a shame!

And please do not infer any sarcasm from the use of that title. It seems that michele will not be blogging from work anymore. I look upon that as bad news, because I always enjoy reading what michele has to say, but then again, I can see a silver lining in the cloud, because I can blog from work* so her readers might find me when they are looking for something new to read during work hours.

*Provided I am at the office and not in court, and that I do not have any really pressing work to be done.**

**This is subject to change though, as soon as I can get a direct satellite connection to the internet hooked straight into my brain. At that point, I suspect I can even blog in my sleep. Now won't that be just marvelous?

Buy those pills, dammit!*

Aaron the Rantblogger has posted a painting of a guy that seems to be a prime candidate for those miracle pills SPAMMERS are pushing these days. I am wondering why the painter chose this model for the painting? George, but I have seen some better packages than that painted on baby-faced cherubs. Wasn't the model who posed for Michaelangelo's David available?

*Please pardon this puny pecker posting.**

**It's not porno! It's art, dammit!

Do what, do wickey, do dat do dat?*

Do you mean the way to finally get Glenn Reynolds to notice you is to make a snarky remark about Frank?** Congrats Rocketman!

Alas! The life of a neutral Switzerblogger™!

*I dunno, but I thought just a simple "Do What?" was not eye catching enough, so added a bit of nonsensical stuff to catch your eye. It is kinda catchy if you actually say it out loud!

**Now where did I get the idea that it was to make snarky remarks about the French?***

***I wonder if Bill told me that? Or was it John?

Faux Frog Fighting Force

You know, maybe I have been a bit too rough on the French. Who was it that said that the French had not won any battles since Napolean? I was thinking that they did have a very good fighting force at one time. What were they called: The French Foreign Legion? I mean you really do have to admire a government that knows its citizens are so incapable of fighting that it forms a force of citizens from other countries to defend itself.

When its HOT, HOT, HOT

just curl up and DIE! 5000 Frenchmen couldn't be wrong!

Good Morning

As I intimated last night, I have a busy morning*. I have scanned the newest entries among those in my blogroll and there is some bloggy goodness to be found. I do not have time to point out the gems, so just do a bit of surfing through that list of links over there. I do want to mention that Cracker Barrel Philosopher notes an interesting dilemma that occurred to a family in Sequoia National Park.

Have a great morning and hope to catch up with ya'll this afternoon.

*And what do ya wanna bet that I have a good internet connection while I am away?

Tonight's Final Inanity

I have an early day tomorrow, and most likely blogging will be slow until I get out of court tomorrow. I may have time to post a bit early in the morning if my brain unfogs enough to think of anything worth sharing. So, I am going to call it a day a bit shorter than my usual sign off time. But before I official sign off, I wanted to share something with you all:

Doesn't today's Site Meter visitation graph look like a silhouette of Batman? Count it as your test pattern for tonight. This brings us to the end of another broadcast day.

Goodnight ya'll.

Episode No. 29

OK, this is the final Episode. Rusty died in July of 2001, and did not further columns after this one, what with his health failing. I was unable to retrieve October 2000 or August 2000, as all attempts returned 404 pages from his server. I am thinking of continuing Rusty style columns in the future, if there is any demand by my readership for such, maybe on the tune of one per week or one per month. I am still thinking about it and would entertain comments from you Rusty fans as whether to do such and if so, how often you would like to see them done. Until then:

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

April fool 2001 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Well sir, the stock market has a whole passel of folks having bad dreams at night. I don’t know any answers. If I did, I would be wealthy, but one thing I know -- it’s not gonna do any good worrying about it. I figured out a long time ago -- no use in worrying about something you can’t do anything about. I expect what will happen -- the small investors who can’t afford to take the losses will sell out, driving prices down even more. Then, those who got big money will buy low priced stock -- drive prices back up -- then sell and clean up. I reckon stocks are just like money. Not worth a nickel until or unless you spend it. No need to sell out now and take a loss. Hold on ‘til prices are back up then sell if you want to..

If you live in or around Abilene, check out my friend's shop. Lots of experience there and it shows. You'll be plumb tickled with the job they do. Give her a click.[*]

The following was written by my good friend Laurie. It says something we all need to hear.

"Fate is what life hands you. Destiny is what you do with it."

Hello..Just wanted to write down a few of the things that have been on my mind lately. I have lots of questions. What is happening to the world? What is happening to our school children, when they take weapons to class? Why do we send billions of dollars to third world countries, when we have starving people in our own country? We have become totally self absorbed...not knowing our neighbors, or even worse........fearing them because they look a little different, and don't fit into our "mold".

What is wrong with some people who cannot get a "grip" on life, and constantly whine that whatever is wrong in THEIR lives is someone elses fault? We all have choices in our lives...every single day. The choices we make today will have an impact on us farther down the road. If we make the wrong ones, then we should make the best of it, and move on. No one is perfect....me included, but if we see that we don't like what our lives have become...then change it!

Why is it that we have so many babies born to babies? I have been told that "this is the 21st century...things change".....Yep....true. Things change. I just don't believe that a girl that isn't even able to drive, is old enough to take on the responsibilites of parenthood. Its been said that the new generation is quite "street smart"....and that may be true. But crawling in the back seat of a car and making a baby , doesn't show much "smarts" to me. I have noticed in the papers, that someone who is 15 is referred to as a "woman" or "man"......how insane! They may have the physical appearance of an adult, but thats where it ends.

Also, this country needs to realize that you can't please EVERYONE! Someone is going to feel neglected, abused, ignored, and "put-upon". ... no matter what. When the constitution was written, I don't believe that meant it was just fine and dandy for someone with a mouth like a sewer should spew garbage and call it music. Since we are a free country, we allow these people to make lots of money peddling the crap to our kids...and more parents need to step up and say flat "NO!". Free to "express" ones self? Please. Just like the mother in the grocery store who cannot even discipline her child for fear of going to jail if she pops the child on his little bottom. We cannot give a toddler a hug, for fear of being accused of being some pervert.This is insanity!

What I think would help immensely, would be for people to have a little more respect...not just for others, but for themselves as well. I am sure something else will bug me soon...but for now.....thanks for listening to the rambling ....... just had to get some things off my chest.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Today the world is the victim of propaganda because people are not intellectually competent. More than anything the United States needs effective citizens competent to do their own thinking. --William Mather Lewis

*Of course, there is no link and where the link goes, nobody knows.

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

And you waited up for this?

The Nightly Navel Gazing Report: A wayward piece of lint was trapped in said navel today, but was easily removed without damage to said navel. Said piece of lint, however, was slightly damaged in the removal process and was discarded as such was quite miniscule and believed to be unusable for any conceivable purpose.

Oh George, it's eating my brain

Please make it stop!

It seems someone has made a parody of the hamsterdance site*, and of course, has been threatened to be sued by the original creator of such site. Is there anything more inane than that? I remember having that damn song in the original site trying to eat my brain, so what do you think if someone reversed the song? Oh my George, it is horrible and I will be hearing it in my sleep for a week! Curious?

attribution: Stephen who attributed Aaron the Rantblogger for sending him the link via email.

Oh George, it's horrendous! I feel my brain already melting.

*I forget where it is and there was not a link to it on the parody site, probably due to the threat of litigation.

Let's try this again

Well, just went through about 15 minutes of busy signals, but luckily I had gotten all the updated blogs to load up. So, what is there to say? Hopefully, but the time I finish composing this message, the connection will still be stable enough to allow me to publish it. Keep your fingers crossed, like you have any idea to do so, since you have not seen this message.

OK, first of all, I just noticed that today is my brother's birthday, but, of course, I do not know his phone number, as he changed it from what my dad's number was after my dad died for some reason. That one I knew. So Happy Birthday Kevin, even though you will never see this message. I am thinking about you all the same.

Frank has suggested that instead of dialup, I could sign up for the high speed wireless system that is available. Sure, Frank, I will do such as soon as I win the Lottery. Just remind me to buy a ticket on Wednesday. Surely I am due for some good luck, huh?

Pixy said in my comments earlier that he might be willing to host NZB's Blogosphere Ecosystem and had been in touch with NZB, just in case you do not read the comments like I do. Pixy is probably the nicest blogger in the Blogosphere, having taken on several bloggers under his wing and is hosting their blogs on his server.

Jen is desperately looking for a copy of Dueling Banjos and said she would pay the postage if anyone has a copy of such to let her borrow for some show where she is going to put penlights up her nose and dance in the dark or something. She said she was going to try to videotape the event, but was unsure how such would turn out, being as except for the penlights up her nose and her parnter's nose, there will be no other lighting. If you have a copy that you would not mind lending out, please do get in touch with Jen.

Kathy Kinsley reported on a story about the Marines in Iraq who have ben busy with something other than fighting. I thought what they did was worth applauding about. I am not going to tell you what it is and let you go see her post to find out the story.

Susie is sick, and was not feeling well enough to link any of my posts today. That is actually not all that bad as except for one, I was not on top of my game today anyway. Having a crappy connection all day long does that to me.

Now, time to attempt to publish this post. Here's looking at ya, kid!

Bandwidth Hell™ continues

Heck, most of the time when I get to the house, I get a pretty good connection. So after having not been able to connect all day at the office, I was looking forward to a night of blogging to make up for nothing new during the day. Of course, it looks like my luck is running bad, because I am having connection problems here too. I waited over 10 minutes for my own blog to finish loading and got disconnected before it ever did. Sheesh, maybe that is a sign that today is not my day to blog. I don't know. Was there anything exciting going on today? I seem to have missed my daily reading also. If there is something you think I have missed happening today, please leave me a comment or a link, and maybe later things will work themselves out and I can get a solid connection for awhile. I can only hope. Oh, I hate dialup.

What's up with this?

I wonder what is up Dave's ass? I am not even sure he knows.

Farts are not funny in New Zealand

It seems that some wise politicians in New Zealand have decided that livestock flatulence is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to studying the effects of such on global warming, and to assist in paying for such studies, they are taxing each farmer for each head of fart producing livestock. One farmer thinks they have gone a bit far with this fart tax and he penned a song about his frustrations called The Fart Tax Blues.

attribution: Cherry, who rightly assumed I would enjoy this story.*

*It was just inane enough for me to snark about.

Welcome to Bandwidth Hell™*

I have spent 60+ minutes of my valuable time trying to secure a stable connection to inform people I have such a horrible connection that blogging will be light.** Blogging will be light.

*If for some reason I actually get this to go through and end up with duplicate entries in some way. please do not comment to any but the uppermost such post, as I will be deleting any duplicates upon the earliest opportunity. I always keep the last one posted.

**Does that qualify for a Catch-22?

The decline of traditional family

Thanks to Dean, I was directed to a very enlightening article about a supposed "marriage strike" by men. The supposed cause:

Increasingly, men are stating their reasons for not marrying on the Internet. In an article entitled "The Marriage Strike," Matthew Weeks expresses a sentiment common to such sites, "If we accept the old feminist argument that marriage is slavery for women, then it is undeniable that -- given the current state of the nation's family courts -- divorce is slavery for men."

Weeks provides the math. One in two marriages will fail with the wife being twice as likely to initiate the proceedings on grounds of "general discontent" -- the minimum requirement of no-fault divorce. The odds of the woman receiving custody of children are overwhelming, with many fathers effectively being denied visitation. The wife usually keeps the "family" assets and, perhaps, receives alimony as well as child support. Many men confront continuing poverty to pay for the former marriage.

Seriously, I generalize, and there are sometimes good reasons to divorce, but in my divorce practice, it is the woman who files the divorce action more often than not and the reason most often given as the reason for her action: "I am just not happy anymore." Women are less choosy about the men they get involved with than were our grandmothers and their mothers and their mothers before them and seem to continually be looking for some reason not to be happy. Men have not changed; men will never change. Men are a bunch of sex-crazed dogs who will try to charm the pants off of any gal. They can be domesticated, but never tamed.

I don't hate women. I could never hate that lovely curvaceous gender than provides life and emotion to an otherwise bleak and lonely world. I just wish they would not work so hard to blur the line between what is expected and what is reality in the male/female equation.

Am I afraid of marriage? No, but I am very, very afraid of marrying the wrong woman.

Hmmm, do I have enough rope?

Oh no, Bill is drunk and is speaking German. Oh wait, he just got out a big kitchen knife and he is . . . no, Bill, don't do that.

I was right. I am groggy.

Tomorrow is Monday

Well, actually today is Monday, and that makes it mean I have stayed up a bit too late so will be very groggy when I get up tomorrow. As I am yawning badly, I suppose that is a good sign it is time to give it up for tonight. Before I go, allow me to give my Nightly Navel Gazing Report: No changes noted. With that important job being completed:

This brings us to the end of another broadcast day.
[imagine your own test pattern or use the one here.]

Blogosphere Ecosystem going on vacation

No, not NZB. It seems that Hosting Matters, the server upon which NZB's site is on, is saying the Blogosphere Ecosystem is fragging their servers too much, so until NZB can figure out some other way to fix this problem, no new updates are going to be done. To me, this is both good news and bad news. The good news, if I rightly understand what he is saying, is that I will stay in the same place [top 200/Large Mammal] until more updating can be done, and the bad news is that I cannot expect to climb any higher [No. 1/Higher Being] up the chain until more updating can be done. I can live with that.[*]

Now, if I had a proposition to propose, I would say that maybe technorati should come to the rescue and host such on their site. They seem to have no resource problems there, and this plays right into what they say their site is for anyway: Index page title- Technorati: Web Services for bloggers. Now tell me, is not the Blogosphere Ecosystem the one web service the bloggers want the most?

[*Update footnote] Oh, wow, I just noticed this occurs just when I had worked really hard to get my average visitation rate back over 200 per day which should have slid me finally into the top 200 in visitation also.

A good short take on love

Well, I had visited my2cents a number of times, but did not blogroll it because I did not find any permalinks. To me, that is important, because without such, it is hard to send readers their way. I figured it out today, and so I decided it was time to blogroll the blog. In my first blurb to send you that way, I wanted to tell you that wandalicious has provided a good synopsis of how unconditional love is different than romantic love.

Of special note

Although I may be a Switzerblog™ as far as Blog Wars go, there is so much blogging being done about such, I cannot help noticing some inane matters regarding the combatants. I was just over on Glenn (called White Glenn by his enemies) Reynold's site, InstaPundit, looking at that supposedly false quote from Frank J and noticed that one of his top supporters, Kevin from WizBang! is not even linked on his blogroll, unless you count the link for IMAO (the absolute slowest loading blog on my blogroll) going to that fake Google page on his server. Just thought I would point that out.

Episode No. 28

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

February 2001 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Has anyone noticed the new star in the sky? If you haven't, slip outside some night and have a gaze. How to find it. Just pick out the brightest one you can see and wave -- it's the space station. That is so cool. Wish I could go up and visit but afraid I am a few bucks short. Heard that Russia it taking a man up for several million dollars.

Been shining up the place some, even give one of the dogs a bath last week. Thinking maybe I'll attract me a woman. Some days it is mighty lonesome 'round here.

Well Sir, This is the month for lovers -- old and new. Before I get to jawin' 'bout what ails this old earth and what we ain't gonna do about it, I want to mention a swell place for gettin' fixed up for your sweetie. Guys are welcome too. This lady friend of mine has the gol-dernest business for cuttin' and curling hair and fixin' your face to make you look more beauteous 'n you are supposed to be. If you live anywhere near Abilene, Texas you ought to go see her. Just give the name thing down yonder a nudge with your mouse clicker and see what all she has to offer. And boys, y'all need to have a gawk at the pretty girls a working over there. They are cuter than a June Bug on a Watermelon.

[some graphical link that was no longer available on the server]

I ran across the following story and thought it would be fitting right now -- or anytime.

Who I Am Makes A Difference

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference they each made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people."

That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes A Difference" on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I love you!"

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom explaining why I had killed myself and asking you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all." His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain. The envelope was addressed, "Mom and Dad".

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference.
The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life...one being the boss's son. And the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson.

Who you are DOES make a difference.

Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Gun Refresher Course by Art Tupin

a.. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
b.. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
c.. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
d.. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
e.. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
f.. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
g.. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
h.. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
i.. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
j.. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
k.. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
l.. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
m.. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
n.. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
o.. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
p.. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
q.. 911 - government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
r.. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
s.. Criminals love gun control - it makes their jobs safer.
t.. If Guns cause Crime, then Matches cause Arson.
u.. Only a government that is afraid of it's citizens try to control them.
v.. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
w.. Enforce the "gun control laws" in place, don't make more.
x.. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
y.. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
z. "...a government by the people, for the people..."

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven. --Josh Billings

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

"justice and freedom for all"

OK, I just got something in my email:

Dear Blogger Compatriot -

We have launched a campaign to unite blogs around the world in defense
of the Iranian people who are struggling for freedom. We must let them
know that we are with them and we must DEMAND that world governments
answer their cries! Please consider uniting with Blogs who have already
joined the campaign - THE TIME IS NOW - In Unity and Struggle Free
People Will Be Victorious!

For more information on the BLOG-IRAN campaign visit
http://www.activistchat.com/blogiran/

Please contact us if you are interested in joining!
Best,
Haleh
activistchat.com

--
Join The "BLOG-IRAN" Grassroots Campaign
"Activists, Bloggers & Web Surfers Uniting For One Cause"

OK, hmmmm. What can I do? Do I support the right of the Iranian people to be free of oppression? Yes. Do I want to see the US invade Iran to free the Iraqi people from oppression? No. Do I want to see the Iranian people arise and demand their freedom and fight a revolution to free themselves from oppression? If that is what they want, yes. Do I want teh US to provide support to them once they have begun their battle? Yes.

I believe in the right for all people to be free, and I always support freedom. Free Iran!

Blogospheric Inanities

NZB says the Ecosystem is again fully functional, and explains why it occurred. It seems to have something to do with some problems associated with power lines in northern Ohio or something.

Venomous Kate has unwittingly sent an enormous amount of visitos to this post from a trackback from such post to her site. I am hopeful all of those visitors appreciated my reflections as contained in that post, but, despite the very large number of visitors, there has not been a single comment about what I had to say.

I hate weekends, especially days like today when I feel so compelled to take a nap and can find absolutely no good reason to deny myself that pleasure. As such, I shall endeavor to go catch 30 or 40 winks. If you run out of things to read on my site, check out all of the fine sites on my blogroll. They are a special, hand-picked bunch of very fine blogs, you know. ;)

Speak up and be heard

It seems that Tony has come to the conclusion that I am Always Right is a bit too generic for a good blog name and has listed his House Commander's choices from the submitted suggestions and requests that you place your vote for the best one. I, of course, recommend voting for B, as I thought that was such a novel creation. Do a fellow blogger a favor and go give him your voice, especially if you recommend B. ;)

Another innocent casualty of WAR efforts

Yes, it is true. This casualty, however, not a result of military action, but is a result of the combatants in one of the Blog Wars going on. I have announced my neutrality in all such wars, and I was warned by an avid supporter of one of those combantants that my failure to support such combatant was going to be costly. I have found such has inflicted a grievious injury. I have become an innocent victim of the Blog War effort.

The WAR goes SNARKY

Cracker Barrell Philosopher is reporting on a story in which the US is now posting snarky photoshopped pics of Saddam's face plastered on celebrity bodies in hopes of enraging Saddam and his cronies to the extent they reveal themselves. Should their attempt be unsuccessful, the pics will bring great delight to those who find humor in such things. Hopefully that will be a better part of the Iraqi population. He attributed Linkfilter for the find.

End of Summer Blues

Well, tomorrow is the first day of the new school year in my little burg. With the little kiddies going back to school, that brings another summer to a close. I look back on my summer and assess my accomplishments:

Times swimming: 1
Times sunburned: 1
Girls kissed: 0
Girls seen I wanted to kiss: beyond enumeration
Dates: 1
Good dates: 0
Camping trips: 1
Fun camping trips: 0
Trips to the beach: 0
Vacations: 0
Picnics: 0
Books read: 30
Books written: .05
Movies watched: 300
Hours online: 1100

George, but I have a pathetic life!

Nits, Twits and the Internet

It seems that blogging and publishing things about the happenings in your life can come bite you in the butt if the wrong person comes along.

Today, Child Protective Services appeared at my house. After a conversation with my daughter, with me and with another, as well as an opportunity to look through my home and to read the various blogs and comments involved, CPS determined that there was obviously nothing to the allegations. In fact, they were as horrified as I was that people who've never met me or my children would go to such lengths. CPS described the report as not only unsubstantiated, but "malicious." [full story]

A long time ago, when I first came online, my tagline was in the realm where fantasy reigns comes a voice of wisdom, knowledge and reason. I had already pierced the veil of what was real and what wasn't real. There is too much artificiality with the internet. I err on the side of caution and doubt. I think that is the wise course.

Am I the same in real life as on the Internet? Yes, except I am much better looking in person.

My Blogospheric Narcissism Fix

The Ecosystem is back online and yours truly has climbed firmly into the top 200 and is firmly entrenched as a Large Mammal. Can I maintain this status over the long run? Will I ascend to greater heights? One can only wish.

This is only a test

Nightly Navel Gazing Report

Other than one hair that fell out on the left side near the actual navel, no other changes were noted.

Episode No. 27

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

January 2001 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

T'other day I went into the Post Office to pick up a package too big for my mail box. It were some pictures and gifts from my daughter and her kin over yonder in Tennessee. Well, that's beside the point. What I am aimin' to tell you is that I had a long wait and went downstairs to a break room. On the way I spotted a sign pointing to "MUSEUM". Well sir, hit were a sight. All the old post office paraphernalia. I started thumbing through a binder of old letters and found the one I have attached. Now I know we was nearer to the government back in 1881 but am plum tickled to find a letter from the custodian of Abilene Post Office to The Secretary of Treasury, Washington D. C. asking for $1.50 to buy a lawn sprayer. Can't help wondering if he ever got it.

Click right here to see a bona fide copy of the letter

[There was a scan of the letter which was unrecoverable. The following contains the text of the letter.

Abilene, Texas
April 16, [1908?]

The Honorable (Omirred),
The Secretary of The Treasury,
Washington D C

Dear Sir:

We need a lawn spreyer very badly for use on the lawn here. I hsve found that Geo. L. Paxton of this place will sell us an excellent one for $1.50.

As this is a necessity I trust that you will be pleased authorize the purchase there of.

Thanking you I beg to remail,

Very Respectfully,
(With held)
Custodian]

While the clicker is handy take a look at my adoptive wolf -- Misu and tell your friends how bad full blooded timber wolves are after a little lovin'.[*]

Let me tell you this. I got several letters from folks that agreed with me on the gay v/s Boy Scouts issue, but I didn't get a single one defending the deviate behavior. Don't reckon they wanted whatever lame-brained defense they night offer published. Shucks! Was hoping I'd get me a pen-pal feller who would try to convince me it's okay to bugger my fellow men. I don't think so.

Wasn't that president election a doozy? Don't s'pose we'll ever know just who got chosen, but I kinda think we came away with the best of what was offered. Just haft to wait and see.

Lordy, this sure is starting out to be a wintery winter. I kinda like it, but maybe I wouldn't be so gung-ho if I lived some other place. Not much chance of that. Would miss the110 degree days in the summer to say nothing about the dust storms. Those little dust devils ascooting across my field are pretty cute 'til they fetch their daddy by. Ever notice how Texas and tornado seem to go hand in hand?

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

The time has come to stop the sale of slavery to the young. --Lyndon Baines Johnson

*This link is no longer available. I am not sure what happened with Misha, but I am sure she is well and looked after.

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Saturdays are slow blogging days

michele says blogging traffic today has been ever so sluggish. I am just glad that my hits are near average. After than just over 100 I got last Saturday, 1.7x that is so much better to see. I am very appreciative for everyone who came to look over my paltry offerings today. I warms my heart to feel your love. Thanks. ;)

Twilight Zone continues

I have had 40 visitors visit one page that come in via one of my trackbacks. Someone linked my trackback link somewhere and are sending a lot of people my way. If anyone reading this and came in that way, please leave a message as to where you clicked the link that took you to my trackback box. That is bizarre. That is phenomenal amount of visitors, and I am wondering where they all came from. 40 on a Saturday is like an Instalanche.

And who says that Glenn Reynolds is not a force to be dallying with. There is a blogging term with regard to the effect his linking your blog does have. I wouldn't mind experiencing that once, but an average of about 200 visitors a day doesn't bother me. I was happy when my first website got 100 visitors in one month once a twice a year when I first came online. I have more people reading my thoughts now than at any other time in my life. That is something, isn't it?

Something with some meat on it

Remember when I said we should have a new constitutional convention to discuss some of those things that should be discussed. Howard has reminded me of one of them. It is often argued that we do not have a democracy, but we have a democratic republic. We supposedly have a capitalist economic system. But in actuality we do not have a total capitalist society, do we? We have many items that are provided by the government: Postal Service, National Security, and Social Services. It has always been my belief that there are certain essential elements that should be provided to all citizens of a society: basic transportation, basic communications, basic health care, adequate power, food and water. Our government regulates each of these to whatever lower degree to which capitalists pay them enough to agree. If we co-op so as to provide all citizens with basic necessities at base/no profit prices, then the capitalists are free to play above that level. Say for example, everyone is to be provided with one line of the least expensive form available into a residence, for argument's sake, let's call that regular present day telephone line, complete with long-distance access within the nation. That is the bottom line, so that the capitalists can offer better lines, better transmission, better whatever. Those that need more that what is decided to be the minimal citizenry entitlement can choose between the ever increasing capitalist competitors. We just saw how one large area can be affected by non-cooperative entities, the black-out. There are already battles over fresh water being waged in many places in our country and around the world. If we do not start to get a handle on how we are going to provide for all of our citizens in all areas of the country on a nationwide basis, we are going to get the continual migration of people to those areas where they are provided, further taxing their provisional capabilities. It is madness people.

Look closely at what is stated in our own Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

It says, however, that we are all entitled to life, and life takes some element of essential need. It says we are entitled to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have less of that now than when the nation and the Constitution was written. They are separate but equal entitlements. We should have a government that provides essential services instead of one who provides oppression and feeds the greed. I guess that makes me a Social-Libertarian or something, huh?

Actually there are some strong moral issues that do needed to be decided one way or the other that apply as rule of law. Drugs are one and Abortion is another. I have discussed my beliefs in both previously, but to rehash:

Drugs are not the problem, the effects of the drugs might be to some people. We should help those people and not warehouse them in prisons where they are non-productive. The War on Drugs is a futile and costly battle and those resources could be used elsewhere. [Update: To parallell what is said below, I would rather see doctors involved in treating the addiction and keep the courts and cops out of it, except for policing bad actors. I again say that I may not agree with the necessity of one poisoning one's own body, but as long as they neither threaten or harm another person, I support their right to do so.]

Abortion is an appalling form of birth control. There are cases where it is fair to terminate the pregnancy, like health of the baby, health of the mother, rape or incest. Fight the moral battle in the streets and churches and keep the courts out of it. I don't like it, but I would rather doctors were involved than not. To me, it is kind of like free speech: I may not like what you say, but I support your right to say it ... I may not like what you do to your own body and prospective progeny, but I do respect your right to do it. Almost anyone who is contemplating abortion most likely knows the consequences of their decision and do not need counseling, but the doctor should not do the procedure unless he believes she has been adequately informed as to the consequences of the procedure.

More later, I am sure.

I love the new outfit!

It seems the the most Venomous Kate has dressed Electric Venom in a new outfit. Here is hoping it loads a bit faster that the old design. I was less inclined to visit as often as I wished because the old design loaded up so slowly. I do that from time to time, especially when the blogging is heavy and there are a lot of updates to check, just pass over those sites that load slowly. I am sure that those with high band connections forget about us mired with crappy dialup and antique phone lines.

A place in the sunshine

Hmmm, someone has listed the 10 best campin' spots in the US and ain't none of 'em in my backyard. Scott does have a real nice place to camp down on the Brazos, and that is pretty close to my backyard*, but, of course, campin' ain't all that much fun when you have the whole tent to yourself, is it? Well, don't think I am goinna go campin' today, but I might go out for fresh refill of Dr. Pepper or somethin'. More to come later. Seems to me, I didn't put up a Rusty column yesterday, so maybe I better put one up for those die-hard fans today, ya think?

*And I figured if I was talkin' 'bout good places to camp, I had better mention it or Scott would never ever forgive me.

Anna to the rescue!

I was searching hard for a good chuckle and thankfully Anna supplied it. I knew there was a reason she was on my blogroll. Thanks Anna!

Like you actually cared

It does seem that Idi Amin has died and no one mourns. I suspect there are a few that do, but no one admits such publicly. It could solely be that one guy who hated his wife so much he whacked her and then invited Idi over for dinner to rid himself of the evidence. Surely someone has something good to remember about Idi Amin. I can say on his behalf that the only thing I absolutely know about the entire country of Uganda, other than it is in Africa, is that it was once ruled by Idi Amin. The guy is dead, they long pulled his statues to the ground, and he can't hear all the hateful things people are saying about him. I guess you can say what you want, can't you? Just think, though, that although all the things being said about him are bad, there are likely more people who have something to say about him than will have anything to say about you when you die. It may just be that being infamous is a step above being just famous. That is something, isn't it?

There are faint signs of life

It seems NZB has gotten some clue as to the ailments as to what is wrong with the Ecosystem and has attempted to explain it. Of course, a geek/0™ like me was left in the dark even after reading it. All I understood is that he hopes everything will be fixed by the end of the weekend. We shall see.

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille

Hey wait, I didn't name my damn brain Lucille. But for some reason nothing all that important is going on up there. I keep thinking and thinking but all I am coming up with is diddly-squat. Oh, really there is something on my mind, but it is futile to discuss it as it is just some personally inane thoughts that started with something Stevie said in the comments to this post. I hate having such thoughts on my mind, as they are nothing but an exercise in futility, I promise. And, it is not like I can take matters in my own hands. Well, actually I suppose I could, but I have not found much satsifaction with such since I was 12 or 13. Well, back to my movie and my feeble attempts to find ways to ease my loneliness.

I am not a peacenik, but . . .

I dunno, but I really do not want to take any sides in Blog Wars. I would just rather stay on the sidelines and keeping being a Snarky Inaniac™, so as far as anything to do with the Blog Wars, I shall now be a Switzerland Blog.

The Saturday Morning Kid's Show!

OK, another broadcast day begins, and since I know all the big people are still in bed, I have searched and searched to find appropriate programming for those kids among you:

The Tiger’s Meow- By Candy Gourlay

Something out of the Twilight Zone

You know, part of what I like about blogging is seeing where my visitors come from and to see who is linking to me and reading all the comments. On some days like today, and most likely more tomorrow, as Saturday always seems to be the slowest day of the week for visitation, there did not seem to be all that much going on in the Blogosphere. I surely thought I would get more reaction about the questions I posed for Stevie's interview, but didn't. I did not get a comment or a trackback one on a story that I thought was important. No one commented on my dig at Al Franken, which I thought was fairly ingenious, even though I mentioned it, not once, but twice. The absolute most popular post I had all day was literally a naval gazing report. And, as the cherry on the top of an otherwise very strange day of blogging, I find I just got a trackback a few minutes ago from this post from June 16, 2003. So, just how strange is that?

As was once stated by a little pint-sized sailor with less hair on his head than I have, who walked around with one eye squinted almost closed and had big tattooed forearms, who loved a super thin gal with a very ugly hairdo, That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more. Nope, I am not planning on eating a can of spinach and beating up on an ugly brute, I am just calling it a day. See ya'll sometime tomorrow. This ends our broadcast day. This station is signing off of the air:

"Well, I never . . . "

Susie's back from work and she brought a friend.

Hello? Is this thing on?

I was just sitting here examining my navel. Nothing new to report. It looks about like it did last time I looked: a little dimple in an overly round belly, surrounded by some strands of soft black hairs.

Just one short day later . . .

michele says her day after the blackout was fair and that everything was in balance, or something like that. Yeah, pretty inane, I know, but nothing much to say. It seems I was the only one to report the only real story that came out today.

More to come . . . if I think of anything else that merits sharing. That is, if I can ever get that thought of Al Franken's frozen head still being attached to a living body to go away.

I think I will go see what is on the idiot box. After that post, I kinda feel like an idiot.

A netful of SNARKS

It seems that Venomous Kate has snared a netful of Snarks and has them on diplay over on her blog. I seem to be one who got caught in the net.

I knew there was a reason I supported Georgy

Well, I just found that Californial Runoff Candidate Georgy and I have something in common. Maybe an Irish ancestor with a surname of Russell. Of course, just because she might be a distant cousin of mine is not the reason she gets my vote. Check out the extended entry at damnum absque injuria for my reasoning.

How could I not support someone that I would love to slather and slobber all over?

Are the lights on yet?

What is with the blogosphere? Sure a lot of people were affected by the blackout and sure there are a lot of questions as to the cause and how to keep it from happening again, but I posted something I thought was a remarkable news flash about the Libyans accepting responsibility for the 1988 Pan Am 103 bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland, that killed 270 people. Has anyone else in the blogosphere picked up on this story? Is this not phenomenal? Am I the only one who thinks Libya coming out into the open about this and renouncing terrorism is something worth mentioning? The blackout is over. Move on, already.

Of course, I could be completely behind the 8-ball again and just missed picking up any clues.

Under the Lockerbie agreement, struck Wednesday, Libya has agreed pay up to $10 million each to families of the 270 people -- 259 on the plane and 11 on the ground -- killed in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, en route to New York From London.

This is HOT NEWS

Just in via email from CNN:

-- Libya to accept responsibility for Pan Am 103 bombing, renounce terrorism, U.S. official says.

Friday Funny

Well, got my Friday Jokes from Cherry and found several that were very good in this week's batch. Cherry posted one of them at her site. Here is the one I just had to share:

The Bronze Rat

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm.

As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.

By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just
thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer."

Tiger tops InstaPundit!

I finally found a way to top Glenn Reynolds. It seems that my surname of Russell is in the top 100 of the most common names in the US and Reynolds falls just short of being in the top 100!

I am mired in Bandwidth Hell™ so expect light blogging until I get home.

Stevie's questions

Well, I successfullly got a bite, set the hook perfectly and now have reeled in Stevie for a Tigerific raking over the coals.

Stevie, please provide responses to these questions:

[UPDATE: Stevie has responded. Answer to Question 1 - Answer to Question 2 - Answer to Question 3 - Answer to Question 4 - Answer to Question 5. Very fine answers they were.]

1. You come home and discover a break-in. You look around to assess what has been taken, and find that the only thing missing is that someone has taken every one of your undergarments, even the soiled ones in the hamper. Who do you suspect and why?

2. Which Arnold Schwarzenegger movie best identifies his qualifications for the post of Governor of California: Kindergarten Cop; Red Heat; or Hercules in New York? Why?

3. You arrived timely for your doctor's appointment to find an empty waiting room, no one at the receptionist's window and hear the distinctive sounds of passion coming from somewhere in the interior. Three magazines are sitting on the table: a copy of November 1988 Guns & Ammo, October 15, 1999's Newsweek and the July 2001 Edition of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Which do you pick up to read?

4. You wake up and find yourself in France and all the people seem to be running away from something approaching from the south. It turns out to be a marching troop of Swiss Boyscouts cleaning their nails with their Swiss Army knives. How do you convince the French population to stand and defend their homeland against this aggessive invasion?

5. You just won a contest at the local radio station by correctly naming all the members of Devo correctly after an extensive internet search and won your choice of cars on the lot down at Honest Hank's Used Car Emporium at the corner of Main and Elm across from the Pineland United Bank. You run right down to Honest Hank's Used Car Emporium and see three cars on the lot: a yellow 1977 AMC Pacer with two flats; a rusty brown 1979 Ford Pinto with fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror; and a black 1951 Studebaker Hawk with a Greatful Dead T-shirt pulled over the drivers seat back to conceal the exposed seat springs. Which do you choose and why?

Oh George! I woke up and it's Friday!

I woke up with the most bizarre thoughts swimming through my sleep deprioved brain. I was thinking of Ted Williams and Al Franken, and how it was so strange that Ted Williams had died and how his head was separated from his body and frozen and how Al Franken's frozen head remains attached to a living body. I told you it was bizarre.

Good news/bad news: It seems that most of the electricity has been restored bringing an end to the blackout of naughty-three™ but NYC's subways are still out of commission. I guess all those stranded executives are still wearing their same suits and may get to spend another night at their mistresses' houses.

The Blogosphere Ecosystem remains mired in its coma and it may be time to consider disconnecting life support. NZB is distraught.

Upcoming: Stevie's questions

More to come!

I got snagged for The Interview Game

OK, Seems that I have the following questions as posed by DavidMC of Better Living Through Blogging:

1. Do you appreciate or hate being asked "Hey, you're a lawyer, and I was wondering if you could help me out..." type of questions from non-paying acquaintances? It depends a lot on what day of the month it is. If I have just successfully paid another round of monthly bills on time and still have a bit of change jingling in my pocket I don't mind it as much as I do when it is near the end of the month and I still am about $1K short of making my monthly nut.
2. If your nickname wasn't "Tiger," what other nickname do you think people would use for you? snake shit or something like that.
3. Your tiny little burg in Texas has closed up - gone bankrupt - everything must go! Where do you choose to relocate, and why? What? You have been here and know the financial condition of the friggin' town? I would move to Canada, maybe Vancouver, open a hash bar or something, and write my books in the back room with Crayolas on a Big Chief Tablet.
4. You have just been given a check for $1,000,000, tax-free. Which charitable organization (if any) will you give some money to, and would you give some to me? Hmm, still thinking that a one million dollars is not really all that much money, so I would just put it all in CDs and live off the interest, leave the principal in my will to the National Park Service to buy electric buses to cart people through those smog filled NPs after they banned auto traffic. Wilderness should be wilderness. I would buy you a couple of cases of beer after I got the first round of interest checks.
5. President Tiger, having just been inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States, what message do you have for your fellow Americans? Look you lazy fuckers, it is time to stop sucking on the government tit. No, not talking to you welfare recipients, but we are gonna be checking to see if ya'll really need that money and finding ways to get you to start providing for your own living. The ones I am talking to right now is all ya'll good for nothing bureaucrats that push paper here and there and waste time accomplishing nothing but sucking the tax dollars out of the government trough that could be used for real important things, like teaching all your kids to speak Spanish so they won't be left behind when they become the minority in our great country and building more Wal-Marts and McDonald's so they can all have places to work, and don't forget all the free T-shirts we are gonna be handing out to tell everyone how proud we are to be Americans. I already got a really good deal on those lined up with a factory over in China. Now get your resumes ready, because a lot of ya'll might be soon looking for a job.

There, how was that?

Now, according to the rules of this game, I now have to interview someone.
Here are the applicable rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I need one victim volunteer. Leave your name, address, bra size, and phone number in the comments, and I will try to come up with a doozy set of five questions to frag your braincells.

Are you able to cast the first stone?

You cannot read this without being moved, so go get moved. Ya hear?

attribution: Kelley

Grasping for straws and gasping for air

Just received in my email:

Dear Netscape Member,

In this issue:

- Browsing Just Gets Better
Download the next generation browser and discover why experts praise the quality and performance of Netscape 7.1. Popup controls aren't enough to convince you? Then how about spam filters and access to over 175 music channels from Radio@Netscape? It's easier than ever to upgrade and keep your favorites and settings. Enjoy lots of new features and plug-ins. Best of all...it's free.

Popup controls would be great for surfing them porn sites, huh? I don't do that, but I am tired of every newspaper site doing the same. However, I thought Netscape was dead? What up with that? Oh:

Netscape
First up is some Netscape 7.x news. Netscape 7.0 and 7.01 have had a total of over 14 million downloads. To quote an AOL exec, this fact is "impressive compared to AOL 8's 10 million downloads which were backed by AOL's marketing muscle."

Based on the Mozilla 1.4 trunk, the next release of Netscape may be the last major release for the foreseeable future. The current plan for the browser is "Probably focused on maintenance releases." [link]

Episode No. 26

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

June, 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

With the continuing flagrant school shootings it would be easy to join the ranks of those for gun control. Easy, but not SMART. Our forefathers knew what they were doing when they put the second amaendment in our constitution. Please read the following article written by well known news commentator Paul Harvey. Believe me, it will open your eyes as it did mine.

Paul Harvey on Guns and HISTORY....

Are you considering backing gun control laws? Do you think that because you may not own a gun, the rights guaranteed by the Second Amendment don't matter?

CONSIDER; In 1929 the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, approximately 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915-1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, 13 million Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, the mentally ill, gentiles, and others, who were unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million "educated" people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

That places total victims who lost their lives because of gun control at approximately 56 million in the last century. Since we should learn from the mistakes of history, the next time someone talks in favor of gun control, find out which group of citizens they wish to have exterminated.

It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed, a program costing the government more than $500 million dollars. The results Australia-wide; Homicides are up 3.2% Assaults are up 8 % Armed robberies are up 44% In that countries' state of Victoria, homicides with firearms are up 300%. Over the previous 25 years, figures show a steady decrease in armed robberies and Australian politicians are on the spot and at a loss to explain how no improvement in "safety" has been observed after such monumental effort and expense was successfully expended in "ridding society of guns."

It's time to state it plainly; Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws only affect the law-abiding citizens. Take action before it's too late, write or call your delegation.

OPINION Paul Harvey on Guns
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul Harvey's comment on Columbine High shootings:

How can we blame it all on guns?

For the life of me, I can't understand what could have gone wrong in Littleton, CO. If only the parents had kept their children away from the guns, we wouldn't have had such a tragedy.

Yeah, it must have been the guns. It couldn't have been because half our children are being raised in broken homes. It couldn't have been because our children get to spend an average of 30 seconds in meaningful conversation with their parents each day. After all, we give our children quality time.

It couldn't have been because we treat our children as pets and our pets as children.

It couldn't have been because we place our children in day care centers where they learn their socialization skills among their peers under the law of the jungle while employees who have no vested interest in the children look on and make sure that no blood is spilled.

It couldn't have been because we allow our children to watch, on the average, seven hours of television a day filled with the glorification of sex and violence that isn't fit for adult consumption.

It couldn't have been because we allow our children to enter into virtual worlds in which, to win the game, one must kill as many opponents as possible in the most sadistic way possible.

It couldn't have been because we have sterilized and contracepted our families down to sizes so small that the children we do have are so spoiled with material things that they come to equate the receiving of the material with love.

It couldn't have been because our children, who historically have been seen as a blessing from God, are now being viewed as either a mistake created when contraception fails or inconveniences that parents try to raise in theie spare time.

It couldn't have been because we give two-year prison sentences to teenagers who kill their newborns. Or by handing out condoms as if they were candy.

It couldn't have been because we teach our children that there are no laws of morality that transcend us, that everything is relative and that actions don't have consequences. What the heck, the president gets away with it.

Nah, it must have been the guns. -- Paul Harvey "That is the rest of the story."

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"If you have men who will exclude creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men". --Saint Frances

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Sometimes I feel so dense

I have noticed my visitation rate has been slower than usual considering how funny my posts are tonight and such, and I was wondering what it was. I just gave myself a Homeresque slap in the head and vocalized a resounding "Doh!" Uh, with about half my readers without electricity, they don't have any internet access. Damn you ConEdison! Next time, invest in a Hungry Rottweiller Security System™.*

*George, with Al Franken on the loose, you gotta claim 'em when you can.

Why am I not surprised?

First of all, although I am in a place which is not affected by the blackout, my damn sucky ISP has connected every time [and fairly often, as I have had several dead connections happen over the course of the day as usual] at 31.2K every frickin' time. This has made it extremely difficult to post messages while reading 44 blogs, as they each slowly load to such extent that I can read the entries. I am sorry if I sorely tax your damn bandwidth capabilities, but heck, why am I the only one who seems to always get the connection to the oldest damn modem ya'll have on your end. Well, enough of that drivel.

The reason for this post is that I have noticed that the black-out is probably the single biggest story I have seen hit the Blogosphere since I have been blogging. I mean everyone has posted something about it. I still think I broke the story more quickly than the majority. However, the most amusing thing that I have read in connection with this blackout is this:

I should note here that New Jersey has its priorities in order, as ALL the toll plazas on the Garden State Parkway had plenty of power (obviously from emergency generators) to guide motorists through the toll-collecting maze. The airport may have been closed, but EZ Pass was up and running. [James at Parkway Rest Stop]

Lookee here what I found!

Hey I might be the Snarkiest Blogger in the Blogosphere™,* but sometimes I find other good snarky remarks. I love the snarky remark ending this post by Serenity.

[UPDATE: It seems I have forgotten to mention that my blogchild, Cherry, has left the murky confines of the Blog*Spot nebula and is now one of the planets circling the great star Munu.**]

*Yeah, go ahead and try it, and see if you don't find out how Al Franken feels with the legal bills he is gonna pile up. ;)

**I linked to her latest post solely so that I could be the first one to give her a trackback on her new MT powered blog.

Under a rock someplace*

Where does michele find these things? This one is hilarious! Thanks for a wonderful long chuckle from someone in Texas who is not stuck without electricity.

*Uh, this could either be where michele located this story or the place from which Corey Feldman** was calling.

**Damn, now I killed the suspense, didn't I?

Some stupid new con I found in my email

It seems someone is targeting me for some reason, or this may be going to several other people. I am not sure. I actually got a previous message from this same email address, and had thought I saved it someplace. I have not been able to locate it in a saved text file, on my list of received emails, on my list of deleted emails or anywhere else. I must have deleted it. The first one asked me if I was in the child pornography business or some other business that needed money laundering services. I, at first, thought it was a joke that someone was playing on me, and then thought it might be some stupid law enforcement trick. I likely did delete it through ICQ, which would have erased it off of my mail server. As such, it may likely not exist. Well, today I got another message:

Posted by Tiger at 06:37 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

There's some 'splainin' to do

OK. I was checking the pongs. Seems that Susie ponged me pretty bad, but I always forgive her. I used to have that affliction and for the life of me do not know why it seldom occurs anymore or I would pass that information along. But as I was looking at the long list of prior posts, I noticed that I had titled two of the Rusty Rucker posts as Episode 21. As such, I am going to renumber them from the second No. 21 so as to correct such mistake. Denita, you can adjust or not as you see fit. I apologize, and are almost wondering why you hadn't pointed such out to me already. ;) Also, while on the subject of Rusty's columns, I also noticed that I had not posted June's column, so tonight's Rusty posting is going to be the June 2000 column which should have been posted several back. I have also noticed that August and October 2000 columns were passed over. I did have some trouble getting these posts at my first attempt, but I am finding that I can sometiems retrieve these now. As such, I will most likely be posting August and October's columns in the next installments. The run is coming close to the end.

Party in the street until I get back

Well, it seems half the nation is without electricity. I suspect al Queda has retaliated for the capture of the their missile buyer by slipping an agent into one of those weird looking things where all the wires seem to come together, like you see in the movies or on the side of the road, you know the ones with all those wires and insulators and towers surrounded by a chain link fence. I was up there once and never did see any security around any of those p[laces. Of course, I'd never try to sneak in anyway, what with all those wires and such here and there. I'd be afraid I would touch the wrong thing and become toasted or something, but I suppose you could slip in someone who knew their way around and have them just pull the right plug, and boom, there goes everyone's electricity. Down here, we let a bunch of Rottweillers loose inside the fence and just forget to feed them very often and they get real hungry. If'n someone is stupid enough to jump the fence for whatever reason, we figure it solves two problems: one, we just ridded ourselves of more more of them stupid Yankees that moved into town, and two, the dog finally got something to eat. Ya'll Yankess just ain't as smart on your feet as us people down here in Texas, is ya?

Breaking News:

Just in via email:

Posted by Tiger at 03:52 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

You do know how Andy thinks:

My friend Frank, non-blogging Frank, who reads and comments sometimes was taking me to the neighboring town Tuesday to get that battery. I told ya'll about that, and I could link it, but that is not important. I only mention that because it leads in to why I am posting. In his truck, he had a printout of something he had gotten off the internet. I read it, and I told him I thought it was worth sharing, so he emailed it to me. I have not searched to confirm the accuracy, but I have no reason to doubt it. Anyway, here it is:

ANDY FOR PRESIDENT:

Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back: (for those of you that don't know Andy Rooney, he is a 82 year old US TV commentator)

I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from! driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I ha ve the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling. It is the Law of Probability.

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die! in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry self if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal, or conservative with a cause, is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough.

Thursday's opening laugh

I am still a bit too groggy to type. It falls after a rough night in which my digestive system seemed to feel it necessary to rebel against that popcorn I ate a bit too late last night, and I tossed and turned and a few other things that you really do not want to know about, so I am going to have to send you over to SilverBlue for your morning funnies. He has delivered a couple of good ones, but the one in the extended entry is classic.

Goodnight Susie!

Well, as usual, I did have more visitors today than any other day this week, but only beat yesterday's total by 3. Not all that bad for a slow blogging day. Of course, I pulled out one of the best things I think I ever wrote to share, and as far as I can tell, it will still be there tomorrow for those who have not read it yet. Rusty column is probably more controversial than any of the others. There is plenty for Susie to read* after her hard day/night at work, I guess, so I can go to bed with a clear conscience. ;)

*That is provided she has time, what with needing to link every post that Kevin has written today in some way on her blog. She is determined to keep that permalink.

Episode No. 25

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

[Ed. note: be forewarned, the subject discussed is controversial and the author is now in the grave. I do not necessarily agree with everything stated, but the premise of this category is to publish my late dad's columns as written and previously published on his now no longer available website, not to edit out those things with which I am not in agreement.]

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

December 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

NOTE -- Due to the extreme interest in the November Page I have decided to extend it through December. If you came here expecting my Christmas Story click on December 1999 at the bottom of this page.

The US Supreme court upheld Boy Scouts of America's right to bar gay men from being in leadership positions, yet some United Way branches have said they will not give BSA any monies if they persist in this stand. Hopefully, this is localized in areas like S F.

If the information I have is correct, one out of every eight men are gay. That leaves seven others who resent having unnatural sexuality imposed on our kids.

What I am requesting is, this year instead of making a donation to United Way, make it directly to BSA. Maybe we can send a message that will be heard around the world.

I'm sure homosexuals see themselves differently than I. But whatever anyone says, sodomy is a deviant act. I can't imagine inserting my organ into any bunghole -- male or female. Not when God made woman for that explicit purpose and gave her such a delicious place. And it is unthinkable that I would invite a guy to use me that way. Our little kids don’t need to hear all the details of homosexual doing. If we are going to teach sex in school, let it be be straight sex, like nature intended.

I realize that homosexuality may be genetic or a birth defect and they cannot help being gay. I have known quite a few gay men and I promise you, most would rather be straight if they had the choice.

Some defend their actions by saying, "There has been homosexuality since the beginning of time." There has been rape and murder since the beginning of time as well, but that still doesn't make them acceptable, although I'll admit, our society is leaning farther and farther away from the victim's and seems more dedicated to criminal rights. Perhaps sometime in the future we will have groups of wife-beaters, and alcoholics, and druggies applying for permits to demonstrate for their rights.

I am not a sexist, nor do I condemn gays for what they are. I consider myself pretty liberal and I accept any kind of harmless sex between consenting adults as okay, but not sodomy. It is dangerous -- more life threatening than B&D. Both have the potential to cause ever-lasting harm, and death.

The entire gay movement can climb onto soapboxes and shout gay rights to the Heavens and still most straight men will think of homosexuals as "queer". That's the way it is.

Suppose the other seven of us ban together for "Straight rights". We should have the right to chose what we want our children to be taught in school. We should have the right to select the person we think is most suitable to lead them. We should have the right to decide for ourselves if homosexually is immoral behavior or not. Perhaps we should have the right to carry signs detailing our favorite sexual positions. And we certainly should have the right to speak up for BSA when we think they are being wronged. Notice I didn't say make United Way share funds with BSA. They have the right to decide that, but we have the right to contribute to BSA instead of United Way . That is what I am going to do. I hope you will join me.

Good values are as important today as they were a hundred years ago. That is why I can't support Gay Rights. They can recognize each other and we can usually pick them out of a crowd so why impose their sexual choice on others. Some things should remain private. What purpose is served by coming out?

I REALIZE THIS IS A VERY CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT AND THERE ARE ISSUES ON BOTH SIDES THAT SHOULD BE ADDRESSED. I INVITE YOUR FEEDBACK. A LIMITED NUMBER OF LETTERS -- PRO AND CON WILL BE POSTED ON MY "READER CONTRIBUTION" PAGE. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT THEM FOR BREVITY AND LANGUAGE.[*]

Something must be done regarding the increasing flood of unwanted bulk e-mail. This is going to become an insurmountable problem in another year or two unless positive action is taken NOW.

The easiest and most effective solution would be legislation to require bulk mailers to put a key word or number on the subject line. As I am sure you know, Microsoft’s browsers and others have a program to screen e-mail with a list of words. Only problem is, the bulk mailers are getting wiser and have started doctoring their subject lines to counteract it. Example: A law office might run all the words together. IRS,LIEN,DIVORCE,DUI,ATTORNEY No spaces so it fools the blocking program.. Everyone please write your congressman and ask for immediate relief. Wouldn't it get their attention if we just FWD everything we get to them?

DANGER -- DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809 [**]

With the advent of the internet and world wide communication there are many scams coming to light. Other nations are not bound by US laws so they can do on-line gambling, banking without regulation, and sell and distribute porno to name a few. But here is a new one that promises to rake in billions of OUR MONEY.

This is pretty scary - especially given the way they try to get you to call. Be sure to read this and pass it on to all your friends and family so they don't get scammed! Do not respond to emails, phone calls, or web page which tell you to call an "809" phone number. This is a very important issue of Scam Busters! Because it alerts you to a scam that is spreading "extremely" quickly - can easily cost you $100 or more and is difficult to avoid unless you are aware of it. This scam has also been identified by the National Fraud Information Center and is costing victims a lot of money. There are lots of different versions of this scam so you have to be alert

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS

"You will receive a message on your answering machine or your pager, which asks you to call a number beginning with area code 809. The reason you're asked to call varies; it can be to receive information about a family member who has been ill, to tell you someone has been arrested, died, to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc. In each case, you're told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls.

If you call from the US, you will apparently be charged $25 a minute! Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges. Unfortunately, when you get your phone bill, you'll often be charged more than $100.00

WHY IT WORKS

The 809 area code is located in the British Virgin Islands (the Bahamas) The 809 code can be used as a "pay-per-call" number, similar to 900 numbers in the US. Since 809 is not in the US, it is not covered by US regulations of 900 numbers, which require that you be notified and warned of charges and rates involved when you call a "pay-per-call" number. There is also no requirement that the company provide a time period during which you may terminate the call without being charged. Further, whereas many US phones have 900 number blocking to avoid these kinds of charges, 900 number blocking will not prevent calls to the 809 code.

No matter how you get the message, if you are asked to call - disregard the message. Be wary of email calls asking you to call an 809 code too. It's important to prevent becoming a victim of this scam, since trying to fight the charges afterwards can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call. If you complain, both our local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong.
Please use the form at the bottom of this page to advise your friends, family and colleagues of this scam so they don't get ripped off.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork. --Kin Hubbard

*Of course, this option is no longer available. You are free to leave any comments you wish to leave, however the person you would be responding to is not available and will not see what you have said. As for my opinion on this subject, I have previously posted such here.

**This hoax is for real. I have previously searched and found it is true, but not that common and the figures posted are much lower than some of the email about the same thing I have had forwarded to me on several occasions. The advice is good. However, not all numbers in such area code are involved, only a few. I guess that is like saying not every Nigerian is involved in email scams, huh? Just enough to make a problem.

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

The Bard I was so long ago

Well, heck, this is not new, but it is new to this blog. I guess I have posted this poem on every site I have ever had. Why? I think it is a good poem for one, I wrote it for another thing, and it is the only poem I ever wrote that I thought was ever worth sharing with anyone. Of course, I wrote it with one girl in mind, and actually gave it to her. She loved it, but then told me she was a lesbian and wasn't really interested in men. My life has been filled with thrills like that. Anyway, for your enjoyment [it rhymes]:

HO HO HO and a bottle of HUM!

Was this just a particularly slow blogging day or was it just me? I hardly found anything interesting to post about and spent all day looking. I apologize for the paltry fare I served, and hopefully something exciting is on the horizon. Oh, wait, there is another Rusty Rucker column to post. That is at least something for which to look forward. Surely it will be more interesting than anything I had to show today, including a picture of me in my underwear.*

*Or a part** of me in my underwear. After all, this page is only rated "R," mostly for adult language and now for some nudity. I am sure if you saw what I offered, you likely wished you hadn't. ;)

**No, it wasn't that part.

How many Kevins does it take

to put on a California Recall Election review? Heck if I took time to count 'em, but there are a mess of 'em bloggin' 'bout it and some that ain't. Our favorite Kevin,* master of the Wizbang! brings you the line-up.

*Actually my own brother is a Kevin which would naturally make him my favorite Kevin, but he doesn't blog. I can't even get him to reply to my email.

Not appropriate for viewing by old ladies or young children

Well, I have been holding back on this story all day until I could get home. It seems today is, or people are wanting it to be, National Underwear Day. According to the story michele broke, everyone was to display a part of their underwear today for the rest of the world to see. I actually was hoping to save such intimacy for my next wedding night, but if that be the will of the world:

Mittwoch's* mental meanderings

Yes, seems Paul found this story** about this new Internet driven craze to gather all these mindless mobs for inane purposes:

On a recent Thursday in New York's Central Park, about 200 people gathered across from the Museum of Natural History and started chirping, tweeting, crowing and muttering "bird call, bird call."

After a few minutes of organized cacophony, the group of strangers dispersed, having successfully brought off a "flash mob," summer's wackiest craze.

Also called "flocking" and "inexplicable mobbing," it's sweeping the globe as groups summoned by e-mail or cell phone perform Monty Pythonesque pranks lasting 10 minutes or less, then scatter to the winds.

*Mittwoch is my favorite German word, mainly because it is one of the few I can actually recall. It literally means middle of the week, which to me is a much better name for the day than Wednesday.

**Paul claims a reader slipped him the link. He is still afraid to come out of the closet and admits he goes FARKing.

***I am not an organizer of stupidity anyway, I am just the ignorant guy that dreams up most of it.

Ted Williams head again?

Only this time I about broke up reading something about Ted Willams frozen head. This is what Anna [Primal Purge] had to say:

Special announcement -- The head of Ted Williams has just filed papers to run for Governor of California.

There is no truth to the rumor that the rest of his body was declared a "hanging chad" in the state of Florida.

Weird things sometimes come your way

All morning long, my office connection was running at the rate of somewhere in the neighborhood of 18.1K, but I was able to post entries and do what I normally do. It just takes time sometimes at that rate, but I often have connections showing a higher rate of transfer that transfer nothing. I have posted several messages and had another one ready to post.* My connection died. It reconnected, disconnected, reconnected, disconnected, and then I got a pretty nice steady 46.6K connection. But it would not connect to my page or my MT console. I was able to download email and was able to access a couple of other pages I checked, but I saw nothing transferred when I tried to access anything residing on my server space.

That has happened in the past. Usually such means that my server is down for whatever reason or there is a break along the internet backbone, and I can usually easily tell if such is the case by attempting to access my webserver's homepage. If my site does not show, their page will not show. Only this time it did. So, I am thinking, oh my George! Did I finally exceed my bandwidth limitations? I am not even sure what my bandwidth limitations are.

But I am here at the house, where I stopped by on my way from a Dr. Pepper run just to see if this connection, which is usually much better than the one at the office,** had the same problems. It seems it doesn't. Now I can return to the office without worrying that I have to call my server and see what I could do about upping my bandwidth limitations. I still may have to do that sometime in the future ... when I start getting InstaPundit-like traffic. If that happens, I might have to put a tip jar on the counter.

*I guess I will have to adjust the time now so that it will appear above this one, or might likely be overlooked by my three four regular readers.

*I highly suspect the difference is the internal lines in my building. Our cable company has finally installed the fiber-optic network and cable connections are now available. I just do not know if I can fit such into my budget, yet.

Just what you have been waitin' for!

The 47th edition of the Carnival of the Vanities is now officially available for your viewing pleasure. The gals over at Right We Are did a fantastic job with a difficult task. Visit and show your appreciation for all of their hard work.

And what do the Saudis think?

Thanks to Graham Lester, I was directed to the website for The Committee Against Corruption in Saudi Arabia (C.A.C.S.A) [link goes to the FAQ page]. What I thought was very interesting what their take on all of the surrounding countries:

What do you Think of Israel? Syria? Egypt? The Palestinian Authority? Lebanon? Iraq? Iran?

Israel: CACSA views Israel as the only true democracy in the Middle East (Democracy, very simply, is having the choice to decide on your own leader by a majority, uncontested votes of the population) with admiration and jealousy. Israel's parliamentary system gives its citizens, whether they are Orthodox or Sectarian Liberals, a voice in their government, something CASA believes should be the goal of every country in the Middle East.

Syria: The most backward country in the world. 30 years of Asad reign are hailed by world leaders when in fact all he did was send Syria in downward spiral politically, socially, and economically. It is estimated that 50% of the population is disguised behind an informant mentality and people live to fear and to be hungry. Syria is comparable to North Korea in many ways (Last 2 nations not to have cellular phones, Internet, etc..)

Egypt: Once a great nation with a history to match, today has been turned into an autocratic state with rigged elections and a corrupt leader whose children have embarked, like locusts, on enriching themselves. It is estimated that out of 70 million people in Egypt, 40 million walk without shoes. Mubarak's latest successful assault is on the freedom of speech. CACSA admired Anwar Sadat for his courage and hate of corrupt officials. When Sadat died, he owned literally nothing because he spent his life paying attention to Egypt and not his own pockets.

The Palestinian Authority: Nothing that can be said about Yasser Arafat could be untrue if intellectual Palestinians are allowed to say it. Since the inception of this Authority, Arafat has ruled this small piece of land with an iron fist against any dissidence or vocal opposition. His corrupt cabinet level ministers have accessed the bulk of the aid that has been received with his full knowledge and participation. CACSA opposes for people like that to rule Jerusalem. They will destroy it.

Lebanon: Lebanon, once hailed as the Switzerland of the Middle East, is more and more starting to resemble Syria if not for the Christians minority, who have resisted the onslaught of the civility of the Alawites just West of them. When Lebanon used to boast true democracy, today elect officials that have been pre-determined in some government office in Damascus. Rafic Harriri governs like Fahd, with total disregard for true financial planning. Prior to Hariri coming to power as Prime Minster, Lebanon had $1 billion in debt. Today Lebanon has $20 billion in debt and pays approximately 85% of its tax revenues to service that debt.

Iraq: There is no room in this world for leaders to invade or lob Scud missiles onto their neighbors. We all await his departure with impatience.

Iran: Once the pariah of the Middle East, now coming around with sensible policies and outlook. A great history mired with conflicts and religious zealotry. We welcome them back onto the fold and wish them free and wholesome elections.

Gimmee a f'n break!

It seems that I rankled michele and Bill with my comments in an earlier post. George, if I didn't like 'em, I would not have even said anything. If I wanted to make 'em cry, I woulda been mean, but I never am. If ya can't josh your friends, who can ya josh? I am sorry if my light-hearted humor aimed in their direction didn't quite hit the mark. My eyes are not quite focused yet. I linked 'em! I sent readers their way. Well, actually, in the case of michele, I might have found a thrill seeker or two who came this way to see what that trackback was all about. They didn't likely stay long.

I thought it was funny. I ragged myself too. Heck we can't all come up with stuff like Harvey, can we?

Something really inane

It seems that Tom Clancy has written a book about my dental problems. Now won't that be a must read. [back story here]

Where's the Beef?

I sorely wanted to comment about this. Maybe I will just let you decide on your own. I guess that what I wanted to say was that I am about as concerned with Ted Williams frozen dead body as I am about what the fuck Maureen Dowd thinks of blogging. Give us something we can put our teeth into, michele! The hors d'oeuvres suck! ;)

Hmmm, I guess I haven't served any great fare myself yet either. Slow news day? Well, Bill is on, maybe I will have someone to pick on.

The trouble with time

For the last several days, most of the clocks in my house have been flashing the wrong time. With the rash of thunderstorms, the electricity has gone off several times, sometimes for just a few seconds, sometimes for a few minutes. If there were any long term power outages, they were while I slept and I did not notice.

What is uncanny is that I have arisen at close to the same time as my alarm would ring on every day that I had to arise early. On Sunday, I slept right through without any concern for getting up. Do we actually have a biological alarm clock that arouses us when needed? I think so.

But then again, maybe it is just this blog. Maybe at some point, I become obsessed with getting in here, turning on this computer and putting something down for my adoring readers. Today is Wednesday. To me, that means two things: It is the middle of the work week, so about lunch time, I will be as close to next weekend as I am to last weekend and my visitation rate should be as high as it will be for the entire week. Yes, for the past month, I have seen the number of visitors to this site be the higher on Wednesdays than any other day of the week. Why Wednesday? What makes Wednesday the day everyone wants to read my blog?

Is it because it is the middle of the work week and the pressing beginning of the week business matters are finally concluded and people have a chance to relax at work? Is it because I seem to post such great things for people to see on Wednesdays? Is this just another one of those imponderable mysteries than will never be solved?

What is the point of this post? I seem to have lost it. I was just wondering how many of you had clocks flashing 12:00 here and there because those damn things are such a hassle to set. I mean, when the microwave, two VCRs, and the two alarm clocks reset to 12:00, I have two remaining sources for the correct time: this computer and my watch. The latter I have to locate from time to time, as I may have taken it off in some unusual place and it is laying in an unusual location. Does anyone really know what time it is? Most of the time, I really don't care. I think that is why all those clocks are flashing the wrong time. It is not important enough to me to know what the exact time is for me to go through the hassle of once again setting them to display the right time.

The sun comes up and it goes down. I do try to get up soon after the sun rises, and I do seem to go to bed several hours after it sets, usually when I get tired. Clocks don't really matter, do they? They are just an evil invention of the evil overlords to enslave and control us.

Now, take that for whatever it is worth. Who knows, I might change my mind later. If I find the time. Maybe I just need to wake up. This is a dream, isn't it? I didn't really type all that inanity? Did I?

The news is official!

Blazoned in bold red letters across the top of the entry page to the main page of the Blogosphere Ecosystem:

The Ecosystem is broken by yet another mysterious problem. Will fix when I can --- sorry. -NZB

Episode No. 24

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

November 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

I'm gonna start out a bit different this month. It is the time of Thanksgiving and we all have lots to be thankful for. So first thing, I want to THANK my dear friend, Kim, for allowing me to use her poem to help get us all into a Thanksgiving frame of mind:

THANKSGIVING

The time of year has come, my friend
The summer's passed away
The morning air now holds a chill
Which grows each passing day

The trees have just begun to sleep
Their leaves dance to the ground
The beauty of their fall, unique
And scattered all around

This time of year is special
And different in its ways
It offers us reflection
Of this years passing days

We call this time Thanksgiving
For so much, it is due
So we give thanks for those we love
And friendships old and new

It won't be long until the trees
Reach toward the sky so bare
And icy winds will soon replace
The chill that's in the air

But those cold winds will not affect
The warmth our hearts still hold
For all the ones that we give thanks
Will help us through the cold

I send this so that you will know
Within my heart so true
When I give thanks, Thanksgiving Day
My thoughts will include you
~ < c >K. Plaisance 11/99

It's also the time for electing a new President of these United States of America. Now, I have mixed emotions about the election. I know we need a new President. No quarrel with that. Only thing is, which one do we need least. It's a shame that our political system is in such a muddle that we are compelled to choose by elimination. Don't s'pose we'll ever have any real say as to who holds this office of the highest power in the world.

In a message dated 10/11/2000 5:21:34 PM Central Daylight Time, Shanvau writes:

Guess our national leaders didn't expect this, hmm? Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's sub-committee.

What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert!

These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:

Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.

The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.

In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.

I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy -- it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves.

I wrote a poem that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.

Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"

You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!

Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc.

Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact.

What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA.

They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws.

Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.

Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking place that will not be squelched!

We do not need more religion.

We do not need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage.

We do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic needs are being ignored.

We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God!"

As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right!

I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA- I give to you a sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!

Do what the media did not ... let the nation hear this man's speech. Please use the form[*] at bottom of this page to send this to everyone you can!!!

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

If you don't believe you have anything to be thankful for, be thankful for the privilege to express that belief. --Rusty Rucker

*Of course, there is no form at the bottom of this post, but there is a permalink which you can use to (re)inform people of this message which I have not personally checked for accuracy.

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Where's Waldo? or at least a good facsimile*

Now I am going to have to search for one of my snarkiest posts to submit to Venemous Kate. Thanks for the heads up, Susie. I missed it. She tipped Kevin** for the find.

OFF TOPIC: Ummm, got another one of those great Texas thunderstorms brewin' outdoors and I can feel the ozone in the air already. That means I will be sleepin' well tonight!***

*OK, not the best title, but then ya'll never did remark on the one I thought was about the best I ever came up with, did ya?

**What is with the avalanche of Kevin links today, Susie?

***Even if it is alone.

The strange thought for today*

Maybe this will become a regular feature as I do seem to get some pretty strange thoughts on a regular basis. I actually intended to post this right after I got back from the store on my last Dr. Pepper** run. I happened to notice this female feline lying in the road cleaning its genital area. I was just unsure of how to fit the word pussy into that description. Then I consdered what would happen if it had jumped up and ran off without putting up a fight if another feline had happened along. Would that be a pussy lapping pussy who turned pussy at any sign of attack? Would that be a sign the cat was from France?

*This one is most likely fodder for next week's Bonfire.

**Advertising space for the greatest soft drink on the market is available here for cheap.

Help: Brain Death Imminent

Had it not been for another linkalanche from my favorite blogger, Susie, I might have overlooked announcing that Kevin has indeed posted the most wonderful Bonfire of the Vanities for this week. Do please be sure to read this post* You have like already read mine, but if you haven't, it is here.**

*You owe me one, Susie! Pay up or I am telling Kilroy.

**I really did not think that it was worthy of burning on the pile, but I couldn't find anything actually close.

Generic Remark (replace with brand name if wanted)

Tonight's Final Thought by SilverBlue is remarkable. That is the remark I wanted to make.

This post is worthy of seeing: in other words

Now if Glenn Reynolds could only be as eloquent as this, maybe people would not rag on him so badly.

Legal loopholes: The ends justify the means?

Jed at newly blogrolled Boots and Sabers points to this story in which the use of threatened phony unlawful drug checkpoints along an Interstate Highway as a subterfuge so as to make those who are carrying drugs decide to make an illegal U-turn to avoid being checked. The Sheriff's Department then uses the illegal U-turn as a reason to stop the driver and then search the vehicle for drugs. Don't ya just love the way the War on Drugs is causing all this thinking on how we can get around the laws by the law enforcement agencies? See, you can't just stop everyone and search their car for drugs, because that is illegal. The Supremes have said so. So, how do you get around that ruling? You say you are going to do it, you put up a big sign saying you are going to do it, and those who think you are going to do it and don't want you to find anything will try to avoid letting you do it and turn around and go the other way. Guess what? Now they can do it, because you broke a law which allows them to stop you and search you incident to that arrest.

I don't know. I can see a very good fruit of the poisonous tree argument there. The check point is illegal, therefore advertising the checkpoint is illegal, therefore any action taken by the police resulting from activity associated with their illegal action should be illegal. The story says they have not netted any big fish in their efforts, but you can bet if they continue such and do net someone with some bucks, SCOTUS may be looking into this activity at some later point. What really concerns me is that law enforcement is so gung ho to use any means possible to stop something that has been shown to be unstoppable.

As I have said before, there has not been a decrease in drug supply or drug use; there has only been a movement from one drug to another, and with each succeeding movement, the drugs get more dangerous and more addictive. When can we get this damn drug mess out of the shadows and out into the open when we can deal with the real root of the drug problem? Where are the jobs? What sort of life can we offer people?

A nation full of McDonald's and Wal-Mart employees is not a nation where opportunity exists. Bring back the factories, bring back production, bring back construction. Take all those tax dollars spent on the damn War on Drugs and start using them to repair and rebuild the infrastructure. Give people a life worth living and maybe they will not find so many ways to block out the pain accompanying the one they have.

Joe Jay vs. the Volcano Bug*

It seems Jay is fighting a nasty bug. No, nothing causing any physical ailments, because this one seems to be some nasty computer virus he most likely caught from his dad. Jay, please do not send me any email for awhile.

It does make me happy that I did just update my McAfee, but maybe I need to do that reboot now to install those new defs and then do a system scan. Jeez, who in the Hell thinks it is so much fun to cause so much havoc by creating those damn things. My little head up under this tin-foil lined hat thinks it is likely all those jerks who make and sell virus protection programs, or that were fired from such companies, but I could be wrong. It could be a bunch of those dweebs who are too afraid to troll comments, or hack porno passwords, or send thousands of SPAM messages from remote holes in the ground ... who have nothing worthwhile to offer humanity. You know the sort.

*I selected this particular movie title to cut all to pieces because as I watched such movie, I had this recurring thought: When is all this insanity finally going to end?

Sic 'em George, by George!

Who is George Turner and what is he doing blogging over at Serenity's Journal? However, whoever he is, he tore the Brits a new asshole over this human rights debacle.

The Daypop mystery

OK, I got about 15 hits from Daypop for a period of about 1.5 hours close to lunch time and I am befuddled as to why I was so high up the list as to draw so many hits. If anyone has any idea as to why this occurred, please feel free to leave any clues in the comments.

Now, for the strangest search and return on Google today: Someone searched for left right middle and I came up #1. I do know why I came up #1, as I have such a great talent in titling posts to get good returns on Google, but who in the heck would use those terms on a search and why? What were they possibly hoping to find?

[Update: And Rusty scored a #1 hit on Google for LANCE RENTZEL FLASHING. Way to go Rusty! Not bad for a dead guy.]

Ain't it f**king pathetic?

If you do a Google search for "i need a life", quotes included, I come up as #5 on the return list. And I am almost sure I need a life worse than say #4:

I need a Life time partner

Posted by Tiger at 04:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This Blogosphere amazes me!

There are days when I post inanity after inanity, always trying to be very humorous and it seems like no one visits on those days. You do not believe me? Check out how many times I posted on the 6th of this month. where I posted 16 messages and I got 265 visitors, and yet today, I only posted one message and at 3:30 pm. with 8.5 hours left in the day, I have already had 144 people visit? Now, taking my calculator in hand, 265/16=about 16.5 visits per message, and today's I can figure out without even using the calculator: 144/1=144 visits per message. Wow, I surely did not think that message was as dynamic as it has become. I just wonder why InstaPundit didn't pick up on that. Wait, maybe that is the answer. Maybe I am in the middle of an Instalanche. I doubt it, though. I don't think Glenn pays any attention to inaniacs.

Why have I only posted one message today? See the extended entry for the story.

[Update: It seems that at 1:43:28 pm CDT, I was linked in the TOP 40 on Daypop. I wish I had been here to see what all the hullabaloo was about. I wonder what everyone was looking for. Maybe I do need to see if InstaPundit finally recognized my existence for once.]

[UDATE DITTO: I really hate to be updating this and the prior post as often as I have today, but I am going through trying to find why I had so many visitors today. I keep finding all these Google searches. I found someone who actually found me searching with texas and pledge of allegiance and spanish where I came up second on the list. I am so very glad to have found it linked to one of my favorties posts: There really is NOWHERE like TEXAS, one that I penned almost exactly 2 months ago.]

It all began at the close of business yesterday. After I made it home, I actually backed the car in so as to make it easier to remove the battery from the Mustang sitting in front of my house that never moves to swap with the dead battery in the Lincoln. However, I completely forgot about that after my headache had finally subsided to the point where I could actually accomplish that task. I went right off to bed after seeing that counter click over to 7500, and fell to sleep listening to the sounds of the raging thunderstorm outside. It is weird how relaxed I feel hearing all that thunder and seeing the light flashes on the blinds as the lightening reflects off of the other side, and I love the way the wind blows and the rain pelts the windows behind its driving force. I slept like a baby. Well, not quite, as I didn't wake up in a wet soggy diaper, but the sleep was sound.

I awoke this morning believing there was nothing urgent for me to do this morning, and was in the bathroom taking my time sitting on the toilet, doing what I do every morning, when I hear this racket going on outside, my dogs barking, Comanche trying to pull the porch down tugging on her chain, and someone honking. I jump up and run in to look through a crack in the blinds to see what the ruckus was all about, and I see this car sitting out front. I don't recognize it, but they are still honking. I decide surely it is important, so I pull on something and go outside. "Are you still going to court with me this morning?" A voice yells out the window.

"About what?"

"About my ex-husband trying to send me to jail because my daughter will not go visit with him. Remember, I told you she was scared of him."

"Is that today, I thought you said it was next week."

"It is today."

"OK, I will be there. It is at 10:00, right?" I know it is just a little before 9:00 and the court is in the next town over, at least 20 minutes drive, so it had better be at 10:00 or neither of us was going to be there.

"Yes. Do you want us to go on over there?"

"Yes, I will be there soon." They drive off.

I rushed in, bathed quickly and dressed and was out the door in less than 10 minutes. I am a guy, I can do that. I jump into my car, turn the key over, dead. Oops, I forgot something. OK, I can do what I used to do with my other car that had an electrical short and was found dead almost every morning. I ran back in the house to get the Mustang keys, intending to start it and drive it close enough to jump the Lincoln off, and it turned over several times and would not start. I tried again, same result. I tried one third time, and could tell the battery was starting to pull down. Out of gas, I am almost sure. I don't drive it, so I never put any gas in it. The tank says "E" and I have no reason to doubt it. I go inside and call my secretary and tell her to look in the client's file and check to see if she has a cell number. Call them and tell them I am stuck and may be late.

I didn't have any cigarettes, so I walked the block to the store to get my morning DP and a pack of smokes and was almost there when the client pulls up next to me and says, you can ride with us. We make it to court on time. The case washes out because the whole ploy is a subterfuge by the ex to get her to agree to terminate his rights so he doesn't have to continue to pay child support. I tell her it is not wise to do so, but she says he is not paying anyway, and that the kid hates him. I talk to the kid, tell her that if he terminates his rights, he is no longer her dad. She says that is good, she hates him. We all come home.

It is lunch hour, so I change clothes, putting on some old jumpsuit I have from when I worked airfreight and commence to taking the battery out of the Lincoln. I laid it on the ground and I then went and took the battery out of the Mustang and brought it over to the Lincoln. No way. The posts are aligned right, but the Mustang battery is too tall and the positive clamp will not even get close to the post. I had to arrange a ride to the next town to get another battery. I actually could have gotten one locally, but I save about $30 bucks going to O'Reilly's. I may not be the poorest person in town, but I am a penny pincher when it comes to value. I am not forking over an extra $30 just because I happen to live in a little tiny town where every business seems to gouge on their prices. Well, not everybody, mainly restaurants, grocery stores and auto parts dealers. I got the new battery, $49.00 plus tax, plus recycle fee. Funny how they charge $8 if you don't exchange your old battery, but charge you $3 when you bring it in. They don't like you chunkin' them old batteries off into the lake. Seems it kills the fish or something.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Your Early Morning News*

Well, it appears NZB has finally awoken from his summer hibernation and has discovered the fragging of the Ecosytem. One hopes that the problems will be rectified soon, so that one can return to one's place among the possums or oxen and get away from those creepy crawly belly-scrapin' slimy snakes.

*Or, I am still too groggy to think up a really snarky title, so live with it.

Wow! Am I ever surprised!

I just found out I am tied for 51st place on Blogdex. Not even close to where Kelley showed today, but it impressed me. Oh, and Kelley, if you see this, read this please.

And the 7500th visitor was someone who found this post searching Google for altoids tooth enamel.

Episode No. 23

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

September 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

I swore I wouldn't take sides on anything political, but George Bush Jr. done rubbed me wrong when he started talking about letting us who draws Social Security invest a part of our income in the stock market. He is totally out of touch with reality. How much does he think we get?

Maybe if SSI amounted to more than just enough to keep us alive (Some live on dog food -- the dry kind) we might be inclined to make some investments like Bush and all the other millionaire Republicans, but not one out of ten of the folks surviving on Social Security knows a pig's ear about investing. We would have to rely on brokers. Now, wouldn't that be a great opportunity to lose all our fingers (and toes)?

Nah! I think we need to take what we get and invest it in beans and potatoes so we may survive another hot summer without air conditioning and a cold, cold winter with little or no heat.

"Dad-gum-it"! you scream, "What about the Democrats"? Well now, I have had some things to say about them in the past. For those what has a short memory, go to: http://camalott.com/~chili/rusty23.htm">June 2000 Gun Control
and see what I said about thet.

Truth is -- What either says in campaign promises and what they does if they gets in is two entirely different horses. If there wuz only a way to oust all politicions and bring in farmers, truck drivers, oil field workers, ranchers, housewives, school teachers, and so fourth, we could have a real Government by the People and For the People.

What do you think about this?[*]--

Our Senators and Congressmen do not pay into Social Security, and of course, they don't collect from it. The reason is that they have a special retirement plan that they voted for themselves many years ago.

For all practical purposes, it works like this: When they retire, they continue to draw the same pay, until they die, except that it may be increased from time to time, by cost of living adjustments.

For instance, former Senator Bradley, and his wife, may be expected to draw $7.9 Million, with Mrs. Bradley drawing $275,000 during the last years of her life. This is calculated on the average life span for each. This would be well and good, except that they pay nothing in on any kind of retirement, and neither does any other Senator or Congressman.

This fine retirement comes right out of the General Fund. Our tax dollars at work. While we who pay for it all, draw less than $1,000 per month on average from Social Security.

How good could Social Security really be?

A first step to finding out would be to jerk the Golden Fleece retirement out from under the Senators and Congressman, and put them in Social Security with the rest of us, and watch how fast they fix it.

No reason to live in a fantasy world. That will never happen. Wouldn't we all like to have a job where we can vote our own raises, health plan, retirement plan, while we keep our hands out for whatever BIG BUSINESS wants to slip into it.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

*I have received this information several times in emails and have never gone through the time to actually checked it for accuracy. However, I personally suspect it is likely pretty accurate.

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Purely gratuitous linkage

Susie has been cracking me up with her comments to some of my posts, so she gets a gratuitous link.

Damn, those last ten visits look like they are going to be hard to get before I go to bed. Has all my readership already gone to bed?

And a little justice for dessert!

Kristopher of The World Around You reported on a judge in Nebraska who decided that a burrito recipe actually justified the smell of alcohol on a guy's breath. Read his story for a clue as to what was in the burrito recipe to make the judge come to that conclusion.

You can bet Glenn Reynolds had nothing about this on InstaPundit. [UPDATE: I checked and he hasn't picked up on the story.]

So Tiger, whatcha doing?

Other than nursing a headache and reading a lot of what other people have been writing on their blogs over the last few hours and commenting to some of it, I am watching that damn Site Meter counter as it closes in on 7.5K. I am not sure why it is significant, other than it marks halfway between 5K and 10K. And not really a bad number for less than half of two months of tracking. I remember my first, what I thought was a really popular website, amassed like 300 hits over a two month period and I was literally on cloud nine, thinking I had one of the most popular sites on the internet. Of course, that was like 7 years ago, and the site was on geocities, before Yahoo took it over and it was called: The Electronic Teabag. Now that was probably not all that interesting to read, but didn't it beat that stink bait* that Bill was using to lure catfish today?

Hmmm, and I am pretty sure that Susie reads my blog, what, every once in a blue moon?

[Update: I make a snarky crack about Susie and she pongs me, and I had to rebuild the whole site just to fix it.]

*Sorry Bill, but I still ain't bitin'.

I oughta be horsewhipped!

Kelley did all that hard work putting together this week's Cul-de-Sac and I have not even mentioned it. Well, let me do so now. As the proverbial cliché says, better late than never. My sincerest apologies, Kelley!

Don't you ever wonder?

Jeff Trigg of RandomActOfKindness found this story about an acquittal by a jury in a case involving proecution for Income Tax Evasion.

Juror Barbara Snodgras of Memphis said the jury did not convict because "we all felt that the prosecution didn't prove its case."

And the answer is?

Say you had a day where all day long this nagging headache was creeping up on you, and the longer the day went on the more it looked like it was going to be one of those eye-blinding, mind-numbing, I wish I was dead migraines, and all you were looking forward to was for the clock to hit 5:00 so you could go home, down a half a bottle of whatever analgesics you could locate, take a hot shower and allow the streaming water to numb that pain and then hopefully it would subside enough for you to function somewhat. What would be the worst thing you might think could occur?

Well, finding your car with a completely dead battery on a 100 degree day might not be the completely worst thing that could hapen, but it damn sure is likely to be close to the top of that list. Just sitting here, throbbing head in hands, awaiting the return of my mechanic from his foray to the neighboring burg on a parts run. I think that 10-year-old battery finally bit the dust, or at least I hope that is what it is. Anything more major will definitely not help* this pounding in my skull.

[Update: I am home and hoping the analgesics take effect soon. Thunderstorm is brewing so hopefully things will cool off also a few degrees.]

*I had a much better word to use here, but I had no idea how to spell it.

1984 is not just for nightmares anymore

Tony Rosen of I Am Always Right may not actually always be right, but did a good job of pointing out that there is nothing really to argue against putting webcams into classrooms. [full story]

Although I am not hopeful to see a beginning to a Big Brother environment on a general basis, I actually think monitoring of classrooms for the benefit of students, teachers, school systems, parents and, if need be, the law enforcement community, is the first positive step in improving what is broke with the our present day school systems. If they could still take a recalcitrant child to the principal's office and whack their butt a few times like they did in my day, and that the parents took the teacher's side of the story against that of their child, maybe things would not have gotten to this point where constant monitoring is necessary. However, with all the parents who seem to think their Little Johnny is different than the rest of the thugs that inhabit our planet and should be picked out for special molly-coddling and handling with kid gloves, maybe being forced to sit in a chair, Clockwork Orangish, eyes held open by toothpicks, and watch their darling 4th grader shooting spitballs across the room at some other child while the teacher was trying to teach the rest of the class how to add numbers without the assistance of a calculator will literally open their eyes as to how Little Johnny behaves while in class.

From Aunt Net's mailbag

If you are a regular reader, you know I have a loving aunt on AOL who sends me barrages of forwards on occasions. Sometimes I find something worth sharing:

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

Blogosphere inanities, etc.

Well, for almost a week, the Blogosphere Ecosystem has been fragged. It is not like this is the first time such has happened, because, if I remember right, we just went through this ordeal a week or so ago. Now, I am not ragging too hard on NZB, mainly because I have no idea how hard it is to set up what makes the system work. Additionally, I have no idea what is going on in NZB's life, and maybe there is a good reason he has let such dilemma slip through his fingers. And, he was doing it without any kind of compensation. Still, it was such a great idea, and so many people were enjoying watching how they moved up, and sometimes down, on the evolutionary ladder, I am so disappointed not being able to check my status each morning. There really seems to be nothing else like it anywhere else. Sure you can check Technorati to see who is linking to you and everything, but I never seem to find how I compare to other blogs out there. To me, that is the best part of the Blogosphere Ecosystem listing, being able to see not only how I am doing, but also how others are doing.

In other news, my internet connection has decided to be super sucky today, so who knows how often I will be able to get anything posted. Hopefully things will clear up at some time, but I have had whole days where it seemed impossible to do anything on the Internet. The bad part is that I have 51 emails waiting on the server, and 31 downloaded on the last attempt, but somehow the mail server did not get the message, so if I ever get it to download, I will have at least 31 duplicates, provided the same scenario does not reoccur several more times. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Current speed shown: 21.6Kps

I had one other thought, but the synapses rerouted it to some area that I cannot locate currently. Oh, it came to me. I just noticed now that I actually was seeing my blog showing to be updated on people's blogrolls, I have actually not had as many problems with pinging blogrolling.com. They actually are going through the first time, which never happened before.

For your morning enjoyment

Kim Crawford of Velociworld, newly blogrolled*, wants to know what you called your genitals as a child. Just the sort of inanity you likely want to join in on. I did! Mine was a pecker and it still is.

*I seemed to need a "V" blog in the listing anyway, so luckily I found one worthy of being included in my reading list.

Episode No. 22

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

July 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Have you ever wondered--what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?[*]

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.

Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr, noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over his home for their headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. His home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart.

Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.

Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: "For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."

They gave you and me a free and independent America.The history books never told you a lot about what happened in the Revolutionary War. We didn't fight just the British. We were British subjects at that time and we fought our own government!

Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't. So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!

I hope you will show your support by please sending this to as many people as you can. It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. P.T.F.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it." ---John Fitzgerald Kennedy

*Regrettably, I got this same message emailed to me this last 4th of July and decided to check for the accuracy of this information. From my research, this information was attributed to Paul Harvey, sometime in the 1950's, and most of it is fairly inaccurate. However, all people who opposed the English during the American Revolution did sacrifice much for our freedom, so the message is still worth remembering.

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Manic Sunday

Well, today was the day I was gonna figure out how to have my site show to be updated on blogrolls no matter what. It started out with me exchanging emails with Jason, who seems to know the inside of blogrolling well, and once I had figured out what to do to get it to show my site was updated, I found the problem was how you have to configure MT. Then I had to change my URL and of course, that is going to confuse the heck out of all my readership and those who are linked to my blog. Now everyone else is going to have to change all those links. I am so sorry, folks. I did not want to have to put you through all that extra trouble. Really! But I really do think it will help in the future, because now, if everyone changes those links on their blogrolls, hopefully you will be able to look at your list of links and see when I have updated. Now won't that be more fun? As for me, that is just about enough fun for me for one day, so I think I will call it a day.

OK, blog has moved

You have probably noticed that the blog has moved from http://tiglaw.com/blog/Tiger-rant.html to http://tiglaw.com/blog/

This change, although not something that I wanted to so, was necessary to fix a bug wherein I could not effectively send pings to blogrolling.com with my main page named something other than index. I do apologize for the change and hope that all of you will adjust your links and bookmarks accordingly. I have not yet detemined what effect this will have on permalinks, but do not think such will be affected. I likely have other links within my blog that will need to be adjusted and if anyone notices any that go to http://tiglaw.com/blog/Tiger-rant.html please do inform me so that I may correct the errors.

[Sorry about the mistake a few minutes ago. I ftp'd the wrong index file into the blog folder. That is why I did not name this blog file index in the first place.]

Much ado about nothing

Well, actually just not all that important to read. This message is a test to see if I got the blogrolling bug worked out. I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it worked, I will update you with further information.

OK, from what I have discovered so far, it looks like if I do what is necessary to ping from the right URL to correctly show as updated on the blogrolls, I have to put a file name into my site URL configuration in MT. I did that and it worked. But it also cause my page not to display correctly, probably doing something that caused the .css file not to load. I am confused, but I suspect that MT development just assumed that the main page was always going to be named index. As it sits now, it may be best to just do a manual ping through blogrolling's standalone ping page. I will need to wait until I drop off of showing to have updated before I can test whether such will correct my blogroll dilemma. Stay tuned.

OK, gonna see what happens if I try to send a stand alone ping after I put more text on this page.

Can I hear a big AMEN to that?

[T]here are some places that profits should not take a front seat. Medicine is one of them. [SilverBlue]

In the words of the immortal Stan Lee: 'Nuff said.

Maybe for them, but not for me

michele pointed to an intriguing story involving the decision of some bloggers to review their blogging efforts. It seems some are deciding to separate, with password protection, the personal stuff that is intended to be viewed by only a select group from the stuff they want to share with the public at large. The concerns expressed in the story are real, and I understand the decisions made.

I have reflected from time to time the deeply personal information I share on this blog, and I am mindful that there is information that I have chosen not to share for whatever reason. I, however, view this blog as an extension of my personality, as an essential part of who I am. Examine my tagline. It begins with these words: tied to the world. It is my intention to reach out beyond the surroundings of my tiny community to the entire population of this tiny planet. I endeavor to allow each member of humanity to not only know what I think about things but to know who I am. To me, these concepts are intricately intertwined. My opinions hold more force when coupled with the knowledge of who I am and how I choose to live my life. It is as simple as that. Do I fear that anything I say will come back and bite me in the butt? Sure, but I will definitely face that time when it comes. If someone wants to find me, it is not difficult. My office address can be located easily enough. Approximately 50% of the people in my hometown of 2500 can probably tell you in which house I live. I can promise you that Comanche would love to meet you. Feel free to drop by.

Read the whole thing

Yeah, I hate having to steal a line from InstaPundit, but I really could not think of anything snarky to say about michele's comments in connection with the moral dilemma associated with downloading CDs free off the internet.

Actually, this does bring to mind a situation that occurred in my past. I once was involved with a couple of Federal investigators who were targeting a friend of mine for what I thought was a petty offense, following his refusal to assist them in an investigation of some of his contemporaries for suspected judicial bribery. I was chastising them a bit for their persecution of my friend when one of them said that they were only doing their job, because it was their job to find and punish everyone who violated Federal law. I then asked him if they had penitentiary space for all Americans. He looked at me and said, not everyone in America violates Federal law. I looked him in the eye and told him that everyone who had access to a computer, VCR, tape recorder, photocopier or other copying or recording device had likely violated one of the copyright laws. He did not respond because I think he knew his own wife was probably guilty of such violation of Federal law ... or his mother.

What did they really expect?

John Cole presents a story about returning soldiers and the plight of those who have no wives, fiancees, or girlfriends awaiting their triumphant return. John labelled it as a sad story. I see it more as of a snapshot of reality. Lonely people exist, even in the military, even those who return from war. I was unsuccessfully chasing skirt during my four year stint in the Army, and never thought my status as protector of the realm afforded any greater degree of sympathy than regular everyday lonely people deserved. Well, actually John might be right about it being sad -- people being lonely is a sad situation.

Episode No. 21

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with some of it.

May, 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Wasn’t planning to take any kind of stand on the Elian Gonzales thing, but since Janet Reno decided to get into it, guess I’ll put in my two cents worth. Seems it’s just the same as Waco. Too much government interference. I don’t say he shouldn’t have been reunited with his daddy, but why break in and kidnap him? After all, his mother gave her life trying to get him out of Cuba. If she had made it alive with him, no doubt they would have been granted asylum. No need to make it into an International incident.

During the winter I put together a couple of Purple Martin houses and mounted them high in the sky. Although it is my first experience with this particular bird I am proud to report, both houses are full of little birds.

I love springtime when everything regenerates. Bluebonnets are beautiful, but a poor crop this year. The Texas dry winter was hard on flowers, lakes, and farmers. Spring hasn’t been much better. Hope we are not headed for another dust bowl like in the early 1930's of which Steinbeck wrote about in “Grapes of Wrath”. That is something we shore don’t need.

If you came directly to this page, I hope you will check out my Homepage. There is a photo of me and my adoptive wolf, Mina. She is such a wonderful creature. Sitting there scratching her tummy it is hard for me to believe how many people think wolves are savage beasts. Far as I am concerned, they are just another breed of dogs and far less aggressive that pit bulls and rottweilers. During the time I have been involved with wolves I have come to understand them better and appreciate them for their intelligence and striking beauty.

Things we learn from our dogs...

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
--Author Unknown

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"If you have men who will exclude creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men".
--Saint Frances

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Thanks for the memories, for real

I have always wondered if I could actually put in the time and effort to track back into my family's past. I know a bit about both sides of my family for four or five generations, due to stories my mom and dad told over the years. But, I suppose we never quite know what kind of life some of out ancestors had. I thought this was rather a sad thing to find out about those of your family that came before you:

There were a few reasons that I started to research my family tree. First, I was inspired by my uncle's research on my mother's side of the family and intrigued by the story of one girl in particular. She would have been a multiple great-aunt. She was born in the l890's and died around the age of sixteen. Most of her years were spent in a workhouse in Wales. I can only imagine the level of poverty and desperation that led her mother to leave four of her seven children at the workhouse. The girl was about three when she entered and sixteen when she died there. I suspect her life held little happiness or love. There are no children to remember her, no grandchildren to tend her grave, but because of my uncle's research, she is not forgotten. Someone knows, and cares, that she once existed.

I cut about an inch off of my . . .

no, not what you were thinking, but just checked out every blog in my blogroll today and trimmed it quite a bit. I deleted a lot of fine blogs, but found that I seldom read them, or if I even checked, I seldom found anything of interest. As I have said time and time again, those blogs on my blogroll are the blogs I read. Of course, now that I have cleared up some of the space, I suppose there are a few I could add. I think there have been a few people who have blogrolled me over the last few days that I have not recognized, and am sure many of these will find a place on that esteemed blogroll. However, as the damn Ecosystem still seems to be fragged, I cannot find the new ones who have linked to me. If you have done so and are not blogrolled, feel free to leave a comment and let me know.

In completely other news: Hey, I need two things, deperately: First off all, does anyone have any pull with blogrolling.com? Isn't that like Dave Winer or someone. I am almost positive my readership would increase insurmountably if my blog would show as updated on people's blogrolls. Secondly, if any of you template gurus would like to assist me in redesigning to a 3 column format so that I could add a bit of stuff on the right side of the blog entries, I would appreciate it. Also, if I could get some tips on how to change my .css file so as to add some spiffy borders or something to snazz up the place, I would likewise be eternally grateful. I am thinking of a black on orange, Tiger type of motiff. Of course, I am not sure how that will play in real life, but isn't experimentation the key to happiness?

Not even close, and I didn't want no smelly cigar

The latest Lileks Bleat column had a lot of bloggers linked, and I was a bit disappointed not to be among them, but was actually happy to see my blog was not under the link to

this, which is one butt-ugly website.

And in other news: I think when Greyhawk finally completes this, I will read the whole thing. I just hate serials.

And in yet not so surprising news: OLDCATMAN is finding that BLOGGER and blog*splat suck! Sure sounds like he needs an MT/munu transfusion, stat!

You write a line, I have a post, honey

and no, this has absolutely nothing to do with crawdads.* I just loved this line from James Russell of Hot Buttered Death:

Christ, you might as well say it was Bush senior's fault Clinton got impeached because if Bush senior hadn't lost the 1992 election Clinton would never have got his cock sucked by Monica...

*If you have bno idea what I am talking about, then you are not a Hank Williams fan or could not understand my play on one of his song titles in the creation of my title.

Monkey see, monkey do . . . or is that it at all?

It seems that I might not be the only one working on my book today, McGehee says he has finished Chapter 3. I am two paragraphs into Chapter 4. Of course, my plot has been known since the second re-write, and this one is the final, I know it! Please do not let me re-write this thing for the fifth time. I am hoping the next time I rewrite this story, it will be the screen play.

In other news, Bill seemed to be a bit more inane than usual today.

Shot down without an effort

I guess I ought to rag on myself a bit about fantasizing that I would even have a chance with a lovely young lass like annika. It seems that she is not even interested in meeting a 40 something dentist her mother recommends, so what chance would an almost 50 something guy like me have winning her affections. Oh well, it was a pipedream anyway, but it was such a very pleasurable pipedream while it lasted. ;)

I didn't mean literally . . .

When I gave a Light Blogging Warning, I was talking about my output, and did not mean for all the rest of the Blogosphere to shut down all day. Is it just me, or has the Blogosphere died this Saturday? No one seems to be posting but Susie and Susie and Susie. Oh, wait, there are a few others: michele, Tony and Stephen.

I have actually noticed that the Blogosphere seems to go in the crapper almost every weekend, and, to me, this seems to point to either: 1. most people blog from work, or 2. people have more exciting lives that I do on the weekends. I suppose there is a possibility it could be both.

Continued Light Blogging

Due to prevailing creative spirit in the local area, caused by a large development in the Alien Attitude™ project occupying a large part of the blogger's brain, The National Inaniac Blogger Service has issued a Light Blogging Warning until later this evening. Please stay tuned to this blog for further development. You are now returned to whatever you were doing. Thank you for you patience.

Light Blogging Warning

Due to the possibility of entertaining physical activity on the horizon, a Light Blogging Warning is hereby issued by the National Inaniac Blogger Service. Please stay turned to this blog for further messsages regarding this activity. We now return you to whatever you were doing.

[UPDATE: So did you have a good time, Tiger? see extended entry for the answer.]

Not particularly. Seems I ran into this girl I met a couple of weeks ago and with whom I had a fantastic lunch this afternoon. I asked her if she would like to get together this evening and do something. I suggested we go out to Scott's bash and listen to some of the bands and such. She says sure. So we make plans to meet. I come home after work, clean up, wash the sweat off, put on my good boots and go to the rendezvous point right on the dot. I wait and wait. Finally after thirty minutes, I leave, come back home, and just on the off-chance that maybe she has finally gotten some minutes on her cell phone, I call it. I get her. Seems some lady had conned her into watching some stuff she had sitting on the side of the road, like garage sale knick-knacks and such, who said she would only be gone an hour or so. She was still there. OK, I am thinking, we have plenty of time, so I go up and sit with her, and sit and sit and sit. Maybe after 30 minutes of sitting, her 15 year old daughter comes up there and hangs around the entire time and talks and talks and talks.

The gal I was there to be with had agreed to work the shift of one of her co-workers the next day, so was already going to have to call it an early night because she has to do 16 hours tomorrow. Finally, we have waited so long for the damn lady who took like severe advantage of her to come back, that the establishment that was providing the lighting (and where the gal with whom I was supposed to be going out works) would be closing within an hour. So finally everyone decides (I was not part of the decision) to pile as much under and around the table and just put a tarp over it. Only no one has a tarp after we get that done. So, one lady at the place calls her husband and we can drive out about 7 miles and get the tarp. So we all load in the car and are just about ready to leave when the damn lady finally drives up. I didn't recognize the lady by name, but I recognized her by face, and I can tell you that whatever the problem was that delayed her was her fault. She came into my office once with some arcane problem and I couldn't get her to leave. She just talked and talked and talked and made no sense. So the lady pulls up and says to the gal how sorry she is, but that she will pay her a bit extra if she will assist her in getting the stuff on the truck. I assist, as does the 15 year old, until I notice the gal I was there to be with is hanging on the side of some junky pickup truck talking to some other guy, so I decided to Hell with working in that heat when I wasn't getting paid and being pissed that she was talking to some guy, and went and sat in my car until the finished. I drove everyone home and then came on home. I did not have a good time ---- at all!

Update posted 10:30 pm

99.99% purely inaniac

Did you see what InstaPundit had to say?

Naw, me either. I didn't read it. I am almost sure he had nothing, good or bad, to say about me or my blog. I bet he hasn't even seen my movie.

Now -- on a more serious note: Does anyone else like to look at those graphs of daily and weekly visitations that Site Meter makes, just to see what kind of things they look like. You know, like when you look up into the clouds and say "Doesn't that look like a horse running backwards at the Kentucky Derby?" or "Doesn't that look like you Aunt Mabel when she bends over in a short dress?" Well, those graphs are interesting to look at, but I can guarantee that none of mine look anything like clouds. They are more like the Tetons or the Alps, not many round corners. Now was not that something you want to write home about?

Can I get in on this?

Dean Esmay is asking those members of the fairer sex, no matter their sexual orientation, to 'fess up to what it is that they truly like about men. I am going to be very interested in what the women have to say on this subject. Wouldn't any man?

I was glad that I was not qualified to provide any information, as he said no SNARKINESS was allowed. I am almost sure I couldn't comment on such a provocative subject without an adequate supply of snarkiness being involved.

I guess it's time now!

I posted something really personal a few days ago. I actually have been reading the comments that have been gathering from Denita of TwoDragons, who has quickly become one of my blogfriends and poured out her heart in consolation for my pain both in the coments and in this post, Dean Esmay of Dean's World who suggested a service that I did look into and may actually try, non-blogger Jefferey McDowell who offered hope and encouragement, Guy, the OLDCATMAN, another blogfriend, who offered empathy and encouragement, new blogacquaintance Ursula, who offered the first kind words of encouragement, and a fine blog post by recently blogrolled margilowry which not only gave sympathy and encouragement, but also sent readers to my post. I am so very thankful and appreciative for all of your kind words and feelings on my behalf.

Today, I have discovered that my very good friend, Charles G. Hill of dustbuy, not only writes a very nice column called The Vent, but that the latest column concerns my post. Thanks for shining a bit of your spotlight my way, Charles!

If you really really LOVE ME:

It seems that Balloon Juice is ready to make some BLOGGER AWARDS, and I really do think I should be up for being the SNARKIEST BLOG! I am not really sure what it means to be the snarkiest blog, but surely if there was a snarkiest blog in the Blogosphere, this would be it. So, if you really, really, really love me [lay it on really thick, Tiger, my boy! ] you will vote for me. Now really, think how lovely it would be to see some graphic on this blog showing this being the SNARKIEST BLOG of 2003? YOU know you want to see that, don't ya? Rusty would!

It does catch up with you

Well, guess who fell asleep at 8:00 pm last night? All that staying up until the wee hours of the morning blogging finally depleted my battery and I badly needed a recharge. Funny though, I still feel like the charger was unhooked a bit too early. I know I could use another 5 hours of snooze time to feel fully refreshed. Stumbling through the day half asleep is nothing new to me, though, so guess another day of it won't kill me. Thank George Its Friday!

The latest DFILM fiasco Update!

It seems FRNAK FRANK has finally taken notice of all the DFILM swipes made toward him and has decided to make his own film. It is not bad, I guess, for a rookie, and it was not really all that funny. Of course, we are talking about Frank J. I am almost sure he got confused when he couldn't find a character to play CHOMPS.

If you say so . . .

There is a reason I am not a big fan of QUIZILLA quizzes. I never find any rhyme or reason with the results returned. I mean, really, does this sound like me?

Episode No. 20

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with some of it.

April, 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

You have heard of "being at the right place at the wrong time". Think that just happened to me a while ago. Was over at a neighbors, jawing about this, that, an' t'other when I happened to notice the 60 minutes program on TV about Wolves.

Now, as a lover of nature and particularly wolves I was mighty upset by some of the things being said. One gun dealer remarked to the effect, "What is going to happen when one of those supposed tamed wolves attacks and kills one of our children'?

Well, in the first place there has never "NEVER" been a case in recorded history where a healthy wolf attacked a human -- but if one did, it would be a only drop in the bucket to how many Pit Bulls and Rottwilers turn on their owners every year. Or, to put it bluntly, how many men and women have raped, tortured, and murdered their own kind -- even blood kin. Before we begin to worry about the danger from a few wolves, let us take a lesson from their strict hierarchy order.

As a person who has walked with wolves, sat on God's earth and played and scratched bellies and, been licked affectionately in the face. I'll tell you something that may come as a great surprise. Wolves are just another breed of dogs. Not unlike Siberian Huskies which are used extensively to work in captivity. Even now, there are thousands of places in Alaska, Canada and Siberia that are accessible only by dog sleds or helicopters. Last time I heard, few Eskimos own helicopters.

I have seen wild dogs -- dogs abandoned by their owners and forced to fend for themselves do outrageous things a Wolf would never do. Wolves are predators by nature, just like Lions, Bears, and Mankind -- except wolves and bears kill only for food -- never for sport. Wolves left to their own devises will feed on weak, lame, and injured, animals. Ever wonder what happens to the deer wonded by a hunter, but not killed?

Wolves are not out to prove how smart they are to bring down a prized bull or a healthy elk, though a pack could easily do it. Like all animals, they take the course of least resistance and feed on the easiest prey. And don't think they are not smart. They know who their enemies are and try to avoid them. Unfortunately, there is little defense against a 30-30 Winchester rifle in the hands of a sneaking ambusher.

Just like to make one other point. National Forests are government land just as are National Parks. Many, many thousands of acres of government land are leased to self-serving ranchers for a small fraction of what it should cost. Many of them are making out like bandits which, to my way of thinking, is exactly what they are.

TRUE LOVE WAITS

What is wrong with recreational sex?

A question not hard to answer when you consider consequences such as, unwanted pregnancies, and sexually transmitted diseases. But there is deeper, much deeper harm. It is abuse of one of mankind’s greatest gifts.

Sex is meant as an attraction to bring lovers together for the purpose of procreation. Bring lovers together -- the key word here is LOVERS. That is not a person you commit a sex act with as the term is so often used. A lover is someone you are fond of, like to be with, share hopes, dreams and desires, and are totally devoted to -- excluding all others.

Before any couple considers having sex they should already be in love. In love enough to commit to eternal marriage. There are far too many little children being born to single mothers as a result of recreational sex. Growing up in today’s crowded world with all the peer pressure youngsters encounter is hard enough to overcome without adding to their woes by having only one nurturing adult in the home. When children mature in an environment of paternal love and devotion they are better equipped to function in society. It has always been that way and it always will be.

Regardless of how great the joy of climax may seem while high on alcohol, crack cocaine, or marijuana, the risk outweighs it a hundred to one. I guarantee, an orgasm with a partner you truly love and are devoted to spend forever with is ecstasy unequaled. Sexual gratification is a precious gift. Don’t waste it foolishly.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." --Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Woohoo! I am OFFICIALLY a LOSER!

I finally got a link on FRNAK's blog! REALLY! Under the listing of Main Losers. With a whole bunch of other folks. At least I was not the BIGGEST* LOSER!

*At barely over 200 lbs. I am likely way under the weight some of the BIG DOGS carry!

Check this out!

Some guy claiming to be me answered a bunch of questions for Paul [Sanity's Edge]. Now if I had of been asking the questions . . .

One more inaniac™ ***ific™ message:

Stephen King material, also found on FARK!

A little cheese, please?

As Glenn would say, HEH! Gary Coleman for Governor? Is it for real? you decide. This recall thing is getting stranger and stranger all the time. My vote still goes to Georgy. She's HOT!*

Attribution: FARK, 'cause when they ain't bloggin' go farkin'™

*It is California, isn't it? Image, beauty that is all you need to make it there. Georgy seems to have the beauty part down well enough.

Standard Station Announcement

Tonight's episode of Rusty Rucker will be cancelled due to a severe case of blogarrhea* infecting an important member of our staff. Hopefully, such condition will improve and tonight's episode will be shown tomorrow.

*However, I do think the mushrooms are wearing off and he should soon have completed his vision quest.

Channelling: something from somewhere

You know, I was just thinking about something. Why is it, to me, there is almost a perfect line between what is right and wrong or what makes sense and what doesn't, and yet so few others can see these lines?

There is a purpose, cause, intent, or desire involved with every human activity. No one does anything solely for the purpose of doing it. Period. Well, maybe dumping a load doesn't fit, but you get the drift. Any situation can be divided down to essential elements similar to molecular structure and analyzed, act by act, and the purpose, cause, intent, or desire is usually disclosed. Facts are facts and fiction is fiction. Facts are what you know. Fiction is what they tell you.

Is it so very hard to read between the lines, to look under the carpet and find the hidden messages behind the media and from the government? The driving force behind anything is power and money. Period. There has never been a war yet that didn't make money for someone or provide someone with greater power. You should not fear the leaders, but the ones behind the leaders. Truth is relevant to perception. This is something I know. It is a fact. You see and hear what you want to see and hear. And way too many of us are seeing this artfully crafted picture of a world that does not exist. Decry if you want the conditions of people in Iraq, but then think too how much less freedom you have than those who founded this country.

Power and money built America, but it built it upon the backs of Americans. We could show the world that democracy can really work. I propose a groundswell of people to clamor for a new constitutional convention, and let us Americans decide some of the issues that seem to be so wrong with the constitution we have now. At least it has been interpreted over 200 years by power and money influenced jurisprudence. Why not use this grand invention of the Internet to its true purpose: a true and rational discussion of what kind of country we really want America to be and what we are wanting to give up in exchange. As it sits now, we slowly give up our freedoms, and continually get less in return.

Where did that come from? Does it make any sense?

Of absolutely no interest to anyone

I just topped 250 on daily visitation for the first time. Rah! See my movie, it is hilarious. Frnak is a prick.<<<I didn't say that, really. Mwahahahahahaaha!

Of little real interest to many

Just for those of you who are following the Alien Attitudes™ development process: Chapter One is completed. If you took the time to look over the Prologue and want to see where it goes next, email me about it.

My blogchild has been possessed

Cherry adopts a style more closely akin to Glenn than to mine. Just wait until she shortens one to HEH!

And for your movie entertainment:

I think ya'll are really gonna like this one. Behind the Behind. I don't claim to be the funniest guy in the Blogosphere,* for nothing.

Watch for an upcoming episode of Rusty Rucker coming up after the 10:00 News!

*Or was that the funniest looking guy in the Blogosphere.

If wishes were movies . . .

I always rememeber when I was little and I would say, "I wish . . . " almost immediately my dad would say, "If wishes were horses, all men could ride." I am almost sure he didn't write that, but I don't remember the real source. It is just one of those things I think of anytime I am wishing for something. So, for what am I wishing? Oh, movies, I guess.

I started collecting movies about 3 or 4 years ago, because I wanted to remain as a participating consumer in the marketplace. Oh, of course, I buy food and paper goods, the three-pack of new underwear if I get too lazy to do some laundry for several weeks, but I seldom buy anything of any other nature. I have more clothes that I can possibly wear. I don't need anything, really. I have so much stuff already that I really don't know what to do with most of it. What I didn't have were movies. So, I decided to collect movies.

So, if you are actually collecting, does there not have to be some purpose to the collection? My aunt, the one that sends me stuff*, collects movies, too, but she is collecting all of John Wayne's movies. I wanted to go a different way. I actually have four collections: cult movies, sci-fi/superheroes, National Park documentaries, and my Best Picture collection.

I limit the first two categories to movies I like, mostly, and the National Park collection has at least one movie from every NP I have visited, except Crater Lake, because the gift shop closed just as I pulled up to the front door. I mean, it was not like I needed to do much but drive to an overlook and look at the lake. It is mostly a forest, the forest I had been driving through most of the afternoon. I was lucky to get there before the sun had set. But I digress, because this post is really about my quest to complete My Best Picture Collection:

Best Picture Collection: Red=I don't have or are not on order; V=VHS; D=DVD

[ ] 2003 Chicago (2002)
[V] 2002 Beautiful Mind, A (2001)
[V] 2001 Gladiator (2000)
[V] 2000 American Beauty (1999)
[V] 1999 Shakespeare in Love (1998)
[V] 1998 Titanic (1997)
[V] 1997 English Patient, The (1996)
[V] 1996 Braveheart (1995)
[V] 1995 Forrest Gump (1994)
[V] 1994 Schindler's List (1993)
[V] 1993 Unforgiven (1992)
[V] 1992 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
[V] 1991 Dances with Wolves (1990)
[V] 1990 Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
[V] 1989 Rain Man (1988)
[V] 1988 Last Emperor, The (1987)
[V] 1987 Platoon (1986)
[V] 1986 Out of Africa (1985)
[V] 1985 Amadeus (1984)
[V] 1984 Terms of Endearment (1983)
[ ] 1983 Gandhi (1982)
[V] 1982 Chariots of Fire (1981)
[V] 1981 Ordinary People (1980)
[ ] 1980 Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) *ON ORDER*
[V] 1979 Deer Hunter, The (1978)
[V] 1978 Annie Hall (1977)
[V] 1977 Rocky (1976)
[ ] 1976 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
[V] 1975 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
[V] 1974 Sting, The (1973)
[V] 1973 Godfather, The (1972)
[ ] 1972 French Connection, The (1971)
[V] 1971 Patton (1970)
[V] 1970 Midnight Cowboy (1969)
[ ] 1969 Oliver! (1968)
[ ] 1968 In the Heat of the Night (1967)
[V] 1967 Man for All Seasons, A (1966)
[D] 1966 Sound of Music, The (1965)
[V] 1965 My Fair Lady (1964)
[ ] 1964 Tom Jones (1963)
[V] 1963 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
[V] 1962 West Side Story (1961)
[V] 1961 Apartment, The (1960)
[V] 1960 Ben-Hur (1959)
[V] 1959 Gigi (1958)
[V] 1958 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
[V] 1957 Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)
[V] 1956 Marty (1955)
[ ] 1955 On the Waterfront (1954)
[V] 1954 From Here to Eternity (1953)
[ ] 1953 Greatest Show on Earth, The (1952)
[V] 1952 American in Paris, An (1951)
[V] 1951 All About Eve (1950)
[V] 1950 All the King's Men (1949)
[V] 1949 Hamlet (1948)
[ ] 1948 Gentleman's Agreement (1947)
[ ] 1947 Best Years of Our Lives, The (1946)
[ ] 1946 Lost Weekend, The (1945)
[ ] 1945 Going My Way (1944) *ON ORDER*
[V] 1944 Casablanca (1942)
[V] 1943 Mrs. Miniver (1942)
[ ] 1942 How Green Was My Valley (1941)
[V] 1941 Rebecca (1940)
[V] 1940 Gone with the Wind (1939)
[V] 1939 You Can't Take It with You (1938)
[V] 1938 Life of Emile Zola, The (1937)
[V] 1937 Great Ziegfeld, The (1936)
[V] 1936 Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)
[V] 1935 It Happened One Night (1934)
[V] 1934 Cavalcade (1933)
[V] 1932 Grand Hotel (1932)
[V] 1931 Cimarron (1931)
[V] 1930 all Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
[V] 1930 Broadway Melody, The (1929)
[V] 1929 Wings (1927)

*I only have that one aunt, but she is the one who sends me the periodic email barrages.

Save it for the hockey game!

michele*, of a small victory, who has not reached the level of recognizing a Tigerific compliment when she sees one, is very upset over how Justin Timberlake was treated by fans in Toronto at a recent benefit concert. I read this and was appalled! This occurred in Toronto, that friendly cosmopolitan city in our northern neighbor, Canada? I might have expected such vile and crude behavior had this activity occurred in the FrogLite™ filled province to their east: Quebec. For shame! Now, I only have one question about all of this? Who is Justin Timberlake?

*Of course, the name michele brings me to mind what little I really know of the French language, as it is limited to that part I learned in that Beatle song: "Michele, my belle, someday monkey gonna play piano too."

Please, could I just speak to a human?

I have this cell phone. I have had this cell phone for longer than I wanted it. I got this cell phone when I left the firm I was in the Dallas area and relocated to this small town. The account was established in the name of that firm and they agreed to pay for the phone service for a year following my cessation of employment so that they would have means to contact me should there be any information they needed about some of the cases I had worked on while I was at that firm. Of course, they didn't pay for it, and started forwarding the bills to me to pay. I did so, as I was using the phone quite extensively at the time. However, things do change over time, and for almost a year, I have had no use for that cell phone. The number is long distance from this area. I have attempted to get the service disconnected. It is not in my name, so they cannot disconnect it on my request. I called the old firm. Asked them to call and disconnect it. They say they will, but they don't. I continue to get bills of $60 a month for a phone that I do not even use.

A couple of months ago, I got fed up. I can't get it disconnected, so I just won't pay the bills any longer and sooner or later they will have to disconnect the service. The disconnection will not be any sweat off of my nose, because the account is not in my name. Well, a couple of days ago, someone from the company called my office and left a message. I sicced my secretary on them, and she tried to explain the situation, and she got the same old' same old' routine. Only the old firm is authorized to disconnect the phone. Fine. I still am not paying, let them pay. I bet they start getting the bills for a phone they are not using, they will get the phone disconnected.

Today, I got a computer call from that company. Folks, this is my business line. I do not need my business line tied up with this inane bullshit. I called the number the computer left and finally got someone named Ruben. I said, "hey Ruben, put whoever is the highest person willing to talk to me on the line," then I got put on hold for longer than I was willing to wait. I hung up.

OK, I will search the internet and send them a nasty letter. Nope, can't do that. The only contact information is a phone number, and another menu and another wait, and then, when I finally thought I might be able to get back to Ruben or one of his other peon contemporaries at the front line of the customer service desk, I get a message: "This number is no longer in service, please call 1-800-yada-yada!" Fuck You Cingular!* [Please pardon my FRENCH] I am no longer paying for a service that I have no right to disconnect. It just ain't happening. Sue me, if you think you have a cause of action. I am quite sure you don't. And take my name off of your damn computer call list, because I will be in contact with the proper authorities about that if I get another of those calls.

*Watch, I will now be #1 on a Google search for fuck you cingular, and as my luck would have it, I likely will be #1 if they just do a search for fuck you.

not quite the shores of Tripoli

Steven questions whether sending in a total of seven Marines, or even twenty, actually justifies a blazoning headline proclaiming US Troops in Liberia. I tend to agree, but then I wonder, are't seven Marines enough to secure peace in Liberia? Surely they wouldn't face the kind of battles that occur in, say, San Diego?

So now you know!!!!

According to John Cole, thumbs up means thumbs up, even in Iraq, so any looney leftie, mindless Moonie, or other nut case trying to tell you otherwise is without a clue. Got it? End of story! You heard it here! Buy it and put it up on your mantle for the world to see. *** out!

I invoke the 5th, or is it Happy Hour yet?

OK, third time is a charm and Rocket Jones* gets blogrolled. Anyone who posts the Rules to Enter Texas deserves a link. However, Ted, what did you say about me to get the Feds reading my blog. I see someone from "Domain Name state.gov (United States Government)" listed as a visitor to my site that shows to have been referred from your blog. What's up with that?

[UPDATE: I see I have subsequently gotten visits from ssa.gov, usda.gov, and fcc.gov. Where in the heck is my tin foil? I am hearing those black helicopters hovering overhead again.]

*I tend to avoid blogrolling sites hosted on blog*splat as they have a historical tendency to relocate at a later point.

At least he didn't mention Cheetah

This was in my email from my good friend and fellow member of the notClark County Bar Association, Matt Cummings:

US immigration judge suspended over Tarzan comment

An immigration judge in the US has been placed on leave after complaints that he made jokes about Tarzan to a woman who'd been raped and tortured in her native Uganda.

The woman, whose first name is Jane, went before Judge Thomas Ragno in June, seeking political asylum in the United States because her husband was killed and she was beaten, raped and tortured in her homeland.

"Jane, come here. Me Tarzan!" Judge Ragno said, according to the woman's physician, Dr Sondra Crosby, who attended the June 20 deportation hearing to testify about the woman's injuries.

"It was disrespectful and insulting, and in my mind it was racist to have a white judge making Tarzan comments to a black woman," Dr Crosby said.

Dr Crosby filed an affidavit protesting at Judge Ragno's behaviour as part of the woman's appeal of the judge's rejection of her bid for asylum.

After learning of the complaint, the Executive Office for Immigration Review, a division of the US Department of Justice, placed Judge Ragno on paid leave pending an investigation.

During the court session, Judge Ragno also listened to a weather forecast on his speaker phone and discussed his search for a new apartment, Dr Crosby said.

© Associated Press

Story filed: 13:55 Tuesday 5th August 2003

*Lefties? Bleeding heart liberals? Right wing extremists? Even kids with chicken pox? Who are these people that continually place blame other than where it should be: on the stupid individuals who continually do stupid stuff?

The opening laugh

I always hear them talking about the opening bell on Wall Street, and when I read this post from michele and chuckled to myself over her brilliant use of inanity in her analysis of the situation, I wondered if there is such a thing as an opening laugh in Blogdom. If so, I think this was it.

Is that a suggestion?

The Carnival of the Vanities is up at Across the Atlantic. As usual, my submission is nearer to the bottom of the barrel than the top. And, what is the deal, Lionel? Are you suggesting I change the name of my blog? Oh, well, get used to that name, because that is the pen name I will be publishing my book under, if I ever get the damn thing finished and find someone who will publish it.

In other news, the Ecosystem is still fragged. Although I am still a geek/0™, I might have a clue for NZB. I think some squirrels have gotten into the mix. See, instead of links, I find this:

Warning: mysql_num_rows(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/nzbear/public_html/showdetails.php on line 350

Episode No. 19

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with some of it.

March, 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Sorry I am a bit late this time. Had a much needed medical procedure that took me out of action for a few days.[*]

In the month of February we lost two great men. Charles Schultz who entertained children all over the world for many years with Peanuts and Snoopy. And Tom Landry who personified what a gentleman is supposed to be. One of the greatest coaches of all time, he was a Christian, a leader, and a friend to all who knew him.

It’s no accident that the Dallas Cowboys became known as America’s team. They have always been good on the field, but under Landry they were good off the field, too. I remember when “Hollywood” Henderson was fired for using cocaine during a game, Lance Rentzel lost his job for flashing, and Clint Longley learned that Tom wouldn’t allow fighting between quarterbacks.
Henderson was a great linebacker, Lance a talented wide receiver and Longley, a promising young quarterback.

Tom was always straight faced because he took his job seriously. He wore a hat, coat, and tie to every game. Contributed generously to charity and encouraged his players to walk on the side of right and honor. A gentleman with class who earned the respect he deserved.Food for thought and nice to hear.

TRIBUTE TO THE UNITED STATES

This, from a Canadian newspaper, is worth sharing.

America: The Good Neighbor.

Widespread but only partial news coverage was given recently to a remarkable editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon Sinclair, a Canadian television commentator. What follows is the full text of his trenchant remarks as printed in the Congressional Record:

"This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least appreciated people on all the earth. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of these countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.

When the franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped.

The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering Americans.

I'd like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplane. Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tri-Star, or the Douglas DC10? If so, why don't they fly them?

Why do all the International lines except Russia fly American Planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy, and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy, and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy, and you find men on the moon - not once, but several times - and safely home again.

You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to look at . Even their draft-dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa at home to spend here.

When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke.

I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.

Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of those."

Stand proud, America!

This is one of the best editorials that I have ever read regarding the United States. It is nice that one man realizes it. I only wish that the rest of the world would give it some thought. We are blamed for everything that goes wrong, and never even get a thank you for what we do.

I hope that each reader will send this to as many people as possible and emphasize that they should send it to as many of their friends until this letter is sent to every person on the web. I am just a single American that has read this, I SURE HOPE THAT A LOT MORE READ IT SOON.

Wit and Wisdom

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Tell the truth and you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

If you try hard enough and long enough, nothing is impossible.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"There was never a nation great until it came to the knowledge that it had nowhere in the world to go for help."
--Charles Dudley Warner

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

*What was that? Angioplasty, I think.

Breaking News?

I just had someone tell me that the Jack Daniels distillery was on fire. I am researching the story right now. I will update as soon as I find out anything else.

[UPDATE: It looks like everything is all right in Lynchburg. It was the Jim Beam Warehouse. [full story]

However, in other news, in Florida, it seems that when you called the number listed for Verizon Customer Assistance, you were in for a special treat. How come I think Frnak may have been involved in this?

attribution for this one: FARK

Inanities from the third dimension

It seems that when someone does a search on Google for best blog, yours truly comes up as the third in the list of returns. I am not sure that means I am the third best blog or that I am still the King of Google searches. Of course, when you do a search on Yahoo for terrorists pictures, I come in #4 with this entry.

News at 11:00 - Frank J of IMAO and Glenn Reynolds of InstaPundit have finally seen the light and have felt utterly compelled to blogroll ***: Raggin' & Rantin'.*

I was completely flabbergasted that no one remarked about the ingenuity regarding the title to this post, or that there have been so few comments made about this post. I may just have a higher opinion about my attempts at humor than others. Is it possible that some people just do not find my stuff as funny as I think it is?

I did, however, finally win something in connection with my efforts on this blog. It seems that the new Bonfire of the Vanities is up over on Wizbang!, and this post was selected as "Bonfire winner!" Now, I am not actually sure, but I think that equates to such being the crappiest post of the week.

George, can you believe it, there are actually people who are competing about who gets the worse SPAM? The higher the number the worse the SPAM is supposed to be. James said:

You'll never catch a blogger wasting time worrying about meaningless numbers.

*Then Tiger awoke from his daydream and returned to reality.

**Hey, so what if I made this all up. I had to get platypus on the page someplace, as putting the word platypus in a post ensures hilarity every time.

I need my signs of public affirmation!

It does seem that the Blogosphere Ecosystem is fragged again. I am not sure how I will make it through the day without knowing how many linked to me over the night and how far up the ladder I climbed since yesterday. I have an essential need to know that information. It is sick, I know. It is not like I have not already been accused of being a sick individual on many occasions. It is not a badge I wear proudly, but not one from which I shirk, either.

Damn you DFILM! The ongoing DFILM frenzy continues

Well, it seems that Pixy has created a new masterpiece, Blograker in which yours truly makes a cameo appearance, and in which Kevin gets abducted by aliens, is cloned and ends up talking to himself, literally. I think Pixy found DFILM from reading my site, so I am responsible. I have created a monster. I now know exactly how Dr. Frankenstein felt.

And then someone, whom I suppose should remain nameless, has given me the starring role in No Moonies for Oil.* Hmmmm, maybe DFILM is not really all that bad after all.

However, if ya'll don't stop this inanity soon, you are going to make me engage my FLASH software and create something my way, and then I will have to upload it and display it here and there goes all my spare blogging time and storage space.

[UPDATE: And yet it continues: Frnak gets ugly when he is angry in this one.]

[UPDATE DITTO: And now Jennifer is doing it and doing it again.]

[UPDATE DITTO DITTO: OK, everywhere I go, people are making those stupid movies, so I decided to make one. I actually did work for a couple of hours doing one from scratch in FLASH, but it takes days and days to do it right.]

*I wonder from whence the idea for this movie came?

Have they gone a bit overboard with DFILM?

Oh my George! It seems this fiasco about not getting a link on Frank's site has gotten a couple of the losers involved in a nasty homicide.

attribution Susie, but then it is her movie! Damn you DFILM!

Episode No. 18

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Another bonus: I had to do that link whatchamacallit to get one that I originally could not access, and found a graphic representation that Rusty displayed on his page. Although I did not disclose such previously, the Behind the Chicken Shack logo and this graphic are creations of mine from about the same period as the columns.

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with some of it.

February, 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Let's all think about LOVE.

Call me old-fashioned -- for that is what I am.

I believe in love. True love. Enduring love. Everlasting love. It is something we should all experience. Not making out in the back seat or behind dunes at the beach. If a guy and girl like each other, they have to respect the other's feelings and desires. A boy may have several girlfriends and like all of them. Same with girls and boyfriends. But, if they are not compatible they will drift apart, or at least they should. Never become so enamored with sexual affairs that you believe it is love. When two people are truly in love, they will naturally have sex, but just because they enjoy each other in bed doesn’t mean they are in love. If you think you are in love -- YOU ARE NOT. When you really fall in love YOU WILL KNOW.

There is a world of difference between trying to make it work and being in love. Of course, it is entirely possible to be in love and not be completely compatible. That is the reason for engagements -- the longer the better. After being promised to each other is soon enough to have sex. Safe sex. Compatibility in this area is important, but it should never be the deciding factor for marriage. This is the time to put all your effort into resolving whatever problems have arisen. Two people who are truly in love will always find a way to settle their differences.

A good test of love is; Are you ever ashamed of the person you're with? If a guy can't feel proud of his date and want to show her off, she doesn't belong with him. And it’s the same in reverse.

Another thing; Don't be Jealous A great relationship is built on mutual trust. If you have to worry about someone stealing your date, he/she was never yours from the start.

Treat her with respect. If she is willing to go out with you, make her proud of the choice. Stick up for her and protect her, even if it means putting yourself in jeopardy.

Girls, there are plenty of guys like this out there. You deserve one, so don’t settle for anything less.

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:

- 29 have been accused of spousal abuse.
- 7 have been arrested for fraud.
- 19 have been accused of passing bad checks.
-117 have bankrupted at least two businesses.
- 3 have been arrested for assault.
- 71 cannot get credit or loans due to bad credit histories.
- 14 have been arrested on drug related charges.
- 8 have been arrested for shoplifting.
- 21 are current defendants on various lawsuits.
- In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving.

Can you guess what organization this is?

Give up?

It is the 535 members of the U.S. Congress that work for you and me. The same group that cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of laws designed to keep the rest of us in line. -- Paul Harvey news

Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too
I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin
When he smiled I realized
I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile
then I realized its worth,
A single smile, just like mine,
could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!
--Author unknown

I invite you to copy this
And pass it on to a friend.
Everyone needs a smile!
NOW IS THE TIME TO BEGIN.
--Rusty

"Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."
--Mahatma Gandhi

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

I made a moonie cry

It seems someone who linked from this site [Jargonese] likes my site a lot. According to Site Meter, they have now spent 137 minute 14 seconds and viewed 19 pages on this blog. I might have another fan! I am blogrolled on that other site, so I repaid the favor and found this interesting post on Scientology. I hope Chris does a less emulation of the grand style of InstaPundit, however. I will have to visit again. However, all of this brought to mind a strange incident that occurred when I was in college:

Now, I did a four year stint in the Army before I started college, so I never went that dormitory route. I had my own apartment. I was sitting there, most likely watching TV instead of studying, when I heard a knock on the door. Of course, expecting some beautiful lady who wanted to make passionate love to me,* I was somewhat surprised to see this round faced young man standing there. "Hi, I am a disciple of the Rev. Moon. May I have a moment of your time?" Cool, I think, knowing probably that there are not going to be any lonely horny women come around today anyway. It is a lovely day and they are all probably down by the pool.

I opened the door wide and said, "Won't you come on in? Would you like something to drink, I have some orange juice."

I think he was somewhat surprised at my actions, and stated that he would like a glass of orange juice. Now remember, this is summer, and in Texas, and in Texas in the summer, it gets hot. It is quite possible that was the summer of 1980, when we had like what 100 straight days of 100+ weather? It had only been decent to offer him something to drink. I returned to find him sitting and handed him the juice.

As he took it, I said, "Now I don't know what you are wanting here, but I am not really all that interested in joining up with the Communists or giving any money to the Communists."

"But, but, he stammered, we are not Communists."

"Oh really, I think you are Communists. Tell me this, if you collect money, does it not all, every bit, go to the church?"

"Yes."

"And does not the church provide you with everything you need?"

"Yes."

"Then that's it, you are all Communists."

He actually began to cry. I had pity on him and let him finish his orange juice before I led him back to the door, crestfallen. I felt a little bad for being so rough on him. I really surprises me how people can just fall into line behind any old claptrap in the name of religion.

*All young twenty-something young men have such fantasies, don't they?

Pink banana in the perfect pocket

Yeah, I think about it from time to time.*

*That's OK, I didn't expect you to get it. I'm not getting it either. ;)

One is the loneliest hombre

Can you believe Dave would pour out all the petty details about his mundane life on the pages of his blog? You wouldn't ever catch me doing anything remotely close to that on my blog, would you?

Nanner, nanner

Oh wow, when someone says something is "so funny you may herniate yourself", see if I don't bite on that bait. I didn't, however, herniate myself,* but it is funny.

*Thank George.**

**The purpose of that statement is that I have decided not to invoke the name of The Divine without purpose, if possible.***

***So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Bowing down to the MASTER!

I may knock the high and mighty Glenn Reynolds, undisputed heavy traffic champion of the Blogosphere, but one also has to admire his sources. Thanks to Glenn, we can all be privy to this story.* The ramifications of this situation are enormous.

*At the time of this publication, the link to the originating story was inactive. I guess they did not expect an Instalanche, huh? I, therefore, cannot validate the accuracy of Glenn's quotation, but have no reason to question such validity.**

**Don't ya just love the way attorneys always are working to cover their asses on things?

So what if Frnak is a prick?*

Tiger is the featured bite on Electric Venom! Now ain't that a little ray of sunshine on an otherwise fairly bleak day?

[UPDATE: Bill has a bit of hilarious Frnak bashing over on his site. You go read that while I go check out some good photos of 'Sweet Alice' before something wicked this way comes.]

>>IN COMPLETELY OTHER NEWS: This is a cool looking blog, and I hereby announce the blogrolling of Biting Nails, and I thought this was a most excellent post.<<

*Daddy, what is a prick? Well, sweetie, it is that little stick in your finger you feel when you try to pluck a rose and catch one of the thorns.**

**Don't mind me, I was just explaining something to my imaginary child.

And for your reading enjoyment -

I was just mentioning to one of the other business owners here in town about how it was likely just a bit cooler in Hell than it is on a hot Texas summer afternoon, when he pulls out this old postcard from yesteryear, that Rusty would have really liked, with the following on it:

[UPDATE: It seems that Pixy is a far better researcher than I. See note reagrding his find in the extended entry]

*This author was not identified on the postcard, and I was unable to determine such through a cursory search on the Internet.**

**Pixy did a search and attributes the authorhip to one E. U. Cook.

My life: The dream vs. the loneliness

I sit around often and just reflect upon my life. I often come to the conclusion that my life is less than worthwhile and that it is completely without a point. I have held this opinion for several years. I know there are many who would see me and wonder why or how I could feel this way. I am a moderately successful person who has more than my share of material items, a trustworthy car, a nice pace to live, and I seem to eat well. So, some might wonder what my problem is.

I guess the biggest part of my problem is that I am lonely. I hate not having anyone awaiting me when I come home, to have someone with which to share experiences, and that feeling that there is someone who really cares about me. I had that once, and it was marvelous. That dream that I had for my life when I graduated High School was firmly on track and proceeding. Then, all of a sudden, that all came to a screeching halt. That happens when your young wife suddenly develops a life-ending disease.

Of course, I do not have to be lonely. It is not like someone does not come into my life on occasion who seems inclined to be my companion, but there is still that unfulfilled dream to consider, that dream than came to a screeching halt on August 3, 1994 when my wife died, childless. That was the day I lost my focus on who I was, where I was going, and what I was supposed to be.

The children were a big part of my dream. I wanted to have a good job, a loving wife and a child or two to carry my genes into the future. Children are our immortality, for, through them, a part of you continues on and on, for as long as your blood line continues. My bloodline is coming to an end with me, it seems, as I have not been able to find a suitable mate to produce those prospective leaders of the future. I am failing in my life's purpose.

Sometimes I think Give up on your dream and find happiness with someone with whom you enjoy being, then other times I think Don't settle for someone who cannot and/or will not assist you in fulfilling your dream. Then there are the really dark difficult hours when I think Just give it all up. There are those times when my life really wears heavy on me, and those are the times it is really hard to be alone.

Make mine Strawberry please!

If you were cruising through your blogroll yesterday, you probably hit on a small victory and saw, and maybe even took part in, the selection of the horrible movie Batman and Robin to receive the coveted Kazaam Award for Dubious Distinction in Bad Movie Making. There was much, much, much discussion on which movie should receive this highly sought after award.

One of the movies discussed to be in contention for this award was Vanilla Sky. As luck would take it, such was one of the movies I had rented this weekend, and I had yet to watch it. As such, I was expecting to be wasting my time when I put the movie in the DVD player and pushed the play movie button.

Hey, folks, I don't know who thought this was a bad movie. It was great! I admit that having seen it stated that it was all a dream prepared me. I therefore did view the scenes as something other than reality. However, had I not gotten the clue, I think I would still have liked this movie. Seldom do I sit unmoving, my attention rapt on the screen, so engrossed in a movie as I did with this one. It was bizarre, unique and spellbinding. This from a guy that thinks Tom Cruise is a putz who couldn't act his way out of a Prince Albert can. Of course, playing a rich, successful, but not all that bright, guy, who has women fawning all over him, probably was not that much of an actual stretch for him. He did look much better with that prosthetic that he does in real life. That did ease my pain in being forced to view his ugly mug for a big portion of the movie.

Sorry folks, this is not a bad movie, and Tiger tells you to rent this one, if you have not already seen it. Light some candles, pour a glass of wine, relax, and let it fill your senses. It is poetic, in a manner, and, with the likes of my love*, Cameron Diaz, and the addition of Spanish beauty, Penélope Cruz, [yum!] there is enough eye candy in this one to enchant even the guy who sits there with one hand tucked in his pants.** 3.5 paws up on this one. Tiger says see it!

*emode matched us up when I took some test they had regarding who is your celebrity match.

**Well, maybe not, because there are not any monster trucks or people smashing beer cans on their heads in this one.

Oh No! NOT AGAIN!

Sheesh, I woke up this morning and discovered it was MONDAY. I hate MONDAYS!* I spent more than an hour attempting to rinse the unconsciousness from my brain: one hour of prowling around the house, shuffling zombielike looking for this and that, and mostly trying to determine what it was that I was looking for when I eventually arrived at the point I had gone to look for it: whatever it was. Am I the only person who wakes up Monday morning with a hangover who didn't party all weekend? I didn't party at all.

On second thought, maybe it isn't a hangover. Maybe it is an alergy. Yes, that's it ... I have an alergy: I am alergic to work. I wonder what kind of drugs they have for that?

*I wonder how high I would hit on a Google search for I hate Mondays? Maybe I need to begin typing that as I hate Mondays™.

Episode No. 17

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with some of it.

January, 2000 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

2000 -- A brand New Year -- New Century -- New Millennium.

Time for some new beginnings -- some serious resolutions. If y’all can’t think of any for yourselves, how ‘bout resolve to uphold the Ten Commandments. It would be wonderful if all the people in the World did that. If that is too much to ask, then settle for The Golden Rule. Most of us could benefit there, too.

I read where the Ancient Incas predicted that “The world will come to an end on December 23, 2012". I doubt they ever dreamed of atomic bombs, laser guns, deadly viruses, or poison gases. We will all have to put forth our best effort to make it last that long.

The place to start is population control. The whole world needs to practice Zero births for at least a decade. Of course, there is no way it will happen. Sex is all the entertainment some disadvantaged countries have. Life is of little value to them.

There are folks having babies for lots of wrong reasons. To get extra welfare money -- to increase numbers of their race -- to prove virility and numerous others.

Someone will mention a particularly memorable event from the past and another will say, “Ah! Those were the Good Old Days”. What could possibly be so good about times before Television, Airplanes, penicillin, Major league ball, Skyscrapers, organ transplants and all the other wonders of our modern world?
Well now, let’s just see. How about being able to walk alone at night without fear. Never locking your doors. Food grown by your own hands with no artificial coloring or preservatives. No labels on cans and boxes telling how many vitamins or how much saturated fat was contained.

Never even heard of nuclear war. There weren't no terrorist neither. Oh, maybe a bank robbery now and then but we had so little money, it was not a very profitable line of work.

Heck we knew what was good for us. Pinto beans, cornbread, turnup greens, fresh oven roasted corn on the cob, sorghum molasses, and lots of hard work.
We didn’t belong to the gym -- don't s'pose there wuz any. Didn’t cost a nickel to slop the hogs, milk the cows, churn the butter, hoe the crops and bring in the harvest.

I challenge the people making all that expensive exercise equipment to come up with something that will develop a body like choppin' wood or hauling hay from the fields and tossing seventy pound bales over your head through an opening in the barn loft. And saunas -- shucks, try being the one in that hot barn dragging and stacking those bales.

No! We didn't have no super sonic jet liners or bullet trains. Nor did we have those exotic diseases and viruses brought in from all over the world on them.
I remember Pa telling about courting my Ma in a one horse buggy. They could stay out ‘til 8:30 or 9:00 on week nights and maybe as late as 10 o'clock on Saturday. No recreational sex before marriage in those days. A boy that did his girl wrong had to answer to her Daddy and maybe half a dozen hard-fisted brothers.

The "good Old Days" kept boys in the field from sun-up to sun-down where they developed into strong men with dreams of a wife and kids and a farm of their own. No thought of street gangs, drugs, rape, shooting up schools or burning churches. It was those boys around the start of the twentieth century and their off spring that defended America through two world wars and built it into the great nation it is today. Let us see what the youth of today does to top that in the NEXT HUNDRED YEARS.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger."
--Frank Lloyd Wright

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

Beam me up Scotty, I want out of here!

As my connection has been what I call a dead connection* for most of the day, my blogging has been lighter than usual. I apologize. For some reason, not being able to post has frazzled me beyond redemption. I am thinking of just calling it a day. Maybe I will dream up something really exciting for tomorrow.**

*dead connection: dialer shows I am connected but there is absolutely nothing being transferred over the line. Regrettably, my dialer on this system has been fragged since day one,*** and I have to reboot usually to get it to disconnect so that I can attempt a new connection. Try doing this about a million times a day. You really get tired of hearing that damn Windows has loaded sound.

**I usually do!

***It probably serves me right for buying a computer at Wal-Mart.

Go down, turn around, then read!

Kelley has the new Cul-de-Sac up and ready for viewing over on Suburban Blight. Go visit! It is a hard job, gathering up, organizing, and posting all those links, and knowing how to tell everyone what to expect. So go pay your respects and thank her for the fine job she did.

New dinosaur species is identified*

It seems that a bunch of fossilized bones that were on a shelf in a South African university are those of a previously unknown species of a large dinosaur. [full story]

*I had neglected to check this email account for a couple of weeks, and this story is actually from July 10. However, I figured given the 215,000,000 years that the bones layed in the ground and the 20 years that they laid on the shelf gathering dust, you might forgive the week or two delay it took me in bringing this story to the light.

A couple of quickies

It seems that NZB has decided to blog a bit today and actually posted something of substance.

And this post gets my vote on the New Weblog Showcase for this week. Who couldn't want to visit a blog by identical twins separated by rival universities? Be sure to go vote for your favorite and give these new bloggers a bit of encouragement!

Good Morning, Sleepyhead!

I remember my mother sayng that to me almost every morning when I was a child. I am not a morning person. I hit the snooze button over and over and drag out of bed. It is usually just the pressing need to empty my bladder that forces me to finally climb out of bed. Staying up way too late blogging is surely not helping me want to get up in the morning either.

So, what is the first thing I do when I get up, other than what was mentioned previously? I check the blog: Who commented? Who linked any of my posts? How many visited while I slept? It is true! Then I go to TTLB's Ecosystem list to see where I rank, both in position by number of links and by daily visitation. I am pleased to see that I have again attained a position in the top 250 by number of links [Large Mammal] and have remained there for a new record of 4 days. I have also climbed into the top 200 blogs in daily visits. I profess that from the actual amount of time that I expend on this blog, I am quite pleased to see it has resulted in the development of some readership and popularity.

I still have a couple of problems which I think severely hamper my blogging success and hinder my climb higher in the evolutionary scheme of the greater Blogosphere. The first is, of course, my lack of any consistency in connectivity to the World Wide Web. The second is that the Blogroll system fails to ever show that my site has been updated.

I am unsure if I will ever get a better connection. Alternatives to dialup are few and cost prohibitive in this small town where I reside. Additionally, there are not any local ISPs so all connections from this area have to go through servers located in towns more than 20 miles away. The quality of lines going into and out of this town is piss poor to say the least. I am continually connected at rates of 31.2kps, 26.6kps, and, remarkably, was very pleased one day to get a 12.0kps connection that allowed me to access my email. I had connected time after time on that day to find that although I was connected, absolutely no data was being transmitted over the connection. Oh, how I hate dialup.

As to the blogroll problem, I have mentioned it time and again and have gotten all kinds of advice from my fellow bloggers regarding how to ping blogrolling. I have been successfully pinging blogrolling. I finally broke down yesterday and contacted blogrolling support and they replied with a message that they did not show the URL for my blog in their database. I responded with the URL from my preferences page to show them I had a blogroll and that my URL had been correctly emplaced thereon. I am hopeful there is a response to my response awaiting me when I finally check my hotmail following the publication of this post. I suspect my visitation numbers will escalate once that problem is solved.

There is also one other minor situation that displeases me. However, it is purely personal. I am too geek/0 when it comes to certain aspects of blog form and function. I would love to know more about css so that I could arrange this blog with a 3-column look and add a little pizzazz to my look! As it was, I finally had to just use table tags just to get that masthead to display correctly when adding my picture.

However, in the grand scheme of things, given that I had never even heard of blogging prior to April 1 of this year, I think I have come a long way into understanding the nature of the blogging world.

Something rotten in the Blogosphere

Well, it seems that Pixy Misa has found DFILM and has used such to create a series of movies regarding that evil overlord Frnak who has made everyone grovel in order to seek a link on his site.

Whereas, despite having a starring role in that series of movies, Susie has been working and working and working to create a graphic for those of us who survived that stupid blogroll survivor game and yet didn't get our damn links.

Please think kindly on me, Susie! Now that I know what you look like, I don't want you knocking me over the head with one of those long automatron arms. However, I love that hairdo, and next time you go for a Dr. Pepper, snag one for me, OK?

WooHoo! I am #1 again!

It seems I come up #1 on a Google search on the words beat digging. It does continually amaze me at some of the searches people do on Google and how often I am listed very high on the first page of returns.

Episode No. 16

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Editor's note: Upon opening the file with December, 1999's column, I noticed it was just a rerun of the Christmas poem from the December, 1998 column. As such, I saw no reason to republish such here. However, just on a lark, I clicked the link for the lost October, 1999 column and remarkably actually accessed that column. So, instead of the expected December, 1999 column, what follows is the previously skipped October, 1999 column. Additionally, as a bonus, I retrieved the title graphic for the Rusty Rucker column.

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

October, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Starting my 2nd. year with this issue. Thanks to all my loyal fans who drop in each month to read the latest scoop. I have tried to make this issue special, but will never know how you like it unless you write and tell me.

SUBJECT: Reno's Ramblings

I didn't actually hear this speech , but the information came from a reliable sourse.

Read this alarming statement from Janet Reno:

"A CULTIST is one who has a strong belief in the Bible and the Second Coming of Christ; who frequently attends Bible studies; who has a high level of financial giving to a Christian cause; who homeschools for their children; who has accumulated survival foods and has strong belief in the Second Amendment; and who distrusts big government. Any of these may qualify a person as a cultist but certainly more than one of these would cause us to look at this person as a threat and his family as being in a high risk situation that qualifies for government interference."

-- Janet Reno, Attny. General of the United States during an Interview on CBS "60 Minutes" on June 26, 1999.

Do YOU qualify as a cultist by Reno's definition? Are you (as defined by the US Attorney General) a threat to the U.S.?

This concerns me. Does it bother you?

Everyone in this country -- "the land of the free" -- with computer access should copy this and send a copy to every other man, woman and child who has the ability to read.

There is a heap of uproar lately regarding Police sales of confiscated firearms. This knowledge leads me to wonder -- WHAT ABOUT CONFISCATED DRUGS? You hear all the time about the Coast Guard, FBI, or some branch of Police making a raid whitch yields a huge amount of drugs -- OFTEN TONS. How many times have you heard or read when or where those drugs are being destroyed? Hummmmmm!

Statistics show that Americans work the first three hours of every day just to pay their taxes.

That must be why we can't get much done in the mornings -- we're government workers!

You remember, I mentioned a while back that the POPULATION BOMB has already gone off. This is evidenced by all the starving people around the world. Think I read someplace that two-thirds of the world populaion goes to bed hungry every night. I don't suppose that is an accurate statement, 'cause millions and millions have no bed to climb in. Now those of us that have the power to enforce birth control have failed to use it and seems like God (AKA Mother Nature) is steppin' in to help out. Is it my imagination, or are there lots more killer earthquakes lately than ever before in history? And what about killer diseases like HIV. Now they say the fastest spreading virus is hepatitis C and it is even a more deadly killer. I just lost a close family member [*] to cirrhosis of the liver, brought on by this dreaded disease. It, like HIV can be transmitted by sharing drug needles and having unprotected sex with an infected person, but the reason it is more deadly -- THE VIRUS CAN SURVIVE MUCH LONGER OUTSIDE THE BODY.

Our government keeps talking about sending more money to Columbia to help fight the drug lords that have taken control of that country. Seems to me like we could send the mone okay, but in the form of CARE packages. They could be delivered by Stealth fighters with CARE to drop them on the most needy. The processing plants. There is something wrong when government is willing to spend billions to fight someone else's war in Europe while doing next to nothing about this invasion that is destroying our nation and killing our young. I say, pass a law to make it an Act of War for any nation to export illegal drugs to the USA -- and if they can't inforce them, we should step in and help. This is the kind of foreign aid I can relate to.

Expect I done figured out why it is so dry here in Texas. There is only so much sunlight to draw water into the sky 'n when it all falls on North Carolina there just ain't none left for the rest of us. Either that, or the collection plate has been coming up short on Sundays.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Public confidence in the integrity of the Government is indispensable to faith in democracy; and when we lose faith in the system, we have lost faith in everything we fight and spend for.
--Adlai E. Stevenson

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

*That close family member was his wife, my mother, who had contracted Hepatitis C through blood given during a surgery almost a decade previously.

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

It seems that the elderly mother of one of SilverBlue's friends was injured in a car accident yesterday. It was not made apparent if such happened while she was trying to negotiate this intersection safely or not. She was treated for her injuries in the hospital. You can still pray for her safe recovery.

Splish splash, I am taking a bath

While I go sit in a nice hot tub and attempt to pull something inane and funny out of my foggy, cobwebbed brain for your entertainment,* let me direct you here for something very artistic to ... no not to see ... but to read. As usual, Denita has painted a wonderful pastorial picture with her words.

*It seems to be harder to blog when it slows down on the weekends in the Blogosphere. Often, it seems, my best ideas come right after I have read something interesting that someone has written. What is up with that?

How do I love thee?

Best line from a movie I watched today:

My daddy just died, I'm 33 years old, I'm dead broke, I got no job, no money, no prospects, 3 kids, and worst of all, I'm married to you.

ee catman slams his critics

OLDCATMAN proved his CAPLOCK key was not stuck and slammed all of his detractors. I even think I got a slam or two, but I think he still likes me. I still like reading his brain farts.

But it is SO HARD

I do hope you are sitting right in front of your computer eating your breakfast, because David has led me to a story about a subject that should be near and dear to you all. It is all about those pesky erections, not connected with sexual stimulation, that just won't go away. They even have a name for this condition: priapism, "named after Priapus, the Greek god of fertility."

And nope, it is not something with which you want to be afflicted. It is a severe medical condition that can lead to impotence. Of course, this would lead to increased sales of Viagra, which I understand can be purchased at slightly lowered prices through several sites that regularly send me unsolicited email.*

David did further research and found more information.

Yes, laugh, but guess what? It might not be a laughing matter:

H.A. was a medical professional who had read about the treatment of erectile dysfunction with penile injections. He injected himself with a dose that far exceeded what he needed. He developed a rock-hard penis and enjoyed it for several hours. Unfortunately, he developed priapism. He was so embarrassed by this that he actually went for seven days before seeking medical help. The pain was excruciating, and he tried numerous treatments that he had read about in outdated medical journals including ice water enemas and injecting local anesthetic into the penis. The resulting erection was unsalvageable, and the patient was eventually left with a penis that was less than an inch long. [full story]

Now wasn't that the most fascinating thing you have ever read over a bowl of Cheerios?

*It does really irk me that spammers continually assume that I need such product.

Episode No. 15

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Those of you keeping track will probably notice that Episode No. 14 was Septermber, 1999's column and this one is from November, 1999. I was unable to recover the one for October, 1999. It has gone the way of the dodo, it seems.

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

November, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Hope all you kids survived Halloween and didn’t get sick on the candy. Mostly I hope you read my Halloween poem. If you didn’t, go to my poetry page and check it out. It’s so good, even my dogs wag their tails when I read it to ‘em. I’ll leave it there through November -- or at least ‘til I think of a subject for Thanksgiving.

USA Today has conducted a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75% of the population.

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift
That's why it's called the 'Present'

Prayer in school continues to be a much cussed and discussed subject. Can not understand why. This little poem that someone sent me says it all

NOW I SIT ME DOWN IN SCHOOL

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of him very odd
If scripture now the class recites
It violates the Bill of Rights
Any time my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now
The law is specific the law is precise
Praying out loud is no longer nice

Praying aloud in a public hall
Upsets those who believe in nothing at all
In silence alone we can meditate
And if GOD should get the credit GREAT!
They are bringing guns to school,
They think being armed is really cool.
But I don’t dare bring my BIBLE
To do so might make me liable
So now OH LORD this plea I make
Should I be shot in school, my soul PLEASE TAKE.
--Author Unknown

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

"Old age is fifteen years older than I am."
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

[*]

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

*BIG BROTHER watches no more. Only you true Rusty Rucker fans will understand that.

The way of the Buffalo

When I was a kid, there was one thing with which* every West Texas boy was familiar. No, it wasn't the back end of sheep or nothing like that, so get your head out of that weird world of sexual fantasies, sicko! It was these little critters you could find almost anywhere you looked. We called 'em horny toads, but in Ft. Worth, they seem to think they were Horned Frogs, like anyone ever seen one of them jump. They would puff up and look real mean, and the story was that they spit blood out of their eyes. Heck, if they did, I handled enough of them you would have thought surely I would have observed that once, but nope, never did see any blood come shootin' out of a horny toad's eyes. I eventually grew up and I didn't think about horny toads much after I discovered just plain ol' horny.

That is until a few years ago, and then I began to think how I haven't seen a horny toad in awhile. I began to ask people if they had seen any horny toads, and every once in awhile, someone would mention they spotted one here or there.

I began to investigate. What happened to all of those millions of horny toads? Did a bunch of horny toad hunters kill them for their hides? There was not much hide to get, and I never saw anyone wearing a horny toad coat. No body ate them, as far as I knew. I don't even think coyotes eat horny toads, but they might. Them coyotes eat 'bout anything.

So then I began to wonder just why they had disappeared. Fire ants! I was almost sure it had something to do with fire ants. I asked this guy from A&M. Them Aggies is thought to be pretty dumb, but when it comes to animals and plants, they usually know their stuff. I asks the guy: Where are all them horny toads? Did the fire ants kill 'em? He says, nope, but it did have to do with fire ants. It seems all the poison people put out to get rid of fire ants also kills harvester ants. Now people who don't live in the Southwest probably ain't familiar with harvester ants. When I was a kid, we called 'em red ants. They are a pretty big ant, and they would make have a nest, not a mound, where they cleared out all the grass and it would always be big. They would leave a nasty welp if they stung you, but they didn't swarm like them fire ants do. Anyways, those harvester ants is what the horny toads eat. So no harvester ants, no horny toads. Also, it seems, no armadillos. Damn them fire ants!

So, what brings up all this recollection of horny toads? It seems some guy was up around Amarillo and stopped to take a picture of a windmill. He spotted a horny toad and took a picture of it instead.

attribution: Scott, thanks

*Everytime I try to end a sentence with a dangling participle, I get this ugly vision of my 6th grade English teacher with a scowl on her face. Ughhhhh!

Who is dissin' whom?

Man, one thing about gals is that they do not have that type of male testosterone stuff like we do that lets them vent their anger and frustration by knocking the crap out of someone else. So, I guess to allow for a bit electronic venting somebody, and I am suspecting is was some gal, produces this lame movie making site where you can make some really pathetic FLASH animations. Just to give you one example of how someone can slam someone else through the use of this facility, have a gander at this: Cherub - Directed by Allstar Productions

Come on, what's up with that? Why can't you just slam your enemy to the mat and hit 'em in the head with a chair? Why not put up your dukes and duke it out on pay-per-view? And just who is slamming whom? I want names! Inquiring minds want to know!

Now ain't that story a real pisser?*

It seems that Sgt. Hook located a delightful yarn** over on Alpha Patriot and whole-hearted and unabashedly posted the whole thing. I really did not blame him for it is really something worth reading. I would have posted the story here, but maybe every blog in the Blogosphere should not actually do so. If they did, then who would visit anyone else's blog? I will let you select which you want to visit in order to read this delightful account of an American tourist's encounter with an English policeman.

Oops, I forgot, I was suppose to just do that as:

HEH!

*This blurb was 01:20:00 hours in the making. It took 10 minutes to initially compose it, 55 minutes of continually trying to get my ISP to connect so that I could save/publish it, 5 mintes to drive home with the text part on a floppy, and another 10 minutes to paste it in, relocate the links, and reformat it for publication. Ain't dialup grand!

**It might be a joke.

Today is bulk mail day!

I have previously mentioned that from time to time, my Aunt Jeanette likes to forward all the emails she gets to me. She is on AOL and I am pretty sure that people on AOL automatically forward everything they get to everyone on their address list. She must check hers once a month or so. I get all kinds of religious pamphlet stuff and virus warnings and every internet hoax that is going around. I have mentioned to her that I am not a big fan of people forwarding such stuff to me and rarely ever forward anything to anyone. I will never forward it back to the person who sent it to me even if it means I supposedly said I do not love you or like you by having failed to do so. She understood my reasoning, but she responded with: "I do not care if you forward it or even read it. I just send it to you so that you will know I am thinking of you." You cannot argue with that. So, I get this barrage of email once in a blue moon and I actually do go through it. I feel it is the least I can do to actually look thhrough what has been sent. I have, on occasion, discovered something of merit in this mass mailing. Today, I thought two were worthy of posting, with my additional comentary:

HOW WE TREAT PEOPLE

Five lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

1. First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello".

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others,

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole."

3. Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.

A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4. Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacles in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5. Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts.

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Then there was this:

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things.

While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home......including the curtain rods.

Link me - Link me!

Well, if you are not aware of it, Frank J has been making a lot of people jump through hoops to get a link on his blogroll. And Kevin is trying to make people do the same to get a link on his permaroll. I am on Kevin's regular blogroll, and I am pretty sure Kevin comes and reads me from time to time. I have him on my blogroll. Frank is on my blogroll, but he is being adament about not adding anyone except whoever wins his groveling contest. I could say that Frank is being a prick by not adding me, but I won't. I like both of these guys. They both have great blogs and I read both regularly.

Do you want a link on my blog? I am not a big dog like Kevin and Frank, but I am getting there. There are two ways you can attempt to get a link on my blog. The first is really pretty easy:

Say something about me or my blog that is remarkable in a comment or on a post on your blog linked back to one of my posts, whether it be good or bad, and you might get a place on the Hit Parade listing just under my logo.

To attempt to get a link on my blogroll, leave a comment to one of my posts or trackback to one of them. I always try to check out who visits or trackbacks to my posts when I am able to find the necessary linkage. I can sometimes do this through Site Meter also, but not always. If you trackback or comment, you leave a link I can follow. I will visit your blog. If you have blogrolled me, and sometimes even if you have not, but I like your blog, your style of writing, and you post with some regularity, you will likely get blogrolled. No guarantees, but there is a better than 50/50 chance that your blog will end up on my blogroll. If you think I have slighted you, or maybe I just visited on a down day, do not worry. Try it again. I have blogrolled some only after the second or third visit.

Thank George, It's Friday!

Well, I have to get to work soon, so might be awhile before I can check the news and Blogosphere again. Just a few quick notes: It seems that my brief foray into the realm of Large Mammals is running steady for the second day. I am now sitting at #220 in NZB's list. Will I stay there? Hmmm, been there once before and then a bunch of them permalinks fell off the front page, so probably not. I actually seemed destined to be a possum for a bit.

It seems Glenn Reynolds' brain is not firing on all cylinders, because he thinks burying planes takes them out of action as effectively as having them shot down. Uh, Glenn, it is much easier to dig planes out of the sand than to recreate them from little shards of metal scattered over miles and miles of sand. Sure, they didn't have any part in the defense of Baghdad, but had the Ba'athists remained in power, they could have dug them up later. A good wash and lube and voila: instant Ba'athist Air Force. And if he buried planes, what do you think Saddam did with those elusive WMDs?

On another note, it does appear that I need to start writing Frank's stuff for him again. Letterman's lists got much better after I started writing his.*

*Sorry Frank, but like you, I am liable to say anything, true or not, to get a laugh, so get over it. Muhahahaha! I am not worried about Letterman, he does not read my blog. I heard he does not even read InstaPundit.