Read My Lips - the blog

Pish posh, what caused that slosh?*

Well, it doesn't happen often, but it seems my hosting company must have had a problem for awhile tonight, just as my visitation was climbing to a new high. I still think I have a new high by one visitor, but then that might have been just my imagination. Anyway, that is the way the cookie crumbles. If you are one of the people who came by earlier and got that stupid page saying the site was not available, it was completely out of my control. I was probably more upset than you, because I was not even able to use my own blogroll to get somewhere else when I found I could not access my own stuff. It is not that I really enjoy reading my stuff over and over, it is just that I like to check from time to time and fix all the mistakes that I missed the last ten times I checked.

At least the server was not off long, and it was not as bad as I thought, as I was pretty sure the problem was that some suicidal terrorist on a unicycle had destroyed the outhouse in New Hamshire where my hosting service is based. Thankfully, I am now assured they are all OK. It just seems that the guy who holds the end of the cord up to the bare wire running across the ceiling of the outhouse, because the plug broke off and they cannot get the wires to fit in those little slots in the socket where the light bulb is hanging down, slipped and fell into the hole. However, it seems he was fished out before he slipped too far into the matter at the bottom of the hole, and, although he smells just a little bit worse than he did when he came to work today, he is back standing on the bench, holding the end of the cord to the bare wire running across the top of the outhouse again.

So, all's well that ends well, as they say. I am just glad I am a long way from that outhouse in New Hampshire.

*Now surely that title is better than Oh Hell, what's that smell?

Episode No. 14

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

September, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

It occurs to me, there is nobody minding the store. The president is so blamed anxious to get Hillary elected to the Senate he is releasing Porto Rican terrorist from prison as a show of good faith -- hoping to garner the huge Porto Rican vote in New York for her.

Meanwhile, Governor Bush seems to be running on a platform of raising money. I know most republicans are wealthy and they want one of their own kind in the Oval Office, but I wonder what they expect in return. Hummmmm!!!

And, what about the Branch Davidian fiasco. Will it never go away? You know those big shots in the FBI and ATF thought they were God when they used incendiary gas after they had explicit orders not to do it. Leaves Janet Reno with a bunch of egg on her face.

Had a rattlesnake bite one of my dogs last week. He had gnawed half his paw off before I found him. I took him to the vet but he died anyway. You would think a blamed dog would know better ‘n try to swat a rattler with his foot. I got a new puppy though. Hits one of them Rottwilers, but I aim to leave it's tail on. That way intruders may mistake it for a hound. Whoooeeee! Won't that be a surprise.

I picked up the following sommers. Don't rightly ‘member where at the moment.

A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.
The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew;
your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed [and hence clamorous to be led to safety] by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
--H. L. Mencken

[*]

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

*Where has BIG BROTHER gone? Only you true Rusty Rucker fans will understand that.

Important Public Service Announcement! Please read!

I just received an urgent email from Glenn Reynolds of InstaPundit and he has informed me that his bandwidth is severely taxed from all of the asshats [he actually used a different term but my fucking morals won't allow me to repeat it publicly] coming to his site to read his boring drivel. He has asked me to inform each and every one of you to please, in the future, visit my blog for your blurbs to the news. He states that mine are far more interesting than his and that I am able to limit mine to items of a real interest to a broader spectrum of the public. He further informed me that should he discover anything of any real interest of a nature of which people should be aware, that he will forward such to me by email so that I can blurb about them here on this blog. This concludes this important public announcement, and you may now return to reading some of my hilarious posting.

There is actually no truth to anything said above,* but wasn't it funny?

*Well it was true where I said his blurbs were boring drivel and that mine were far more interesting.The false stuff was that he emailed me. ;)

Where's your stuff?

It seems that Kelley is tired of posting the best stuff she finds from the bloggers she reads all the time and is looking for a few new people to submit some great work for her to post in the next Cul-de-Sac, so if you don't know Kelley and have something really great you want to share with the Blogosphere, send it her way.

And the Best 15 movies are:

OK, So no one had the guts to tangle with the Tiger today, huh? Well, one small creature did throw a noodle, but what the hey? There is still time!

Did you think I was lolling about, not doing my job: creating great fare for my reader's enjoyment? Posh! Nope, it seems there is something going on about blogger's picks of the 15 best all time movies or some such. You know, there are a lot of movies! So, what I have been doing all day is reflecting upon all the movies I have seen over the years and attempting to come up with what I believe are the 15 best movies ever made. I noticed everyone else went with all those popular movies with which everyone is familiar. What I tried to do was actually to think of all those movies that were really novel and did something different, or were not from the same old cookie cutter that everyone in Hollywood seems to use. Here is my list:

Ordered by Year of Release:

1. The Egg and I - (1947) It introduced of the zany humor of Ma & Pa Kettle and their 15 kids, several sequels followed. Abbot & Costello couldn't touch this with a ten foot pole and probably didn't want to do so.
2. The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T - (1953) Screenplay by Dr. Suess, and I saw it on a B&W TV and it was about as eerie as a little boy could stand.
3. Them! - (1954) The absolute scariest creature movie of them all ... I had nightmares about giant ants for weeks after I caught this one on that old B&W set.
4. The Little Shop of Horrors - (1960) Seymour! Feed me! Jack Nicholson in an early appearance as the masochistic dental patient is a must see! (and this one was directed by Roger Corman?)
5. What a Way to Go! - (1964) Shirley MacLaine seems to be both a good luck charm and a bad luck charm, as she keeps marrying poor men who get rich and then die, and she doesn't want the money and wants to give it all to the IRS. How utterly bizarre is that?
6. Cat Ballou - (1965) This is not what you expect from a western, and you get to see Jane Fonda before everyone hated her. By the way, do you have an identical twin you hate and wish he/she didn't look like you, this movie tells you what to do about it.
7. Fantastic Voyage - (1966) I always wanted to know what it would be like to be miniaturized and be sent through someone's body in a submarine. Raquel never looked better!
8. Popi - (1969) Down-trodden Puerto Rican wants a better life for his two sons so concocts a story for them to tell and sets them afloat.
9. Paint Your Wagon - (1969) Two miners share a wife and Clint Eastwood sings in this western musical. 1969 was a banner year for great flicks! Midnight Cowboy, rated X at the time wins Best Picture (and just barely missed making this list)
10. Cactus Flower - (1969) Goldie Hawn shows she is more than a pretty face who can tell a corny joke.
11. Deliverance - (1972) Best movie soundtrack ever, and how did Ned Beatty ever live down that role?
12. My Name is Nobody - (1973) For spaghetti westerns, Clint never had anything on Terence Hill. And of course, who could not like a movie starring anyone named Terence?
13. Popeye - (1980) Robin Williams proves he can be more than Mork from Ork, and Altman produces a vision of Popeye from the early comic pages, not from the later animated cartoons. Classic stuff!
14. The Gods Must Be Crazy - (1980) If it was not for the invention of videotape, I might not have ever seen this, likely the funniest movie I have ever seen.
15. Tank Girl - (1995) Yes, you likely missed this one unless you have caught one of its regular playings on the Comedy Channel. I mean you not only get Tank Girl, but as a bonus, you get Jet Girl, a bunch of mutant kangaroo like things, a power hungry utility company, and some kick-ass action.

Honorable Mentions: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Midnight Cowboy (1969), Billy Jack (1971), Midnight Express (1978), and The Million Dollar Hotel (2000)

However, I will not finish there, because now I want to tell you the 10 worst movies I have ever seen:

Ordered, again, by year of release:

1. The Wasp Woman - (1960) There could likely be a lot more of Roger Corman's losers on this list, but hey, after this one, I do a bit of researching before renting anything he was associated with. (However, I do own his never released rendition of The Fantastic Four, which is not all that bad, and he did a great job on The Little Shop of Horrors.)
2. The Night of the Lepus - (1972) The absolute worst creature movie ever made. Giant rabbits invade the town and while the rabbits looked real, the miniature town looked horribly fake!
3. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer - (1986) Supposedly based upon the life of Henry Lee Lucas, but this was not The Silence of the Lambs. It sucked big time.
4. Weekend at Bernie's - (1989) I actually got up and walked out of the theater while watching this one. Although the premise had promise, it was so poorly done I just couldn't stand it.
5. Modern Love - (1990) Robby Benson not only starred in this one, but he wrote and directed it. He shouldn't have. Amazon says it is not available on video but that is how I was able to see it. Maybe someone got smart and pulled all copies of this loser from the shelves.
6. Final Approach - (1991) This was one part of the worst double-feature I ever rented. Whoever wrote this script should be taken out back and shot.
7. Bad Lieutenant - (1992) Remember the disgusting bad cop character played by Denzel in Training Day, which I also thought sucked? Take him one step, or maybe two steps, down. There was absolutely nothing to like about this character, and he was just too pitiful a specimen of humanity to give a crap about.
8. Even Cowgirls get the Blues - (1993) I could not understand what kind of statement they were trying to make with this movie at all. Even Uma was not worth watching in this bizarre tale.
9. Cabin Boy - (1994) This loser was written by and starred Chris Elliott. Need I say more? Even Yahoo Serious is funnier than Chris. Letterman was wise to boot him.
10 Titanic - (1997) This was the Best Picture of the Year? What was so great about it? The acting was not all that great and the story was very lame. So what if the sets were glamorous and the score was fantastic? The f**king boat sank and we all knew that was going to happen before it started.

the Teflon ***

OK, so yesterday was Ladies' Day. Today is the one day Tiger Hunting Season. What this means is that you are free to blame me for all the world's problems, jump down my ass for whatever reason you can think of, and can feel free to drag my name though the nasty gutters of the Blogosphere Ecosytem. I hereby await your response! Take your best shot, because for some reason my skin feels pretty thick today and I think I can take whatever anyone can dish out.

*** Hunting Season is now officially open!

[Update: It seems that John and Bill are doing their best to dent my armor plating, but sorry guys, no dents. It didn't even hurt me that you didn't track back to my post. I didn't even cry when Bill said he hates me. ;) nanner-nanner!]

There just might be hope for peace, after all

The family of a Palestinian boy killed in an accident has helped save the lives of four Israeli children by donating his organs, a rare act after 34 months of conflict between Israelis and Palestinians.

Eleven-year-old Qaher Aoude died when he fell off the roof of his home near Nablus in the West Bank.

His family authorised the donation of his organs yesterday over the objections of many of their neighbours angered by Israeli crackdowns on a Palestinian uprising for independence.

"We want Israelis and Americans to know that while the Israeli army kills Palestinians we give life to Israeli children," Murad Aoude, one of Qaher's 17 siblings, said today.

attribution: Fark where you go when the Blogging is slow

Pictures of captured terrorists

It is true. I have personally taken two terrorists into custody and am keeping them in detention on my property.

This wily operative has unique escape abilities, and uncanny hatred of anyone in uniform, and often engages in unprovoked attacks upon invaders of his territory.

The strong silent type, this fem fatale's fierce pose strikes fear in the hearts of even the most battle hardened combatant and she has been actually observed eviscerating her enemy and delightedly dining on its entrails.

And you thought Uday and Qusay were evil. I was able to single-handedly corner these villians and currently have them locked away and under guard.

Monkeyshines in the ol' Blogosphere

It is not often that I post the whole entry of another blogger, but then it is not often that James at OTB posts something that makes me literally fall off my chair laughing:

HOMOPHONES

Frank J admits that he is one. He is not, however, retarded and has even graduated from a prestigious junior high school with a 1570 on his spelling tests. That's good.

[UPDATE: Muhahahaha! Frank has slid down the evolutionary ladder and is a monkey again! Jennifer, in the comments, said it was because he made Susie* cry. I am almost sure it is because he won't give me a link based up my own merit as the funniest blogger in the blogosphere.**

*Susie's link really has nothing to do with this post and goes to one of her posts way back in her archives. I bet she will have a hard time figuring out why anyone tracked back to an April 30th post today! Muhahahaha!

**Frank did give me a blurb in his daily links today, though, so my continued efforts are beginning to wear him down.]

What is good for the goose

I just ran across this MSN news story entitled "Alleged Saddam tape on sons’ deaths." It states:*

TIKRIT, Iraq, July 30 — Skeptical Iraqis began to show signs on Wednesday that they believed Saddam Hussein’s sons Odai and Qusai were dead after a new audiotape attributed to the fallen dictator said his sons had become martyrs in the fight against American occupation.

*Oh, I am absolutely sure that someone else has already found and reported on this story, but I ran across the link to the story when I was checking my hotmail account. I owe no attribution on this one.

[UPDATE: I am fuckin' pissed simply aghast! I thought this was such insightful political analysis that I emailed it to InstaPundit. Not the link, but the whole post, the link to the story, and my permalink. He would not even have had to come to visit my blog to blurb it. But does he? No, three hours, and not a single mention! And what is this with this channelling crap and emulation of his utterly uninteresting style? I mean I understood the first time I emailed him an offer to visit my blog way back when I was pond scum and was ignored, but I have been in the top 300 of the Blogosphere for several weeks and holding steady and my readership climbs day by day. Glenn get off your damn high horse and realize that some of us Johnny-Come-Latelies might be worth a look or a mention once in awhile, also.]

Why does the world seem so insane?

I just got back from the store, only the second time I have left the house, and likely this computer for more than 10 minutes, all day. Jeez, but do I have a pathetic life or what? Anyway, what urged me to run right home and post was that I caught a glimpse of the front page of the Dallas Morning News. Big headline: Dallas has No. 1 big-city crime rate. I thought, wow, that is very alarming, especially since Dallas, is what? like only the 7th largest city in the US. Then I read the story on the web [linked above] and it begins with:

Dallas is on pace to have the highest crime rate among the nation's largest cities for the sixth year in a row, fueled in part by a 72 percent spike in homicides, according to statistics for the first half of this year.

1. There might be a valid reason why Texas leads the nation in the number of people executed; and
2. Executing all of those people does not seem to be causing the murder rate, at least in Dallas, to decline.

Episode No. 13

Yes, kiddies, it is that time again . . . time for another adventure from yesteryear. Yes, we all know you are all ready for another adventure of Rusty Rucker, and today's exciting episode is chock full of spine-tingling tales. So gather around, hush your mouths, make sure the parents are in the other room and let's get this show on the road:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

August 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Let's see if I have this straight. We can spend billions of dollars to protect Albania from the Serbs, but in our war against illegal drugs at home what do we do? I read where President Clinton wants to increase the anount of aid we send Columbia. I say stick that aid where the sun don't shine. The CIA knows the location (unless they have old maps) of every one of those Cocane processing plants. Why not send Stealth fighters in some night and bomb the hell out of all of them. Then make it plain that we will consider any country that exports drugs to the USA to be hostile and aggressive and deal with them likewise. It's stupid to waste time and money trying to stop drug trafficing at the borders. We need to do it at the point of origin.

Something that's a puzzle to me and I can't find no answer. Every time you go to a doctor, he/she will order one or more x-rays, yet we are constantly warned about the danger of radiation. So x-rays are not good for you. Why is it that when a body has cancer they treat it with radiation. It's a mystery I can't solve. Any one who has the answer, drop me a line.

Woah Nellie! Is it ever hot down here in Texas. Folks are doing all sorts of odd things -- like frying eggs on sidewalks, baking cookies inside parked cars, ‘n running air-conditioning day and night. I even got around to hooking up my swamp cooler couple days ago. "Mosquitoes breeding box," I like to call it.
Can't figure how it can be hot and dry for six months but make one little puddle of water on the ground and you'll have a swarm of "skeeters" buzzing ‘round your head all night long.

Might help if I had screens on all the windows. Used to have ‘til one night a danged jet airplane flew over and made a sonic boom. Reckon it skeered Ole Blue a mite. He jumped right through the window, screen and all, and hid under my bed until morning. Hit must a been one of them Stealth Fighters ‘cause I went out and looked all around and didn't see hide nor hair of it.

Billy Bob Simmons lives two places over from me, or did. Old Billy Bob passed away last week and his widow went down to place an obit in the paper. When the paper fellow told her it would cost 50 cents a word she told him just to say, "Billy Bob died." He explained that there was a 7 word minimum so she amended the article to read, "Billy Bob Died. Ford pickup for sale."

Remember what I told ya a couple of months back about leaving kids and pets in parked cars. Well, it's more important than ever to heed that warning. Even with windows cracked it's still too hot. Take ‘em in with you or leave them at home.

My old John Deere tractor is setting idle out in the shed. No sense in planting any fall wheat. Just dry up like my summer garden did. S'pose I'll be eating out of tin cans this winter. Been aiming to run a hose from the creek so I can pump to the house for watering the garden -- maybe a little flower bed too. Only thing is, I ain't got no pump, and no cash for buying one. Of course, if I had a pump I could use the power take off on my tractor to run it. Wouldn't cost much. That old John Deere will plow from sunup ‘til sundown in the summertime on ten gallons of gas.

Expect I got me a brand new grandson yesterday. One of my boys up and married a gal who already has a 7 year old lad. Cutest dad burned kid I ever seen. Looks ‘zackly like me when I was a young‘un. Hee! hee! hee! Am gonna stick a photo of the little dickens down at the bottom. Y'all write and tell me if I am wrong.[*]

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Ah! what would the world be to us
If the children were no more?
We should dread the desert behind us
Worse than the dark before.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

[**]

See all of the currently published Rusty Rucker works by clicking on this link.

Rusty Rucker posts are from previously published monthly columns of my late father that had been lost until I discovered Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

*I was actually at that wedding, but the groom was not I. The kid was cute, the gal was white trash, I thought my brother made a mistake, and it didn't take long for him to realize that fact on his own. The kid was cute, though, so Rusty had that right. Actually my brother has found a really sweet gal who he has married or will soon marry and they had a little baby gal last Octover, She also has a son from a previous relationship and he is much much cuter than the one Rusty was praising. However, Rusty saw a lot of himself in the other kid, as he was a little left-handed red headed rascal, just as Rusty had been so many long years ago.***

**For some reason, it seems that BIG BROTHER was not watching that month. Only you true Rusty Rucker fans will understand that.

***Anyone getting a clue as to why he was called Rusty now?

FOUR PAWS DOWN* . . .

and running in the other direction! Does anyone else think that sometimes Bill just goes a little bit overboard?

*Oh, you just don't know how badly I wanted to entitle this one "And for your dining enjoyment," but even I have scruples.

Ping pong . . . please get the door

I am mostly ragging on myself because I kind of played hookey from work today as I had to hang around so this friend of mine I am assisting in doing a pro se divorce could come and pay me for the favor by cleaning my lair. I was only here so I could watch to make sure I knew where to find everything after she straightened up my clutter. It is amazing how effortlessly and efficiently a woman can clean. What I thought would be an all day job, she completed in three hours while her three little kids [9, 7 and 4] sat and watched a couple of my movies*. I am not sure my toilet and tub were that clean when I moved into this place. All I have to do is to carry the 15 bags of trash out to the curb on Friday, or next Tuesday, or next Friday . . . you get the idea.

Anyway, it seems that

• michele is having one of her more bizarre days
• Tracy is fretting about being oriented [or is that reoriented]
• Susie is off doing a 12 hour shift at work
• Jennifer is playing golf [or at least that is what most guys think of when you say you are "hitting the links"]
• annika must still be getting her beauty sleep, like she needs any of that
• Deb hears voices in her head, or is that strains of Merle Haggard?
• Sassy is sensing conspiracies
• Ith can't wait for The Return of the King
• Jane is still out trying to locate that tape, I guess
• Cherry is rambling along nicely, finally, and getting into true blogger form
• Da Goddess finds that a simple butterfly can uplift your spirits in trying times [and let's all keep Spenser in our prayers!]
• Kate ... well Kate is Kate and her bite is as venomous as ever!
• Jen had an encounter with an idiot
• Patty is missing in action
• Anna is sharing good times with her family
• Lesley is also missing in action
• Lynn S is still having problems with her previous domain server
• Serenity is sweltering in the heat
• Gianna reminded me I know very little about Australian politics
• Erica is busy fantasizing about the sensuality of the Golden Mean
• Sharon is hearing disco music in her head
• LeeAnn is still MIA and has left us all in a lurch with an unsatisfied craving for more cheese on our cracker
• Lily Malcolm is busy with her last day of taking the Virginia Bar Exam, no word on Abby, Iris, or Kate
• I am not sure what is up with Andrea
• Kathy is feeling whimsical today
• Denita had a rough night but shares in Eric's thankfulness at the generosity of strangers . . . and
• L. is just busy

*They really liked Naughty Nurses, but didn't seem to understand the plot of Debbie Does Dallas.***

**Well, Eric did get that one mention, and, of course, you know what I have been up to today.

***Just kidding of course. I actually do not own such movies. The double feature, without popcorn, as I was fresh out, consisted of James and the Giant Peach followed by Indian in the Cupboard.****

****I really like this movie as the moral is so easy to explain: It is wrong to play with people.

Sleight of hand and other inanities

No, your eyes are OK. I just changed the category for all the Rusty Rucker stuff from RIP to Rusty Rides Again. I was a bit brain dead when I was trying to think of a good category name and that one just popped into my head this morning.

I actually did see that counter flip over the 5K mark early this morning, but have no idea who won the prize for being the 5,000th visitor. Too bad, now I guess Frank will have to give that link to Susie. I was gonna point out all those grammatical mistakes Frank made in that post I linked, but I didn't want to make him angry. I still want that link, Frank, and you know I deserve it*!

*I have come to the conclusion that Frank is afraid to blogroll me as he knows most of his readers will think I am funnier than he is. Maybe I ought to paste his picture on a chicken body and display it up on my masthead.**

**Thankfully Frank does have a good sense of humor and knows this is all*** done with a humorous intent.

***Except about him needing to link me because I deserve it, now that part is serious!

Raz on the Braz

Well, the time is drawing near for Scott's hot summer bash: Raz on the Braz! Scott must have some good friends at KTFW 92.1FM because I heard a really nice blurb about the show during their broadcast this morning. Either that or he had to pay on credit because I haven't paid him for my ad in his program yet.

Hey, all of ya'll were probably wanting a nice weekend away over August 7, 8, and 9, 2003, so climb in the car and come enjoy the fantastic Texas heat with Scott and I and listen to some good Texas country music, as well as personally eyeballing both Scott and I. I will be the good looking one. ;)

Rusty recommends it, but, of course, will not be in attendance. At least not in person, but you never know, he might be there in spirit!

Personal to Scott: If you are truly bored, I went on a posting tear yesterday and thought I came up with some hilarious stuff. It is likely that I am the only one that thought so, though. But you feel free to make up your own mind. ;)

What is it about cottage cheese*?

According to information received from a very reliable source, the July 30th Carnival of the Vanities is posted here. As I mentioned yesterday, these type of showcases are a great way to discover blogs that you might not have encountered on your regular reading runs! I have already perused the listings, and there looks like some interesting stuff. Go, read, enjoy, and comment often!

*Oh, my, I think it is in Pixy's cranial cavity ... now how did it get there?

Personal platitudes [or is that platypi?]*

Well, it seems that all those idiots hitting my site looking for the death photos of Uday and Qusay and of Kobe's accuser, and those few looking for pics of Kristin Kreuk in lingerie are paying off, although I surely am not feeling any money jingling in my pocket over it. It also seems there is a new player in the search engine bingo, with a lot of people hitting my blog looking for something about Bob Hope being buried in Arlington Cemetery. And for some reason, it seems there are a lot of bloggers coming to read Rusty Rucker and some of my posts also, but of course, they must be laughing so hard that they forget to comment, or agree with everything I have to say, or something, because I have not seen all that many comments for the traffic I have gotten today. But if they are enjoying what I am posting so much, I wonder why no one is blurbing about all the great stuff they are finding here, as I also seem to see hardly any trackbacks coming my way either. Anyway, I seem to have already surpassed my high visitation rate by over 20 visitors today, and at the last check, I was less than 20 hits from seeing my meter go over 5,000. Ain't blogging grand, when you can spend all your time posting stuff, checking on who is visiting and reading, and sit around worrying why no one is commenting or blurbing about all the great thoughts that come out of your inane brain? And damn, but didn't I do a lot of posting today. Someone would think I had nothing better to do, huh? Come to think of it, I guess I didn't have anything better to do. It is not like I have anyone in my life. I wonder if annika would be interested in a 48 year old, balding man with bad teeth. Heck, I suspect if she was, then she would not be as smart as I give her credit for being.

Comment people, and give me a bit of [linky love]. Those pats on the back feel so much nicer when you don't have to give them to yourself! ;)

*Yeah, like you could have thought up a funnier title![**] Yes, Bill, I am talking to you!

[**UPDATE: SilverBlue was very creative with the title to this post.]

Will the teal turn blue?

Well, Susie is a bit down* about not making the cut in IMAO's groveling contest, so maybe reading this will cheer her up. I want to thank James at OTB for leading me to CalPundit where I found that link.

*Well, Susie, I didn't make the cut either, remember?

And to you too, buddy!

I love the graphic SilverBlue posted as tonight's parting shot. I did notice I have still not been blogrolled over there. I guess I need to send him a picture of my tits. That always seems to be a hit when the gals do it, but might not work for me. I heard my tits are not really all that great! I did have some gal tell me my ass was cute once, but I think she was just trying to get in my pants.

Hell must be much cooler than Texas at the moment

OMG, I actually found something very interesting over at InstaPundit. I might have to take all the mean things I have said about Glenn back, but naw, I still have not been blogrolled or even mentioned over there, so I will keep making the cheap cracks. It seems there is this strange guy named Kevin Schmidt who seems to have given Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry a bit of a scare. You really ought to read this story. It is hilarious. Actually, even the stuff Glenn had to say was pretty interesting.

Haven't I made this comment?

James over at OTB said this:

Some guy calling himself "InstaPundit" thinks it's [something or another they were discussing over at OTB] probably okay, but mainly just offers up a lot of links on the subject rather than any real analysis. (Frankly, he's never going to catch on with a name like that, especially if he's too lazy to write anything.)

Episode No. 12

Yes, just what you have been waiting for all day ... another look into the past into what my late dad had to say in one of his monthly columns. This is number 12, for those keeping count.

For those of you who are big fans of Rusty's columns, I have recategorized such posts, so you can now have an index of all the columns and the poems by linking to the Rusty Rides Again category index page.

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

July 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Well now, let's see if we can get some things in prospective. Like all the high school boys going crazy and killing their fellow students. No one could ever condone such heinous acts, but this was just a handful of youth. Let's think of the millions of teenagers who go to school, mow the lawn, help with chores, sack groceries and lead a normal life.

The media rarely praises these guys. There are so many of them doing so well it is not news, but it should be. Kids today are confronted with stuff we never dreamed of in my day. All kinds of temptation dangling out there for them to latch onto. We didn't have friends selling drugs back then. In fact, the only drugs I knew anything about came from the pharmacy, which we called the drug store.

Another thing we have to keep in mind, the population has doubled and doubled again in recent years. There is overcrowding everywhere. This keeps the pot boiling all the time. It's no wonder that it boils over now and then.

Takes a heap of parenting to raise boys and girls in today's environment. And all too often, both parents work outside the home. I'll tell you right now, whatever extra benefit that second check brings, it is not worth the sacrifice of our children. If folks are gonna have young'uns, they gotta manage it so Mom (or Dad) is home until the youngest is in high school.

I sure can't disregard the mass loss of life in these school shootings, or bombing like Oklahoma City, but there is no justification for taking away our guns. Far back as I can remember it has been unlawful for individuals to own automatic weapons (machine guns) but the mobsters of the 20's had them anyway. Same now! Disarming the population will have little, if any effect on armed crime. Criminals can always get guns. But, imagine what will happen to burglaries and other intrusive crimes when they know the resident is not armed and hasn't any way to protect himself. Never doubt, crimes are committed by persons who do not wish to be caught, hurt or sent to jail. A 38 Smith & Wesson under the mattress or a Colt 45 in the nightstand drawer is an intruder's worst nightmare.

Gun owners should be responsible adults and I have no quarrel with requiring a character check before selling a weapon, not do I object to forbidding the sale of assault rifles and those 25 round "Buck Rogers" pistols. Neither belong in the hands of the general public.

I personally, have a double-barrel 12 gauge shotgun with rabbit and squirrel load on one side and double-ought buckshot on the other. Something for all occasions, you might say.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

... I believe one of America's most priceless assets is the idealism which motivates the young people of America. My generation has invested all that it has, not only its love but its hope and faith, in yours.

--Richard M. Nixon

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!

The essence of being a blogger

Although I have been blogging only since April 4th of this year, I have begun to notice several things about blogging, blogs and the Blogosphere. While I have noticed some variance of design and display, except where enormous amounts of bandwidth are necessary, such seldom makes that much effect on the popularity of a blog. Look, for example, at the most popular blog in the Blogosphere, InstaPundit. There is nothing fantastic about the design of that blog. Even the logo is a simple graphic. What I do find is that there seems to be four primary facets of blogging: 1. Content; 2. Readership; 3. Recognition; and Interactivity. None of these are absolutely 100% essential, but each has an essential place in the overall picture of blogging.

Content is essential, but what that content that is to be is as personal as the blogger. Blogs run the gamut from being serious commentary on the issues to being inane or humorous commentary on all kinds of subjects. Some are just personal journals which share the details of the blogger's life.

Readership is the most essential element of blogging. If no one reads what you write, you could be writing Shakespearean Sonnets and no one would notice. Except for a few purely personal journals, I would bet that most bloggers want people to read their offerings.

Recognition is what I believe to be the most overlooked part of the Blogosphere. While blogrolling a site is a great way to recognize the work of other bloggers whose work you admire, almost all blogs have a fairly extensive list of links in their blogroll. The most effective way of recognizing the work of others is by placing a blurb regarding something great you have read on their site, so as to urge your readers to go read that offering for themselves. This is what InstaPundit is best at doing, although, in many instances the blurb is not as effective as I believe Glenn hopes it would be. I have a couple of points that I think are important to understand about what I call [linky love]. One has to do with links that have no effect on the Blogosphere Ecosystem, and the other has to do with getting stuck in the select circle of influence:

1. I notice quite regularly that someone posts a link to the index page of a blog they already have on their blogroll. This has absolutely no effect on the Blogosphere Ecosystem. It has already counted a link from your site to that blog from your blogroll link and ignores any additional links to the same URL. What it does count are those links to permalinks on the other blog. So if you are linking to another blog in order to enhance the number of links it has in relation to the Blogosphere Ecosystem, link to the post, not to the blog. Also, linking to your posts within your own blog have no effect on the Ecosystem stats for your blog either, so do not worry about using links to prior posts as a navigation tool.

2. I have additionally noticed that many blogs, including myself and InstaPundit, link continually to stories from the same bloggers. What was that number of blogs out there? 2+ million? I cannot and would not attempt to read all those blogs, but what I do hope to do is to get pointers to the best of the posts on all of those blogs by following links on the blogs that I do read. However, that is not happening. Why? I keep rereading the same blogs, which keep linking to the same blogs, which are likely already on my blogroll because I added them from my previous visits after finding links to such blogs on the blogs I read. I really do try to add a new blog to my blogroll from time to time, but those I add are usually ones I found because of some post that I found a blurb to one some other blog that I read. I do urge you all to check out the Showcases, though, because these are a good place to find new blogs to add to the ones you are already reading and to which they are linking. Currently we have NZB's New Weblog Showcase, Kevin Aylward's Bonfire of the Vanities, Suburban Blight's Cul-de-Sac and the ever nomadic Carnival of the Vanities. However, except for NZB's New Weblog Showcase, I have found the posts on the other Showcases are littered with posting from the usual suspects.

Interactivity is what I think sets blogging off from other forms of online reporting. I like to see the comments of people to my stories almost as much as I like having them blurb about them on their own blogs. The interactivity assists the blogger in understanding his/her readership more than almost any other thing associated with blogging.

Now I know this is only a skeleton discussion of these issues, and I definitely reserve the right to expand on this discussion at a future date, but I felt some need to get these observations out into public view. So you two or three people who regularly read this blog, feel free to pass this information along to your friends and neighbors, OK?

Another near disaster averted?

It seems that Kevin is burning all the trash that accumulated in the Blogosphere last week.

Saddam* says sons were martyrs

According to this CNN report:

The Arabic-language television network Al Arabiya on Tuesday broadcast an audiotape said to carry the voice of Saddam Hussein mourning the loss of his two sons.

[*]The authenticity of the tape was not confirmed.

Chuckle up & take it in the gut

I received both my August 2003 The Lion magazine and the July/August 2003 The American Legion magazine. Of course, I usually turn first to the back pages of both first, as that is where the jokes are. Here were the ones I liked best:

From The American Legion:

A young couple was driving down a moonlit country road when the car engine coughed, and the car came to a halt.

"That's funny," said boy said. "I wonder what that knocking was."

"Well, I can tell you one thing for sure," the girl responded coolly. "It wasn't opportunity."

and there was this quote:

"A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top." ~ James Reston

From The Lion:

It had been snowing for hours when the announcement came over the intercom at a high school: "Will the students who are parked on the side of the building please move their cars so that we may begin plowing!"

Twenty minutes later came another announcement: "Will the 900 students who went to move 26 cars please return to class!"

and

A young man decided to join the police force. During the exam, he was asked: "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

Without pausing, he replied: "Call for backup!"

and finally:

Joe got a letter form the IRS declaring that he was going to be auditied.

On the day of the audit, he sat figiting in his chair as the agent pored [sic] over his statements.

Finally, the agent looked up and sat back in his seat, remarking, "Well, sir, you must be a great fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

"Why would you say that?" Joe said, surprised at this remark.

"Because," the agent said ominously, "you have made more billiant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."

I guess you get what you pay for [or NOT]

OK, I forget who had this thing on their blog about this great item that the Great State of Texas was offering: an Heirloom Birth Certificate. I was interested, but one of the requirements for purchase was a bit beyond my reach. Check out the extended entries for the email exchange between myself and the Registrar [or more likely some moron employed in such office] of the Texas Department of Vital Statistics:

Loads of [linky love] and more

First of all, Tony has found a great site full of answers to questions about our planet and such to check out over at Technically Speaking. He also had something to share with all of you people who share files over the internet.

It seems that Rusty Rucker has been recognized over at Suburban Blight's Cul-de-Sac thanks to Denita at Who Tends the Fires. Denita, Rusty thanks you and so do I! And I want to thank Deb Yoder for showing me the way.

It seems that if you Ask Jeeves: who shot J.R.?, you will actually find a link to one of my very old posts on the return page.

Kevin finds Texas Democrats have decided New Mexico is a better place to hide than Oklahoma.

Susie has not linked to me in a while. I wonder if it is because I have not posted anything nasty about Net Flix. I actually did make a few ***istic comments on Frank's site. Frank, however, has still not blogrolled me, despite saying I make him laugh and having voted that my answer to the essay question in his groveling contest was his favorite in the section I was in. Frank, you know I deserve that link. I might have a better chance of getting a blurb or a link on InstaPundit, eh?

James [Parkway Rest Stop] has a logo design he is having problems displaying correctly and also has a story about a motorcycle that will blow you away at 400mph. [He attributed the find to The Presurfer] And speaking of not being blogrolled, James still seems to not have recognized my existence, but he is still on blog*spot, and has no comments or trackbacks.

OLDCATMAN got some help from Susie and now has some blogs (including mine) linked on his site, and his commentary [BRAIN FARTS] is [ARE] still some of the funniest stuff around the Blogosphere. If you haven't checked out OLDCATMAN, do so!

OK, it seems that Stephen [I believe it is spelled with a "ph"] of Little Tiny Lies has discovered that the dead bodies of Uday and Qusay are for sale on eBay. Now Stephen only supplies a screenshot of the site and some of the tiny text is not really clear, so I am unsure if this is not just another little tiny lie. With Stephen, you never really know, do you? And speaking of Uday and Qusay's dead bodies, I got within 10 visits of my high mark in visitation today, but mostly because I seem to be getting a lot of hits from searches for Uday and/or Qusay's dead body pics or for pics of Kobe's accuser.

InstaPundit still has not blogrolled me or even mentioned my blog, and as far as I can see, has nothing all that interesting to see except a few blurbs to get you to read other people's stuff. Oh he did post something about some story that was going around the Blogosphere being confirmed as true.

Despite the fact that Bill and Collin were both supposed to be having a Insultathon today [blame Susie for this one], neither blog has had much action today. Bill has started competing with the Frank Answers series on IMAO, though, by having starting an Ask Scabby series.

Cherry is my blog child, you know, and still needs some encouragement, so visit and comment.

annika said I could bite her ... if only that was true. If she is truly the person pictured on her site, she looks so delicious, I would love to take her up on that offer.

Pixy Misa says Emusic is the only way to go when it comes to downloading music, and it is the legal way to do it. I am not much on downloading music, but then again, I have searched and searched for B. W. Stevenson's "Shambala" locally with no luck, and for "thirty-seven and a half cents per CD" whether Australian or US, I would like that better than paying $12.98. Maybe I will do a bit of searching there myself, when I get some free time.

If only michele could surpass InstaPundit in the Blogosphere Ecosystem .... You know, this might be the highest rated blog on which I am blogrolled, even if it is on the see it all part. [I am not definitely sure where that link will take you, so venture there at your own risk!]

Well, if you made it down this far, I appreciate your patience. I actually hope you did take the opportunity to visit some of the links posted and found a lot of blog enjoyment in your travels. Uh, if any of you want to return a bit of the linky love, feel free to do so, but do not feel obligated.

P.S. On first send, I got all the MT pings [maybe 10 to 15] to go through, but still the rpc.blogrolling.com/pinger one still hangs up every time. I just do not understand why that happens every time?

I found a good biscuit at suppertime

Well, I turned on the tube while I was dining on my TV dinner. It was right at 9:00 p.m. local time and I was scanning the channels looking for something great to watch. I was passing PBS when I saw The American Experience was coming on. I do not think I have ever seen an episode of that show which I did not enjoy, as it is such a well done series. Tonight's episode was about a horse. What horse, you wonder? Sea Biscuit. The link takes you to the PBS site about the episode where you can hear vintage radio broadcasts of Sea Biscuit's races and much much more. I wanted so badly to post something about it here when I saw it coming on, but didn't think many would catch the blurb quickly enough to catch the episode. Of course, I am unsure if PBS series play on the same date and time in all areas, so if your local PBS affiliate has not yet aired this week's American Experience, catch this one. It is a great story! [And I understand they are going to soon be releasing a major motion picture about Sea Biscuit*] I wonder, however, if maybe Lance Armstrong didn't inherit Sea Biscuit's heart?

*I know you all knew that!

Sometimes I just hate* my ISP

I just composed a very lengthy posting on my review of LXG and MY ISP decided to go lame while I was attempting to save it. Whole thing lost! Oh well, here is the most interesting take I found on the movie while I was searching for any reference to Rodney Skinner in H. G. Wells "The Invisible Man."

*Realize that I do not hate any of the individuals who are employed with such service, as I try not to hate anyone. Let us just say the service sucks.

Episode No. 11

Yep, it is time again to post another exciting monthly column from the past writings of my late father. This is eleventh monthly column, so please enjoy yourself and please tell your friends!

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he comes up with, and who knows, you might even agree with part of it.

June 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

A while ago I heard a little boy say, "What do I need to learn math for? I got a pocket calculator." I expect you have your own ideas WHY, but this is the way I see it. "Because it exists." Learning is somethin' we all gotta do ever day, else when we get old and start forgetting stuff, pretty quick our heads will be empty as a gourd. Show me a child who is curious and inquisitive and I'll point out a young 'un that will amount to something.

Funny thing is, I have knowed smart kids what spent more time and energy getting out or chores and assignments ‘n it would take to do ‘em, but that's a whole nother keg of worms.

And parents, if you have a youngster that wants to sit in front of the TV all summer, buy him a magazine about whatever it is that attracts his interest. He may be content to thumb through it at first, but soon as something catches his eye, he will read about it, even if he has to come ask you half the words. The trick is to get him interested in reading -- and learning.

I recall in the days before TV, we would divide up the paper and all read at the breakfast table. "Course, now my sight has gotten so blamed bad and the print is so dad-burned tiny, I don't bother with the paper anymore. What news I get is off the radio -- Paul Harvey. Reckon we are ‘bout the same age.

With Summer sneaking up on us, it's time to remember some safety precautions. Every year little kids and little pets suffocate in locked cars because of unthinking adults.

First off, never leave a child in a car for ANY length of time, for ANY reason. Don't believe your two year old who laughs and honks the horn when you run into a convenience store for a pack of cigarettes or jug of milk can't get curious and pull the car into gear. The possibilities from this action are endless -- from banging a gas pump which could catch fire, to rolling into the street amid speeding traffic. Oh, I know that some fancy new cars can't come outta park without a foot on the brake, but there are other hazards, like opening the door or KIDNAPPING. Just gather the tot into your arms and take him/her with you. And pets, though they are not likely to put the car into gear, grow panicky when left unattended. They are apt to scratch or chew the upholstery or at the very least, wet the seat. Temperature in a closed vehicle can reach deadly height in ten minutes or less when parked in the sun with an outside temperature of ninety or higher. Remember the old slogan "SAFETY FIRST" still applies today.

If you 'n the kids happen to drive by my shack this summer, drop in and we'll go out to the patch and fill up on watermelon. Nothing is so good as a melon cooled in the night air and picked fresh from the vine. Just bust it open and scoop out a fistful of heart meat and stuff it in your mouth. Never mind the juice dripping off your chin. We'll take care of that in the creek afterward.
Heck, I might even throw in a peck of roastin'ears and a sack full of tomatoes.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

I keep six honest serving-men
[They taught me all I knew];
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who
--Rudyard Kipling

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!

The trouble with Susie

It seems Susie cannot dislike any of her posts enough to pick one to burn on the Bonfire of the Vanities. However she seems very good at picking the ones of mine that should be thrown on the pile. She said both rag: I seem to have my head up my ass and rant: Oh, how I hate Mondays should be thrown on this week's pile. I took her advice and submitted both. Thanks Susie!

Blogging in its true perspective

Cyber Atlas has come up with some statistics on the effects of blogging on the online community. Attributing theundergrounddialectic for the find, Lynn S [Reflections in D minor] has digested and regurgitated such statistics in a form that is more enlightening and enjoyable to read than the original story. One of the observations she made of which I believe most are unaware:

60 percent of bloggers and 54 percent of blog readers have dial-up Internet access.

Hello! All you bloggers out there with fancy headers and lots of other stuff that make your pages take forever to load - did you get that? More than half of us are still using dial-up! So here's a great way to increase your traffic: SIMPLIFY.

Travelling that final ROAD

I just got a flash from CNN that comedic genius Bob Hope has died at 100. Thanks for the memories!

[Update: It seems that everyone but puppy blender has posted on this story. Kevin has the best post I have seen.]

Just thought I would update you as to what IMDB said about Hope today. So as to retain all of the linkage, the following is cut&paste from the source code on their index page from today:

Bob Hope: 1903-2003

Bob Hope, beloved comedian, actor, emcee, ambassador, and emissary, passed away last night (7/27) at his home in Toluca Lake. He had turned 100 on May 29th. Hope starred in over 60 movies and his success spanned vaudeville, radio, television, and the big screen. Hope, along with Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour, starred in the popular "Road to.." movies as well as headlining such films as The Seven Little Foys, The Paleface, and The Great Lover. On the small screen during the '60s and '70s, Hope's Christmas and comedy specials were a treasured staple, expanding on the formula of girls and gags from his U.S.O. tours. It's for these tours, particularly during World War II, the Korean war, and Vietnam war, that Hope endeared himself to U.S. servicemen and for which, in 1997, Hope was awarded the status of "Honorary Veteran" by the U.S. Congress. No other civilian holds the honor. Please visit our gallery of photos and leave your thoughts, comments, and remembrances of this beloved entertainer on our message boards. Thanks for the memories Bob.*

*One has to wonder if they had actually read my post before coming up with that ending phrase, huh?

And the test result says:

According to a test I just took at emode.com:

The Religion Test

***, your belief system is best suited to religions that value open mindedness

How do we know? While you were taking this test, we compared your religious beliefs against 10 of the world's most common religions. Your score shows that you share core beliefs with religions that encourage you to find your own spiritual path.

You are attracted to a religion that tolerates mixed beliefs about the existence of God and upholds the idea that there is something to be learned from every religion. You are open to a wide variety of religious and spiritual ideas. You are attracted to spiritual groups that are composed of typically open-minded and intellectual people who actively engage in individual exploration of many different spiritual truths.

[UPDATE: And from my email, they continue with:

***, your religious beliefs have the most in common with Unitarian Universalism

Did you know?

What sets Unitarian Universalism apart from other religions is their view on religious tolerance.]

Help! I really do need your comments, please!

I have just re-begun my story again. In the extended entries is the prologue, and I am wanting anyone who wants to do so to read it and give me your comments about it, what doesn't make sense, what you think should be changed, if the conversations sound real, and hopefully anyone with a Marine Corps background to check for any errors about things I might have stated dealing with the Marine Corps.

Copyright 2003 - Terence A. Russell

Prologue - July 26, 1986

The scene was hectic. There were emergency vehicles all over the place. Sergeant Johnson, LAPD, was the first officer on the scene. Despite the din of voices from the emergency crew, there was one distinguishable sound, that of a wailing baby coming from the bottom of the canyon.

"What happened?" Sergeant Johnson asked the ambulance driver.

"From the information I have received, that man over there," the driver said pointing to man sitting on a rock on the other side of the road," came around that curve a bit fast and crossed over into the other lane. There was a car approaching which veered to avoid the accident, hit a rock, flipped, slid across the road on its roof, went over the retaining wall, and ended up at the bottom of the canyon."

"How do we get down there?"

"The fire department is rigging up repelling gear right now, ready to send someone down to check on the passengers of the other vehicle." The ambulance driver pointed toward where the firemen were working on the harnesses.

Another police squad car arrived and Sergeant Johnson approached as the patrol officer was exiting his vehicle. "Talk to that man over there," he said, pointing to the man sitting on the rock. "I am going to see if I can get down to the bottom of the canyon with the firemen. Anyone else arrives, tell them to secure the area and to canvass for witnesses."

Sergeant Johnson approached the firemen. "How much longer before we get someone to the bottom of that canyon. I can hear a baby crying down there, so we have a survivor."

"We are about ready."

"Any chance I can go along?"

"Can you repel?"

"It has been awhile, but I did do a bit of that when I was in the service."

"Then get in a harness, and come on down. We are all ready to begin our descent." The fireman turned to another fireman and stated, "Get the officer rigged for descent," and then hooked a D-ring onto the rope secured to a hook on the front of the big red fire engine, backed over the edge of the canyon lip and jumped backwards, falling out of sight.

Sergeant Johnson waited a brief moment for the fireman to retrieve another seat harness from a compartment on the rescue vehicle. When the young fireman returned and handed him the nylon mesh contraption, Sergeant Johnson stepped into it, and cinched it tightly around his waste. He tugged on one of the ropes which was weightless, thus insuring no one was still using such rope on a descent into the canyon. He clipped on, backed over the lip and pushed off. The descent 30 feet to the bottom of the canyon was one smooth glide until he alighted on the craggy surface. The car, a late model four-door Chevrolet, metallic blue was sitting on its roof, which had compacted and flattened against the body cavity. The wailing of the baby was drowning out all the other sounds.

As Sergeant Johnson approached the vehicle where the crew of four firemen was gathered, the lead fireman was radioing to the top detailing what equipment needed to be lowered into the canyon. "Bring the emergency truck to the edge and hook up the winch. Lower a body platform with bars. String 50 feet of pneumatic hose and lower the hammer and saw. This car is crushed and we are going to have to cut our way inside."

"Any signs of other life inside?" Sergeant Johnson asked, after the fireman had finished his call.

"You mean other than the baby?"

"Yes, I mean any sounds from any other occupants of the vehicle?"

"No, but they could be unconscious. We need to get a good look inside to see what injuries they might have sustained. Landing on the roof like that is a pretty good indication of neck injuries, though."

"Yes, that seems a good bet. So how long before we can get a look inside?"

"I suspect about 10 minutes once we get the equipment down. We are going to have to cut partially through one of the doors and pry back the metal manually. Without knowing where how the people are situated on the inside, we dare not cut all the way through lest we cause further injury."

"Well, do what you have to do, and keep your fingers crossed that everyone survived."

"Yes, a prayer might be in order."

During the conversation, the equipment had been lowered and the firemen began to execute their duties. Over the next few minutes, the cut, pried, cut some more, and pried again, and finally got the rear passenger's side door opened. The very young baby was just one the other side of the portal they created and one of the firemen gently picked it up, supporting its neck in his gloved hand and turned to hand it off to another of the firemen. The leader barked, "Get that baby up to the ambulance, stat." The fireman with the baby lay on the body board, clutching the baby to his chest and tugged on the cable." The body board was slowly winched up the canyon wall.

The fireman who had retrieved the baby and entered the vehicle on his hands and knees to check out the remaining passengers. He emerged and shook his head. "Three dead," he said, "One young adult male, one young adult female and one middle-aged adult female."

"OK," said the rescue leader, "Nothing more we can do. Smitty, you say down and hook the cable for the wrecker company. The rest of us are going back up." The remaining firemen began to ascend the canyon wall utilizing the ropes.

Sergeant Johnson took the pad and pen from his breast pocket and jotted down the make, model and license number of the vehicle. He approached the ropes and began his ascent and found the climb a bit more strenuous than he had imagined. He struggled but did finally reach the lip of the canyon, where the leader of the rescue group grabbed him and assisted him over the edge. "The baby checks out, unharmed," he said as Sergeant Johnson regained his feet.

"At least that is some good news," Sergeant Johnson said as he motioned for one of several officers now at the scene to approach. When the officer arrived, he tore off the page from his pad and handed it to the officer. "Run this through DMV and see if we cannot locate a next of kin." He then walked off toward the ambulance.

"I hear the baby is unharmed," he stated to the ambulance driver.

"Yes, but the hospital advises transport. They want to do a series of tests to make sure there are not any internal injuries. We are advised to move with due haste."

"Go! I will be right behind you." As he walked over to his unmarked car, the ambulance engaged its light and sirens and sped off toward the hospital. Sergeant Johnson yelled to one of the other officers, "If anything comes back on that plate, I will be with the baby at Mercy." After receiving the officer's acknowledgment of having received his I information, he climbed into his nondescript Ford and drove off after the ambulance.

Mercy Hospital was only a short drive from the accident location and the ambulance had already arrived its precious cargo transported into the emergency room by the time Sergeant Johnson arrived. He had just parked when his radio cracked, "Unit 14, this is Base."

"Base, this is Unit 14."

"I was informed you wanted information on a plate called in through DMV?"

"That is correct."

"Information returned shows the car was registered to Colonel Paul Acosta, El Toro."

"Thanks Base. Can someone attempt to contact El Toro and locate Colonel Acosta or his next of kin. I have not received identification of the other passengers of the vehicle, but we have a very young infant that has lost her mother, and, I assume father. The baby is at Mercy, and I am currently on location."

"Will do."

"Also, have someone at the scene report to me as soon as they get through with the rest of the investigation. I am going to go check on the baby's condition. Unit 14 out."

Sergeant Johnson entered the emergency room and approached the intake desk. "A baby was just brought in from an MVA. I am the investigating officer."

"Treatment Room 6," said the nurse without even looking up, pointing to her left.

"Thanks," Johnson muttered as he moved off down the long tiled hall to his right. He found Treatment Room 6 and peered in seeing an ER doctor moving a stethoscope over portions of the baby's torso listening intently to sounds. Upon completing his examination, the doctor turned to the attending nurse and Sergeant Johnson heard him state, "Totally unharmed, but only a few days old. Crying is like due to its being hungry. Transport to the Maternity Ward until a relative comes to claim the child."

The nurse picked the child up from the bed upon which it had been laid and as she walked past Sergeant Johnson, he got his first really good look at the baby, a small cherub face with a tuft of blonde hair and two vivid blue eyes. "Nurse," he said before she had walked very far. She stopped and turned. "What is the sex of the child? I will need that for my report."

"It is a girl."

"Thanks." The nurse nodded and proceeded toward the elevator.

"Sergeant Johnson," a police officer walking quickly in this direction said.

"Yes?"

"We have gotten in contact with Colonel Acosta's commander. He says Colonel Acosta is out to sea, but Officer Levi explained the situation to the General, who said they would chopper the Colonel back to base ASAP. He said expected ETA is five hours."

"Good. The baby is fine and they have it in Maternity. Call in and have them pass along the news to Colonel Acosta. You did make them aware that all of the other people in the vehicle had died?"

"Yes, and according to the General, it is likely that the other passengers were Colonel Acosta's wife, daughter and son-in-law."

"What about the driver of the other vehicle? What information did we get about the cause of the accident?"

"The other driver was a 16-year-old, just out hot-rodding. He said he ‘just went over the line a bit, but the old woman who was driving the other car panicked.' His words, according to the report. He doesn't have any insurance."

"Is he still at the scene?"

"Yes."

"Well, have them write him a ticket for no insurance, traveling too fast for conditions, failure to maintain a lane and cut him loose. From what I could see of the skid marks, his story does check out. It is more likely the old woman did take faulty evasive action, so it is unlikely any other charges would stick. However, forward the report to the District Attorney. Leave it up to them to see if they see any other charges are merited."

"You want me to hang around and await the Colonel's arrival?"

Before Sergeant Johnson could answer, the nurse tapped him on the shoulder, "Sorry to bother you officer, but I got some information I thought you would like to have for your report."

"OK, what is it?"

"Well, it seems that Maternity recognized the child. She was born here three days ago and she and her mother were released just a couple hours ago. Maternity says the child's name is Alura Allen, and her mother was Susan Allen and her father's name is Stuart Allen."

"Thanks for that information." The nurse nodded and went off to seek her next duty.

"Sarge, you didn't answer. Didn't you want to get back out on the streets? I can sit here and await next of kin."

"No, I think as the investigating officer, I had better await the Colonel's arrival."

The officer left and Sergeant Johnson went to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee and a couple of donuts. He then went back to his car and moved it out of the emergency area to clear up essential parking space. He found a shady spot out near the edge of the parking lot. He just remained in the vehicle, drank his coffee, ate his donuts and scribbled a few more notes about the accident in his notebook. "MVA, Canyon Drive, 7/26/86 appx. 2:30 pm. No collision between vehicles, accident due to faulty evasive action. Car flipped upon collision with rock, skidded across road on roof, over retaining wall, and came to rest at bottom of canyon appx.. 30 feet down on roof. Roof caved. Rescue used pneumatics to cut into vehicle. Three dead, one survivor, small infant girl. Survivor identified as Alura Allen by Mercy Hospital personnel, suspected victims are child's mother, Susan Allen, child's father, Stuart Allen, and maternal grandmother, only known information is Mrs. Colonel Paul Acosta, USMC." He hastily scribbled a diagram of the accident scene below his notes.

Sergeant Johnson laid back in his seat and listened to the traffic on the police radio while attempting to compose what he would say to Colonel Acosta upon his arrival. He could imagine who devastating the news would be when he discovered that the cause of the accident was an over reaction by his own wife, which cost the lives of his wife, daughter and son-in-law. It was a hot day in La and Sergeant Johnson laid back and closed his eyes, dreading having to give his report to the Colonel. This was one of the worst parts of his jobs, he thought, having to deliver the bad news to relatives of people who tragically died in motor vehicle accidents.

A helicopter fluttered in for a landing, and Sergeant Johnson opened his eyes at the sound. He immediately recognized the Navy insignia on the chopper's side and exited his vehicle to and began to walk toward the helipad, some forty feet away. As he drew near, a tall dark complected man in fatigues departed the aircraft, walking from beneath the blades hunched over as the chopper again rose into the skies. "Colonel Acosta?" Sergeant Johnson called over the roar of the chopper's engines.

"Yes, I am Colonel Acosta."

"I am Sergeant Johnson, LAPD. I am the investigating officer in the accident that took place earlier today."

"Yes, thank you. I understand that my wife, daughter and son-in-law perished, but my granddaughter escaped unharmed?"

"That is correct, sir."

"Who was driving?"

"According to the other driver, we believe it was your wife. The vehicle was wenched out of the canyon and I have not received a report as to where the bodies were positioned inside."

"Fault?"

"It does appear that your wife may have taken faulty evasive action to avoid an accident, collided with a rock on the side of the road, and ended up upside down in the bottom of the canyon. From what I saw of the car, it is a miracle anyone was found alive."

"The other driver?"

"Kid, 16, took the curve too fast and jumped the line a couple of inches. We cited him, and I will refer to the DA for additional charges."

"No, I think he will have nightmares about the incident. My wife was a poor driver, and likely argued with my son-in-law about who was going to drive. There has been enough trauma associated with this accident, so tell the DA I agreed to no further charges on the kid."

"Colonel Acosta, this has gone much more smoothly than I imagined."

"Sergeant Johnson, I have been a Navy Seal for over 20 years. I have seen both my share of tragedy and death. I lost both my parents to a drunk driver when I was 16. My son-in-law's father was my best friend who died in my arms in Viet Nam. Except for one sister I have living in a mental institution because of a brain tumor, I am the only relative of that baby in there. We are going to have a hard enough time of it without regretting the events of today or pointing blame at anyone."

"Well, you have one beautiful healthy granddaughter just waiting for you inside, sir."

"Thanks," Colonel Acosta said as he started toward the hospital.

"Colonel Acosta, if I may ask, what are you going to do now?"

"Well, I am on emergency leave, but I have already informed headquarters to start on my retirement paperwork. I am going to take that little girl back to the old home place in New Mexico and do my best to raise her."

"The very best of luck to you, Colonel Acosta. The best of luck to you and little Alura."

"Alura? I wasn't sure what they had finally decided to name that child. Thanks, Sergeant. Thanks for being here and briefing me on the event."

The search engines must love me

Hmmm, I seem to be getting a lot of visits, but it seems most people come from search engines to find the photos of Kobe's accuser,* looking for Uday's and Qusay's pics, and still hitting that damn Michael Jackson posting I did a long time ago. The only post I seem to be visitors from other bloggers lately is the post I did in response to what Venomous Kate said on her blog about how active women's lives are.

[UPDATE: It seems I am number one and number two on AOL's search engine for monica lewinski's birthday.]

[UPDATE II: I just found that you can do a search on MSN Search to see how is linking to your domain, ie. linkdomain:tiglaw.com ... if it would just show everything on one page.]

*It does seem that a lot of the hits come via Glenn [not Reynolds]'s blog, which might be higher on the search engine than mine and a few seem to have been the publisher of uselessjunk.com checking the engines to see who has made comments about what they found on the site.

Episode No. 10

This is the tenth of the monthly columns my late dad wrote:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you might even agree with parts of it.

May 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Technology has done caught up and is running circles around us. Wonder how many VCRs have been flashing 12:00 for more ‘n five seasons? If them that makes ‘em are so blasted smart, why don't they set the time at the factory? Or have a button you could push to start the clock and set it with one touch. No, scratch that. The trouble with most doohickeys now is too many buttons -- half are never pressed for fear they will blow up the dad-blasted hen house.

Stopped by a fellers house t'other day ‘cause he invited me over to see his new Digital High Definition TV. It was right fancy to stare at, but the picher looked same an all others I'd seen and I told him so.

"Well, " he says, "that's ‘cause they haven't started broadcasting HDTV yet."

It were about the same nonsense as me buying a brand spanking new Studebaker Wagon ‘n see if somebody happens to come along and gim'me a team of draft horses. I don't think so. Heck, b'fore he gets the chance to see what its like, they may be somtin already better.

After he had done with showing me his pride and joy -- cost a bit more than I paid for my farm 50 years ago -- I happened to look over on a little side table and remote controls were piled up like firewood. At my questioning he told me, one was for the TV, one for the VCR, one for the satellite dish, and one for the CD Player, but what really scratched my funnybone, one was a universal to replace all the others, but he couldn't remember which buttons did what ‘cause every last one of them had multi-functions.

"Besides," he said, "It will only do basic commands. So I need the old remotes for more suffocated programing."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Don't know. Never learned how to do any." With that he got up, walked across the room, and pulled the TV's power cord from its wall socket.

Never was one to waste time. When I got nothing to do, I whittle. Keeps my hands busy and I don't run out of toothpicks.

Both my hounds got into it with a skunk a while back. Smelt right pungent at my place for a while. Never did find out who won, but I dang sure know two dogs that lost. I tied ‘em to a willow tree down by the creek so they could get water and heaved biscuits at them for a week. S'pose they'll think twice ‘fore they tangle with a striped cat again.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, we tend to neglect the faith that moves mountains.
--Eric Hoffer(Var.)

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!

Good Morning Susie!

Susie says it is not too late to give money to all those great charities for which all the Blogothoners spent all day assisting to raise money.

Isn't funny how soon you forget?

I just remembered what today is. Today is the day my late wife would have turned 42. As seven days from today will be the anniversary of her death, it now comes to mind why I have been stuck in a blue funk for the last few days.

Is this an earful or what?

Thanks to Denita, Rusty Rucker's biggest fan, I found this very well-composed item by Venomous Kate about what it is like to be a woman juggling all those daily events. Of course, women have really never understood the role of males as hunter/gatherers, have they? [ducks and runs for cover]

Oh, did I mention that I did blogroll Electric Venom?

The part has finally arrived

It seems that the last part has fallen into place and the Blogosphere Ecosystem is back online. It was good to see myself back among the Maruauding Marsupials again.

If you know Susie

Susie thinks I don't read her blog because her blogroll pings don't work. Hmmm, I don't thing mine work either despite the fact that I continually republish each new entry to manually send out such ping. I do read her site at least once every day, whether she believes I do or not.

Oh, didn't anyone think footnote Tiger of this post was funny? I thought that it was a gem.

You'd better not pout*

I seem to have started of a bit of conversation in the comments on my Could it have been said any better? post. It was not my actual intent to do so, but then again, I have always questioned almost anything done in the name of religion, unless they are good deeds, and still, I disagree with why such are done in the name of religion.

I am not the most ardent student of the world's religions. It is not that I do not want to be, but like most other subjects in which I find interest, time limits how much ardency I can apply to any single interest. I did, however, recently buy a series of books Great Religion of Modern Man published in 1961 about religion. There are six books: Judaism, Catholicism, Protestantism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. I have only begun reading these books, having gotten halfway through the first book: Judaism.

Such book seemed the logical place to begin, as three of the remaining five religions have beliefs based upon occurrences during the lives of Jewish ancestors. What such book has divulged thus far is that I had already possessed adequate knowledge to understand most things dealing with the Jewish religion.

I am going to extrapolate such inference to conclude that I understand enough of all these religions to discuss what I believe to be the fallacy of religion:

All religions seem to correlate acts to what occurs after you leave this plane of existence. Often couched in terms of what acts open the path to the next plane or such plane that will be your destination. In essence, they define, within such religion what is good and what is evil. What is disturbing is when one religion defines its members as good and members of all others as evil.

Could we count the wars and the people who died in the name of eradicating the heathens? What bizarre things some religions believe: That the deaths of ones enemy pleases the deity you worship; That it is OK when you fail as long as you ask the deity's forgiveness; and That faith is the deity brings good fortune. I am sure there are so many, many more, but these were the ones that immediately come to mind.

Whenever I am asked about my religion, I always state: I am the pastor and sole member of the Church of Goodness for Goodness' Sake. I choose not to do my best to be a good person in obedience to some unknown deity or for sake of afterlife salvation. This is my only known existence, and I choose to deal with this one in the best way that I can. I do what is right because it is right; I do good things for the sake of making this existence more pleasurable for myself and my fellow man.

If there really is a soul, it is energy of some form. When your body dies, that energy may go somewhere. It has always been my belief that a good person exudes positive energy and a bad person exudes negative energy. Upon death, the energy goes where energy goes. Negative energy is absorbed into the ground and positive energy floats way out into space and joins that giant nebula of combined consciousness that continually watches the development of our species. Is that Heaven and Hell? I doubt my Bible thumbing, Hell and Brimfire Missionary Baptist preaching great-grandfather would agree with my opinion. What he would never understand is that a big part of him in actually deep within my religious base.

*Extra points for anyone who can explain why I used the title I did for this post.

Episode No. 9

This is the ninth of the monthly columns my late dad wrote:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you might even agree with parts of it.

April 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

WHAT IF:
You and several friends were walking down the street and came upon some guys taking turns raping a young girl.

WOULD YOU:

1. Get in line for a turn.
2. Look the other way and hurry past.
3. Rescue her, even if it meant putting your own life in danger.

I hope most people would choose #3. I would and so has NATO.

There is no way to know how our involvement in the Serbian war will come out. It's a calculated risk, but how can decent, God fearing people let atrocities committed against innocent men, women, and children go on without offering a helping hand. Seems like I remember that we didn't want to get involved when Hitler was trying to take over the world. Now I don't know anything about those different religions, but they all worship God, don't they?

Many believe America is trying to impose its values on the rest of the world because we are a super power, but that is not so. During this age of terrorism and atomic weapons, even the smallest nation has the potential to be a super power. We don't bully weaker countries -- we try to protect them from those who do.

The USA has faults, but failing to stand up for human rights is not one of them. We believe that all men are created equal. Just because one happens to be born in a position of (or to assume) authority, his life is not more important in the big picture than anyone else. What is the use of carrying a BIG STICK if it's never use it to swat a snake?

Having voiced this opinion, I must also consider the other side of the coin. We put troops on the ground in Korea, Viet Nam, Afghanistan, Iraq and for the most part, the USA didn't make much difference. It is clearly obvious that Yugoslovia will accomplish their objective in spite of our intervention.

Here is something that really gets my hackles up. Folks speaking a foreign language to converse in public. Not because I care what they are saying, but it shows a serious lack of respect for their chosen country. It is a fact, all educated kids in the world can speak English, so why shouldn't they use this talent when in America?

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ...
Ya hear!!!

Duty is the sublimest word in our language. Do your duty in all things ... You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less.
-- Robert E. Lee - Historic American Civil War General.

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!

This is not of any assistance

Damn, I surely hate to be a Lowly Insect without a link in the world. It seems that even NZB is puzzled about what is going on in his Blogosphere Ecosystem. I highly suspect that such problems are the result of a misguided attack by IMAO on puppy blender.

Personal perplexions

I do sometimes wonder what it is that people like about this blog and more often regarding the purpose of this blog. I do seem to devote large parts of my time in an effort to entertain others. Hopefully I am more successful on more occasions than not.

I seem to have my head up my ass

I am so completely worn out: I may be fatigued because of the heat, have become just too addle-pated to think, or have Friday afternoon wish the weekend was already here fever, but for some reason, I have nothing all that interesting to share at the moment.

Heh! Indeed!

Could it have been said any better?

Lynn of Reflections in d minor responded to this statement that I have received numerous times in my email box:

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a mess about having "In God We Trust" on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to sit down and shut up!!!

If you say so

Hmmm, is Paul trying to tell us he is an inaniac?

French fried frogs, or some such nonsense

Julia Gorin of Fox News begins her essay entitled Let's Not Pardon the French thusly:

As many sound and revealing theories as have been proposed over the past year to explain France's confounding geopolitical behavior, they've all missed something fundamental.

Always on the opposing side of civilization and on the cutting edge of degenerateness, the French are pioneers in decadence.

Whenever the American conscience wrestles with the introduction into our society of some risqué new practice, procedure or product -- such as lowering the legal age of consent, installing condom machines in schools, approving RU-486 (search) and dispensing it in schools -- proponents always reason, "The French have been doing it for years!"

Now we know why in America, when someone accidentally uses a four-letter word in the presence of a child, he or she hastily adds, "Pardon my French."

ALSO ON FOX NEWS: Death Photos of Usay and Qusay.

Arrrrrghhhhhh!

No, this has nothing to do with pirates. I was just trying to break myself from this computer and go do something in the real world* when I happened to find myself on Sanity's Edge and ran across this blurb. Paul's prose compelled me to check out Suckful.** It seems that the blogger was a very good friend of Uday's and Qusay's and can shed a bit of light on what we do not really know about those two. I highly recommend that you do not miss reading that post.***

*Like going out and refreshing my Dr. Pepper and maybe finding something to eat. I am about 1500 calories short reaching my daily 2000 calories****.

**It is so hard to believe that someone had not snatched up that blog name ages ago, huh?

***What would that be: four paws up?

****I used to just consume a can or so of Altoids a day to ensure I got my daily requirement of calories, but we all know how that affected my teeth.*****

*****Good point to inform you that I went to the doctor today and my blood pressure was higher this time. I admitted I kept forgetting to take the pills I got last time, so now I have a weekly patch.

The things I learn (or maybe not)

One of the sites I have on my blogroll is Technically Speaking. Tony is also a frequent reader and commentor*. I read his site regularly, but wow, a geek/0 guy like me gets flabbergasted trying to consume all that technical data. This one I did understand, but cannot figure out why in the heck I needed to know it because I can think of no reason why I would want to do that. I cannot think of a single purpose for doing so. If Bill Gates and crew would only get the stuff that actually means anything working right, then I might care about knowing about this or that little goodie they added to the last OS update. You need a stable platform to build upon, and so far MS has not been able to provide that.

*I am very glad I could find a way to send a bit of linky love** his way.

**Now don't be reading anything into the use of the word love in that phrase, as it means nothing more than I wanted to show him how much appreciation I have for his readership by linking to one of his posts.***

***Just so there was no miscommunicating what I meant by that statement.****

****Just because I thought we need just one more footnote.

Episode No. 8

This is the eighth of the monthly columns my late dad wrote:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you may even agree with parts of it.

March, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

The bomb exploded many years ago and the fallout is getting worse. Nope, not the atomic bomb. I am talking about the population bomb. World inhabitation is growing at a frightening, no horrorfying rate. Worst part is, countries whose population is growing fastest are the ones who are least able to feed and care for themselves. The death rate in under developed countries is appalling, yet they keep on breeding.

A while back I heard about school girls as young as twelve wanting to have babies. That is ignorance -- plain and simple. They are still babies their own selves. Now conception in an under age girl should be the responsibility of the parents, but if parents allow even one adolescent pregancy it's time for government to step in. I say, any female who has a baby without the means to care for it should be put on birth-control, Norplant or something like that, by the state. And men over eighteen who father these babies should be prosecuted for statutory rape.

We are not to the point, like China, of regulating the number of children a couple can have, but we darn sure should regulate the teen-ager who shell out babies like pop-corn ‘cause their boyfriend doesn't want to use a condom.

Love and Sex -- they're not the same thing. Love is something acquired through association with another for a prolonged period of time. I know, there are those who claim Love at First Sight. That is bunk. Maybe lust at first sight which later turns to love. Sure, physical attraction is a key ingredient in a happy marriage, but so are friendship, respect, understanding and so much more. To my way of thinking, no one ever makes love. They have sex and if they happen to be in love, truly in love, the sex is far more rewarding. But sex is a biological drive inherent in all normal creatures. If you have ever lived on a farm you know that when a female comes in season, she goes wild for fulfilment. Heck, this is what makes the world go around. Isolate any normal male and normal female and they will breed. Be it cows, horses, goats, pigs, or humans. But, love is something else. Love is not gratification for the moment, but a lifelong commitment to someone you positively can not live without.

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ...
Ya hear!!!

There is an old saying here that a man must do three things during life: plant trees, write books and have sons. I wish they would plant more trees and write more books.
--Luis Muñoz Marin

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!Rusty Rucker No. 1 - Rusty Rucker No. 2 - Rusty Rucker No. 3 - Rusty Rucker No. 4 - Rusty Rucker No. 5 - Rusty Rucker No. 6 - Rusty Rucker No. 7 - poems.

***'s Thoughts on Written Communication

[OK, for those of you who read during the last few minutes, this is a bit strange, I am sure] The following was partially cut from the preceding post because I decided to expand significantly on the subject in which I had begun a discussion:

Susie is at work, and not all that happy about it.

So although, in general, I really like my job, in particular it sucks big fat boulders covered in lichen.

Often, when I review new bloggers, one of the things I particularly look for is writing style. However, writing style is a matter of many factors:

1. Vocabulary: Every word has a meaning. Not all of them are in the dictionary, but they still have meaning.

2. Context: Words have different meanings in oral form due to vocal inflection. Such provides hints as to one possible meaning or another. It written form, the bare word form provides no such hint as to meaning. The writer needs to provide the proper context for the word so has to provide this hint of meaning.

3. Tone: Choice of words and sentence construction can provide an essential tone to the message. Six-syllable words, acronyms and intricately crafted sentences provide a different tone than short, coarse statements.

4. Grammar: Variations of the standard are acceptable to establish mood, tone or other purpose, but consistency is essential to allow the reader to understand the meaning of the variances.

5. Punctuation: Used to control the message. Punctuation marks are like the stage directors. Stop here, pause, respond.

6. Construction: How the message is conveyed. Sentences can build up the basis for an understanding of a viewpoint. Using sentences, the message can be effectively conveyed. If necessary, they can be utilized to provide explanatory references. They are blocks: stack one atop of another to reach the next level.

As someone who enjoys both reading and writing, I never mind creativity. I lust for it. What I abhor is miscommunication. I enjoy a well written anecdote written by a housewife as much, and probably more, than I do an academic treatise by a Doctor of Philosophy. Everyone seems to have great thoughts, some very innovative styles, and most of us are eager to read your message. Make us privy to your thoughts and remember: THERE ARE NO RULES! Just stay true to yourself, and stay within your limits. IF you do not truly understand the message you are conveying, convey it differently, in a manner you truly understand.

[linkylove]If I made any errors, Susie*, please do kindly feel free to point them out.[\linkylove]

*Susie is really going to be confused about why she has a trackback to the previous post and there is nothing there trackbacking to her, isn't she?

Check your links and other minutiae

It seems Collinization has deserted blog*spot! Good move John. Change your links, ya'll.

AND, it seems that Frank is awaiting for a few more of ya'll to vote for my entry in the groveling contest. So go vote for it. I cannot tell you which one it is, but you can figure it out.

[UPDATE: I was gonna let ya'll know the voting was over but Frank I just backed up and retyped that after I saw I had typed in Frnak has already announced in the comments that I only placed in this race. Still, it pays off at 17 to 1.]

Did I really want to know this?

Anna of Primal Purge, newly blogrolled, reminds us that today is Monica Lewinski's 30th birthday. And this guy is sick.

This site does contain many references to how much I fancy Monica. I can take no responsibility for any nausea suffered by my continual love-stuck comments.

My Plea
And this is the point in the show where I succumb to desperation and try to sell myself in the dumbfounded believe [sic] that Monica (or one of her friends) will read this and contact me. We all live in hope don't we?

Why evolution has ceased in the ecosystem

NZB finally offers up some explanation as to why things have not been going as usual in the Blogosphere Ecosystem of late. No, you read it, but the dog did not eat his homework.

Goodnight John Boy!

Goodnight Susie.

By the way, all of my readers: Be sure to vote for my whatever-you-call-it over at Frank's place. I can't tell you which one it is, so just think like I think and you will figure it out.

Episode No. 7

This is the seventh of the monthly columns my late dad wrote:

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you may even agree with parts of it.

February, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Now here is something that'll blow off the top of your head.

Twenty-six years after the federal government banned it, the poisonous collar worn around a sheep's neck to kill attacking coyotes may be approved for use in Idaho.

The state departments of Agriculture and Fish and Game are endorsing the return of the livestock protection collar, which contains a small dose of compound 1080, or sodium fluoroacetate. When coyotes bite into a sheep's neck and break the collar, it releases the poison that later kills the coyote. This compound is more frightening than any poison ever conceived. Every single solitary lifeform who comes in contact with it.

Representatives of animal rights and environmental groups have appeared before House and Senate agriculture committees to oppose the collar, saying the compound could leak into the ground water, kill wildlife that feed on animal carcasses or kill humans who accidentally are exposed to it.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency banned the use of compound 1080 in 1972 after wildlife on public ranges and two dozen humans had died from ingesting it.

When they attempted to unleash this compound here in Texas - we fought HARD to stop it. You should know why. Your state might someday entertain the idea of using it. If you ever spoke out against anything in your life - that would be the time. Eagles have been killed by 1080 put out for coyotes, and California condors, which conservationists are desperately trying to save, have died from eating ground squirrels poisoned by 1080.

In 1972 President Richard Nixon signed an executive order prohibiting the use of Compound 1080, and its interstate transportation. In 1982, President Ronald Reagan, in response to an appeal from seven western senators rescinded that executive order.

Now for the icing on the cake. This poison is chemically stable. That means that a decade from now, the ground it is spilled on is toxic. It has the potential ability to kill.

This is bad stuff folks.. bad stuff. Much worse than DDT!!!!

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

As Confucius said: In a country well governed poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed wealth is something to be ashamed of.

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!

Not disapproved by a single Iranian Mullah

Well, it does seem that even Glenn Reynold's gets a blurb for leading me to this list of blogs banned in Iran. I noticed I was not on the list. I suppose I am too insignificant for the Mullahs to consider as being dangerous. If they only knew.

Can I call you HONEY? [NOT!!!]

Utoh, Glenn done got himself caught in the web of deceit. I followed that link to find this:

Site update: 07/22/2003
8:42 PM EDT

Breaking news on Kobe story!!

Photos of Accuser circulating the Internet are not accurate. They were not the real accuser according to sources from Denver who are close to the case!

Ok, so it's an old photo and an old joke... I hope you got at least a chuckle out of the joke!

I've removed all images related to the Kobe story because... as I've always said... the photos were unconfirmed and just a rumor, and I want to remind everyone that UselessJunk.com is an entertainment site, not a new source! As such, I'm going to withdraw my association with the story and let the facts be heard. Whether Kobe is guilty or innocent, it's not my decision, and I'll let the jury in a court of law "make the call".

I'm not removing the content because I've been forced to, and I haven't been contacted by lawyers or the DA, however, I have been contacted by several TV and Radio stations. I've declined to do any interviews until now.

Media Inquiries: press@uselessjunk.com

Will I every figure it out?

Jeez, did I ever frag my template. I never know exactly what I did wrong, but you can bet I put a [div] tag or a [\div] tag somewhere where it was not supposed to be. Anyway, I had to go back and get the default template and paste it in and then redo my side panel all over again. I think I got it back in line. I am sure it is a bit different, but not that much different than it was. If you came while I was working on it, sorry for the construction mess. You can now go continue what you were doing before. Thank you for your attention.

Did I mention it was all michele's fault? She gave me something to display in the Hit Parade and I fragged the template when I added it. The link* doesn't really have anything to do with this, but if I didn't send the trackback, she would have likely not seen this. I think my link is still on her porn list.

[UPDATE: Yikes, I didn't fix the template so it would put my categories before the titles, and I forgot the code again. Sheesh!]

*Although I definitely agree with her viewpoint, I think. Now just who is Courtney Love?

I am #1 and don't wanna be!

I am now #1 on Google for michael jackson bankrupt. I am so surprised it is such a popular search.

Is Hydrogen the answer for future energy?

Jane Galt of Asymmetrical Information was asking a few questions about converting cars for hydrogen fuel usage. Those questions launched a full scale discussion in the comments about all kinds of stuff about wind power, solar energy, problems with using hydrogen, global warming, etc. It is definitely getting interesting.

Can you beat a pair of aces?

Well, last thing Glenn reported was that Reuters says Uday and Qusay had been located. According to CNN.com, they are confirmed to have been "killed during a dramatic four-hour battle in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul."*

Now, hopefully Saddam will be easy to locate. Surely he will attend the funeral.

[UPDATE: Ravenwood claims to have a better hand, citing Scrappleface's take on the story. Meanwhile, you can find a transcript of Donald Rumsfeld's Press Conference over at Little Tiny Lies. However, while it was likely the intent of Scrappleface and Little Tiny Lies to poke fun at the situation, the absolutely funniest thing to come out of the story is this serious statement on Counterspin Central:

I believe we have been tracking the two brothers for some time, and were waiting for an opportune moment to take them out.

You know...like when Bush's approval ratings started to get uncomfortably close to the South side of 50%.

*From my run through the updated sites in my blogroll, it seems the blogosphere has already gotten the news.

**You must have hidden that link well. I haven't been able to locate it.

Snacks for the midnight munchies

Just one more time before I go to bed, I wanted to saunter through my blogroll and see what goodies were posted while I was entertaining some neighborhood kids by allowing them to sit with me in the living room and watch ET.

Now, this one is another long post, but somehow was so engaging that it forced me to continually stroll until I finished it. TwoDragons aka Denita of Who Tends the Fires has penned Mama TeeVee and the Invisible Toilet Paper Thieves: a very enlightening view into the rest of her family who envisions awakening in the Mad Max world at every disaster. It held my rapt attention to the very end.

Pixy Misa proves once again that he has more bizarre thoughts than my brain can ever come up with. Has he been listening to Weird Al again?

James over at Parkway Rest Stop provides substantial indications that the Governor of New Jersey is in the pockets of the International Longshoremen’s Association. Hmmm, still haven't made his blogroll.

It seems that Erica at Sperari has run out of things to ask for.

Deb Yoder, the Accidental Jedi has noted a couple of my posts for today, as well as posts from several other blogs that I have overlooked. I think I might take a gander at some of them, so you feel free to drop over to see her list after you have run through mine. Anyone but me like to see Deb do one daily posting about something in Yoda-speak?

Uh, last thing to mention: I was about to rag Susie for having completely overlooked me tonight when I discovered I had come in under the wire. She actually thanked me for linking her to John Collins fantastic post I mentioned previously. I do not mind taking another opportunity to urge you to read it, it is very poignant, as John can be with his thoughts and prose, but also so emotional and inspirational in its portrayal of first person events surrounding tragic circumstances.

I am sure I missed someone. Sorry. Oh, wait ... I didn't even check to see what Glenn Reynolds evil catchphrase of the day had posted, if you were wondering. [evil maniacal laugh*]

[UPDATE: I would be so remiss if I didn't mention Kevin the WizBang for hosting this week's Bonfire of Vanities, in which I entered this post.]

*Yeah, like that was ever gonna happen.

Episode No. 6

This is the sixth of the monthly columns my late dad wrote: By this time, the column was renamed "Behind the Chicken Shack" and sported a graphic logo, which is not shown in this entry.

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you may even agree with parts of it.

January, 1999 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

t'other day and I got to thinking. I am blamed sure lucky to live out cheer among the rattlesnakes and coyotes, away from the hate and killing and cheating in the cities. Of all these things, racism is the most savage. It is tearing our nation apart. Pity folks are so blamed wrapped up in their own-selves they forget to be compassionate towards other human beings.

I remember when I was a lad and I went into the bus station with my Dad. The first thing I spied was a drinking fountain with a large, hand painted sigh that read: "White Only." I asked Dad what that meant and he ‘splained that there are a heap of ignorant people who think what color a man is a measure of what is in his heart. "T'aint so a'tall", Pa reckoned. He never spoke much good English, but he had a site of good old common horse sense.

In the summertime we bailed hay for the public. Not many folks had greenback dollars to pay so they gave us part of the hay, which we hauled home and stored in the barn loft against hard times. Those came regular ever winter and folks from town would come out and buy the hay for twenty-five cents a bale, to feed their milk cow. In them days we didn't have pasturized and homogonized milk, but it was blame sure fresh.

One of my jobs after I got old ‘nuff, maybe ten or ‘leven, was to take a team of horses to some far off field and mow hay. I'll tell ya, a boy has plenty of time for thinkin' out there all alone. One day while I wuz nearly hypnotized from watching the tall oats, mixed liberally with Johnson grass, fall back in splendid green waves when the sickle sliced it off an inch or two above the earth, I got to thinking about something that had happened that morning. None of the hay hands had any conveyance so Papa ‘n me gathered ‘em up in our old homemade pickup truck. We stopped for a new guy that morning and he looked in back, nodded at Zeke and said, "What's he doing here?"

"Gonna work like the rest of us," Pa said casting over his shoulder.

"I ain't working with no damn N

Posted by Tiger at 11:18 PM | Comments (0)

Helloooo ooooooooo

Am I the only one reading Cherry? Come on ya'll, she just getting her feet wet in the blogging game. Give her a bit of encouragement.

How soon we forget those milestones

Laughing Wolf reminded us a day late that July 20th was the anniversary of the first time a man walked on the moon. I was 11 and I couldn't understand why all the adults were so awed by the event. I grew up in the Mercury days, so the event was not anything remarkable to me, it was something that eventually happened. Given Apollo 13, the Challenger explosion and the Columbia disaster, the events of July 20, 1969 are much more remarkable to me now than they were when they occurred. I am still hopeful to see a man walk on Mars before I die. When I was 11, I foresaw it having already occurred.

Maybe Reader's Digest will condense this

I read about the first four paragraphs of this U.S.Clueless post and really liked what I was reading, but I have BAD* and I just can't scroll that much while reading. If someone is able to synopsize it into three paragraphs, let me know.

*Blogger's Attention Deficiency

Exclusive: Bill invites people to bite him

Bill posted the most delightful piece of food art I have seen in the blogosphere, and said if you didn't like it, you could bite him. As unappetizing* as Bill made his creation sound, you could bet I would come a lot closer to biting any part of it than any part of him.

*I was right the first time, but I looked it up just to be sure. That word just looks funny, doesn't it? I forgot to check, but it probably comes from something French

I guess it did help to be there

The first time I saw any of John's stuff, I wrote this:

4.5~Collinization: Life tells me, 'Grab your ankles!' ~It's on blog*spot and it is a post about his personal situation. Mostly, especially when they are much younger than I, I have very little interest in reading about the goings on in the daily lives of people, but I found this post to be very humorous, and wanted to see how the rest of the blog looked. I liked it. I think I will blogroll it. I even emailed him and told him how to get comments on his blog, because he asked, and because after the day he had that is described in the entry post, I felt like doing something nice for him.

Oh, how I hate Mondays

Don't ya just hate Mondays? I spent almost all day attempting to download my email, but for some reason, my connection decided today was another day to connect and disconnect almost all day. It is so weird that one little thing like that will put a damper on your whole day, but I have gotten to the point on where I rely upon email as a major form of my daily communication from some of my clients. If I am unable to download my email, I cannot seem to do anything else.

That is how my whole day was spent today, trying to get those 28 messages to download. How did I know what I had? Well, my ICQ at home tells me what I have waiting on my server, that is how. I do not generally respond to any of it when I am at home unless it is an emergency. I found that when I download certain stuff at home and certain stuff at the office, I would always find I needed it at the place other than where it was. As such, I now only download my email at the office. If it is necessary to read it (ICQ does not always show the whole message) then I use webmail for home reading and responding.

Oh heck, who the hell cared about any of the above anyway? Talk about being inane? Something that boring would put me to right to sleep. OK, YOU CAN WAKE UP NOW!!!!!!

I suspected as much

Yes, I was almost sure my friend Cherry would at least give blogging a try at some time. She has. I can only see great things coming from her venture into the blogosphere.

Update: Cherry says I need to change my tagline to:

tied to the world solely by a low-band connection through a third-world phone company, using only a mere wooden spoon, one man simply seeks to stir

It took them long enough to respond

In an entry on May 4th, I said:

I lament election after election because I feel I am not given a "real" choice at the ballot box. By the time the primary roles around, the candidates left on the ballot have already been trimmed to those select indivisuals who had enough big money support to think they had a viable chance of succeeding to the next level. I am always wondering who is pulling their strings, who is going to benefit most from their election, and what kind of benefit do the big money investors hope to gain in exchange for their contributions. Are we actually voting for the Jeffersons and Hamiltons and Adamses of the new century or are we being spoon fed a selected slate of hand-picked "yes men" to do the bidding of special interests?

attribution: Drumwaster

As if anyone really cares

Have you ever been going to the same blog day after day because of links on other blogs and yet never got around to blogrolling that blog? Well, I cannot describe how many times I have read posts on a small victory and have intended to blogroll it and have forgotten for one reason or another. Anyway, that situation has been rectified. After all, michelle michele does have the absolutely best logo graphic of any blogger in the blogosphere, doesn't she?

I also had run across Ramblings of SilverBlue enough times chasing links that it also merited blogrolling.

Episode No. 5

Is anyone reading any of these entries? I know OLDCATMAN has perused them at least once. These are my dead dad's writings that I recovered using Internet Archive Wayback Machine. I was hopeful, even though they were a bit old, that some of ya'll might want to see some of my dad's efforts before he died. This one was done in December of 1998, and as such, has a Christmas theme:

Formatted as originally published in centered form:

THE REUNION

A Christmas Story by Rusty Rucker

A chilling north wind swept across the plains with a vergence,
Snatching Autumn leaves from the trees,
And leaving an earth covering blanker of white n its wake.
It attacked the Ozarks in a rage,
Battering its way through the pines,
And gaining momentum with every mile.
At the mountain's crest it paused momentarily,
Gathered its fury and swooped does the clearing
toward a little two room log cabin.
With Icy fingers,
It resumed the battle of forty years,
to wrest a weathered screen door from its sagging hinges.

The door, proudly bought and installed by a caring son
who had grown tired of hearing his mother complain
about flies in the kitchen,
was now of little worth.
Its hook-latch long since had been ripped away,
leaving only a ragged hole in the wood
and a bent eyelet screwed into the jam as proof it ever existed.
The wire mesh,
rusty and full of holes,
clung desperately to the rotting frame.
Yet, the door hung onto the time worn hinges with stubborn resolve,
determined to once again defend its position against
this new onslaught from the North.

As the mounting wind pulled the screen open and banged it shut,
Time and time again,
the old man's eyes fluttered open and he sat upright
in his cane bottomed rocker.
His hair, white with age,
flowed down over his stooped and bony shoulders.
His beard, equally white, was every bit as long.

"That you, Sarry," He called,
his voice only slightly louder than a whisper.
"Seems a mite chilly in here.
Reckon I'd better stir up a fire?"

He remained seated, awaiting her reply,
until the fog of senility lifted partially from his head,
and realization began to creep back in.
Sarah was no longer with him.
She is buried out there on the side of the hill,
beneath the towering pines she'd loved so well.

For several minutes, he relaxed in his chair,
staring across at the identical one
that had belonged to his beloved wife,
and tried to recall where she had gone.
But his mind, like the rest of his 93 year old body,
had withered with time,
and refused to remember the unpleasant details of her departure.

How he awoke one morning last spring,
to find her still and cold beside him.
How he sat at the bedside,
holding her hand and weeping for 2 days,
taking neither food nor drink the whole time.

Except for Slim McCoy and his wife,
He would have gone with her then and there.
But Slim happened by, as he often did,
and took charge of the situation.

He lifted the old man and carried him to his chair.
Then made a pot of coffee and poured a cupful down him,
a sip at a time, while a slab of ham,
cut from the one he had just brought
fried in a blackened iron skillet.

When the old man had been nourished,
Slim ran the two miles to his own cabin,
to fetch his wife, Molly.
While she prepared the old woman's body
Slim dug a shallow grave.
There were not any boards to make a coffin
so they wrapped her lifeless form in a square of canvas tarpaulin
and laid her to rest,
Saying a few kind words over her grave.

Rising from his chair,
the old man stepped on the tail of his old yellow hound,
sleeping at his feet,
but the dog,
now more than twelve himself,
didn't bother to yelp,
the weight of his withered master being so slight.
Not raising his head,
the dog followed the old man with his eyes,
As he waddled to the door,
Opened it,
and stood listening for several minutes,
paying little heed to the biting chill of frigid wind.

"Can't hear that dad burned jeep a-tall, Sheb,"
he said to the hound dog.
The dog wagged his tail slightly,
to acknowledge his name,
but didn't show any concern
for what his aged master was saying.
"Reckon Jim's toooken up with one of them town gals again.
He's apt to be gone three, four days."

It taxed the old mans strength to shut the door against the wind,
but he finally managed.
Once closed and bolted,
he ambled across the dirt floor to the fireplace,
And stood looking at it as if wondering
what purpose had brought him there.
Starring at the cold ashes with uncertainty,
he hesitated,
forcing enough memory through the cobwebs in his brain
to bring forth the action necessary for starting a fire.

Occasionally he would waken with full rationalization
of his surroundings,
and remain lucid for several days,
Then slip back into the dream world of years gone by,
but those times were becoming less and less frequent
with every passing day.

Only the loving attention of his hill-billy neighbor,
Slim McCoy, had gotten him through the summer.
The ever present ham,
side of bacon,
or occasionally venison,
hanging in the smokehouse.
The potato bin that never became empty.
The woodpile that remained constant,
no mater how much was burned.
Now and then, a pot of stew on the table.
All could be credited to Slim and his wife,
going out of their way to look after an old friend.

After laying a fire with the practiced skill of many years,
he stood before it, warming his behind
while searching the room with misty blue eyes.
Spotting a rolled up newspaper he hobbled over,
picked it up and headed for the door.

The hound, watching his every move,
knew what the paper meant,
and got up to follow his master outside.

With slow deliberation,
The old man walked the fifty feet of time worn path,
to a rundown outhouse and stepped inside.
The door with its crescent moon opening,
so carefully carved in his youth,
Had long ago been pulled from it's hinges,
and tumbled by the wind into oblivion.

Removing from his shoulders,
the galluses of patched and faded overalls
he perched upon the polished hole and sat,
looking out across the hillside.
A lone snowflake sailed around the corned and settled,
gently on the back of his leathery hand.

"Hit's gonna snow, sure as you're a pup," he told Sheb,
who was sitting patiently outside the doorway,
waiting for the old man to do his business
so they could return to the warmth of the cabin.
"Hit'll be knee-deep by morning.
Lord knows when Jim will be able to get home
with them supplies."

When the old man arose,
The dog, Half trotting,
Hurried back down the path,
waiting until he was nearly to the door
before heisting his leg against a tree.
Only then did he notice the old man was not following,
but had turned aside and begun climbing
in the direction of Sarah's final resting place.

It was laborious toil to negotiate the steep hillside,
but he persisted,
stopping several times to rest,
before reaching the grave.
As he approached, the snowfall increased.
The wind driven flakes kept biting into his face,
making it harder to locate the limestone marker
Slim McCoy had painted and set atop the mound of earth.

The aged hound, loyal to the end,
was slowly trailing the old man's tracks
through the ever increasing storm.
Just as he reached his master's side,
the old man knelt before the stone and wiped the snow away
so he could read the epitaph painstaking painted by Slim McCoy.

"HERE LIES SARAH ADKINS.
Her wealth was boundless because she had contentment."

Tears flowed freely from his clear blue eyes as he stayed there,
headless of time or the rapidly dropping temperature.
The dog sitting along side,
looked toward the shack occasionally and whined,
begging his master to return to the warm shelter,
but not offering to leave without him.

Finally, he stood, using the hound's head to steady himself,
and started back in the direction of the hut.
The dog followed closely at his heals.
At the door, he waited, holding it ajar for the aged hound,
after listening again for the jeep,
he closed and fastened it.
Sheb, wasting no time looking for someone he didn't expect to see,
had already stretched out before the fire,
as the old man dragged his chair close beside him.
There they dosed together,
the old man looking toward the table,
as if hoping that somehow a meal would appear upon it,
but not once did he consider putting forth the effort
to get up and prepare something.

"Don't you bother with fixin' t'night Sarry," he said,
never taking his eyes from the flickering flames.
"Likely Jim will make it through before the storm gets bad
and fetch us a big pot of hot stew."
He rocked to and fro with a smile of satisfaction,
listening to the rungs of his chair creak in their sockets.
The hound got up,
circled around and laid back down, turning his opposite side to the fire.
"No Sarry, don't be frettin' about Jim.
He done worked hard for two summers in that there saw mill,
and saved his money to buy his old jeep.
He's old enough to look out for his own self now."

He dosed again,
waking with a start when a gust of snarling wind caught the screen door
and banged it harder.
"That you Jim boy? Did you bring me and Ma a pot of hot stew?"

And so it continued through the night.
The fire burned down and the cabin grew cold.
The old dog rested peacefully at his master's side,
while the old man drifted in and out of awareness,
talking to a wife who had been dead six months,
and watching and waiting for the son who went to town forth years ago
and never returned.

After saying the only prayer he knew over the old man's grave,
Slim McCoy joined his wife in song,
Though only a little past noon,
"Silent Night" echoed through the hills.
Tying a rope lead around the dog's neck Slim said,
"C'mon, Sheb," You will live with us now.
Him and Sarah will enjoy Christmas together,
and who knows,
Maybe Jim is there with ‘em."

Thanks for the ride. Y'all come back now ... Ya hear!!!

The Susan Smith madness continues

It seems that James at OTB is remarking on the efforts of Susan Smith to find pen pals via the Internet, upon which I previously reported here. Quips James:

Wow. So, she kills two kids, is allowed to place personal ads from her prison cell, and gets more hits than Glenn Reynolds. We live in a mad, mad, mad, mad world, folks.

Can Iraq support democracy?

Howard [ORACULATIONS] penned a great analysis of the history of Iraq and whether democracy was the right answer for governing the Iraqi culture.

The big question for us right now is: How can Iraq embrace what they know nothing about? How can they embrace "democracy"? Especially since autocratic systems produced one of the greatest and most creative civilizations in the History of the World.

Internet Oddities

I seem to be coming up #12 on an MSN search on filthy lingerie

I didn't even get a link on the first 5 pages on a Google search for the same terms, and did not find a link to my story on the first five pages on my favorite search engine: alltheweb.

I guess those web crawling spiders are peculiar little beasts, huh?

UPDATE: I am #3 on a listing on the Google search for easy answer

"Red Green would be proud!"

Susie said that about this pic posted by Silver Blue.

Episode No. 4

Here is my dad's fourth monthly column of those I was able to save:

Thoughts from the Country by Rusty Rucker

Old Rusty lives way back in the boonies with a couple of hound dogs and one lazy ole mule. With nothing to do all day except whittle and listen to the radio, he gets some off-the-wall ideas about our political structure and its impact on our daily lives. Maybe you will get a chuckle out of some of the stuff he has come up with, and who knows, you may even agree with parts of it.

November, 1998 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Now here is a touchy subject -- or to be more precise, an untouchy subject. When I was a lad in school my teacher was like a second mother. Since I wasn't blessed with a real mother past my third birthday because of divorce, she was a very important roll model in my early years. Then there was Mrs. Sutter, where I stopped almost every day to talk and maybe get a cookie or piece of fruit.

"What am I getting at?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you. We are over protective of our children. Sure they need to be taught not to get into cars with strangers and to immediately report any inappropriate conduct to a person of authority, but they shouldn't be taught that all friendly people are out to molest them.

Some little kids are so starved for affection they will take unnecessary risks to get what should be readily available from a teacher. The hugs kids used to get from their teachers were often the only show of tenderness they got all day.

There are Big Brother and Big Sister programs who solicit volunteers to be mentors to our youths. How ridiculous to forbid a teacher from hugging (or even touching) a child in his/her classroom when we are perfectly willing for the same youngster to spend private time with another person who has no higher credentials. Devilment can pop out from anywhere and we should all be alert to any potential danger. It really does take an entire cummunity to raise a child.

The sun can possibly cause skin cancer because it touches our skin, but we cover ourselves with lotion and play in it anyway. The comfort and joy derived form it's warmth makes us ready to take the risk.

Yes, there are perverts our there...always have been...always will be... But, there are also those who are just nice, good, friendly people that love kids and would die to protect one from harm. The second being more often than not. Undue fear is a negative energy that serves no positive purpose.

What y'all think about taking arms and legs and hearts and kidneys from the dead and giving them to the living? Seems like a good idea to me. A fatality comes only once in a lifetime and it's the last chance a person has to contribute to society and make death count for something worthwhile.

NEVER FORGET -- Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING!

***'s tracks through the early morning

Jeff Trigg has been quoted by the Chicago Daily Herald.

Thanks Jeff for sharing your news with us.

Lynn S [Reflections in d minor] has hit a snag in exhibiting her tag.

James at OTB found Dennis Miller on WSJ giving us the inside scoop on Jerry Pringer's chances of gaining the Ohio Senate seat. James quoted the best parts, but I really loved this bit:

[H]ow many times have I been walking through the parking lot of a laundromat and seen two obese women in halter tops slap fighting and thought, Wow . . . I wonder what the back story is on that?

Scott Chaffin laments that the Texas Rangers still have a penchant for trading good players for damaged merchandise. I just wonder if there really are enough pitchers to go around?

A Gaggle of Girls is now Absinthe & Cookies. The link is the same, just name has been changed to reflect the whims of Ith. The title graphic takes ages to load on my no-bandwidth connection.

I had not visited Erica at Sperari: Taking 20 and had missed her asking for opinions about her upcoming haircut. A lot of others had alrady provided their two cents, so she probably had gathered enough to pay the barber for whatever type of style upon which she eventually decided.

Lastly but not least, Maripat says we need to do more for our soldiers and Lori says we need to be doing less for our prisoners.

Just stand back & wonder

McGehee points to a story in one of his local newspapers about a situation so bizarre it is almost unbelievable.

The culprits, three young girls and a boy ages 9,8,6 and 4, destroyed every room in the house leaving a cleanup and replacement bill of around $30,000.

1. How did a 10-year-old get access to a handgun?
2. Where did he get the idea of doing a stick up? and
3. Who had the responsibility for supervising the kid?

Jen has some good advice

She advises that Billy Graham has found the way to ensure that he is never tempted to commit adultery.

Dregs dug up from deep places

I never liked Mr. Bean, but our local PBS affilliate showed two episodes of an animated series they are selling. I liked the animated version much better.

Then came The Red Green Show which is one of my favs. If the women don't find you handsome, at least let 'em find you handy. And, of course, every nights Men's prayer at the Possum Lodge:

I am a man . . . . And I can change . . . . . If I have to . . . . . .I guess

And then, being the inaniac that I am, while Red Green was playing on my TV, I was thinking of what I actually learned from watching Easy Rider. I finally concluded that its moral was Do not travel on two-lane highways in rural Louisiana.

Now I reflect that it is probably not too safe to travel on two-lane highways in rural Texas either. Can you believe that they are really remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Well, I guess if they could remake Willard, it wasn't that much farther to sink to the appropriate level.

This was too funny!

Susie said:

#1 Frank, what were you thinking????? Everyone has to VOTE AGAIN???????

Wait. I forgot. You live in Florida.....

Episode No. 3

Here is my dad's third monthly column of those I was able to save:

October, 1998 Updated regularly -- Totally new first of every month.

Heard about where this feller what has been in jail twenty-two years for rape and murder of a thirteen year old says he is rehabilitated now and wants out. Not sure he should go free after committing such a heinous crime, but if it wuz me, I'd consider it soon as he un-rapes the little girl and brings her back to life.
Seems our society is so hung up on being kind to monsters and sickies they forget about the victims. Were I to have my way, we would reinstate hanging on the Courthouse lawn and leave them dangle all day and night so the punks and thugs could see first hand what awaits 'em after they do their rotten deed. Shore, hit would be a revolting sight for little nine year old Johnny to see, but when he gets to be fourteen and decided to act out, maybe he will think twice -- or three times.

I been studyin' 'bout all the pills and ointment being sold now-a-days and the unsupported claims they make. One that raises my hackles a heap is when they allude that it is doctor recommended. Lots and lots of 'em do that, but some go way too far. Like the guys that says, "Maybe I should see a doctor" then tells us the guy what gave him the pill said, "You just did." Or the little girl who tell us, "My Mommy says to always use -- so and so, and she's a doctor." Don't see much truth in that advertising. When a real honest-to-gosh doctor, like Red Duke stands up and says somethng is good or bad -- it's different. First hand info; we should believe that.

And vitamins: Now they are selling pills we never heard of and don't even have a clue what they are supposed to be good for. Heard one advertised t'other day that claimed to "Keep life in prospective." Now gosh-amity, what is that all about? 'Nother one said, "it makes your veins strong and flexible, plus ......"
And even the stuff we know is good for us. There is not one whit of proof we are getting the product we pay for. This feller told me he has prostate trouble and heard that the juice from some little berries (saw palminto) would help. Well, he bought some and it worked real good, but the blamed stuff costed like the dickens. So he found another brand what wuz a whole lot cheaper and bought that. Not only was it ineffective, but it was tablets, not the gel capsules. Heck, they weren't no juice in them. If they had ever been near a saw palminto plant, it was ground up stalk. S'pose it was lawful anyhow, but it were fraud -- plain and simple.

The food supplement business has gone hog wild. With no regulations to stop them, unscrupulous makers can package anything and say it does whatever and sell it. Notice all the weird concoctions being advertised now days. Where is that Ralph Nader feller? We need him.....

--Special Election Addendum:

With election time growing nigh, maybe we should give some thought about who to vote for -- now that’s a pretty hard choice since all the candidates claim to be honest and assure us their opponent is the scum of the earth. Well, since they are all honest, we must assume they are telling the truth about the opponent and he/she is telling truth about them. That being the case, they are all lying, cheating, selfserving thieves who deserve to be tarred and feathered and rode out of town on a rail.

Ok.... so we’ll forget what they are saying about each other and focus on the campaign promises. Every last one says he/she is going to make more money available for kids education, special programs, health needs etc. So in that area everyone is still equal. How about taxes.... Try to think of a single politician you have ever heard say, “Soon as I’m elected, I will raise taxes.” Never happened -- never will. They all promise to lower taxes. Then there is Social Security. Only by voting for the one making the promise can we be assured that Social Security will continue as we know it. Land sakes, we’re still even. Looks like they are all perfect for the job. Something for all everybody. Better education of our young -- lower taxes for the middle class -- and protection of Social Security for the aged.

So what are our options for making a wise decision? Vote for the best looking ones and improve the looks of government. Vote for the incumbent cause he has already been in there forever and knows the system and how to get what we need out of it. Vote for the new feller so we can get some fresh blood and modern thinking in office. Vote for the riches ones cause they already have so much money they will be less inclined to steal. Vote for the poor ones cause they must be honest, otherwise they’d be rich.

Then there are those who vote straight tickets no matter who is running. But the rest of us listen and study and think and decide who among the choices we want least, and then when we get in the polling booth we forget most of them and wind up just voting helter-skelter. It’s a wonder government even survives -- but somehow it does.

One of my hounds caught a jack rabbit a while ago, so we're gonna celebrate with rabbit stew t'nite. Come over and join us if you can.

If you like this one, Rusty Rucker No. 1 is here, Rusty Rucker No. 2 is here and the assorted poems I recovered are here.

It is a bit early for hibernation

I have noticed that the Blogosphere Ecosystem has not been updated since the 16th, or at least not according to the data on my blog. I am hopeful NZB is doing OK. I noticed there has not been any new postings on his blog since the 16th either.

No New Weblog Review

I decided not to do a review of the entries in this week's The Truth Laid Bear's New Webblog Showcase. Mostly I was a bit perturbed that some of the entries that were submitted prior to last week's deadline and were reviewed, are also among those appearing in this week's listings. As the contest forum has gotten a bit erratic, and I am not sure as to the reasons why NZB has not been up to speed with all the various facets of his site, but for some reason, the bug to review the entries just did not bite me. I am sorry for those who look forward to such. However, I will willingly allow you to review them for yourselves. Utilizing NZB's cut and paste HTML, I hereby submit the following as a list of the links to this week's entries:

Sarcastic Southerner: Dean's Hypocrisy
JustCron Report: JustCron Report
Passenger Pachyderms: The News on Tape
One Little Victory: The Killing Urge
The Usurer: For want of a fly-swat
Angry Liberal: Tucker Eats His Shoes
Wince and Nod: Are You A Dung Beetle, Too?
the Federal Examiner: Why Not Tenet?
American Digest: The Sunday New York Times Lite
Sadly, No!: Only 16 words you say?
Interested-Participant: Senator Lieberman and Elmer Fudd
RobMorris.NET featuring Baby Morgan: Episode 1
dr.mani's remarkably purple spots...: an experiment in selfishness
The Poison Kitchen: Now It Can Be Told: Saddam's Secret Weapons
Angry Liberal: Tucker Eats His Shoes
Howard Lovy's NanoBot: The Hulk, Prince Charles and other scary things
In Sheeps Clothing: Liberty

The fiction writing contest update I

Well, I am seeing there is some interest in having a fiction writing contest. Of course, I am sure there are a few rules on the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest that we surely need to change. For one, I am not wanting to write mine on a postcard and sending it in by snailmail and I am surely hoping that we all come to the conclusion that waiting until April 15, 2004 is a bit long to see what people submitted. Here are the proposed rules:

• Each entry must consist of a single sentence.
• Sentences may be of any length (though you go beyond 50 or 60 words at your peril), and entrants may submit more than one, but all entries must be original and previously unpublished.
• Entries are to be submitted by Midnight July 26.
• Entries are to be emailed, with writer's blog URL, to TRRcontest[at]msn.com [this email address was created for that single purpose].
• All entries must be fiction, but may be based in any genre

All entries will be posted here on ***: Raggin' & Rantin' on July 27 in anonymous format for judging. I will be attempting to locate three quality judges to do the judging.

However, that said and done, as the contest has not officially begun, I am willing to listen to other suggestions.

Posted by Tiger at 08:46 PM | Comments (1)

Friday jokes from Cherry*

Hey, I didn't write these, so don't send me hate mail if you are blonde. If you are blonde and take offense at blonde jokes, everywhere it says blonde, change that to Aggie. Aggies are too stupid** to take offense at jokes about themselves.

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain the same size as my computer screen." The surprised salesman replied: "But, madam, computers do not have curtains!!" ....and the blonde said: "Helloooo....? I've got Windows!!"

A blonde is swerving down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says, "You have to take a Breathalyser test." The blonde says, "I can't. I have asthma, and it'll start me on a coughing fit." The cop says, "Then I have to give you a blood test." The blonde says, "You can't. I'm a haemophiliac, and if you stick a needle in me, I'll bleed all over the place." The cops says, "Then you have to get out of the car and walk a straight line." The blonde says, "I can't." The cop says, "Why not?" The blonde says, "Because I'm drunk. Didn't you see the way I was driving!"

*Cherry mentioned to me that I have been giving her all the credit for the work her dad does in gathering the jokes for those on his email list. I said I would be more than glad to link to him, so she gave me his email address. I decided not to publish it, but any of you who would like to get a list of good jokes once a week without forwarding carets, email me and I will be glad to pass along his email address. However, THANKS CHERRY'S DAD!

**Not really, it is just a tradition in Texas that it is OK to claim that Aggies are stupid. The Aggies really do not seem to mind, just the same way that almost all attorneys I know think all the attorney jokes are about all those other attorneys.

It is so easy to understand

Everyone is talking about Tony Blair's speech to Congress.* The absolute best comments come from today's Bleat:

When I hear a speech like Blair’s, I have to check the calendar. And the calendar is usually wrong. It may say 2/23, or 7/16, or 4/30. But I know what the date is, and the date is 9/12. It’s going to be 9/12 for a long time to come.

*Thanks to annika for this link.

Spoken like a true woman

Spending money always makes me feel better. annika

Fiction writing contest

Third Hand's Kathy Kinsley pointed me to this fiction writing contest.The rules to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest are childishly simple:

• Each entry must consist of a single sentence.
• Sentences may be of any length (though you go beyond 50 or 60 words at your peril), and entrants may submit more than one, but all entries must be original and previously unpublished.
• Entries should be submitted on index cards, the sentence on one side and the entrant's name, address, and phone number on the other..
• Entries will be judged by categories, from "general" to detective, western, science fiction, romance, and so on. There will be overall winners as well as category winners..
• The deadline is April 15 (a date Americans associate with painful submissions and making up bad stories).

Defining the times or the terms or something

SilverBlue has defined some of the terms being used on the blogosphere, like fisking. I did not see my coined term among the definitions, and now that you all have begun to love the term, I do suppose you are all entitled to know the meaning of the term inaniac. An inaniac is a blogger or other writer who is able to take a serious look at things and point out the interesting unimportant matters.

I confess to being an INANIAC. How about you? Are you ready to come out of the electronic ether and proclaim your alliegance to the INANIAC SOCIETY?

The Internet BB*

In noting the end of Evaporation, Linda at wordfetish [July 8 you are getting sleeeepy] reminisced about the beginnings of her association with others like us:

As some of you know, X-number of years ago blogs did not exist. Instead, the personal-expression site format of choice was something that came to be known as the 'online journal.' [long humorous parenthetical interlude deleted.]

I know it's hard to fathom now, the web having grown exponentially** in a relatively few years, but at the time there were few enough people similarly engaged that pretty much the whole scene could be fairly easily observed, assessed, and prioritized accordingly. It wasn't like it is now, with a gazillion blogs, many of which seem to exist only in order to echo each other's mediocrity. Nope, there were only a hundred or so online journals, many of which seemed to exist only in order to echo each other's mediocrity. [emphasis supplied]

*BB: Before Blogging

**expressible or approximately expressible by an exponential function; especially : characterized by or being an extremely rapid increase (as in size or extent)

Woohoo! I am #1

Yes, I am the TOP POSSUM in the Blogosphere Ecosystem* this morning.

*I would hate to jump up too far over one night as I might never find myself again.

Episode No. 2

Another of my departed father's columns I recently recovered. Originally posted September 1998

THOUGHTS FROM THE COUNTRY By Rusty Rucker

Heard t’other day ‘bout the big controversy over, let’s see, I s’pose they wanna be call gays now, getting’ married. In my youth homosexuals were fags and queers, now they have alternative life styles. I wonder if any “straight” folks ever stop to think about what those “alternative life styles” consist of. Disgusting assaults each other's behind that make me wanna puke -- and now they want to marry so they can have the benefits of family life. Well, I’ll tell you, consenting adults may have the right to do anything they please, but keep the door shut. Don't be rubbing it in my face .....

Marriage is sanctioned by society to support family values -- to create a stable environment for little kids to grow up in. Sure, we as civilized people want those little ones to have every opportunity possible and that is why we allow tax breaks and other benefits so married couples can afford to raise their young. It is a travesty to presume that two men or women who choose to live together should have the benefits of a decent couple raising a family. Let thendo their unspeakable things if they must, but we should not sanction it -- EVER. Seems like McClintock has a mission to further gay-rights (whatever they are). Guess that’s understandable when we consider his liberal preferences.

On the subject of “The White House Affair” I have to believe this whole Kenneth Starr thing is a witch hunt to discredit the President. How is it that an investigation of alleged Whitewater misdeeds has circled ‘round the barn into what a man does behind closed doors. Everyone knows JFK fooled around, as did FDR and Ike, Churchill and Prince Charles. Even King David did the unspeakable, sending Batstheba’s husband into battle so he could have his wife. Yep! Little David, the giant killer. It’s like Hollywood -- people in power have to feed their ego. I say the office is disgraced by the media feeding off the Starr investigation and by nothing the man in the big White House did. Strange we are so quick to condemn a man for denying events in his private life, but when President Brush stood before us and declared, “Read My Lips, no new taxes” we were willing to accept that lie as political rhetoric. BS --

Thanks for the ride.

Y'all come back now. Ya hear?

Rusty Rucker No. 1 is here and the assorted poems I recovered are here.

Curiouser and curiouser, the plot thickens

It is such a good thing I stayed up waiting for Susie to provide some late night snacks or I would likely have overlooked this excellent gag by our own Wizbang [techie for genius, I think] Kevin. However, the egg seems to be on Frank, as it appears Liberal Assclown is up to speed on the electronic espionage scheme.

A Pixy was mixed up in this mess somehow.

Done Susie style, just lacking flair . . .

UPDATE: See link to the egg.

Good time to call it quits*

It seems blogrolling has decided to go offline, so I cannot access all my links to those great blogs out there I wanted to read. I guess that is a good sign that I really ought to be getting to bed anyhow.

*Now you didn't really think I was announcing I was giving up blogging, did you?**

**Are you sorely disappointed?

Cherry gets another mention

Another one from Cherry in my inbox! Thanks Cherry!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?

Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!

So you want a link space on my blog?

OK, since Frank is having a contest to get a link on his blog, I decided I would start a contest to stay on mine. OK, here is the deal, to retain your place on my blogroll* just correctly respond to the questions presented below.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions in full. Time limit: 24 hours. Begin immediately.

BIOLOGY:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

CHEMISTRY:
You will be given 1 lb. of lead to convert to gold. Return it to the test administrator along with the only copy of the experimental procedure.

ART:
Recreate sound in 3D. Include all reference material.

MATHEMATICS:
Using only numbers and equations, answer the question, "What is the Matrix?" Give your full review of the movies as well.

ECONOMICS:
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, and the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all points of view.

ENGINEERING:
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili, next to the box. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal Tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

EPISTEMOLOGY:
Take a position for and against truth. Argue with yourself and lose. If you win, keep trying.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

HISTORY:
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

MEDICINE:
Your test administrator will provide you with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

MUSIC:
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a trumpet under your seat.

PHILOSOPHY:
Sketch the development of human thought. Next, sketch the thoughts you had while sketching the development of human thought. Now scribble. Compare and contrast the three sketches, estimating the significance of the differences.

GOVERNMENT:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report in detail on its socio-political effects, if any.

PSYCHOLOGY:
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nyssa, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate the references.

SOCIOLOGY:
If you were an extinct society, what would you do?

PUBLIC SPEAKING:
2,500 riot-crazed Aborigines will storm the testing room at the beginning of the fourth hour. Calm them. You may use any ancient language, except Latin or Greek.

EXTRA CREDIT:
Define the universe; give three examples.

EXTRA EXTRA CREDIT: Without reference to any materials of any sort, define EPISTEMOLOGY.

Thanks Cherry!

*If you got all the way down here, realize this is a joke. You are on my blogroll because I want you to be there.

I have done rethunk it

I have reconsidered my coinage of the word inanitarian and have decided its purpose would be fulfilled if the word was reformed to become inaniac.

I will die, but not like this

I located a very interesting story about one man's death, and thought, what an asshole! I only know a few people upon whom I would wish this kind of death. I didn't know this one.

attribution: Drumwaster [for whom I have a slogan, but he has to ask me for it ;) ]

Balance of WORLD POWER in jeopardy?

It seems there has been a coup in the West African island state of Sao Tome and Principe.

attribution: Susie, who seems to be keeping a cinemagraphic eye on this story.

What would Glenn Reynolds say?

Who the Hell knows? Interesting statistical analysis showing how it can be possible that both whites and blacks report the amounts of racism acts differently and yet each are correct as to their reports.

The groveling contest begins

OK, Frank [not liberal assclown Glenn Reynolds] has divided up the people who are entrants, and has handed out the first set of questions. Most were general stuff about your blog and stuff to do with what you thought of Frank and IMOA. Although I am in the second group and have already stated that I am not playing [although I have been informed that I am in first place in the contest see comments]. However, I have to admit that I loved this question:

Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?

Oh and the question about Aquaman:

If given the right equipment, being a big broom, dustpan and dustwagon which could be used underwater, I am sure he would be a really big assistance in cleaning up all the pollution at the bottom of the oceans, as well as cleaning up all that whale shit piling up. Also, I bet he could stop whaling and other practices that threatened the extinction of some waterbound species singlehandedly, although, I am almost sure he could expect some help from the Submariner, especially if any really heavy fighting needed to be done.

Episode No. 1

As I reported yesterday, I was actually able to recover some of the stuff my late father wrote. You might have called him a blogger, although he only did one post each month, mostly it was in a hand-made blog form. I will be posting his columns over the next couple of weeks, hopefully introducing one each night. There will definitely be some reformatting to fit my format, but none of the language, punctuation or spelling is modified. Only justification, line length and other formatting mechanisms have been altered.

My father's name was Charles W. Russell. Rusty Rucker was the character he played when voicing his opinions for all to see. In all, he produced 30 monthly columns. I was not able to recover one or two of them. This is his first stab at doing the monthly Rusty Rucker column. It was originally published in August 1998.

OUTSIDE THE SMOKEHOUSE By Rusty Rucker

I reckon VP Albert Gourd knowed what he was talking about when he said he's gonna reinvent government. Heck, him and McClintuck already got the Bill of Rights so screwed up it looks like Lenin wrote it from the tomb. We still got Freedom of Speech -- unless we decide to toss a hook into Whitewater or ask why State Troopers are chasin' down Bimbos. And, course we can't say nothin' detrimental about lawyers or they'll sue. Since we don't know anything good about any of them, only reasonable thing is to elect 'em to Congress where they can waste their lives and our money jawing at one another.

I done figured out why so many lawyers get into politics. The transformation is a cinch. They already know how to lie, cheat, and steal. [*]

What about the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. They don't want us to have as good as them -- in case we need to be pushed back under the porch. The boss family being from Arkansas and having names like Hill and Billy should guarantee everbody at lease an AK-47 in the garage. Even the Boobies in London have started packing iron.

Then there's the fifth -- suppose Ted Candidatey is thoroughly familiar with that one by now.

Can't understand all the fuss about aliens. Isn't that what America is about -- saving the hungry and oppressed masses and giving them a fresh start. 'Course it's only fair they start fresh as our ancestors did. We have all that Government Land in Alaska. Why not send them up there to develop that challenging new frontier? Or they could get that Rostan something or other to adopt them on shares.

Heard a fellow say the other day that he'd vote for a jackass if he was a Democrat. That explains a lot. Don't start thinking I'm for the Republicans 'cause I quit taking sides a long time ago. There ain't a nickels worth of difference between the two. They're both in Washington for only one thing. Now, we all have to figure out a way to make 'em understand what it is.

Thanks for the ride.

Y'all come back now. Ya hear?

If ya like this, check out the poems of his I posted in this entry.

*I did rag to my dad once about how I never seemed to be a successful attorney as far as making money as one, and my dad said to me: "Son, I always thought you were a bit too honest to be an attorney. Remember, it was your mom's idea for you to go to law school." I think my dad appreciated my writing more than my career choice.

Sorry, I am just looking . . .

[linklylove]

Andy at WWRant3 has a really good story about the intelligence of teachers and students in the current public educational system and even manages to reference Mary Kay Letourneau. This follows his important male health report: Pud Pulling Prevents Prostate Problems.

Phil Ringnalda finally explains the answer to that question we have all been asking about forever: Why do we get errors on MT Pings and how do we fix it so that it doesn't always happen? attribution: James OTB

Mostly just a bunch of boring political bullshit being reported over on Liberal Assclown InstaPundit, as usual. You know the bullshit I am talking about . . .

Are you a top notch practical jokist who can work within the rules? Please report to Jen.

Bill seems to be having female problems, while McGehee is too bored to blog.

[/linkylove]

[My Internet connection has decided to be extra sucky today, I was completely unable to connect at the office, and the best I get tonight is 31.2k that dies every five minutes. Oh, how I hate dialup.]

Carnival time again!

This week's Carnival of the Vanities is up at Caerdroia.

Also, I have forgotten to mention that Kevin has posted the Bonfire of the Vanities at Wizbang.

From beyond the grave ...

It seems that all of those poems of my departed father that I posted earlier* are already drawing raves. Way to go DAD!

*Now, be honest! You didn't read all the way to the bottom last time you looked at that post, did you?

Damn, now I am Glenn Reynolds

I really didn't have anything interesting to say other than telling you I thought this was something you would like to read. James of Outside the Beltway analyzes why* some posts get more comments and links than others, especially the navel gazing posts.**

*I did reflect on the purpose of my blogging. I do it for all my adoring readers, all 3 of them . . . whoever they are . . . those nameless faces and faceless names in all world and I had to walk in here. Hello Rick.***

**Gawd, I don't have any of those, do I?****

***OK, OK. I probably messed that up, but you get the drift. Hey, inane thoughts just come out the way you remember them.

****Oh Lordie, I do...*****

*****I bet you wouldn't catch Glenn Reynolds posting any navel gazing posts.

Arrived well and standing ...

but it did look touch and go there for a bit. MasterYoder of Accidental Jedi tells everyone about how her day went.

Not my day to die

Utoh, Susie has informed me that I had a deadline to meet the second prong to compete to get a link on Frank [not Glenn Reynolds]'s blogroll. The second prong is to assist in an experiment to have InstaPundit returned as the number one link on a Gooble search on the two word term: Liberal AssClown.

I am somehow on a list for that competition. I did not apply for the competition and am not going to compete to get a link on anyone's site. Heck, I am not sure I want anyone who wanted me to grovel for their attention in here reading all my private thoughts and such anyway!*

*Was that acerbic enough for ya?

Sometimes you feel like a nut

I guess I kind of do feel like a nut because I like the story James shared over on Parkway Rest Stop. Of course, I cannot seem to get these visions out of my head about a naked Greenwich Village man wielding a lawnmower blade and mumbling something. Damn! I hope I have a nightmare. It kinda feels really good on a hot night if you wake up in the middle of it in cold sweats from a nightmare.

Oh, and I liked this post at Ravenwood. Especially loved the very last line:

I mean from the CIA.. where else on the internet can you get this message from the CIA? Exactly.

It does pay to comment

It does pay to make comments every once in awhile, especially if you are a new blogger wanting to get my attention. Yep, there are not very many that visit here and leave any kind of a mark that do not get checked. Remember, I am the New Weblog Showcase reviewer*, so recognizing new blogs is some of what I do.**

Anyway, I just got a comment from Monkeyspit, who is suspected to be the clandestine blogger performing on Sea of Humanity. I liked it. It is funny and inane enough not to make your head hurt. Check it out. Seriously!

*I guess I better get started on that job. I just was a bit confused, as I had already reviewed some of the entries in last week's review, but I am thinking there has been some weird stuff going on over at NZB.*** those last few were ones I reviewed right before the end of voting.

**Although I am mindful that I kind of took that mantle on for myself, but hey, ya gotta have some kind of niche, don't you?****

***Like the ecosystem stats have not been regularly posted. I used to could check my stats, first thing in the morn and now, no changes, sometimes for days. Is NZB taking on too much?

****However, I am not giving up my mantle as "the undisputed master of the asterisk in the blogosphere" [see my reviews, right under the lantern, for the source of this reference]

You haven't been paying attention

If you have no idea what I am doing right now, you have not been keeping up with your reading! Shame on you!

Standing on stumps or pulling them up?

This is from an email I received from OLDCATMAN:

THANKS FOR THE REVIEW, RE-REVIEW AND RECENT OLDCATMAN REFERENCE ....... FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, YOUR BLOG SITE IS PART OF MY AM RITUAL ON THE COMPUTER ....... I WAS USING BLOGSPOT TO READ BLOGS BUT NOW I USE YOUR BLOG LINKS.

A SHORT AUTO-BIO .................. I'VE BEEN WRITING IN MY CURRENT STYLE EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER.. AND THAT GOES BACK TO WRITING IN GRAMMAR/HIGH SCHOOL.

I WAS BRIEFLY, A JOURNALISM MAJOR IN COLLEGE IN 1958 ........... YES, NOT ONLY DO I WRITE BRAIN FARTS BUT I AM AN ''OLD FART" TOO; 63!! TRULY, AN "OLD" CATMAN ............... TRAGICALLY, I AM WRITING MORE SINCE 060103 THAN IN ANY TIME PERIOD IN MY LIFE; TRAGICALLY, IN THE SENSE THAT I SHOULD HAVE PURSUED A WRITING CAREER ... ENDED UP IN A 45 YEAR HOSPITAL MANAGEMENT CAREER ..... AND NOW I'M A BLOG WRITING FARMER IN COLORADO .... HOW ONE'S WORLD TURNS AROUND. [emphasis supplied]

His opening remarks: Hello Friend! Thanks for stopping by. Here you will find some of the thoughts and philosophy of a man who has been down the lane, around the bend, across the creek, and through the woods many times. Please explore all my links and enjoy your stay.

I have found and saved almost all of his monthly "Rusty Rucker" columns and will post them from time to time. For now, I will allow you to read all the poetry he had written and posted to his web site.

I always thought he did such a great job on this poem:

By The Gun

Down the street comes a prancing red stallion,
Slowly and deliberately, to attract every stare,
His massive hooves puffing the powdery earth
Into tiny dust devils as he plants each with care.

The rider looks neither right nor left.
His youthful face expressing no sign
Of the turmoil boiling within, as he passes
In review for the bystander line.

A cool breeze brushes against his back.
A rare chill races from head to toe.
Sunlight glistens off silver trappings.
A vision of supremacy, master of the show.

His pearl-handled cannon, calibre 44,
Clings to his thigh, firm as a leech,
It has become a part of his being,
A warning to all, death within reach.

It boasts twelve notches, carved carefully,
So sharp, impressible eyes can count,
Completing a picture of doom and glory,
Framed in the glitter of rider and mount.

An aging marshall stands firmly.
All alone at the street's other end.
Like a tree he is rooted in position,
Waiting for the duel to begin.

The gunman dismounts and crouches,
Coiled like a tightly wound spring.
Death hovering beneath his fingertips.
To be unleashed in one awesome swing.

The brave marshall is placidly waiting,
His stomach hollow and throat dry,
To accept a challenge he can't win,
But the code demands that he try.

Lead hammers the lawman's vest,
His gun exploding as he fell.
Has the bullet gone wild or found its mark?
Someone in the crowd gives a yell.

Both men topple in sprawling disarray.
Each has done the thing that he must.
But, the long, gray shadow of dying
Passes swiftly over one in the dust.

Wounded and covered in crimson,
One single combatant survives.
He's walked the lonely valley once more
And emerged from its shadow alive.

The stallion stomps restlessly -- waiting.
His champion always set 'em up at the bar.
But, along about sundown he is stabled
By a bandaged old man with a dent in his star.

Copyright 1987 --Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Other poems of his:

The Toy Train

Billy is sitting in the living room
Playing with his train on the floor
Waiting for Dad to come get him
He is anxiously watching the door
While the train go round and around
The wall clock is striking two now
Dad's running a little bit late...
Billy is all dressed and ready
And he's finding it quite hard to wait
Still the train goes round and around

The sound of a horn catches his ear
The boy jumps quickly to his feet
"Its Dad, I knew that he'd be here!"
But it's only a car on the street
And the train goes round and around

The time has crept to hour four
Billy begins to feel very sad
Just like all of the times previous
A little boy who's needing his Dad
Yet the train goes round and around

His Mom makes her entrance from the stairs
She's all dressed up to keep her date
Billy sadly watches her leave
He thinks, "Why couldn't HER date be late?"
And the train goes round and around

Billy watned to see a ball game
"That is what we'll do." Dad said
But like before he doesn't come
Billy is wishing that he were dead
But the train goes round and around
Grandmother comes in from the kitchen
She's bringing a batch of fried pies
Billy looks up at her slowly
Revealing pain and tears in his eyes
Still the train goes round and around

Grandmother sits, then pats her lap
The boy takes his place with her there
They feast on the tasty goodies
That Grandma has brought to share

While the train goes round and around

As the moon rests high in the sky
Mom tucks Billy into his bed
He leaves Dad out of his prayers...
Blesses Mamma and Grandma instead
And the world turns round and around

Copyright (C) 2001 --Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]
__With help from my friend Kim [I regrettably do not know who this "Kim" is]

Feel the Burning

I feel a burning inside,
An almost unbearable pain,
The certainty of dreams forsaken
Mysteries I can never explain.
In the cool silence of night,
Comes the spirit of yearning and hope,
So full of life I can touch it,
When in utter darkness I grope.

The heart looks ever skyward
To the vastness of outer space
Beautiful and yet solitary
As is my love without a place.

It longs for a haven to share.
A second heart to entwine.
To beat as one forever,
But TRUE LOVE is hard to find.

(C) Copyright 1999 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

WOLF - God's Own Dog

Howling high on a mountain top,
Sending shivers up my spine,
Stands a lonely sentinel
Calling to others of his kind.
The last of a vanishing breed.
His crime -- the need to eat.
His mate has a liter waiting,
For Dad to bring home some meat.

Ranchers say he's a threat
To the weak ones in their herd.
But to hunt him to extinction
Is meaningless and absurd.

A way has to be found for all
God's creatures to coexist.
To bring harmony and justice
To Wolves, and Gorillas in the mist.

So, before you condemn him,
Or shoot him -- even worse
Remember the Wolf, like Indians
Inhabited this land first.

(C) Copyright 1997 Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]
Published 2000 "Reflections of Nature" [I am unsure where this publication exists or can be found]

To June

Hand in hand in the wedding chapel,
We stood together, you and I.
A picture of feminine lovliness
And a boy, so awkward and shy.
The homeymoon has never ended.
It's still special to hold you close.
When we kiss and you call me baby,
Is when I feel your love the most.

At times it hasn't been easy.
The hills have often been high.
But, we reached the top by sharing
Each other's load -- girl and guy.

The years have passed so quickly.
We've kept our vows to be true.
I promised to love you forever.
I have, I will, and I do.

Alva June Russell
June 8, 1935 -- July 23, 1999

(C) Copyright 1967 --Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]
[ed. June was my mother, who passed away the year before my father, Charles]

Senses

Did you ever,
Watch the full Moon rise,
Into a gold sequined sky?
Hear the plaintive call of a Whip-o-will
Issuing its mournful cry?
Smell the Heavenly odor
Of Grandma's apple pie?
Taste the sugary lips
Of a girl so sweet and shy?
Hold her in your arms
As the night goes fleeting by?
These are the things I love.
Have you,
Heard the roar a waterfall
When sheets come cascading down?
Seen fish jumping in a lake
To feed on insects that abound?
Savored the fragrance of wet earth
As rain falls softly around?
Felt the pounding of a happy heart
Where untold joys are found?
Tasted sweet kisses from your honey
While you gently lay her down?
These are the things I love.

Have you,
Watched a field of golden grain
Shimmering in the summer breeze?
Heard the drone of working
>From a swarm of busy bees?
Walked along a sun warmed beah
And tasted salty mist from the sas?
Felt the tug of autumn's wind
As it swirls among the trees?
Enjoyed the perfume of passion
>From one always there to please?
These are the things I love.

(C) Copyright 1999 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

This Girl

She is the one in Cyberspace
Who keeps messing with my heart.
I know I will never meet her
I've known that from the start.
She is the chick I met last night,
The winsome lass next door,
The foxy babe that I will find,
And those I've known before.

Fate has placed us miles apart.
With only Cupid to span the gap.
Yet, excitement in my beating
Heart did not foresee this trap.

Our connection is a bonding
That is impossible to explain.
We have touched not once,
But a thousand times in vain.

She dominates my dreams,
Both sleeping and awake.
Joins with me hand in hand
To places our fantasies take.

Our exchange is so frustrating,
The connection is going bad.
I shall remember her forever
As the love I never had.

(C)Copyright 1996 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

My Best Friend

When I am down and feeling low
There is a place I can always go.
To visit the friend who is waiting there
If no one else does, I know she will care.
She'll give me a hug and a pat on the back
Make me feel better...she has the knack.
She'll boost my ego and prop up my pride
And make my tummy feel all tumbly inside.

(C) Copyright 1996 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

My Mom

Nine months of carrying me
Around in her tummy
Where I wiggle and squirm
And kick like a dummy.
Then the day arrives
When I burst into the light
With flailing arms and crying.
I must be a sight.

But if she is disappointed
She expresses no sign
Holding me to her breast
I begin life devine.

I suckle and sleep
That's all I can do
But I learn to express
My comfort with coos.

She bathes me and tends me
While watching me grow
She wipes my nose
And tells me to BLOW.

She helps me to walk
And then to run.
And watches constantly
As I play in the sun.

She packs me a lunch
And sends me to school
Helps with my homework
My Mom is way cool.

She makes me wash behind ears
And Between my toes,
But relents when I beg
For fadish clothes.

Every year I grow bigger
And come to love her more.
She is my rock
To cherish and adore.

In light of what she does
It's only right that I say
"Tell your Mom you love her
And hug her EVERY DAY!"

(C)Copyright 1998 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Seniors

We delight in sports at high.
In college, we are young men.
But, the years rush swiftly by
And we become seniors again.
We dwell on memories of yesterday
And dream of times we have had.
All of the trials along our way,
Recalling the good and the bad.

We sit alone with nothing to do.
Until we hear a grandchild call,
"Pap-paw! I've come to see you."
Now is the best time of all.

(C) Copyright 1992 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Love Is

Love is a feeling so hazy
That we can never explain.
It makes us go wild and crazy
Really scrambles our brain.
It fills our being with wonder
That we are compeled to supress.
Shakes the earth with its thunder
An expression of pure happiness.

A smile or wink and a blown kiss
Makes our insides tumble about.
A hug between a lad and a miss
Is fuel to make both wanna shout.

So if you feel love coming on
There is only one place to start.
Let all your worries be gone,
And take it right to the heart.
(C) Copyright 1996 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Rusty gets poetic

I created this post solely to post Rusty Rucker's poems in another place so as to be a part of the new Rusty Rides Again category and to be easily found for those Rusty Rucker fans out there in the Blogosphere. They are also still located in the prior location.

By The Gun

Down the street comes a prancing red stallion,
Slowly and deliberately, to attract every stare,
His massive hooves puffing the powdery earth
Into tiny dust devils as he plants each with care.

The rider looks neither right nor left.
His youthful face expressing no sign
Of the turmoil boiling within, as he passes
In review for the bystander line.

A cool breeze brushes against his back.
A rare chill races from head to toe.
Sunlight glistens off silver trappings.
A vision of supremacy, master of the show.

His pearl-handled cannon, calibre 44,
Clings to his thigh, firm as a leech,
It has become a part of his being,
A warning to all, death within reach.

It boasts twelve notches, carved carefully,
So sharp, impressible eyes can count,
Completing a picture of doom and glory,
Framed in the glitter of rider and mount.

An aging marshall stands firmly.
All alone at the street's other end.
Like a tree he is rooted in position,
Waiting for the duel to begin.

The gunman dismounts and crouches,
Coiled like a tightly wound spring.
Death hovering beneath his fingertips.
To be unleashed in one awesome swing.

The brave marshall is placidly waiting,
His stomach hollow and throat dry,
To accept a challenge he can't win,
But the code demands that he try.

Lead hammers the lawman's vest,
His gun exploding as he fell.
Has the bullet gone wild or found its mark?
Someone in the crowd gives a yell.

Both men topple in sprawling disarray.
Each has done the thing that he must.
But, the long, gray shadow of dying
Passes swiftly over one in the dust.

Wounded and covered in crimson,
One single combatant survives.
He's walked the lonely valley once more
And emerged from its shadow alive.

The stallion stomps restlessly -- waiting.
His champion always set 'em up at the bar.
But, along about sundown he is stabled
By a bandaged old man with a dent in his star.

Copyright 1987 --Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Other poems of his:

The Toy Train

Billy is sitting in the living room
Playing with his train on the floor
Waiting for Dad to come get him
He is anxiously watching the door
While the train go round and around
The wall clock is striking two now
Dad's running a little bit late...
Billy is all dressed and ready
And he's finding it quite hard to wait
Still the train goes round and around

The sound of a horn catches his ear
The boy jumps quickly to his feet
"Its Dad, I knew that he'd be here!"
But it's only a car on the street
And the train goes round and around

The time has crept to hour four
Billy begins to feel very sad
Just like all of the times previous
A little boy who's needing his Dad
Yet the train goes round and around

His Mom makes her entrance from the stairs
She's all dressed up to keep her date
Billy sadly watches her leave
He thinks, "Why couldn't HER date be late?"
And the train goes round and around

Billy watned to see a ball game
"That is what we'll do." Dad said
But like before he doesn't come
Billy is wishing that he were dead
But the train goes round and around
Grandmother comes in from the kitchen
She's bringing a batch of fried pies
Billy looks up at her slowly
Revealing pain and tears in his eyes
Still the train goes round and around

Grandmother sits, then pats her lap
The boy takes his place with her there
They feast on the tasty goodies
That Grandma has brought to share

While the train goes round and around

As the moon rests high in the sky
Mom tucks Billy into his bed
He leaves Dad out of his prayers...
Blesses Mamma and Grandma instead
And the world turns round and around

Copyright (C) 2001 --Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]
__With help from my friend Kim [I regrettably do not know who this "Kim" is]

Feel the Burning

I feel a burning inside,
An almost unbearable pain,
The certainty of dreams forsaken
Mysteries I can never explain.
In the cool silence of night,
Comes the spirit of yearning and hope,
So full of life I can touch it,
When in utter darkness I grope.

The heart looks ever skyward
To the vastness of outer space
Beautiful and yet solitary
As is my love without a place.

It longs for a haven to share.
A second heart to entwine.
To beat as one forever,
But TRUE LOVE is hard to find.

(C) Copyright 1999 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

WOLF - God's Own Dog

Howling high on a mountain top,
Sending shivers up my spine,
Stands a lonely sentinel
Calling to others of his kind.
The last of a vanishing breed.
His crime -- the need to eat.
His mate has a liter waiting,
For Dad to bring home some meat.

Ranchers say he's a threat
To the weak ones in their herd.
But to hunt him to extinction
Is meaningless and absurd.

A way has to be found for all
God's creatures to coexist.
To bring harmony and justice
To Wolves, and Gorillas in the mist.

So, before you condemn him,
Or shoot him -- even worse
Remember the Wolf, like Indians
Inhabited this land first.

(C) Copyright 1997 Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]
Published 2000 "Reflections of Nature" [I am unsure where this publication exists or can be found]

To June

Hand in hand in the wedding chapel,
We stood together, you and I.
A picture of feminine lovliness
And a boy, so awkward and shy.
The homeymoon has never ended.
It's still special to hold you close.
When we kiss and you call me baby,
Is when I feel your love the most.

At times it hasn't been easy.
The hills have often been high.
But, we reached the top by sharing
Each other's load -- girl and guy.

The years have passed so quickly.
We've kept our vows to be true.
I promised to love you forever.
I have, I will, and I do.

Alva June Russell
June 8, 1935 -- July 23, 1999

(C) Copyright 1967 --Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]
[ed. June was my mother, who passed away the year before my father, Charles]

Senses

Did you ever,
Watch the full Moon rise,
Into a gold sequined sky?
Hear the plaintive call of a Whip-o-will
Issuing its mournful cry?
Smell the Heavenly odor
Of Grandma's apple pie?
Taste the sugary lips
Of a girl so sweet and shy?
Hold her in your arms
As the night goes fleeting by?
These are the things I love.
Have you,
Heard the roar a waterfall
When sheets come cascading down?
Seen fish jumping in a lake
To feed on insects that abound?
Savored the fragrance of wet earth
As rain falls softly around?
Felt the pounding of a happy heart
Where untold joys are found?
Tasted sweet kisses from your honey
While you gently lay her down?
These are the things I love.

Have you,
Watched a field of golden grain
Shimmering in the summer breeze?
Heard the drone of working
>From a swarm of busy bees?
Walked along a sun warmed beah
And tasted salty mist from the sas?
Felt the tug of autumn's wind
As it swirls among the trees?
Enjoyed the perfume of passion
>From one always there to please?
These are the things I love.

(C) Copyright 1999 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

This Girl

She is the one in Cyberspace
Who keeps messing with my heart.
I know I will never meet her
I've known that from the start.
She is the chick I met last night,
The winsome lass next door,
The foxy babe that I will find,
And those I've known before.

Fate has placed us miles apart.
With only Cupid to span the gap.
Yet, excitement in my beating
Heart did not foresee this trap.

Our connection is a bonding
That is impossible to explain.
We have touched not once,
But a thousand times in vain.

She dominates my dreams,
Both sleeping and awake.
Joins with me hand in hand
To places our fantasies take.

Our exchange is so frustrating,
The connection is going bad.
I shall remember her forever
As the love I never had.

(C)Copyright 1996 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

My Best Friend

When I am down and feeling low
There is a place I can always go.
To visit the friend who is waiting there
If no one else does, I know she will care.
She'll give me a hug and a pat on the back
Make me feel better...she has the knack.
She'll boost my ego and prop up my pride
And make my tummy feel all tumbly inside.

(C) Copyright 1996 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

My Mom

Nine months of carrying me
Around in her tummy
Where I wiggle and squirm
And kick like a dummy.
Then the day arrives
When I burst into the light
With flailing arms and crying.
I must be a sight.

But if she is disappointed
She expresses no sign
Holding me to her breast
I begin life devine.

I suckle and sleep
That's all I can do
But I learn to express
My comfort with coos.

She bathes me and tends me
While watching me grow
She wipes my nose
And tells me to BLOW.

She helps me to walk
And then to run.
And watches constantly
As I play in the sun.

She packs me a lunch
And sends me to school
Helps with my homework
My Mom is way cool.

She makes me wash behind ears
And Between my toes,
But relents when I beg
For fadish clothes.

Every year I grow bigger
And come to love her more.
She is my rock
To cherish and adore.

In light of what she does
It's only right that I say
"Tell your Mom you love her
And hug her EVERY DAY!"

(C)Copyright 1998 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Seniors

We delight in sports at high.
In college, we are young men.
But, the years rush swiftly by
And we become seniors again.
We dwell on memories of yesterday
And dream of times we have had.
All of the trials along our way,
Recalling the good and the bad.

We sit alone with nothing to do.
Until we hear a grandchild call,
"Pap-paw! I've come to see you."
Now is the best time of all.

(C) Copyright 1992 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Love Is

Love is a feeling so hazy
That we can never explain.
It makes us go wild and crazy
Really scrambles our brain.
It fills our being with wonder
That we are compeled to supress.
Shakes the earth with its thunder
An expression of pure happiness.

A smile or wink and a blown kiss
Makes our insides tumble about.
A hug between a lad and a miss
Is fuel to make both wanna shout.

So if you feel love coming on
There is only one place to start.
Let all your worries be gone,
And take it right to the heart.
(C) Copyright 1996 -- Rusty Rucker [Charles W. Russell]

Today's agenda

Today is round two with the dentist. Today will be a discussion about which teeth need to go, which teeth we can save, which ones to cap, etc. What a great thing: having someone poking around in your mouth while you are contemplating the fortune it will take to pay for that privilege.

UPDATE: Well, the absolute biggest surprise of the day was when I heard the dentist say as she was assessing the condition of my teeth: "This one looks OK." I heard that twice. Mostly what I heard was "RCB Crown" which I later learned stood for root canal buildup, which is what they have to do to that tooth before it is ready for a crown. I was shown the total costs for everything that needs to be done: $26K and change. My part is a bit above $10K. Thankfully, this looks like it is going to be done over an extended period, so hopefully I can pay my part out at $1k here and $1K there.* If I am really lucky, I can get some local dentist [who does not accept my insurance so that I have to drive an hour to Ft. Worth] who will come in and hire me for a nasty divorce and I can just take it out of his/her pocket and give it to a dentist who did accept my insurance.

*What really frightens me is the thought that I will invest large amounts of my time and income to get my teeth all in order and die of some malady right after all the work is completed. It is not like I will need a great smile after I am gone, because I intend to be cremated.

It surely ain't a ringer

Paul [Sanity's Edge] describe certain facets of his personality and I was thinking how remarkable it was to find someone who was a lot like me when I came to the end and saw this:

I like reality TV, I feel better about myself when I watch reality TV. There are no UFOs.

Hmmm, now what do we have here?

Very interesting* . . . Mark Kleinman suggests this not get out.

*What is it about all of these Laugh-In quips tonight? Strange mood? Perhaps!

Announced obtuse inanities

Hmmm, I think OLDCATMAN calls these brain farts:

We got a confirmed case of West Nile Virus in a human in Dallas. That is close. I just wonder ... if you are so hot you can't move without breaking out in pools of sweat, is that a sign of having West Nile Virus, or is it just the way you always feel in the middle of July in Texas.

And it is really cruel when you are watching the news about the hurricane anticipating its hit just so you can enjoy the refreshing rain it will bring to hopefully make your days 350 miles away a bit cooler?

I just got a SPAM warning me about having corrupted files on my system that I didn't know about ... duh? With crappy Windows as an OS and umpteen programs, I know I have corrupted files ... I may not know where they are, but I know they are there. Another piece of buggy software is not going to fix things, so I am not interested.

I had some solicitor call while I was at the office. My secretary asked him if he was soliciting. He said "no." So, I take the call.

"Hi, I'm Bob."

"What can we do for you, Bob"

"Well, we are offering a free home security system . . ."

"Bob, don't call me on this business line." click

UPDATE: I might not have used the term acerbic** often enough. Your acerbic remarks, por favor . . .

*Well, DUKE might bite. You never really know about Duke.

**Look that up in your Funk & Wagnels~~You bet your bippy, I will.

Wow, who woulda thunk it?

The pro-lover cat chooser, Social Reject has had an epiphany while watching an Animal Planet documentary. Her realization makes so much sense once someone mentions it. Hmmmmm.

Blogosphere coincidence

Wow, I lost 18 links overnight. Was I ceremoniously de-linked by a multitude of sites, or were there 18 links to some post of mine from the week before last that finally fell off the front page? Either way, I am ranked as #290 in the Blogosphere Ecosystem whether you look at number of links or daily visits. Just how often do you think that would happen?

Damn, I am out of cigarettes*

Well, I skipped up and down the newest entries in the blogs over to the left [somewhere probably much farther down the page] and the best I found was this nifty little list of recent personal discoveries at damnum absque injuria.

*Nothing better came to mind than that, because I did just run out of cigarettes. Nasty habit that!

The BLOGSPLAT has hit the fan!

Frank at IMAO is mad about not getting any recognition by InstaPundit. He asked his loyal readers to email Glenn about it. Glenn is none too happy about having received the emails. Frank is less upset about Glenn calling the emailers SPAMBOTS than he is about the fact that Glenn mentioned such without supplying a link to his blog. Damn, this has all the makings for a good episode of The Jerry Springer Show.

Of course, neither of them has made mention of my site or added me to their respective blogrolls. Maybe I should take pride in that fact.

At least it ain't French!

Cherry*, my Kiwi friend, frequent reader and sometimes commenter, sends me a jokelist every Friday [actually my Thursday]. Some of these are really old jokes that have been floating around the Internet since Al Gore invented it. However, even some of the old ones are gems. The following is one of them:

Why English is Such a Difficult Language

1.) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write - but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

on second thought: OLDCATMAN

OK, last week, I panned the heck out of his Weblog Review entry:

1.5~OLDCATMAN SPEAKS: Sat. June 21, 2003 [Entry Link=NZB 404 Page MY LINK WORKS!] ~Catman Speaks, but does anyone really want to listen? Another really neophyte blogger who is still needing to get a clue as to what it is all about. First off, do individual posts. Do not put all the things you have to say into one day's post. What is it with your formatting? Are you cutting and pasting from another program? Your lines are extremely ragged. Is that a template from Blogger? I am almost sure the most atrocious Blogger template looked better than that. Several stories were mentioned, and yet not one solitary link. Actually, I did notice a fairly good sense of humor in the post, and I think Catman can evolve into a blogger with some regular following once he gets the hang of blogging. I did actually find a few of his comments to be quite funny. Hang in there Catman. Too bad you wasted your one and only chance of entering the New Weblog Showcase before you were ready to shine. He tried, I found it, and another notch for good measure.

Oldcatman finally found his review and commented. His writing style is attrocious, but the comment made me laugh. I decided to check his blog, to see if he still has that template, and to see if his formatting had improved. The template is still there and the formatting is still horrible, but I began to read. And I found myself scrolling and reading further and further down the page. After you get accustomed to the writing style, catman writes really funny shit!

Some of ya'll gurus give the guy a hand with template design and moving off of blog*spot.

I am blogrolling OLDCATMAN.

Must SEE TV!

I was just chillin' in front of the tube watching the last half of a rerun of "Smallville" when they played a blurb of Tuesday night's episode. Kristin Kreuk in lingerie! Yummy!*

*How I could slather that luscious body with kisses!**

**"Down Boy! Get those viscious vile thoughts out of your filthy mind. YOU MEN ARE SUCH DOGS!"***

***Hey! A man can dream, can't he?

By Request: Catalyst Progressive Weblog

In a comment to my New Weblog Review for 7/13/03, Ben Regenspan has asked me to review his blog.

Catalyst Progressive Weblog ~Progressive? Mostly what I observed was left-sided zealotism, with interspersing news commentary about other subjects here and there. I am never impressed with white text on black backgrounds as it is actually hard on your eyes. The blog, however, was well organized, had links to other articles the blogger found interesting, included a side blog with short articles, and had very well written articles. I would expect this to be popular with those who read The Daily Kos on a regular basis.

Paying the piper

Bad Money has some good ideas about when and why to put some jingle into those blogger's tip jars. Of course, I don't have a tip jar. If something I write makes you compelled to give me money, email me. I will tell you where to send the checks.

Just do it, however long it takes

Drumwaster rants eloquently about the Left's continually harping on how long it is taking to establish democracy in Iraq. It has a nasty zinger in it that will likely come up and bite you on the butt.

POUT: even depraved killers are more popular than I am

Susan Smith has an online personal ad seeking pen pals. Her ad has drawn so much media attention that the website has issued a press release.

3) How many visitors has Susan received on her webpage?

As of 6:00 p.m. Eastern Time, July 12, 2003, Susan has received over 150,000 visitors on her personal page. She is currently receiving approximately 170 viewings per minute.

Inmates have no access to the Internet, but they have a legal right to mail and phones, [Corrections department director Jon E.] Ozmint said.

The ad costs $40 for a year. According to Roberts [Jason Roberts, spokesman for WriteAPrisoner.com], Smith took out the ad and paid for it with a S.C. Department of Corrections check, apparently provided as in-house jail credit. Smith took out the ad probably because she wanted friendship or attention, or both, he said.

Ozmint also said someone else must have taken out the ad on Smith's behalf because the corrections department provides no source of cash to inmates.

Smith drowned her children in a Union County lake in 1994. The children's disappearance captured the nation's attention as Smith made tearful pleas on national television programs for their safe return, claiming they had been kidnapped.

attribution: Backcountry Conservative > Palmetto Anglican

New Weblog Review for 7/13/03

As usual, this post is predated so that it can be used as a reference for those who wish to vote for the new bloggers in the New Weblog Showcase on The Truth Laid Bear. Votes will be tallied on July 13, 2003 for this week's entries, so make sure your votes stay on the main page until that day!

STOP! GO NO FURTHER! READ! Anyone who is offended by my review of their entry, remember I am merely stating my opinions and they may not necessarily be the opinions of any other single person [on this planet, unless they are from Estonia, Fiji, or Tarzan, Texas. Additionally, I have been contacted and told that my opinions were officially adopted by an entire alien sub-culture in the Ming Sector and 92% of the species in the Gamma quadrant.]

5.0=exceptional 4.5=excellent; 4.0=great; 3.5=very good; 3.0=good; 2.5=par; 2.0=sub par; 1.5=fair; 1.0=poor; 0.5=tried. ALL RATING IS SUBJECTIVE; Listings within tied ratings are arranged from my most favorite to my least favorite based upon my personal preferences.

5.0~Boots and Sabers: Idealism ~[BEST OF SHOW] A wonderfully well-written analysis of how idealism falls in the face of reality. The blogger did delve far back into the archives to dig up this pearl [May 21, 2003], but it is well worth a read and a vote!

5.0~Who Tends The Fires: The Beauty of Being Mom ~This is the type of post I look for to be a part of The New Weblog Showcase. The prose was delightful, humorously painting pictures of one woman's discovery of the delights living vicariously through one's child. Whether you have experienced this discovery or have yet to do so, the blogger eloquently describes the joys that make parenthood so fulfilling. I was so delighted with the smooth flow of the prose that I was compelled to explore other postings on the blog. I blogrolled it. Vote for this one, visit the blog!

5.0~Priorities & Frivolities: T3 in 2003: Rise of the Political Machine ~One of the classiest titles I have seen among Showcase entries. The blogger humorously uses terms from a lot of Schwarzenegger roles in this well-written analysis of Schwarzenegger's supposed tactical assessment of his chances for ascendency to the Governorship of California. In supporting his contentions, the blogger quotes from some of Schwarzenegger's bodybuilding books. Additional items were linked throughout, but a reading of none was necessary to understand the crux of his commentary.

4.5~Firefive: Barking Moonbat of the Month Award ~Although it was announced that this is the beginning of the named award, this was actually just a fisking of this colmmentary by Ted Rall on Yahoo! News.

4.5~The Usurer: For want of a fly-swat ~A long well written commentary about the problems with unemployment, interest rates, exchange rates and other financial woes in Australia. I disliked the use of acronyms that held no meaning for me.

4.5~Blog o'RAM: Home Alone ~Strange post about spending the day alone with one's family gone, and this guy cleaned house? Oh well, he did take an opprutunity to blog. He has a domain but no domain name, and the link was erratic. The posting was a bit on the inane side, but the attempt at humor is appreciable.

4.5~American Digest: The Sunday New York Times Lite ~Scanned the entire Sunday edition of the New York Times [except the crossword which is all I ever really care about] and synopsized it. It was still more than I wanted to read, however, especially as it was entered on the day before the vote count.

4.5~Frogs and Ravens: Finding the Still Point ~I do from time to time find posts that are so ephemeral that I have a hard time understanding the point being made. This was one of those. I loved the yoga descriptions and understood they were an analogy for some interactivity between the blogger and two other bloggers. It was a bit like being on the outside of an inside joke. I was lost in the meaning of it all, and yet, I somehow found the reading of this post of be somewhat calming. I envisioned myself falling flat on my back in any attempt to effect the yoga pose described.

4.5~SoonerThought: The General Who Would Be President ~A well written informative posting by someone who can only be General Wesley Clark's campaign manager or someone who would hope to hold such position, in all likelihood. I did find a most humorous quip in this post:

None other than fellow Arkansan President Clinton has declared that Clark would be a "fine president."

Yes, these days, such a ringing endorsement by Slick Willie should carry you far in American politics.

4.5~DW-I: "We're not going to beat Dean." ~Blog*spot, the link gets you close but you have to scroll to locate it. The post was full of a lot of very uninteresting facts and figures regarding the fund raising capabilities of the various Democratic candidates, with an emphasis on Dean's showing. The blogger ended with an analysis that had very little to do with the data provided in the post. The entry was well researched, well organized, fairly-well written, and not all that interesting.

4.0~Dohiyi Mir: I Get It: Saddam Was Bad ~On blog*spot and the link does not take you to the post. I was unable to locate the post at all, even though I did a search using a phrase from the excerpt on all four archive pages, as well as the main page. It might be a problem with blog*spot, but I need to find the post to review it. I couldn't. Due to ntodd's comment, I took another chance at finding this post. I was successful although the link still was chaotic. This was a well-written post which dealt with several issues surrounding the news stories out of Iraq, the Bush agenda as the blogger recognized it, and an impassioned plea for more humanitarian relief.The blog seems to primarily Bush bashing zealotism, so those of you who get off on such sites, check it out

4.0~Johnny America: The Royal Tenenbaums ~He saw the movie, the first time with Frank, his fellow Christmas tree seller, and he loved it; Frank didn't. Blogger saw it 5 times, and says the DVD is a must buy, or some other such words. I wasn't really sure why Frank came up, haven't seen the movie. Istill have no idea what it is about or who is in it, even after reading this review. It was interesting and well written, just confusing.

4.0~Bad Money: Today's Graffiti Currency: A Sea Story ~Once each week I seem to find one of these blogs that seem to have some kind of story line that is centered on one arcane subject. Those of you who have been keeping up with each week's contests will remember the dream blog and the truck blog. Well, this blog has a daily post with scanned bills of money. The entered post was one of the best I saw as I roamed about the blog. The story was humorous, though a bit inane. However, it did showcase the writing style of the blogger. Not all the posts are as great as this one, but the blogger knows his way around. This is a blog that I personally will not visit often as it uses some slow loading graphics. They have to load before any text is visible. My low-bandwidth connection makes that a pass on general principles. [Update: Blogger, Harvey Olson, says there may have been site server problems at the time I viewed this post, and loading is not generally all that slow.]

4.0~Canucker: No Echo ~It was a bit difficult to discern if there was any actual point to this long posting. It was an interesting read, but seemed to mostly be a description of showering/bathing on a very bad morning. Language is choice in parts, so beware if you are offended by the "F" word.

4.0~stevedanforth.com: In pursuit of a dream ~The guy is geek, a very successful geek, who wants to throw away success for a dream ... but gives no one a clue as to what that dream is. How very uninteresting, however, from reading some of the comments, a lot of other geeks are very supportive of his decision. Whatever. I am hopeful his dream does not involve his wanting to be a writer, because he also writes like a geek. He does get high marks for technical merit, though.

3.5~mythic flow: Individuality and Freedom ~The blog name in the entry is not the name of the blog and the actual post is untitled, but the link does take you to the right place. Right off, I got this revulsion akin to the sole reason I am the only person to graduate with a minor in English who did not take Sophomore English classes because I refused to read a book that began with a command, I was not pleased with reading a post that began with an incomplete sentence. The actual post hinted that there was a certain amount of intolerance in American that didn't jive with its belief in Individuality and Freedom. In essence, it was a very long, not very well written lead-in to a link to a Bill Moyers commentary.

3.5~Vantage Point: Fighting with Our Eyes Wide Shut ~The link takes you to an archive page, but the post is at the top. The blogger makes a series of broad sweeping statements about the handling of the Israeli-Palestinian peace process, pointing fingers at Bush and the Israelis, then praising Irish President Mary Robinson, Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu. Other than some sense that Bush's policy was somehow wrong, the actual point which was attempted to be made was very hard to discern.

3.5~One Father For Dean: Many Are Listening ~I am guessing this blog is somebody's father who is rooting for Dean to be our next President. I suppose if you are on the Dean bandwagon, you might like this blog, but this post had the persuasion power of marshmallows. It didn't move me, it didn't say much of anything to compel me to even wonder who Dean is.

3.5~EconoPundit: Noted with Relief ~The current top vote getter as I was reviewing the entry, I did not find it all that great. There was not much more than one original sentence and a chopped up quoting of portions of a WSJ.com column. The lead-in sentence had three links in it, the first one which had a term: transnational progressivism linked to a prior blog post in which the same term was linked to a June 10, 2002 commentary by John Fonte in American Diplomacy; the second link went to the full WSJ.com commentary; and the third that went to a June 30th column by Ed Kilgore in the Democratic Leadership Council Blueprint Magazine. As too much outside reading was necessary to understand the point the blogger was supposedly trying to be make and the actual quoted part was contextually akin to Dowdlerism, I have to rate this one somewhat lower than the voting would suggest it merits.

3.0~Eric Poole's Very Own Punditry: Court Affirms Bush's Power to Detain Citizen as Enemy ~[LINK is NZB 404 page ~ my link goes to the blog] The name of the blog is a bit different than the entry listing and the post has no title. It is on blog*spot and is dated July 10, 2003. The post was an interesting commentary on a recent Federal 4th Circuit Court of Appeals. The blogger did not identify the court in his post, but did find an apropos quote predating our own Constitution to argue that the kind of actions upheld by the Court were one of the reasons for the American Revolution. The blogger seems to have potential but needs to pay more attention to the technical items. Also, whenever you speak about a court decision, one should always completely identify the court.

3.0~Dissento's (Culture) War Journal: Tommy Franks Pulls a Cartman ~On blog*spot and the link is to the blog and not to the post, so you will have to search for this one. At least the title is correct. The claims made by the blogger were unsubstantiated by the linked story. There does appear to be some element of satire involved.

3.0~PunditMania: Quo Vaids Blogs ? ~Link is to the blog and not to the post. Blog seems to have no permalinking capabilities. I did locate what appeared to be a permalink but it took me to the archive index. This disclosed, however, that the blogger is using BLOGGER software which might explain why the permalink did not work correctly. The post itself was actually a pretty good analysis of blogging itself with lots of links. It was well written, albeit long, and is a worthy read for anyone interested in a good synopsis of blogging.

3.0~What Would George Say!: Out of Respect for the 9/11 Victims please contact your Congress members ~The blogger has very poor writing skills which makes a reading of this impassioned post to be very difficult to read. The blogger does point to what might be a situation worthy of further investigation and commentary.

2.5~TerraFirmaDiaries: just because you can does not mean we will ~This is not the title of the post. It is the first entry under July 7, 2003. The link is also not to the post, but is to the blog. The blog does not appear to have any permalinking capabilities. The blogger does not use the cap key at all, and the punctuation is sporadic. Also, the blogger will from time to time right justify a paragraph to set it off. The link supplied to the story supporting this entry was not in the form of a clickable link. The actual topic of the post was interesting, but the method of putting it out for public consumption was not.

2.0~Precision Blogging: Brief Random Provocations ~This blogger actually tried to enter a week's worth of short blurbs as the entry which may be technically outside the rules, but as the blog is done with BLOGGER software and on blog*spot, for whatever reason, I have not been able to fully load any pages on such sites of late and was only able to view the extinction post. For someone using the pen name Precision Blogger who authors Precision Blogging, I was not very impressed with the substandard technical merit of the blog.

1.5~Writing in Orange: Living in Orange 1: From Your Window ~There is not much of interest here. Although the blog may be of interest, it is too new to have much on it. This message was just an invitation for people living in Orange County to write about what they could see outside their window. I live nowhere near Orange County. If I did live in Orange County and thought that people would be interested my description of what was outside my window, I believe that I would put it on my own blog. As the purpose of the Showcase is to show off your bogging skills, writing skills and to entice more readership, I think this was not a good post for the Showcase or a good blog to have entered at this time.

1.0~BIROCO.COM ~ A way to look at things: A blatant attempt to influence Googlism ~The link is to the blog as there are no permalinks.

I can't be bothered making 'permalinks' for individual entries, as I regard this as throwaway stuff.

I agree, at least with reference to this posting. It was just a bunch of inane and ridiculous statements about the blogger so as to somehow get a longer list on Googlism. Yawn! I did nothing to enhance my listings, and yet my list on Googlism seems to be quite extensive. Do I really care? NO!

0.0~dr.mani's remarkably purple spots: an experiment in selfishness ~No score as I am of the opinion this blogger abused the purpose of the contest. Nothing but some asshat begging for people to send mass amounts of money and gifts. Pass on this one. I mean the domain is called ezinemarketingcenter, and the prizes awarded for contributions are likely ebooks on how to become a SPAMMER.

Being a Minx gets you a mink, I think

Oh my, did Kevin find* something interesting for a Saturday night read? How to be a Small Town Slut by someone calling herself Raymi the Minx. Graphic language is used but the instructions were very descriptively presented.

*He claimed he found it at busblog. I didn't find the link on that entry, but did see that Tony Pierce has been deeply affected by Raymi.

Voodoo Science: political style

All of this sounds really great [dustbury] . . . if I could only figure out what it all meant.

I think I need a nap!

See also where CG Hill commented that your sexual repression is measurable by how much of an ignorant tight ass you are.

Get your red hot economic analysis, right here!

Howard says any economic good news is not really all that good for the unemployed and the working class. Of course, he says it much better than that!

That which Susie has wrought:

Oh my, oh my! Susie's homework problem has started a discussion between John and James. Very interesting reading in both of their takes on U. S. Grant.

Modem auditory influenced inanity

You sometimes get the strangest modem sounds through a dialup connection. I am especially enamored with the one in which you get the crackles and hums, then two beeps, then about 10 to 50 seconds of static, then it changes to a low tone beep. At that point, I usually cancel that connection and try again.

Inane obsessions

Susie is getting help with her homework, and regrettably I seem to be falling out of favor as John and Frank are getting all of her attention lately.

Read my Directive to Physicians please!

I was a bit late finding this one. That is what I get for not visiting Asymmetrical Information often enough lately. It seems that a person who went into a coma at age 20 following a car accident has awakened after 19 years, and is now a 39-year-old quadraplegic. His family is glad to have him back and his 19-year-old daughter now has a chance to talk to her father.

I am thinking if it was me, I would be wishing they had pulled the plug many years ago. Just think of waking up having missed 19 years of your life, being unable to move your arms and legs, and having 19 years of accrued medical bills hanging over your head.

Sifting through the sands to find the nuggets

I noticed Jaboobie did a bit of tiptoeing through the Blogosphere and has posted a list of links for the pearls he found on his trip. I also noticed none of my fine entries made the cut. Oh well.

Trust me! This won't hurt a bit

Now just put on this blindfold . . . Glenn has the rest of this story.

Just how gullible should we think those girls really were?

The birds do it, the bees do it . . .

and the Bush family finds that even the elephants in Botswana do it.

attribution: Cracker Barrel Philosopher

Sic 'em James!

Somehow I am wondering if there is a [sic] missing from this excerpt from James Joyner's post, CLARK:

Indeed, while I've been critical of our lack at success finding WMD in Iraq, I don't understand the corollary argument that's going around that "therefore we now no that Saddam posed no threat to us."

UPDATE: Commenter Paul caught me with my thumb up my butt! The link should be to NO, HE DIDN'T.

A tad bit of Punditry, if you please!

I could not improve on Eugene's analysis or have stated it any better. There is a reason Volokh Conspiracy is on my blogroll. It is exquisite legal analysis like this that continually draws me back.

feste finds nothing worth commenting upon in the intire blogosphere. UPDATE: He found something.

Susie has got me thinking about getting my own tipjar. UPDATE: I really did have my thumb up my butt when posting yesterday: I linked to the wrong post here also. It should have been this one.

Riddle me this?

You are standing at a Y intersection. One way leads to Bugtussel and the other goes to Hooterville. You need to get to Hooterville. You see two identical twin boys who are known world-wide because one always lies and the other always tells the truth. What one question can ask that can be answered by both of them that will tell you which is the path to Hooterville?

UPDATE: Answered in the comments on Serenity's Journal by annika.

Watching the clock on Friday afternoon

What a day! Nothing much went on this morning, just one client who loves to come in and talk and talk. Mostly he talked about car stuff. He finally left and before I could get anything done, a girl came in. She was sent by a client to give me some insight on her ex-husband who is the complaining witness in his case. She was extremely attractive, so I gambled and invited her to lunch. She agreed! On the way, I had to stop by my house to dig into my capital as I am broke. I expected her to wait in the car, but she got out and followed me into my messy house. Yuck! Still we had lunch, and had an interesting conversation. We did agree that we would each like to see each other again. She even took a copy of the previous draft of my book. I guess it was not a true disaster allowing her to see the inside of the ***'s den. I guess the sight of scattered remnants of former meals was not thoroughly distasteful.

I saw that my friend's car was no longer parked in front of my house, so I suppose someone else took care of getting that serpentine belt back on the alternator pulley.

I am currently babysitting, as my secretary is running errands. It is just me and her three-month-old Kirstie manning the office. Kirstie is doing her part: sleeping quietly. I am so glad it is Friday, as I am totally beat today and really looking forward to getting home and getting some sleep.

Kill that damn snake

Well, today was a disaster every which way. First of all, I woke up with a sinus headache that never went away. Then spent all morning getting things lined up to spend all afternoon in jail visiting with about 18 clients. I get there, have to wait for 20 minutes before someone comes to the window so I can line up getting in to see all of them. There are 8 different rooms, and today, I had to get 6 keys to get into all the rooms I needed to get in to visit my clients. I had lined up the order of the rooms, so that everyone should be ready when I got there, but I probably spent more time waiting for people to show up that I spent talking to all of them.

I get home and I had told a friend that I would help her take the alternator out of her car and put in the new one. We started the mess at 6:00 p.m. and just gave up a few minutes ago, unfinished because we cannot get the damn serpentine belt back on. I will need to find a much longer wrench to get the tension adjuster to move enough to get enough slack to put it back on the pulley. I now remember why I pay people to do the work on my car. Of course, swapping alternators used to be such a simple job.

I am so hot I think I might be having a heat stroke. I am giving up for today. I am going to take a hot bath and go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.

Yes, I was here and I was busy

Well, today I did a massive posting on the only other post for today, and then came home and worked three hours on this week's New Weblog Showcase Review. As such, I probably missed many exciting happenings on the Blogosphere, and as I do not have time to go prowl InstaPundit or Jay Solo, I am hopeful my loyal readers will leave me hints to all the things I really should check out in the comments to this thread.

As an aside, according to SiteMeter, I had a phenomenal readership today, but I did not see any new comments or trackbacking. Strange.

My day, or the good, the bad and the ugly

OK, so why did I go to the dentist? Well, Sunday, while eating a piece of pizza, I found a goodly portion of the tooth had just fallen off. It was the one just to the left of my upper two front teeth. I was left with a very unsightly Billy Bob smile that perturbed me greatly. Now, truthfully, if I was to answer one of the 25 questions posed by Acidman:

17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

It bothers me that I did such a poor job of it. I actually had very good teeth only a decade ago. My late wife's father is a dentist, and he took very good care of my teeth, and they were not all that bad anyway. Regrettably, a couple of factors can be attributed to why my teeth have deteriorated into the mess they are today. First of all, my wife died, and I really just allowed myself to go to pot over that incident for a number of years. Secondly, I have made several attempts to quit smoking over the past few years, and the placebo that works best for me, as I do not chew gum, is to suck on candies. I actually found lemon drops eased my urge to smoke the best, until I also found they were quickly eroding the enamel on my teeth.

A couple of years ago, I lost a chunk of one at the back of my mouth. I became very self conscious about my breath, because I had previously smelt the breath of someone with a decaying tooth and it was horrendous. I then began sucking Altoids almost all the time. Being almost 100% sugar, they assisted the rest to begin to decay.

I knew what was in my mouth and I knew I should be getting to the dentist, but I was also literally ashamed to allow anyone to have that good of a look into my mouth. It took having one ruin my smile to force me into action.

OK, the good news is that there is some portion of all of my teeth in there. The bad news is that almost all have some decay. The dentist had thought I went in today because I was experiencing pain with the one that broke off. I actually have no pain, except for one or two points I hit while chewing or when brushing. Of course, those painful points had also made me less inclined to brush as often as I should.

My hope is that all can be capped. I have to go back next week for a more thorough exam. After such exam, the dentist, a real cutie, will have some idea what options we have. Until then, I have been given a fluoride paste to apply every night, to slow the rate of decay. It seems to have escalated alarmingly after I lost that piece of tooth on Sunday.

The dentist said I was a very good looking man . . . until I opened my mouth. I knew that. It has been awhile since I was really comfortable with my smile. Thankfully, it seems I might become comfortable with it again in the very near future.

Take care of your teeth, ya'll. It is really hard to chew a good T-Bone without 'em.

Oh, after I got out of the dentist, I figured by the time I drove back to my hometown it would be after office hours anyway, so I went across the street to the movie theatre and caught a matinee showing of T3. Sorry, Arnie, but I did not see much difference between the story line in this one and the one in T2, and the effects were essentially the same. Of course, I thought Rocky lost it's appeal after the first sequel also. Robocop should not have had a sequel.

War on Drugs: Alaska judge says precedent overrides popular vote

A judge in Alaska has ruled that a 1975 Alaska Supreme Court decision established that a person had an Alaskan Constitutional right to possess marijuana under a certain amount in their own homes and that even though the people of Alaska had voted to make it illegal to possess any amount of marijuana, such vote had no authority to overide such Constitutional right. As such, he threw out a criminal conviction given by a jury. [full story]

attribution: Hit & Run

Hmmm, now that is really strange

I just found that my Parental Guilt and Stay at Home Moms post was entered into the Carnival of the Vanities. I didn't enter it, so I suppose someone else must have entered it for me. Thanks for the vote of good faith, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are!

Could someone just shoot me?

I am sitting on the phone trying to get my insurance company to fax my information to someone else so I can get in to see a dentist 90 minutes from where I live to take care of an emergency dental problem. As if it was not bad enough that I have to drive 90 minutes to find a dentist that takes my insurance, or that I actually have to go see a dentist, they are playing the most gawd-awful music over their system while I am on hold. Just how excruciating can this day be?

I will either be on the way to, at, or on the way back from the dentist until further notice.

And in other news

Dave, the Wise Man Says he hates paying bills. While I am yet still on the good side of 50 by a couple of years, I cannot remember ever hearing anyone say that they liked the experience. I can just imagine hearing Bill Gates complaining about the size of his electric bills.

Glenn points to this Los Angeles Times story which paints a less than glamorous picture about the risks of being a porn star. Now, I have to admit that I was really surprised that sexually transmitted diseases were being passed around by the actors [not!!!!].

links, links, my kingdom for some links

James over at Parkway Rest Stop talks about how maybe he has come to the end of worrying so much about his climb up the ladder in the Blogosphere Ecosystem. All I wonder is why he has yet to notice that I have had him on my blogroll for some period of time and he has yet to add me to his. Oh well, it probably has something to do with us both being practicing attorneys and professional jealously ... or some other such foolish nonsense.

The light is finally green

It seems that Viacom and Spike Lee have agreed to settle the argument and the name of lame station TNN can be changed to Spike TV. I understand the agreement had nothing to do with:

While the case was pending, Lee was in Los Angeles filming "Sucker-Free City" for Showtime, a cable network owned by Viacom.

attribution: damnum absque injuria*

*Thankfully such blog has a text title and not a graphic title, so that it is easily cut-and-pastable because I am almost sure I would make a mistake in trying to retype that without looking.

Bloggy goodness & other boring minutae

Pixy Misa has a lot of games and videos and has also gone and named me as one of his two Blogfriends! I feel so very honored by such! I just wonder if it comes with the privilege of borrowing any of his games and videos?

NZB has been hard at work trying to let us all know how popular our blogs are, and I am glad to see that I am still in the top 250 in the Blogosphere Ecosystem, although I am exactly #250 currently, and am also near the top 250 in daily visitation. Of course, I have now been blogging exactly 3 months and 4 days, and still have not been mentioned by Glenn Reynolds.

Kevin at Wizbang, who not only did a marvelous job in my stead doing last weeks' reviews of the New Weblog Showcase, has also decided to take on the Carnival of the Vanities by hosting the Bonfire of the Vanities: a showcase of the bad and ugly posts submitted by bloggers.

While so many were off playing, Susie was busy blogging. As is her custom, Susie has patrolled her favorite sites and, upon hitting mine, expressed her glee at my return from the camping trip. She also pointed to John's harrowing brush with death, which refreshed my memory to a similar incident that happened to me many years ago.

I learned to ride motorcycles when I was 12. Almost my whole life, I owned a motorcycle and was an avid motorcycle rider. When I was going to law school in Houston, I regularly rode to classes on my motorcycle. One evening, as I was leaving for home, it began to rain, as it does in Houston from time to time. I had been caught often enough in such situation, so I did what I regularly did, pull off my shoes and socks and stash them in a waterproof container, roll up my pants legs and put on my rainsuit over the rest of my clothes.

Now, most people who do not ride motorcycles do not understand that even the smallest drop of rain feels like a pellet shot from a pellet gun when it hits your skin at even moderate speeds. As I where I lived was only approachable if you ventured for some distance on I-10, and knowing I could only proceed at speeds nearing 20 mph, I was riding along the access road. I came to an intersection where the light was red and I stopped. I was barefooted.

The light turned green, and I began to proceed slowly through the intersection when I heard sirens right on top of me and could see flashing red lights immediately to my left in my peripheral vision. I was ready to feel the full force of a speeding emergency vehicle slam into me at full force. I froze. I could not move. It must have taken me less than a second to discover that the ambulance was sitting at a stop but it played like an eternity in my mind. I eventually realized the paramedics had likely only gotten the call and engaged the sirens as the light was changing. They were calmly waiting for me to clear the intersection so they could proceed.

Thankfully, I did so, but for some reason, I have been less than enchanted with riding motorcycles ever since that experience. I never bought another one after that one, and only rode it when it was absolutely the only form of transportation available.

Something free from eBay: your personal information.

I read this article by Eugene Volokh which commented upon American Digest's take on the report by Jonah Engle of The Nation about eBay's willingness to give law enforcement officials almost any information it has about people doing business through eBay. The Nation's report begins:

Speaking at a conference this winter on Internet crime, eBay.com's director of law enforcement and compliance, Joseph Sullivan, offered law-enforcement officials extensive access to personal customer information.

Ebay's Number One Rent-A-Cop Joe Sullivan put police around the country on notice that Ebay won't ask them for anything as inconvenient as a court order when it comes to getting your personal information from the online leviathan.

If the police go to a store and say "Can you tell us who bought this item? We're investigating a crime, and this might be relevant," I imagine many store owners will say "Sure, officer -- we like to help the police." I think that's traditionally been seen as part of a citizen's moral duty: Not just to give the minimal legally required help to the police, with the maximal legally permissible obstruction, but to help wholeheartedly, at least until he sees that there's some serious abuse taking place.

Sullivan even offered to conscript eBay's employees in virtual sting operations: "Tell us what you want to ask the bad guys. We'll send them a form, signed by us, and ask them your questions. We will send their answers directly to your e-mail."

*However, I suppose I could prove to several of the idiots, once and for all, that I don't need any of their stupid pills.

This week's New Weblog Showcase

[ed. note: This is a predated post created on July 3, 2003]

This week's New Weblog Showcase Review is being done by guest reviewer Kevin of Wizbang. Please visit Kevin and support his fine efforts in my absence.

UPDATE: I just wanted to say that I thought Kevin did a fine job of filling in for me this weekend, and did a very great job at reviewing the entries!

I thought they came in THREEs

I thought those deaths were always supposed to come in sets of three. We had Gregory Peck, then Kate Hepburn, and then Buddy Hackett, so that should have been it ... and now I find that N!xau* has died?

attribution: Dustbury

*He was the bushman who found the Coke bottle in "The Gods Must Be Crazy." I rarely ever laugh out loud at much, even that I find fairly funny, but I was rolling in laughter when I watched that movie.

Oh, my! what happened?

I am almost sure I just posted my great American novel for all to see, and now it does not seem to be here anymore and the .doc file I had on my computer seems to have disappeared, also. Surely, it has nothing to with this?*

*I apologize for that tall tale, like I am even qualified to write a great American novel. Surely no one actually fell for the story, did they?

Did the Blogosphere evaporate during my absence?

I do not think I have ever seen a time when I looked up and down my blogroll that there was not a single blog not showing to have been recently updated. It makes me want to run turn on my TV to see what intriguing news story has drawn everyone from their computers.

The stripes of the ***

I just spent three days next in a lake side park having a miserable time. Often I find myself in situations where I wonder if I am the only responsible person around, more often than not. Over three days, it appeared that everyone was solely interested in sitting around getting drunk. Of course, while they were getting drunk, a few dozen pre-teen children, many armed with high explosives, were without proper supervision.

On two separate nights, loud verbal exchanges and threats were heard from various campsites as some couple or another aired out their disagreements after one or the both of them had reached a high state of inebriation. No one watched their children, it seemed, as they pretty much went from camp to camp eating and drinking everything they could find. I saw one woman so drunk she passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand, under which sat her two-month-old child strapped snugly in a child carrier.

Regrettably, the group I was a member of was not excluded from any of this craziness, although we had no two-month-old children. Our youngest was 4 years old. As a single, unattached person, I was wondering why I have been invited. After the first day, I concluded that I was the park's token responsible adult.

I am very glad to be home. Despite what many of my friends may think about my spending large amounts of my time at home alone, I so very often find that to be much more enjoyable than most alternatives.

Was that an echo I heard?

I wasn't here today either, see yesterday's post as to why there is a post here that wasn't composed by me on this day.

3 glorious months of blogging

Today is my three month blogging anniversary, and is actually the first day that I did not enter a single post, as this one was written after I returned and backdated just so I would not have an empty hole in my numerical calendar. It was bothering me.

Happy Fourth of July, ya'll

I have gone campin' ... be back when I get back, no guest blogger, so nothin' new 'til I return! Ya'll all have a happy and safe 4th of July, 'ceptin' ya'll that ain't got no reason to celebrate American Independence Day! Drink responsibly!!!!!!

You surely have my nod!

On the situation about sending troops to Liberia, James at Parkway Rest Stop had this to say:

American troops to Liberia? Bad idea. I believe that country has been a mess since 1822. Sounds to me like a job for the French.

Smile, KID, you are on hidden camera!

Frequent reader and commentor AstreaEdge led me to a story about hidden cameras in boys and girls locker rooms at Livingston Middle School.

The cameras reportedly captured students, ages 10-14, in various stages of undress.

Unrelated: I have raved and raved about AstreaEdge's great skills at blog designing. The secret is now being shared. It is professed to be simple, but I am afraid it is not so simple as to be beyond my feeble capabilities.

Needed: Someone else . . .

. . . to do this week's New Weblog Showcase review. I have weekend plans, so will not have the time to do one for this week. There are already 6 submissions to the contest. Anyone who wants to undertake this mission wins a link on the top post of my blog until Monday morning, as I will link to you so that those who might venture here will know where to look for this week's reviews. As an incentive to think about it, doing the reviews assisted me in jumping several places in the Blogosphere Ecosystem at a rapid rate, so the effort does get you noticed.

The swinging of the pendulum

Chris at shrugger unceremoniously points to this Washington Times story in which a recent survey by the Center for the Advancement of Women shows that a majority of women have shifted to the pro-life stance with regard to abortion.

I have previously stated that this matter should be a Constitutional Amendment proposal so that the whole nation can once and for all vote on whether abortion should be illegal or not.

I have always been highly disenchanted with the idea of abortion being used as just another form of birth control. However, I also believe that there is a point where what exists is only a mass of insentient cells and that eradication of such cellular mass is not completely immoral. I just find it reprehesible for doctors, or even worse, untrained people in back alleys with coat hangers, to do a surgical procedure to extract it from a woman's womb. I am much more comfortable with a morning after pill. I am not female, and despite my having amassed a certain amount of general knowledge in almost every subject, I am still both amazed and befuddled about the female reproductive system.

I am very comfortable with abortion being used in rape, incest, health risk and fetal deformity situations. In all others, there should hardly ever be a real necessity to resort to abortion.

All sex is either consensual or it is rape. If it is consensual, in the majority of cases, the female is knowledgeable about pregnancy risks associated with non-use of contraceptives. I cannot see any excuse for unwanted pregnancies to a great degree, although I recognize that any contraceptive device, save abstinence, has some chance of failure. However, the number of abortions exceeds the statistical probabilities that all or even most abortions are due to contraceptive failure.

So, what is the deal? Do we have a large number of women who want to have a baby with a man, then after a month or so find out what kind of cad he really is, and change their minds? It all comes back to the same scenario: women do not adequately take charge of their bodies during the sex act. Of course, after the act, when they find they are pregnant, their claim is that it is their body. No one should be able to tell them what they can and cannot do with their own body. Spock would state that this was illogical: that because you chose to use your own body in an episode of unprotected sex, thereby risking pregnancy, you are wronged by being required to live with the consequences of your own choice.

Do I have the answers? No. Do I feel it is my place to tell others what moral choices to make in their lives? No. Does this dilemma make me have less respect for members of the human race? Yes.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

If you don't, it might be a bad day to ask Jen, because she has had a very bad day and in suffering the ill effects of homones raging out of control, I think.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy Laughing Wolf

Laughing Wolf has a very good discussion on killing vs. murder and hurt vs. harm. I was a bit confused as to how his [r]eading the new Harry Potter book brought forth this discussion to his mind, but then I have not read the new Harry Potter book. I might not do so for a long while. I have quite a number of other books above that one on my reading list. However, Laughing Wolf has now severely piqued my curiousity about what might possibly be between the covers of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I'm late for court & can't find my crayons

Yes, we have some of the smartest lawyerin' in the world down here in Texas. Just to prove my point, I would like to point out this very poignant analysis of the skill and expertise of my learned brethren from the Texas bar in this case by Samuel B. Kent, United States District Judge, Southern District of Texas, Galveston Division:

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact — complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words — to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions.

Woohoo! Now we are cooking with gas!

Thanks to a nifty script from Aaron that I received from Sassy I can finally get those extended entries to open up in the main window instead of taking you to the individual entry archive windows. Hopefully, that will allow me to streamline this blog a bit, and make it so much easier to peruse all the offerings without getting blocked by all those long, verbose blocks of text that seem to block your way as you scroll down the page!

Update: Stay at Home Motherhood

An interesting item I found in my morning email:

RealAge Tip of the Day : Fight Cancer by Cleaning

A little extra housework each day may help protect you from reproductive cancers.

A recent study revealed that moderate physical exertion, such as the exertion required to vacuum floors, scrub windows, or perform other routine household tasks, may influence ovarian cancer risk. Women who performed moderate physical activities most frequently had a 35% lower risk of ovarian cancer compared to sedentary women.

Blame it all on Corporate America

David, in a comment to my post on how I made it through college asked:

Are you going to tell us what prompted the decision to go to law school...?

When I graduated in 1978, having my brand spanking new Bachelor of Liberal Arts in Political Science Degree from the University of Texas at Arlington, I thought I had achieved the pinnacle of success. I spent several days sending my resume and cover letter to literally thousands of the Fortune 500 and other companies listed on the NYSE. I continued my graveyard job, kept paying my rent, drinking the beer, and smoking the cigarettes awaiting those thousands of good job offers that flooded people with college diplomas in their hands. And I waited and I waited and I waited. Then one day, after I had waited so long I had almost given up hope, I got a letter from the Prudential Insurance Company. I was offered a position with their company selling life insurance door-to-door.

Now, it is really hard for a man of 23 to cry like a baby, but I really did. I was so down and disenchanted, I picked up the phone to call the only person I knew would listen to me: my momma. The first thing my momma said to me was, "Son, I am so proud of you." That made my chest stick out a bit. The she said, "Don't give up hope, son. I had always thought you should be a lawyer, so why don't you move back home for a bit and apply to law school."

Now, one thing you have to know about me is that I was never all that crazy about the town where I grew up, and had actually gotten quite attached to Arlington, Texas, but all of a sudden the thought of me being a lawyer had a kind of a ring to it. I mean after all, my choices were 1. to stay where I was and continue building a career in convenience stores, 2. take that job and try my hand at door-to-door insurance sales,* or 3. put my tail between my legs, realize my failure, slink back home and live with my mom and dad for a bit. My mom actually made No. 3 sound like my best option, so I called my best friend, and the next morning he and I packed all my booty in the back of his pickup and we caravanned the 200 miles back to the old hacienda.

My momma had talked to my aunt** who had talked to those special customers who ate in the snack bar at the bank where she worked, and my aunt had finagled me a job working 11-7 in the data processing department of the bank. It was actually a pretty good job, although I was the low man on the totem pole despite being the only one who had a college degree. However, I knew absolutely nothing about computers and here I was working in room full of mainframes. I sorted checks on a large machine. I took the very next offering of the LSAT.

I was a bit afraid of applying to law school, as I felt I had not really done my best during my college years, and that my 3.42 GPA was not all that great. I was very pleased when my LSAT scores came back in the 85th percentile, but as it seemed to be primarily a vocabulary and logic test, it played right into my strengths. I got several partial scholarship offers from some out of state schools,*** but after researching tuition rates, I was still better off going to the State schools in Texas without any scholarship. There were 4 such schools: Texas, Texas Tech, University of Houston, and Texas Southern University.**** I applied to all four. Almost immediately I received an acceptance letter from Texas Tech. TSU followed quickly. I discarded the one from TSU because I had found that their pass rate on the bar was about 15%. I visited Tech. University of Houston came and I considered whether I would rather live in the middle of 200 miles of bare cotton fields for half the year or live 40 miles from the beach. Regrettably, the beach won,***** so I called and released my seat at Tech. I wanted Texas so badly! Alas, I never received any response, so on the deadline for accepting the seat at UofH, I called and reserved my seat.

*You have to realize that my one and only attempt at door-to-door sales had been a disaster. When I was 10, I ordered a lot of flower seeds off the back of a comic book to sell door to door to get some prize. I worked all week and did not sell a pack. I was talking about it to my momma and my little 6 year old brother asked if he could try. I let him, and within 3 hours he had sold every pack. I was not cut out to sell anything door-to-door.******

**This is the same aunt who emails me the stuff I share on this blog from time to time. She is my momma's sister and is the only aunt I have or have ever had.

***It really did disturb me that several of the schools from the Deep South had asked me to submit a picture with my application. I suspected that they didn't accept ugly people to those schools, and didn't apply.

****Texas Southern University's Thurgood Marshall School of Law was created in response to the famous separate but equal doctirine case, Sweatt vs. Texas. Their campus was actually 3 blocks from the University of Houston campus. Their pass rate on the Texas bar has greatly increased over the last few years.

*****My sinuses have never been the same after having lived in that highly humid climate in Houston for three years. I had not seemed to have the same trouble with my sinuses during the shorter haul when I was stationed at Ft. Polk, LA for 18 weeks in 1973.

******I suspect that when I run for County Attorney next year, I will have to attempt to sell myself door-to-door.

[If anyone has any interest about what it is like getting married and divorced during law school, I experienced that also.]

No Virginia, you can't sue Glenn Reynolds

That ever unpredictable 9th Circuit has assisted the blogging community. As summarized by the FindLaw Corporate Counsel Center - TECHNOLOGY newsletter, the Court had this to say:

BATZEL v. SMITH, No. 01-56380, 01-56556 (9th Circuit, June 24, 2003) A service provider or user is immune from liability under [47 USC] § 230(c)(1) when a third person or entity that created or developed the information in question, furnished it to the provider or user under circumstances in which a reasonable person in the position of the service provider or user would conclude that the information was provided for publication on the Internet or other "interactive computer service."

Pardon my French, but F**K YOU France!

[ed. note: As the author of the central post commented that I had mischaracterized his report, I have reread such, have come to the realization that I may have inferred more than was intended, and have attempted to revise my post to more acurately reflect the truth.]

Would you believe that all some symbols representing the United States of America appear to have been removed from the Memorial Museum of the Battle of Normandy in Bayeux, France? < Anticipatory Retaliation < Right Wing News < Ravenwood's Universe

Isn't that just like the French? You send thousands of your young men to their death in liberation of their country, and they [supposedly] spit in your face like this if you go liberate another country without their blessing.

Ain't it a crying shame

Howard at Oculations claims that Kate Hepburn's rise to fame was wholly due to her father's fortune. Isn't it shameful that she used money to bypass the time-honored tradition of young starlets having to sleep their way to the top?

Is it shameful to admit that Houston receives absolutely no national attention?* attribution: Chris [shrugger]

And shamefully, I must admit that I am going to miss seeing Lee Ann's cheesy comments during her hiatus.

*Beware of flying popups!

I am pretty picky about my nits

The previous entry, which shows to have been originally posted at 11:33 p.m., originally took 20 or so minutes to compose and edit to the point where I posted it, and then I have spent the entire time between that 11:33 pm posting time and the time of this entry editing that one until I am almost satisified. I might read it again once or twice tomorrow and see if I can find another nit or two to pick.